resident rhamphorhynchus @salmon-slam - Tumblr Blog

kill the imposter syndrome in your head because not only is there someone out there doing it worse than you, they’re also using chat gpt to do it

orcflorist

every now and then, there are orcs

orcflorist

if you see this post you are legally obligated to imagine an modern orc staring at their computer screen half scrolling tumblr and half watching hell's kitchen after drinking a bottle of wine

batmanisagatewaydrug

always some new bullshit in the ocean

local-demon-in-your-area

Why is it always orcas or dolphins

Why can't a salmon do some bullshit for once

batmanisagatewaydrug

worry not ☝️ they're doing coke

#target audience

tropiyas

weaponized competence

tropiyas

learned helpfulness

slowpokegamer

*looking at myself in the mirror*

Fanfiction is supposed to be cringy. You're allowed to write bad. You're allowed to be cringe. Fanfiction is supposed to be self indulgent. You're allowed to be cringe. Let yourself be cringe. Fanfiction is supposed to be fun. Stop putting arbitrary rules on yourself and be free.

redstonedust

the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

blessphemy

this is how morbius can still win

dogpuppy

beemovieerotica

i'm so fucking tired but can't sleep

#srsly what is happening

the horrors...

#three more weeks and then i finally have a psych appointment #good lord it's bad #salmonthinks

11thfempachi

Girls just wanna have fun

themysteriousmurasamecastle

been repeating this in my head all day

borange

honest to god fill my uterus with these, how many will fit? how many until its noticeable? lets make a game out of it! get them big ass balls into me

02nd

hi

2urban2fantasy-deactivated20241

You should all be beaten like piñatas

benihana-circumcision

dont do that bro the fucking boba r gonna shoot out

benihana-circumcision

just fucking imagine the noise . the fucking Schfpblort.

garaks-padded-cell

when your dog looks back at you on a walk like heh... we are really walking right now man

smeefy-smoofy

garaks-padded-cell

Youll pay for erasing her role in this story

tpwrtrmnky

The idea of Mario and Peach having any kind of relationship beyond the occasional kiss on the nose and "mama mia" is like viscerally incomprehensible to me

Not like in a prude way I just can't conceive of Mario experiencing... urges. He's a character outside the scope of that. I'm not saying he's asexual either cause positioning him on the allo/ace spectrum implies that it's a dimension of his character that at least exists, that he has at some point noticed it. I think he just jumps.

tpwrtrmnky

Luigi probably fucks though.

tpwrtrmnky

#op interrogate yourself about why you think this right fucking now

So unlike Mario, who continues to be essentially a void with no internality, I actually act with thoughts and intent and already did do that when writing this post.

Mario is a mascot of one of the most sanitized corporate brands in existence. He differs from real, full-fledged ace people in that his sexlessness is not queer, not transgressive in any sense of the word, just a void left by his position as a player character. He has no queer identity because he has no identity beyond the fact that it's-a-him, Mario.