I have an unhealthy relationship with most physical pleasures including food and having sex would you like to be best friends
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@saltwaterlake
I have an unhealthy relationship with most physical pleasures including food and having sex would you like to be best friends
Love is not consolation. It is light. - Simone Weil
unfortunately i have free will so im about to make art that is going to appeal to basically 4 people. let us hope those 4 people follow me.
omg just noticed how he's trembling here. MY HEART.
ruben did say "before i lose you forever" askljhda niall got the implication right. the only universe in which ruben "loses" him is the one where niall dies because as long as he's alive he's rubens :))))
I do think too that it was the moment he realized what was going on. pretty sure he went to that barn for a confrontation, to clear things between them, just like in the hospital years ago. but this phrase and āit will be over soonā made him realize.
yeah š he asked Ruben 'not to do this' and we know it's not about assaulting him again because a) Niall never did and never would address the assaults head on b) Ruben's pattern of sexual assaults are quick-and-brutal, while this is... tender. Ruben is affectionate with words and with gestures. Niall's not getting out of this alive, and he knows it
the real question is, did he know deep down that Ruben would follow him shortly and willingly?
honestly, I don't think he would be conscious enough to have any coherent thoughts with how scared he was, and emotional in general. and let's not forget that he was hit in the head like five minutes before. Could he have known deep down? also no. he had a deep understanding of Ruben, but at the same time, he was fucking clueless. he knew that they loved each other, and that's all the grace I'll allow. I don't think he realized that Ruben was also addicted to the toxicity of their relationship. but mainly I don't think there is any space for romanticizing this moment - he was scared. he died scared, and by the hand of the person he loved most, who was so many things to Niall that it couldn't have been contained. he died terrified, and he probably blamed himself for it, too, because he finally pushed Ruben over the edge.
has anyone already talked about niall naming his ruben inspired protagonist cosmo
because it's uh
The name "Cosmo" has its origins in the Greek word "kosmos," which means "order," "universe," or "world." This etymology reflects a broader philosophical concept in ancient Greece, where the cosmos was seen as an ordered and harmonious system. (...) Additionally, the name has been used in literature and popular culture, often symbolizing characters with a cosmic or larger-than-life perspective. (...)Its connections to the cosmos and the universe resonate with individuals seeking a name that signifies order and beauty in a chaotic world. (x)
it def carries the "you are my world" loud vibe and clear and wow. he went there. on a book anyone could read
also
The name "Billy" is a diminutive of the name "William," which originates from the Germanic elements "wil" meaning "will" or "desire" and "helm" meaning "helmet" or "protection." Therefore, the name William can be understood as "resolute protector." (xx)
yes, I did consider it since I have kosmos in my native language... but have you considered that Ruben named his their son Baird...
šššš what does baird mean
it's from Gaelic, meaning "poet" š it's a Scottish surname, actually, and initially functioned as an occupation title for like, storytellers
omg just noticed how he's trembling here. MY HEART.
ruben did say "before i lose you forever" askljhda niall got the implication right. the only universe in which ruben "loses" him is the one where niall dies because as long as he's alive he's rubens :))))
I do think too that it was the moment he realized what was going on. pretty sure he went to that barn for a confrontation, to clear things between them, just like in the hospital years ago. but this phrase and āit will be over soonā made him realize.
yeah š he asked Ruben 'not to do this' and we know it's not about assaulting him again because a) Niall never did and never would address the assaults head on b) Ruben's pattern of sexual assaults are quick-and-brutal, while this is... tender. Ruben is affectionate with words and with gestures. Niall's not getting out of this alive, and he knows it
has anyone already talked about niall naming his ruben inspired protagonist cosmo
because it's uh
The name "Cosmo" has its origins in the Greek word "kosmos," which means "order," "universe," or "world." This etymology reflects a broader philosophical concept in ancient Greece, where the cosmos was seen as an ordered and harmonious system. (...) Additionally, the name has been used in literature and popular culture, often symbolizing characters with a cosmic or larger-than-life perspective. (...)Its connections to the cosmos and the universe resonate with individuals seeking a name that signifies order and beauty in a chaotic world. (x)
it def carries the "you are my world" loud vibe and clear and wow. he went there. on a book anyone could read
also
The name "Billy" is a diminutive of the name "William," which originates from the Germanic elements "wil" meaning "will" or "desire" and "helm" meaning "helmet" or "protection." Therefore, the name William can be understood as "resolute protector." (xx)
yes, I did consider it since I have kosmos in my native language... but have you considered that Ruben named his their son Baird...
What do the half man brainworms currently have you working on šš
well. the big ass research I was referring to was the one about Ruben's sentences. I will be reading more on the Scottish criminal legal system pre- vs. post- the Act of 1993, because I find it particularly interesting how many 'developed' countries had this great big idea about resocialization that failed spectacularly. tbh I'm more interested in the moral dilemma of whether fixing ex-convicts is socially profitable (because the biggest issue with the prison systems is, in general, lack of funds - what a surprise). also, there was this half-jokingly asked question floating around if universal income would prevent most of what happened in the show... I'm trying not to go there because, in all honesty, it's one of the most triggering things for me personally (like in general) - how different our lives could have been if only it wasn't ruled by greed.
the second thing is about Niall's relationship with sex (Ruben's by extension, because obviously) and what it really tells us, because one thing I love about explicit media is a character study masquerading as pornography (stealing your line, @vincentpriceofficial, because it was so good to describe what I'm trying to say). I'm extremely tired of treating sex as this tragically taboo topic while at the same time, everything is promoted with it (not everything, but you get my point, sex sells and all that). one thing is I just like talking about sex (many times more than having it, sue me). Still, it is a well-known fact that making it into this shameful topic can profit only abusers, rapists, people who want to control others, and people who care only about their pleasure. that's one of the main reasons why Ruben's never tells anyone about his abuse. one of the reasons why Niall's never really allows even himself to acknowledge what Ruben did to him, again and again. anyway, I know I used sex as a device for purposes other than deriving pleasure from it. It's both validating and humbling to see a character doing the same - looking for dopamine, for danger (we talked about him not using protection and being passively suicidal - very interesting to me), for building himself up, for degrading himself. I love how compulsive he is about it, and how clearly it's shown (well, it's obvious to me because I'm interested in the topic). I'm also enamored with his relationship with violent sex, because I don't believe that would be his preference. I don't believe that choking was that big of a factor when he came this first time with Ruben, but his presence and closeness in itself, and I'm getting a bit uneasy every time I see someone commenting on that. I'm saying this as a choking enthusiast (sorry for the coming out, I feel like it's somehow important) - I know that my preferences were influenced by various factors. I'm wondering how many of them are similar to Niall's (projecting much, I know). we joke around Ruben basically fucking him through the mattress with Niall's enthusiastic if silent consent, but isn't the fact of it being silent the most thrilling for him? the fact that Ruben is dangerous, especially to Niall? I feel like we have this stereotypical mentality of 'bad boy being good only to me'. and it's so intoxicating, it really is. then we have Ruben's desires to think about, but I probably already have written more than it's socially acceptable, so I'll stop myself now (also, things to do other than writing about them, fuck). sorry for the non-sexy answer, careful next time you ask about something!
Has it ever been talked about why Ruben is so hairless lol?? Because Richardās slutty little chest hair yesterday tells us itās not an actor thing
maybe it's wanting to be the opposite of his dad? maybe its a subconscious desire ruben has to embody the boy that felt the most loved, the closest he's ever felt to anybody??? or maybe mona just likes him with no hair - or he thinks he looks better smooth??
if he did have chest hair i know niall would have been scheming and conniving his way to rubbing his face on that patch of fur. they would've had that conversation years before because niall cannot control himself around his big brother bear <3
okay that's all valid but I had a lot of thoughts about it, too, so I'm gonna say what I said in some comments before - there are practical reasons for all that, too, because Ruben is used to physical fighting, and hair pulling during a fight is fucking painful. in terms of vanity reasons - muscles look more pronounced without body hair (the general consensus in body building, I don't necessarily agree). this might work better on the screen, too, since the muscles aren't covered by anything = more pronounced. ALSO, we have to clearly see his Baird tattoo, which is important to the character. thank you for coming to my tedtalk
fujoing out is the only way we're gonna get through any of this btw. its all we have left
the best thing a fictional man can be is having the worst time of his life
It is the best and the worst thing all at once. It's like the only thing⦠It's the only thing I've ever felt.
Half Man | 1.02 | 1.06 |
so. I got obsessed with the last seconds of the hospital scene. I just can't stop looking at all the microexpressions, all these looks, like what the fuck bros. this is insane acting. so let me dissect this.
their reactions to each other's apologies:
niall before going for a hug:
ruben realising what's happening:
and, well. THEE HUG:
how they cling to each other. fuuuuck.
and ruben cradling his head as a bonus:
everything is a reference when you're crazy
Ideas and delusions of reference - Wikipedia
Horny anons I will get to you soon but hey real quick: what exactly is the legal system in Half Manās Scotland? Ruben goes to prison for 10+ years for Alby butā¦2/3 years for Benji?
The Barn Murderx2(Orgasm Edition) has to be no later than 2018, right? Theyād be 47& 49 then and I refuse to believe a 50yr old Ruben Pallister still has that fuck ass hair cut and hasnāt gone fully grey. And thatās already stretching credulity, neither of them look that old and Niall looks too fresh after decades of party favour use.
OKAY, I FOUND OUT SOME IMPORTANT STUFF. going off a few sources, the attack on Alby took place in 1989, and the trial in 1993. As I initially mentioned, the assault would probably be classified as assault to the danger of life (the permanent impact, i.e. face disfigurement, is a lesser offence and more often than not the prosecution will choose one as the main). We saw that Ruben's trial was a jury trial, which clearly indicates both that it was a grievous offence and that the sentence will be severe, at least 5 years. 5 years TO LIFE, so even if Ruben got, let's say, 10-ish years (which would allow him to have a few years to 'get the girl, the car, and the house'), that's a pretty light sentence. What mitigating factors could come into play here, especially considering that Niall's confession was out the window (considering how emotional and unsure he was, it's possible that the jury was instructed to dismiss it completely)? Well, we can be sure there was no talk about Ruben's past sexual assaults done to him. And who else could testify on his behalf, Maura, Lori? Well, maybe Lori, since she was a social worker, and I imagine Ruben's defense would like someone like that on their team. That is, if his public defender was any good (questionable). So we have possible mitigating factors of single mother, age, class differences, the aspect of Alby waiting for so long to press charges (you can always question the victim's intentions; if he truly hadn't been an instigator of the assault, then why would he wait? and unfortunately even now the argument "he was fucking scared and processing" doesn't really work in court, just look up any rape case), and possibly the main two, i.e.
1) he was trying to protect Niall (something I can see the defender making a story of - Niall was afraid of the consequences, or even Alby himself, so he was 'confused' during his testimony);
2) look all, Ruben is so much better now! he works with kids, it would be a shame to destroy his life now (all in all, seems to work quite well in real cases of attractive white men, sooo)
Important caveat: in the year 1993, a new legal act came into force in Scotland. Long-term offenders would become eligible for parole after serving half their sentence, and were required to be released on licence once they had served two-thirds of their term. Under this act, our boy Ruben could have been sentenced to twenty, twenty-four years and get paroled after ten to twelve. i'm affected by Ruben's worms and Niall's love for him, but that's kind of insane.
NOW, let's move on to Benji. Let's gather the known facts. He is a repeat offender. He attacked his wife's lover (doesn't matter what actually happened between Benji and Mona, the only important thing is how a solicitor can spin the story). Speaking of the solicitor, he can't afford anyone top shelf. So we have a crime of passion (mitigating factor), danger to life (aggravating factor), and a repeated violent offence (major aggravating factor). If we were to be very lenient in our opinions, we could assume that Ruben wouldn't be a danger to the general public (because, again, crime of passion). Then the judge would have the option to issue a standard long-term sentence, not a life sentence. That's one scenario in which Ruben has no chance to get out as soon as he did. The second option would be a plea bargain. If the charge was reduced to assault to severe injury (in my opinion, doubtful but still in the realm of possibility, especially considering the lack of premeditation), and if the plea was entered immediately, it all would play in Ruben's favour. If he had pleaded guilty immediately (which makes sense), his sentence could have been reduced by 1/3. If the case is before the High Court, the initial sentence would be, based on my research, 6 to 9 years. Let's say everybody loves Ruben; he gets 6 years, which is then reduced by 1/3, and we are left with 4 years total. Damn, even the maximum sentence reduced to 6 still somehow works with the timeline.
So, CONCLUSION - based on my two hours of research, it is entirely possible, if questionable, to work in such a short sentence even with such a serious offence(s). The assault on Alby was less likely to be considered a crime of passion, Ruben did not plead guilty, ergo it makes sense why the sentence would be longer for that crime. Scottish law is, apparently (after the Act of 1993, which was a landmark legislation according to my beautiful wife, Wikipedia), focused on 'systematic prisoner management' with a lot of regulations concerning structured parole and such. I won't be insane and assume that Richard took that into account while setting the action in this year specifically, but then again⦠not impossible. Actually possible if you ask me at like 2 AM when I'm delusional and at my weakest. okay, thank you to those two people who lasted till the end
The term āsituationshipā is KILLING romance!
Why take something beautiful and fascinating like an undefined impractical romance and describe it with some vape-esque word like situationship. A spiritually heterosexual word. Youāre supposed to write genre defining poetry about this kind of madness, and yet āsituationshipā is the term weāre choosing to use these days. OKAY.