I worked with toddlers and pre schoolers for three years. Sometimes I accidentally slip and tell a friend to say bye to an inanimate object (āsay bye bus!ā) & occasionally they unthinkingly just do it.
Iām glad thereās a teacher version ofĀ āaccidentally called teacherĀ āmomāā
when I worked at Medieval Times occasionally I would slip in real life and call people āmy lordā
One time during family prayer, dad began: āour father who art in heaven, American Airlines, how can I help you?ā
One time my dad went to the White Castle drive-thru and the lady (who was supposed to sayĀ āWelcome to White Castle, whatās your crave?ā) asked,Ā āWelcome to White Castle, whatās your problem?ā
She apologized profusely while my dad proceeded to lose his shit laughing.
Yesterday I went to Wendyās and the girl said āWelcome to McDonaldsā and then just sighed
Somebody in the elevator asked me what floor I lived on, and I answered āplease open your books to page eightā, and we just kind of stared at each other, blinking.
i work retail full time and my script gets frequently messy - ill ask the same question twice, or say ā$2.60 is your totalā while handing back their change, or say āhow are you doing today?ā instead of āhave a good day!ā like name it ive bungled it
but anyway, this lady came thru my line buying a book and the review on the front said: āfew books are well written, fewer still are important, and this book manages to be bothā
as i handed her the bag i was trying to say āthanks, youre all setā and instead my brain mashed up the review and i said āthanks, youre importantā
there was this short pause in which i tried to figure out what the fuck id just said. she blinked and then said āoh thank you! youre important too!ā
the real kicker was one of my coworkers. when i was relating this story later his response was āat least you said something NICE. last week i accidentally combined āyoure welcomeā and āno problemā into āyoure a problemāā
one time, since I used to work as a daycare teacher with preschoolers, i was on my college campus in my gym, and someone was running in the weight room and tripped over a machine and fell, and instead of offering to help, I just stared and said, āThis is why we use our walking feet.ā we both sat there for a while until the guy nodded and said, āyeah, okay, i shouldāve done that.ā
Iāve spent a good chunk of time working in kitchens, so I still will reflexively say shit like ābehindā and ācoming aroundā as I maneuver through spaces and around people.
Which, actually, not such a bad thing; Iām a big guy and can come across as imposing pretty easily. The position calls can help defuse that, and also help avoid collisions.
Less good is the time my brain was half functional and I let slip a ācoming with a knifeā while grocery shopping. THAT took some explaining.
I work in an office and send tens of emails to customers every day. Once my mum asked me to send her a train ticket I had bought for her. I emailed her āHello mum, as agreed, please find attached the ticked you requested. Thanks, Alexā
i worked as a camp counselor, and i would have the kids tap somewhere on my legs if they needed something because im a pretty tall dude. today asked my cat if he needed something.
I have woken up in a cold sweat saying āis that for here or to go?ā
Every time a friend thanks me, and I respond with āgladlyā or āmy pleasureā, I die completely 1000% inside
I work at a plasma donation center. When processing donors, we call them by name, they walk up to the counter, and then we ask for their name and donor number. One time, instead of saying āRobertā I hollered āName and donor number!?ā into a full waiting room. Three people started announcing their names and donor numbers before we all realized that I fucked up.
In college, I was a barista at Borders (remember Borders, you guys?!) I once drove through Taco Bell on my way home after a shift. When the cashier said,Ā āokay, thatāll be $5.46!ā I cheerfully responded,Ā āDo you have a Borders rewards card?ā
I have dealt with so many difficult customers over the years that I used to angrily call my dog āSirā when I was mad at him.
My first job was at my nearest Panera, and after coming home from a ten-hour Sunday morning shift, I was exhausted; but when my mom called me to come downstairs, instead of replying in the grumpy teenagerish tone I usually would, I said in my cheeriest, fakest voice, āNot a problem at all, let me just check with my manager!ā before realizing my mistake.
my coworker went to back up the cash registers one time and she had been at customer service right before. when we finish with a customer we have to sometimes get the attention of the next person and will shout āi can get the next person in line!ā but instead of saying that she yelled āHI WHAT CAN I HELP YOU WITHā to everyone in the general area
I have told my dog āno thank youā so many times after working at a preschool
a couple of times iāve gotten stuck in a hello how are you good how are you good how are you loop with an equally tired Fred Meyerās cashier after a long shift but the best time was after a 10 to 10 post-holidays after they told me my total, I asked if they would like a bag today and after a confused few seconds they were like,Ā ānoā¦ IĀ have the bagsā
Worked in a gallery where we asked people to take off their backpacks in order not to accidentally damage paintings. So when I went to the shop later and saw a guy in the line in front of me, I told him he had to remove his backpack. He probably thought I was politely trying to rob him.
The other day they had me working with softserve and fried dough. I was burned out because I kept bouncing back and forth between the fryer and my register and these people had like, 8 things in their order. We get to the ice cream part of the order, and it comes in a bowl or cone. Instead of saying āWould you like the vanilla in a bowl or cone?ā I said āWould you like the bowl in a vanilla or cone?ā And we all stopped and had to think that through as my cart runner is staring me down like ātf are you doing?ā
I work at Hardees and we have to yell āthank youā whenever weāre told to do something because of how loud the kitchen is.
One morning, my mom hollered at me to wake up, and half-asleep me yells at full volume,
āTHANK YOUā
i work with dogs, and i have to be a bit strict with them sometimes in order to keep fights from breaking out. recently, while making tea, the kettle started boiling sooner than i wanted, so without thinking i turned around sharply, pointed my finger at it and stared it down, and said, āBad boy! You need to wait!ā needless to say i was very glad i was alone
I know Iāve reblogged this a billion times but Iāve worked retail for 8 years and these things are never not funny.
I work with horses and whenever someoneās driving too fast Iāll say stuff likeĀ āwhoaā and Iāve tried to click to a car because thatās a cue for a horse to go faster.
i work with horses too, and sometimes when itās bad weather and they canāt get turned out into the fields you have to muck their stalls while theyāre in them. usually itās not a problem, you can just kind of click at them and maybe push at them a little and they get the hint to move out of your way except one day my mom was in the kitchen and she was blocking the trash can and i had some stuff that needed pitching, so i absently just. clicked at her. for her to get out of my way. and i didnāt even realize iād done it until i was halfway back out of the kitchen and i fucking wheezed
