Samure @samure - Tumblr Blog

johnnyjoestarrelatable

you weren’t a “well behaved” child you had anxiety and were terrified of conflict

beguilewritesstuff

otterize

finally locked in my plans for post-covid

therapy -> a better job -> move into my own place -> become a pirate like a real pirate with a boat -> die at sea

gwschoolhiatus-deactivated20161

saying “sorry im out of it today” as if im not like this all the time is my fav lie

gummybearattacktheworldofdespair

oranberryblissey

This is the definition of Chaotic Evil.

alberts-infinite-abyss

sufferingforsanity

Things I Need:

1. An orgasm 2. Attention 3. $50,000

appraisedtiktoks

girlsclothes-deactivated2023030

what do people in their twentys do except go to the grocery store……….

what-grace-has-forgiveness

sometimes we lie in bed paralyzed by the knowledge that life is neither meaningful nor enjoyable

asgarddropout

and then we go get snacks

thenatsdorf

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

immaplatypus

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck. Not bad luck. I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

official-mugi

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

just-things-i-enjoy

Him face

luccorvus

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

we-are-renegade-rebels

Him face

marisatomay

it’s 2am and i’m in hysterics over this tiktok

samure

5 am for me and i dont know whats worse

achromic-red-dreams-doze-angrily

Me, at fictional characters: THIS WOULDN’T BE A PROBLEM IF YOU JUST TALKED ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

Me, in real life: if i give even the vaguest notion of my feelings to anybody i would die

justlookatthosesausages

see also

me at fictional characters: This miscommunication is RIDICULOUS, those two clearly had like, 10 different moments where they could have talked about it but they didn’t, now this situation is unrealistically overwhelming

me in real life, with anyone: I shouldn’t mention that, right? No need to be precise about that, right? Yeah that should be fine

hermitthebee

Why do I keep getting attacked on this forbidden garbage website

spacelightcat-deactivated202102

the-only-useful-lesbian

This is the only valid guy

clairenatural

samure

I havent watched this Show, how is this man not gay

crocomire-deactivated20151208

do actors get boners while making sex scenes this is one of the things i’ve wondered my whole life

missingdinosaur-deactivated2013

Idk if you actually care for the answer, but they have to put their dicks in little sleeves that attach to the leg so if they get a boner it just get held down.

princekarkat

that sounds like a garment that should be sold everywhere and considered polite if not mandatory to wear, like bras

sassyhiddles-deactivated2016031

Omg I can’t

mr-dilliams

As a guy I second this.

microbewrangler

If I have to wear a titty sling because there might be an event where it becomes chilly and my nip noops become visible through my shirt, people who have a peenor should be expected to wear a peenor sling in case there is an event where a gentle breeze occurs and their peenor becomes erect.

naamahdarling

I kind of feel like if we’re gonna do that we should go all-out and they should be IMPOSSIBLE to size, VERY expensive, flimsy, and made of uncomfortable, itchy materials.

chadjesus

And the little ones should have cute designs but the big ones only come in white,black, and tan

daftpunk-delorean

and there should be a company that sells them called Victor’s Secret, that has uncomfortably large, close-up photos of enormously-endowed male “angels” stuffed into their gorgeous little pouches spread all over every mall and TV channel, which changes societal expectations on penis size as a whole, so that men who don’t have incredibly large penises feel impossibly inadequate and feel compelled to make up for it by spending a fortune on overpriced penis pouches as a way of compensating.

Then Victor’s Secret should be sure not to actually carry any of these garments in the sizes that they advertise, so that only modestly-endowed men have the privilege of being seen in the shop, which is the type of place that simultaneously clamors for huge dicks, but refuses to cater to them in any way, leaving everyone involved vaguely uncomfortable and slightly ashamed.