"#i bear it so they dont have to line #becomes more true for bellamy than for clarke by the end" you are absolutely right
for me it’s true and it has been true from the moment she said it for the first time because as much as I love Clarke, she has this tendancy to leave many things on his shoulders and he takes it because psychologically that is what he does and has been doing since the moment his mother placed his sister in his arms when he was six-he takes the responsibility, he takes the weight.
he’s not selfish. yes he has instances in season 1 where he does stupid and seemingly selfish things but they are all still provoked by the need to stay alive for his sister, to protect her, because she is his responsibility until the major change happens where from one person (Octavia) he comes to care for all of the delinquents and Clarke which is a great transfromation and one of the nicest character arcs he’s had and it happens in just the first season.
so from the moment she leaves him in season 2 she says she bears it alone but does she really?
he stays behind. he takes care of them. he sees them every day and he has to make sure that they’re fine. whatever’s left of them anyway. he has had to deal with their pitiful looks or fearful ones (because he and Monty DID commite genocide too and everyone knows it) and he’s had to bear that weight and keep pushing.
it is because of that that he gathered all the anger, all the guilt, all the feelings he never got to truly express that let it all to boiling up in season 3 where he just refused, he goddamn refused to lose anyone else and play it nice like clarke or kane or finn have always wanted.
then in season 4 she does it again-she says bellamy im dying so you have to take care of everyone and use your head and your heart.
so really who’s bearing the weight here? (again im not shitting on clarke, she DOES bear the weight but i think people undermine what’s happening to him too).
he bears the weight. he lives with the fact that he left her to die and that he has to be rational and use his emotions and his heart because he doesn’t have her anymore so he can LEAD them and take them back home and help them survive FOR years on a goddamn metal can in the sky.
in season 6 he still bears it alongside her-trying to do better for monty but ultimately failing. and he does bear the burden of loving her too much and letting his friends’ lives be endangered because he goes on an entire goddamn crusade to save
and i think that is also one of the reasons why he fought so very hard in season 7 to get them to transcendence and to bring them peace. because by that time he bears the burden of taking care of his people absolutely on the same level as clarke if not more because clarke apparently has madi and that’s the most important whilst O is big enough to take care of herself now and no longer his responsibility (as stated in 6x11) , so i think he truly does want all of this for them.
he makes the great transformation as i said from caring about one person to caring for all people and since that transformation happened it has been so until the end.
in season 2 he went in the mountain to save them and committed genocide for them.
then stayed behind to take care of them while she left to deal with it.
then in three he fought for them and HER life and tried to save HEr but she turned her back to him for the allience and he lost MORE people so he took matters in his own hands because he came to realize the truth that is that he is absolutely alone in this and without HER
but by the end of the season she convinced him to join together to defeat ALIE and he did.
in 4 he fights for their lives AND HERS even when she doesn’t want to fight for herself or he for himself as a matter of fact because he’s so guilty after the massacre of season 3 that he doesn’t want to live but he still does want to find a save place for his people.
and then he convinces her that they can’t leave ALL people outside the bunker because it is WRONG.
(he truly comes to realize what clarke apparently hadnt though she was following in lxas footsteps -that they are all people and all worthy of love and life and wars are senseless;
remember he says “war made me a murderer, don’t let this happen to you too” to riley)
then in five he fights for his family and her and madi at first but he struggles with the fact that his sister became a dictator and he just does not want to kill her because she is at the core his biggest responsibility.
in six he fights for clarke though she left him to die and though his sister almost let him be killed in her own fighting pits, but he does it, neglecting his family of 5 years and wanting to do better for monty.
in seven he wants them all to see wha the saw and to believe what he believed and get them
what they’ve been striving for from season 1. peace. just that. they never wanted war with the grounders, they wanted to get to the sea and live there
but he is mocked, nobody believes him and then when she kills him they say-welp yeah but it wasn’t bellamy which is the biggest bs of them all.
when she did stupid senseless things like kill him or smash helmets without ways out of planets or acting irrational and saying transcedence aint real until it happened right before her, or shooting cadogan during the final test and dooming humanity or overall being a complete selfish person in that entire season.
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