Alcohol and Vaporwave

Lauren / 23 / Canada

[blossomedsloth]

No but seriously imagine it:

You’re seeing fall out boy on a concert. Everyone is having a great time. Fall out boy seem a little excited. “We have a surprise for you guys.” Partick says. All of a sudden P!ATD come out and start singing “this is gospel.” When Brendon gets to the chorus, someone else starts singing… “When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band.” Lights flash everywhere, and you see FOB singing “this is gospel” along with P!ATD, while MCR is singing “Black parade”. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn’t get any better, Dan and Phil walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag.

[cephalophor]

The first funny bitch was Cain, who straight up lied to God after killing his brother.

[nakedinasnowsuit]

God: where’s Abel?

Cain: fuck if I know??? I’m not in charge of him

[thewitchway]

It is TRAGIC that you can’t read this in the original Hebrew.

God:  Where’s the Sheepkeeper?

Cain: Do I LOOK like a Brotherkeeper? 

[careful-crow]

God: hey where’s Abel???

Cain:

[adventuretfox]

He killed his yonger brother in cold blood because he was jealous of him. There is in no way anything funny about this. No hesitation just poped a rock over his turned head, droped his body over the edged and tried to lie to god about what he did. FUCK YALL CRAZIES!!!

[funkyness]

oh are those the receipts, Cain is problematic now?

[bprinny]

Cainceled 

[kraetys]

This post gets worse every reblog

[this-account-is-a-mistake]

yet im not Abel to scroll past

[schmuckered]

This post hit me like a rock to the head

[nikkoliferous]

This is the quality content that keeps me on Tumblr

[sambuchito]

every time I fumble w my phone’s charger cable I think about emailing steven moffat a pipe bomb

[o-lanterns]

cmon child safety lid you know it's me

[sparrow-va]

[balthazarslostlibrary]

Saw a photo of a pigmy seahorse for the first time and it looks like the personification of illness

[balthazarslostlibrary]

World’s most sick man

[totopopopo]

I have never met a creature as stupid as a customer in a store

[pointnclick]

those posts online that are like sometimes it’s ok to be tired and do nothing all day it’s self care were so damaging to me when i was like depressed asf and 20. sometimes you just gotta get up and do shit and you’ll feel less tired afterwards cuz you don’t have 100000 neglected chores and obligations slowly debuffing you and draining all your chakras. like sometimes you (ME) just gotta suck it up. not to sound like my dad but it’s true.

[vympr]

Scientist bakes sourdough bread with yeast derived from 4500 year old Egyptian pottery

i'm losing my mind @ this thread......historie......

[sassytail]

also please note that this scientist is in fact the retired man who invented the xbox.

[brunhiddensmusings]

oh fuck i listened to a podcast that was interviewing him and the process he went through to make this bread, ologies with allie ward like he went through full on clean room levels of prep to ensure that this was 100% yeast from old egypt and had to bend over backwards to ensure everything involved was uncontaminated he then revealed that the original xbox logo...

is a sourdough boule

[redrook]

[rslashrats]

i think some of you need to eat a slice of cheesecake and listen to ambient rain noises ten hours

[rattyzombie]

I want you to know I did this exact thing yesterday and it was so surreal seeing this post I thought I wrote it in my sleep

[rslashrats]

you are one of my sims

[kaijuno]

🤔

[kaijuno]

other ppl have been sending me images of this all day 

[the-evening-star-9]

[brokentripod]

they found the culprit and turned their cock back one hour

[sludgewizard666]

“what that mouth do” speak falsehoods mostly, but lately i’ve also been really getting into blaspheming before god,

[jesterjamz]

on a dark & stormy night, there was a creature . & you’re never going to beleive what it did next

[jesterjamz]

it creached

[delmondo]

[evilwizard]

if this were my baby skull i would gild it with gold and put it on the head of a cane and walk around with it, and all the buttons on my waistcoat would be my gold-covered baby teeth. and they would call me golden skeleton baby man. not that you care

[ibuprofengirl]

btw there should be Drink Stores and they should be open 24/7 and they should have Every Drink. coffee tea boba lemonade etc. and they should be on every street every 300 meters. bc girls need drinks

[deepspacepirate]

One of my favorite tropes is post apocalyptic towns being named after dilapidated signs with missing letters, like Novac (no vacancy) and Eaden (dead end). There’s something inexplicable about it

[togepipi]

catch me in the city of fre shavaca do

[anexperimentallife]

[gardenergremlin]

It’s called ‘being able to see the corpse’

[burning-cathedrals-deactivated2]

So if I put you in an L-shaped swimming pool, and you knew there was a corpse around the corner, you'd be fine?

[mwagneto]

loving the implication that I'm a little animal and you're a scientist putting me into various bodies of water to test my corpse:water ratio tolerance

[ellacalm]

The sound of heavy rain while you are in bed.

[visionaryness]

SHAUN

[alsedes]

SHAAAAAAUUUN