A Scaly Blog @scaleypals-blog - Tumblr Blog

biggest hetero lie i’ve been told: fighting is a part of a healthy romantic relationship

lilbittydragon-deactivated20241

Disagreements are a part of every healthy relationship. Having bad days when you’re not your best self is a part of every healthy relationship. Fighting, disrespect, and insults? Those are not healthy at all.

scrumptiousgalaxychild

NO OKAY THIS IS SO FUCKING TRUE. THIS BOILS MY GODDAMN BLOOD.

STORY TIME.

When I was 16 I had recently moved, and was attending a new school. About half-way through the school year, I started dating a guy I was friends with. He and I got on REALLY well. Like yeah we had disagreements and shit, but we always, ALWAYS talked about it and discussed our feelings and why things were making us upset. Every. Single. Time. We had a good system. And when we had disagreements we resolved them immediately. Otherwise we got along SO WELL. It was great I was really freaking happy and he was too!

About six months into my relationship, people, mostly my family members, commented about how WELL we got along…a l m o s t like it was a bad thing. I didn’t really think about it though, too involved in my own brain.

Skip ahead, to about a year-ish in. Friends of mine would sometimes get into fights with their significant others and they’d tell me ALL about it and I’m a good friend so I’d listen and try to give advice. Except I never had anything when they’d ask me, “Oh well what do you do when you and J get into fights??”

And I never had an answer other than “Well we don’t fight.”

And they never believed me. Or worse they’d insist that was UNHEALTHY. “Fighting is healthy, it lets out tension building up! You just need to sometimes!”

I never, EVER EVER felt comfortable with that, and I’d shrug it off and insist we didn’t NEED to fight. Our relationship was ALREADY healthy, especially because of the way we handled disagreements. People never listened and insisted there was something wrong, whether out-right stating it or hinting at it.

Even my best friend insisted that fighting was healthy, and I listened to her on nearly everything. Except for that. I didn’t budge for anyone.

DO NOT LET PEOPLE FOOL YOU. FIGHTING IS NOT HEALTHY. DISAGREEMENTS ARE. BAD DAYS ARE OKAY. LEGITIMATE SCREAMING AND GOD FORBID PHYSICAL VIOLENCE IS. NOT. OKAY!!!

Don’t be fooled guys, please. :/

psychabuse101

Talking to one another through disagreements is the ONLY healthy way to handle disagreements in a relationship. Verbal, physical and psychological violence is NEVER healthy.

butterflyinthewell

^ All of this!

gloomydude-deactivated20150419

son-of-rap-bear

It doesn’t end there:

funimationentertainment

another addition

cs-inactive1-deactivated2020060

do you ever just like. feel unbelievably proud of someone you’d never even heard of previously

eroscestlavie

oh my god

mental-health-stuff

character development

theexoticvet-deactivated2022070

Animals are not spiteful. They do not hold grudges or punish owners for something they did. I see far too many cats that pee outside of the box “out of spite” or to “get back” at owners. This morning I saw a dog that according to the owner was vomiting on the carpet because he was “angry he didn’t get to go to the beach”. These are medical conditions that require immediate attention. Your cat isn’t mad at you, he’s sick. Please don’t get angry at your pets or continue to let the behaviors occur. The longer you wait to bring them in, the more serious and expensive issues become.

despazito

richkidsandfakefriends-deactiva

firesigh-deactivated20181118

this is the only context i’ll allow country music bc this video is possibly the gayest and most romantic one i’ve seen in my eighteen years on this earth

mousedear

watch every second of this

micdotcom

Detroit teachers stage “sickout” over horrible conditions, force schools to close

Eighty-eight of Detroit’s 97 public schools were closed Wednesday when teachers participated in a districtwide “sickout” to push for demands related to school conditions and their rights as employees. The protests align with a very high profile visitor in Detroit.

kingrudegyalchina

Omg

chamonix-gabi

PLEASE continue to share images like this. White people refuse to acknowledge the reality of others until it’s shoved in their faces.

sipnsyphe

What’s crazy is it’s been like this since I was a child and prolly even before that.. My mother is a DPS school teacher and ain’t much changed, if anything things have gotten worse. She’s been buying school supplies for her students for as long as I can remember.

softchubbypuppy

View this post on Instagram

archiemcphee

segweg

Milosav Druckmüller is, hands down, the greatest eclipse photographer in the world. Fact.

i literally just teared up this is so amazing and gorgeous and surreal wow

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

gonna say this one last time... moon and sun aren't lesbians

the MOON is a lesbian and she’s in a relationship w the OCEAN! the sun is gay, he’s a bear, and the solar eclipse is wlw/mlm solidarity!!!

tamascotchi-deactivated20190101

theres no solidarity in the notes on this post & youre all banned

meme-hole-2-blog

This may just be the cutest thing i’ve ever watched omg

bisexualspongebob

shitbrainratface

@themister0000 this is the best one

punkkidmakingpizzas

“You didn’t think you had to cook noodles”

racefaker

This is how lesbian arguments usually play out

the-lemon-is-in-play

#‘you’re not in trouble you’re my wife’ just cleared my skin and watered my crops and murdered woody allen

systematicsystems

A lot of people assume that blacking out and/or losing time is a very prominent, sudden thing where you’ll wake up in a new environment and *know* it’s happened. And don’t get me wrong it can be like that, but a lot of times it’s… not.

A lot of times it’s going to listen to music and there being 10 new songs on your playlist It’s going to grab a dessert or food only to find it’s gone It’s waking up in the morning and finding your phone half way across the room, not charged It’s texting things you don’t remember and didn’t mean to people in your life It’s never being able to find things again because they’ve been placed somewhere else. It’s small breakdowns because it’s so frustrating sometimes and just…. not knowing

mad-dyspunktional

Here’s your reminder...

That cats allowed free-roam of the outdoors have an average lifespan of 5 - 7 years while cats who are kept indoors and/or only allowed safe outdoor enrichment live an average of 15 - 17 years.

catsindoors

This post started a discussion on where these numbers come from. It’s generally agreed that free-roaming cats live shorter lives than indoor cats, but ‘by how much’ seems to vary.

Usually I cite Vet Info, which says 2-3 years less for owned free-roaming cats and 2-5 years total for stray or feral cats. The Humane Society says free-roaming cats live less than 5 years, and doesn’t make a distinction between owned or unowned, but the HSUS is known for being a bit radical so I’m wary of them as a source. The American Bird Conservancy cites the same numbers as the Humane Society.

OP provided PetMD, which lists an average of 7 years for free-roaming cats, but again doesn’t make the distinction between owned and unowned. We return to the 2-5 years lifespan with Dr. Jean Hofve and Cat Time.

I still can’t find a study, or original source for any of these numbers. I did find this interesting study regarding the longevity of cats in the United Kingdom, though, and although it unfortunately does not consider indoor vs. outdoor it’s interesting to see the leading cause of death for cats in the UK is trauma given how commonplace free-roaming cats are there.

lunationgeckos

I am extremely biased against outdoor cats, both from childhood and rescue. People dropping ‘my cat lived to 22 and it had access to outdoors’, that’s great and all. My youth was a rainbow of hearing about everyone else’s cats dying outside, wrapped in ‘not our fault’ reasoning.

I’m cutting this because it’s kind of gory.

Keep reading

lunationgeckos

tylers-baby - Tell that to my uncle’s cats who have all lived into their 20s and who have all been allowed to roam outdoors as well as indoors

I would tell them. And I’d tell them, so glad you guys beat the odds and no one had to hear about you guys freaking dying like I’ve gotten to hear from other friends, family and acquaintances my entire life.

pastrygeckos

My old cat got hit by a car during the night and we found her, stiff, in the driveway and it was one of the worst experiences in my life because it was 100% my own fault. I grew up with “cats need to go outside” but after that I changed my mind. My boyfriend’s old cat was deliberately poisoned by some kids, and he too changed his mind about letting cats outside after that. It’s a shame that a lot of the time, a death has to happen before people open their eyes and that’s why we get passionate when it comes to talking about it, because we want to keep the death from happening.

My cat now only ever goes outside on a leash along with us so we can make sure nothing happens to her. Sometimes she slips out the door unnoticed when my bf’s parents go outside to smoke and it grinds me to no end. Sure she’s been fine the few times it’s happened so far but what if that one time she does get out alone, something startles her and she runs out into the street and gets hit by a car? Or she gets into a fight with another cat and runs off? Or she eats lilies? Or she gets attacked by a fox? Or some kids decide it’d be funny to shoot her with a BB gun?

What’s the point in taking the risk

yeehaw-my-guys

We used to let our cats out. They would bring us “presents” almost daily and ALWAYS came back. And then one day one didn’t. We never found his body so we like to think that he found a nice home but in reality he is probably dead and his body decayed and mangled from whatever took his life. Our cats now are indoor only and loving life. I don’t have to worry about them and they don’t need to worry either. Please keep your cats indoors!

$fractiousrvt blog's avatar$

fractiousrvt

This was my foster kitten Yam.

She was one of my favorite fosters

She had a very unique face, and a quiet, sweet personality.

Yam’s adopter let her be an indoor-outdoor kitty.

Yam was brought in having been hit by car just a little over a year later. I raised this kitten from a day old. And her adopter let her be killed at a year old.

equikage

Comparison gifpost.

First row shows shut down dogs, trained to heel using aversive methods. Tucked tails, hunched posture, low energy, low heads, think you can see some lip licking in that 2nd one.

Second row show a dog trained by Jenny Gould with positive reinforcement. Very energetic, pricked ears, wagging tail, head up and focused on the handler.

Third row is Clinton Anderson (who trains exclusively using aversive methods) working with his horse Mindy. You can see pinned ears, lip licking, clamped tail. There is irritable, anxious and passive body language depending on the point in the video.

Fourth row is Mint, trained by Shawna Karrasch with positive reinforcement. Note the presence of real positive body language. Pricked ears, head toss, relaxed tail.

Obviously I have an agenda re: encouraging the use of positive reinforcement, and discouraging the use of negative reinforcement and punishment, but mostly this gifset is intended to make it obvious that what we think of as ‘relaxed’ or ‘submissive’ body language can actually be a sign of a shut down animal that has learned not to react, or react only when made to. A horse is not relaxed just because they aren’t reacting. A horse is not happy just because they aren’t actively fighting. Horses can be taught to shut down just as easily as dogs, and typically, they are. The next time you watch a training video, watch for the quiet signs of stress (tight mouth, whale eye, clamped or thrashing tail, pinned ears, lip licking). You’ll be surprised how many ‘calm’ or ‘relaxed’ horses are exactly the opposite.