Roundworld adventures @scandalinborogravia - Tumblr Blog

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depsidase

brightlotusmoon

isuggestkillingyourself

tactfulsaboteur

psybomb

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

isuggestkillingyourself

tactfulsaboteur

psybomb

Every time I see that last pic, I have to note that the funniest line is the one immediately after the highlight

brucesterling

*The oligarchy has brought this ill-will and deep suspicion on itself. If they sold jars of mustard it would be "Pervert Mustard"

veilwaltz

Glen Martin Taylor, “but i’m safe in here.”

xylophonetangerine

definitely-not-an-alb

Dat Ding mit dem 'Angriff auf uns alle'-Geschwafel ist immer, dass ich bei konsistent pro-Queeren, straighten Politiker*innen null Probleme mit so einer Formulierung hätte; die queere Community ist kein Verein, wo man erst reindarf, wenn man einen Zettel ausgefüllt und im Vereinsbüro vorbeigebracht hat und z. B. straighte Angehörige, Freunde und Allies sind regelmäßig als Teil der Gemeinschaft 'mitgemeint'. Aber das ist ja nicht was hier passiert und passiert ist. Ein queerphober Mensch hat queere Menschen angegriffen und ermordet, direkt neben dem Denkmal für die homosexuellen Opfer des Holocausts, und einer der queerphobsten Politiker gerade in einem hohen Amt in Deutschland denkt, das sei ein Angriff 'auf uns alle'. Wer sind 'wir alle'? Welche Gruppe umschließt im Denken von Merz sowohl die queere Community als auch ihn ein? Queer ist er ja selbst nicht, als Ally wollen weder wir ihn noch er sich bezeichnen. Feminist ist der Mann bei bestem Willen nicht, wenn man hier weitergreifen will, und nicht mal auf individualistischen Liberalismus im weiteren Sinne steht er wirklich. Und mit der Demokratie hat es Herr Scheiß-Auf-Die-Brandmauer-Scheiß-Auf-Die-Öffentliche-Meinung-Scheiß-Auf-Linke-Volksabstimmungen auch nicht so wirklich. Wer ist dieses 'Wir' das hier angegriffen wurde? Deutsche? Weiße? Christen? Konservative? Der CSD ist ideologisch liberal-progressiv, anti-faschistisch, anti-rassistisch, inklusiv, multikulturell und international, besonders in Berlin, und Teil einer internationalen Kultur- und Menschenrechtsbewegung.

Das Problem mit der Formulierung ist nicht, dass Merz nicht selbst queer ist, es ist imo überhaupt kein Problem der demographischen Zugehörigkeit, sondern der ideologischen Gesinnung. Merz ist ideologisch näher am Attentäter positioniert als an uns, und deshalb sollte er die Fresse halten, statt zu versuchen, diesen Angriff für seine rassistischen, islamophoben Zwecke zu instrumentalisieren.

beholdthelastparagraph

Dazu kommt noch, wie sehr dieses "wir alle" und der dahinterstehende Gedanke nun instrumentalisiert wird, um eine Art faux-besorgte pseudo-Zugehörigkeit zwischen objekiv homophoben Menschen und ihren queeren Angehörigen/Kollegen/sonstigen in ihrem Leben vertretenen Menschen zu schaffen.

Ich habe jetzt schon auf einer Familienfeier "besorgte" Kommentare von irgendwelchen homophoben alten Schabracken (ja ja ja, keine politisch korrekte Bezeichnung, erlaubt mir kurz meinen feministischen Ausfall) bekommen, und man merkt hinter dieser Sorge so eine enorme, nur ganz dünn verschleierte FREUDE. Da ist richtig Schadenfreude dabei. Endlich ist "es" passiert, endlich kann man diesen woken queeren linksgrünversifften blauhaarigen Leuten mal reinwürgen, dass man mit seinem Rassimus halt doch "Recht hatte". Es wird fehlerhafterweise behandelt wie so ein "gotcha"-Moment: Es geht nicht um Sorge oder Fürsorge für die queere Community (Gott weiß, die Hölle würde zufrieren, ehe meine Großtanten meine Partnerin als eine reale gleichwertige romantische Bezugsperson anerkennen), sondern um eine Art doppelte Schmerzzufügung: Die überglückliche Schadenfreude ("endlich ist's passiert!") kombiniert mit einer Art Freude an dem zusätzlichen Schmerz, den man auslösen kann, indem man vor einer progressiven Person rassistisch ist und dabei denkt, dass sie jetzt wirklich nichts mehr dagegen sagen kann. "Endlich ist es passiert" kombiniert mit "Endlich bist du mundtot". Was natürlich alles Nonsens ist, aber mein Gott, regt es mich jetzt schon auf.

mapsontheweb

Full isometric game map of Portal 1 video game.

by VGCartography

vgcartography

decided to make a tumblr blog when someone pointed out my Portal map has nearly 9k impressions on here from a maps account, my original post had like 16. maybe there’s more of an audience to discover here.

gmbencompetence

We need to have a nomination for “Stupidest thing Tumblr.com has ever believed” and just move into an official Top 10 List.

For my nominations, I’m putting up:

If you eat a chocolate bar a very specific way, you will break physics and get infinite chocolate.

It is impossible that you spelled “Berenstain Bears” wrong and is, instead, more likely that the universe fractured into separate, overlapping realities in the last 20 years.

I can’t decide which is more beautiful. It’s why we need a vote.

jupiterjunebug

this is a picture of the human brain at the moment of death. tragic and beautiful

gmbencompetence

Fuck. That is a damn good nomination.

thisisdefinitelyacreativename

if you close your eyes when the train hits your brain will assume you are dead. Some find this comforting.

gmbencompetence

We’re getting into the good ones now. This is some classic Tumblr.

turtle-powered

Two old favourites:

“Bitch, That’s the Tubby Custard Machine” (http://imgur.com/gallery/IObQF)

and the horse dildo that was passed off as someone’s arm. (http://abakkus.tumblr.com/post/48958415162)

gmbencompetence

This is rapidly becoming a master post of ignorances and I could not possibly be happier.

analienorsutin

Rare blue watermelon

sickofimmortality

That disease where you get purple eyes, no period, and no body hair

akiraita

How have we gone this far without anyone mentioning the bird in the chocolate fountain

unicornfan

soap makes water molecules smaller

elphabaoftheopera

I nominate the “we are killing the earth” picture of the earth in comparison from 1978 to 2012

bisexualwario

the dog with the slice of ham on its face that everyone thought was a gigantic burn scar

adataraxia

“Tequila is the only alcohol thats not a depressant so you can drink as much of it as you like”

softurl

sasukehateblog

that post with the picture of the joker without makeup and people thinking it was a real person and defending him

painisthecleanser

that photo of voldemort being passed off as an aborted fetus

stankyleg-deactivated2918973

The two way mirror

rinlockhart

“listen here, cumslut.”

tenaflyviper

I can’t believe you guys forgot someone trying to pass off a picture of the inside of a fig as a microscopic view of the inside of a vagina.

nyokoko

I can’t believe I was on Tumblr for every single one of these posts.

chromaticabrasions

all the links on this post are broken and some arent given so heres a compilation of links for the stupidest things tumblr has believed (i tried to find the og post for most of these but some of them are posts/articles about said posts)

infinite chocolate hack

berensta/ein bears (mandela effect)

mri scan walking dead gif

train gif brain thinks you died

tubby custard machine

horse dildo

moonmelon (and variations)

alexandria’s genisis

bird chocolate fountain og post

soap shrinks water molecules

we are killing the earth

ham on dog

tequila isnt a depressant

earth is lumpy

joker without makeup

voldemort fetus

two way mirror og post

fig vagina

carillonghorn

oldbookshop

STAR CITY x Reductress Headlines

tanoraqui

that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.

and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.

tanoraqui

Gandalf: *spittake*

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: That’s, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?

tanoraqui

Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter.

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Elrond: No fucking shit.

tanoraqui

Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know it’s nearly mating season. but we have a situation again

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]

avelera

I mean, given that Tolkien retconned “The Hobbit” so Bilbo’s little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kid’s book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??

crazy-pages

You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didn’t immediately raise the alarm about Bilbo’s ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angel’s serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG “ pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifact”. And then. AND THEN! One day he’s like, “hey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journey”. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming “nottheoneringnottheoneringnottheonering” while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one- “It’s this plain gold ring that’s very precious to me and turns me invisible!”

AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CAN’T REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURON’S RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN

countesskittymeow

@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P

shewhodoesnotexist

I’ve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D

Next you’ll be telling me Sting is Gurthang

abrownpanther

Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgoth’s crown

queenofthequillandink

“Average Hobbit finds at least one world war inspiring artifact when on a journey” statistic inaccurate. The Spiders Took Family, who find a world war inspiring artifact every five feet they step outside the Shire, were outliers and should not have been counted.

sunderwight

Bilbo: I’m not a burglar I wouldn’t even know how to be!

Also Bilbo: *trips and grabs seven legendary artifacts on the way down*

setulose

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

setulose

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

setulose

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

offonaherosjourney

I like to think that since Grace is a schoolteacher who never swears and Rocky is an engineer who does swear (a lot, I like to believe), and neither of them are translators/linguists and they were mostly focused on getting the science vocabulary right, that means that a few years later, a hypothetical first (technically second) contact message from Erid to Earth might sound to us something like: "Well, hello there, human friends of Earth! Golly, those astrophage sure were some pesky little buggers, right? We noticed your sun has started to regain its luminosity so that means our intergalactic group project was a success for both of our planets! Top marks! Golden star sticker! Smiley face sticker! Anyway, now that that little pickle is over, we'd love to remain in contact with you! Kind regards, the people of Erid". Meanwhile, if humans were the ones to send a first (technically second) contact message to Eridians, it might sound to them like "Hey, 'sup, fuckers. We the motherfucking humans of Earth are fucking ecstatic to know our badass Eridian neighbors also managed to deal with the $*%€$#@*& astrophage crisis. I shit you not, for a while things here were a bit [thirty seconds of unairable audio], but now that that clusterfuck is over we'd love to keep in touch with you! Ok, byeee bitches, xoxo humanity"