schmok || 29 (they/them, it/its | es/ihm, sie/ihre) ☕ ko-fi [ Icon ID: Lily James as Pamela Anderson. She's wearing a black leather corset and trousers. She's holding her left palm towards the camera. ]
“What does he know about Batman” the crowd replies and resumes booing. Bruce Wayne discreetly leaves the room. In an unrelated turn of events, a voice speaks from above. “She’s right,” I hear. There crashing through the skylight: Batman.
all i can think about right now is jon and tim being forced to go to the same meditation-as-physical-and-emotional-therapy yoga class after s1 finale and martin being furious that he didn’t qualify as traumatized enough for it
tim: jon doesn’t seem like the type of guy to own yoga pants, but you’d be surprised. they might be from when he was in undergrad or something, though, because hoo boy! i don’t know how he bends the way he does in clothes that tight.
martin: [thinking about tearing tim’s skin off with his teeth]
a pencil drawing of a crying Luo Binghe holding up a small worm with a hair crown. he's yelling "Shizun! you're so beautiful! Don't worry, this Binghe will find a way to be a worm too!"
a pencil drawing of Shen Qingqiu as a worm (a worm with angry eyebrows and a hair(?) piece.) he's wrapped around a fan and using it to whack Luo Binghe as a worm (a worm that's crying with a demon zuiyin.) Worm Qingqiu is saying "Binghe! We were supposed to both be HUMAN!" Luo Wormhe sadly says "sorry Shizun..." End ID]
It's Aang! Sokka let me borrow Hawky. Please feed him before sending him back.
I'm writing to ask if it's okay for me to drop by. Except I'll probably be there by the time you get this, because Appa flies faster than Hawky. Still, it's polite to ask!
Write back (or don't.)
Hot regards
Your friend Aang
-
Revered Avatar Aang
Hawky arrived two hours after you left. Never send me "hot regards" again. Like I keep telling you, language has changed in the past 100 years. It doesn't mean what you think. Future historians will think we were having an affair.
It's always okay to drop by. Hawky has been fed.
May your inner fire warm you (write that down somewhere)
Fire Lord Zuko
2.
Hi
need 3 fire benders (zappy) + few construction workers + a lot of copper
Delivr to harbor
sokka
-
Honorable tribesman Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe, son of Chief Hakoda, Hero of the 100 Year War
No.
May your inner fire warm you
Fire Lord Zuko
-
Dear Jerk Lord of the Jerk Nation, Master Jerkbender and All-Around Jerk
quit being stingy and send me what i need. seriously. the fate of your nation is at stake. LOOK:
[drawing of two pickles, a stick figure and waves]
Hot regards
Sokka
-
Sokka
Your drawing makes no sense. I'm writing a law which bans you from owning a messenger hawk.
I found you three volunteer firebenders who can lightningbend. They'll be there in a week with four carts of copper. If you need construction workers, beg Toph, don't bother me.
Feed Hawky better. He's malnourished, he keeps begging me for more food.
And don't do that.
Fire Lord Zuko
3.
Dear Honorless Usurper
My, how the time flies. It seems as if it was only yesterday that I was supposed to be crowned Fire Lord, and here we are, celebrating the first full year of your doomed reign. I salute you.
Know this: you won't know peace for long. I have entered into an alliance with Admiral Noboru. He is a true patriot and has kindly offered me three ships and 2000 men to retake the throne. He has also generously offered to serve as my consort, "despite my mental deficiency."
I am writing as a courtesy, as it is obvious that the throne will soon be mine. I might even let you live.
May Agni's light shine on you*
Azula
Fire Lord-in-exile
[* common benediction for the dead during Fire Lord Zuko's reign]
-
Dear Sister
Thank you for writing. I spoke with Noboru. I told him that I was allowing an Agni Kai and that you were on your way.
Noboru has fled the country. He gifted you his whole estate, see the enclosed list. He said to tell you he's sorry and not to come after him.
Please come visit any time. I hope your healing is going well.
May your inner fire warm you
Your brother Zuko
[enclosed: A list of assets including a home in the 5th Province, a vacation home on Ember Island, 20 acres of farmland, a substantial amount of gold and silver and assorted property]
4.
Zuko
this is the worst copper i've ever seen??? i want a refund. you're the worst copper merchant ever.
sokka
-
Sokka
You didn't even pay for the copper. I'm not giving you a refund. And I'm not a copper merchant. I didn't even buy it, somebody else did. What's wrong with it?
I can send you more if you need?
Fire Lord Zuko
-
Sokka
I sent you two more carts of copper. This is the best copper we have, so if it's not good enough, you can get your own and stop mooching off of me.
Fire Lord Zuko
5.
[on a thin sheet of metal]
Sparky! Earth Rumble 8 is two weeks from now. I'm coming to pick you up in the morning two days before.
Check it out: I can write now. Katara helped me with the characters but I've got it now. Hawky isn't strong enough to carry these, but Katara's dad is letting me borrow Seabreeze.
It's TOPH.
-
Dear Lady Beifong
You can't just come pick me up! I'm the Fire Lord. Two weeks isn't enough time for me to arrange days off.
I'd like to come watch you knock some heads, but I can't. Sorry.
Feed Seabreeze. Seriously. What's wrong with you people? Every bird you send me is starving.
May your inner fire warm you
Fire Lord Zuko
-
[on a thin sheet of metal]
Sparky. Thanks for sending me a sheet of paper but my privy is stocked. I can guess what it says though: "I can't go I'm so busy and I'm too much of a wimp to clear my schedule"
I'm coming to pick you up. Tell your guards they can either get out of my way or get CRUSHED. It's gonna be fun.
It's TOPH.
-
A painting of Fire Lord Zuko, Lady Beifong, Master Katara, Avatar Aang, Suki of Kyoshi Island and Sokka of the Southern Water Tribe. Lady Beifong is sitting on the Fire Lord's shoulders, holding up a decorative belt and smiling widely.
[ID: A comic featuring Sokka, Katara, and Zuko from Avatar the Last Airbender.
“Hm…It looks like updog in here,” Sokka says, with his hands on his hips. In the background, an exasperated Katara rolls her eyes with crossed arms. A caption pointing to her says she has heard this a thousand times.
“What’s Updog?” A confused Zuko asks.
Sokka turns around, extremely excited and grinning.
The bonus panel includes a happy chibi Zuko, smiling and blushing. “I’m good, thanks for asking,” he says.
Sokka bends over, dejected that the joke went over Zuko’s head. /End ID.]
in the Egyptian wing of the museum and my boyfriend is like "what are all the time periods of ancient Egypt" and I'm like predynastic, early dynastic, old kingdom which is when the pyramids were built, first intermediate, middle kingdom, second intermediate, new kingdom which includes amarna period and yugioh, third intermediate, and then all the late period stuff and macedonian and roman eras. and he's like run that by me one more time
[ID: A photo of two people both wearing short sleeved shirts and staring at the front. The person on the right sits at a table with their right arm out on the table. The person on the left has taken their arms out of their sleeves so that their sleeves are empty but their hands instead extend out of the bottom of their shirt and holds the right person's arm. Their legs are missing, making it look as if the left person is a human-fleshed bird perched on the right person's arm. /End ID]
The other night husband and I were watching a documentary about the yeti where they were doing DNA analysis of samples of supposed yeti fur, and every one of them came back as bears.
Anyway, the next night we watched a thing about some pig man who is supposed to live in Vermont. People said it had claws and a pig nose but walked upright like a man. Now, I happen to know that sideshows used to shave bears and present them as pig men. So every piece of evidence they gave of this monster sounds to me like a bear with mange.
So now the running joke in our house is that everything is bears. Aliens? Bears. Loch Ness monster? Bear. Every cryptozoological mystery is just a very crafty bear.
Bears. They’re everywhere. Be wary. Anyone or anything could be a bear.
As the OP of this post, I’m going to threaten that if this gets to one million notes by the 10 year anniversary on 1 June 2026, one year from today, I will get a lower back tattoo of the loch ness bear monster.
[First image shows the silhouette of a long-necked loch ness monster in the water.
Second image shows the same shape, but we can now see that it’s made of at least ten bears packed together. The ‘neck’ is a bear sitting up, holding another bear on it’s shoulders. The top bear is arching and holding it’s arms to the side to form a 'head’.
Final image is tags, saying, “#every time I see this post it kills me #bc the art makes sense the monster would be big so it would take a lot of bears #but every time i see the silhouette #i just think of a bear sticking one arm out of the water”.
[ID: comic of a squirrel digging a hole, saying: "I am in the yard, straight up "lorking for it," and by "it," haha, well... let's just say. My peanudts (misspelling of peanuts)." The squirrel has a smug expression before it holds up an acorn. End ID.]
[ID: animated gif of cartoon Alice in wonderland falling down and looking around. Text over gif says Alice fell down the rabbit hole May 4th, 1865. /End ID]
