Cleanin' up the city since '030

[hyrude]

[kelanie12]

[commander-ledi]

im so sowwy

[amaskdescribingamask-deactivate]

This is more punk than the whole of punk history.

[soundsof71]

I’ll tell you what’s ferocious. Freddie’s comeback to Sid calling him “Freddie Platinum” when they were recording down the hall from each other at London’s Wessex Studios (Queen for News of the World, Pistols for Bollocks).

Sid Vicious made the mistake one day of bursting into Queen’s control room and antagonizing their frontman. “Have you succeeded in bringing ballet to the masses, then?” he sneered. “Oh, yes, Simon Ferocious,” Mercury replied. “We’re trying our best, dear.” 

Then, according to Queen biographer Daniel Nester, Freddie rose from his chair and began to playfully flick the safety pins displayed on the front of Sid’s leather jacket. “Tell me,” he asked, “did you arrange these pins just so?” When Sid stepped forward in an attempt to intimidate Freddie, the singer simply pushed him backwards and inquired, “What are you going to do about it?” Sid immediately backed down. [x]

[andthentheywilleatthestars]

Freddie Mercury may very well have had the biggest dick energy of anyone who ever lived

[racingbarakarts]

I used to have geese so here’s a tip for everyone:

If a goose is attacking you, don’t run. No matter what, stand your ground. They can fly but when they’re mad, they don’t usually try to fly. Hold your hands in front of you, ready to grasp. When the goose gets close, grab it by the neck bit closest to the head and squeeze. Not tight enough to choke the goose, but tight enough so they can’t break free. You can hold them until they calm down or just do the next step right away. The next step is literally just to chuck them as far as possible and run for your life. It makes the goose know you’re in charge and you have a better chance of getting away. Trust me I’ve done this so many times that I’ve lost count

[myblogisnotinteresting]

I can’t tell if this is a shitpost or actual advice. But I do know geese are the fucking worst.

[racingbarakarts]

Actual advice! Just yeet a goose

[61below]

Yeet the geese

[nottodaylogic]

YEESE

[kayvsworld]

my body, tearfully: when sleep???

me: my dude we just woke up!! It’s time for wakefulness and doing things and Productivity

my body, weeping: but???? when sleep?????

[tedtheodorelogan]

[angelrecipe-deactivated20180602]

Give me a heartwarming Christmas movie about Satan traveling around the world every Christmas to deliver presents to all the young kids and kids with learning disorders and disabilities who misspell “Santa” on their Christmas letters every year

[eccentricmisseclectic]

And Santa’s all like, “You know, I can handle a few spelling mistakes, I got this,” and Lucifer is like “They’re addressed to me, fuck off, I’m doing it.”

[incurablenecromantic]

Lucifer being protective of his fanmail is ceaselessly entertaining.

[exeggutor-deactivated20171218]

We like to think the internet within the past half decade or so has honed shitposting down to a science but racing horse names have us beat by decades

[zoreta]

This is a case of necessity is the mother of invention- for both race horses and purebred show animals, every.single.animal. needs to have a unique name for record keeping purposes. Imagine trying to come up with a cool username if you aren’t allowed to add random numbers and underscores- only pronounceable words. Now imagine that this website has had tens of millions of users, and even after someone leaves the site their username can never be recycled. WELCOME TO PEDIGREE SHITPOST BINGO

[steelplatedhearts]

Pedigree Shitpost Bingo would make a great horse name

[manuscripts-never-burn]

The best one I ever heard was someone sent in a list of possible names, and then at the bottom of the list, wrote, “This is a damn stupid way to run a business.”

All the possible names were taken. Guess what the horse’s name was registered as?

This Is a Damn Stupid Way to Run a Business

[levynite]

when you mishear potatoes and get Pot-8-os

[lesbianshepard]

the cool thing about having an idiot alt right supporting brother is when he gets mad over dumb shit my sister and i go “It’s concerning how such a small thing triggers such a strong reaction from you.” in the family groupchat and he’ll see the word “trigger” in relation to him and go fucking nuclear

the downside about having such a dipshit brother is literally every thing else about him

[lesbianshepard]

case in point: he’s angry about Stranger because she knocked over a glass he left on the counter overnight and said if we don’t find her owner by tomorrow he’ll throw her out the window.

I went “It’s concerning how something so small triggers such a strong reaction from you. Stranger is a kitten, and we’ve only had her for a few days. Maybe you should calm down before threatening violence to a fucking kitten.” 

This escalated his anger, and he started texting back how he won’t really hurt her, but he doesn’t want her to track litter everywhere. My sister responded “Maybe you can keep your door closed while she stays with her so it’s a safe space away from cat hair and kitty litter.”

We heard him yell from upstairs and he turned off his phone. 

[alephnull47]

this is god tier trolling, and i’m in genuine awe of it

[brunhiddensmusings]

the legend is real and doesnt like reality checks

[yourplayersaidwhat]

“We put the ‘party’ in ‘party’”

— - bard

[the-memedaddy]

[alternicobase]

[durbikins]

[roqo-deactivated20201013]

im in tears i can fucking FEEL elmo’s thoughts 

[enzerusworld]

[tacomel420]

me as a store owner

[onegianthand]

Burglar

[pietriarchy]

[asexualgeorgecostanza-deactivat]

[joey-wheeler-official]

[piss-bong]

[canopycapers-deactivated2022111]

[schmendrick-lamar-deactivated20]

[journeymanfool]

[aaronsmithtumbler]

Older forms of English kept Latin’s gender-specific suffixes -tor and -trix;  tor is for men and trix is for women. So a male pilot is an aviator, a female pilot is an aviatrix. A male fighter is a gladiator, a female fighter is a gladiatrix.

This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.

[val-ritz]

YOU COME INTO MY HOUSE