[self-molded-clay]

Read before following:

This is a blog for healing from and venting about being raised in high-control/high-demand religion, in my case specifically fundamentalist calvinist christianity in a usamerican context. It will also be about deconstructing from religion and christianity in general. I don’t identify with any particular faith label or lack thereof currently, but I’m probably closest to atheist. (also, my blog name is a reference to Isaiah 64:8, in case anyone was wondering.)

Before you follow please be aware there will be the usual triggers that come with the topic of this blog (such as abuse, especially child abuse, discussion of cults, educational neglect, christian nationalism, sexism/ableism/racism/homophobia, etc). There may also be suggestive jokes and discussions about sex sometimes; this isn’t a blog meant for kids.

I’ll be putting most reblogs into a queue to keep things spaced out. Also, this is a sideblog, so I can’t follow back from this blog and I won’t be linking my main blog just to keep things separate. (If you recognize me from my main you’re still welcome to follow this blog though, if you want!) Feel free to send me asks and such anyway, I always like making friends!

DNI: I check all blogs that follow me and if you’re a terf or any other variety of bigot I will block you. Also, any christians who want to try to proselytize or debate me: I’m not interested and I won’t be arguing with you, so just leave me alone please and thank you.

[the-jesus-pill]

Things to ask yourself if you are scared god is punishing you or if you are doubting your deconversion

Why did you deconvert in the first place?  

Would you truly be happy if you returned back to your old life? Would you really be accepted even if you do everything “right”?  

Why would god focus on punishing you instead of doing something useful (ie curing a sick child, stopping wars, performing miracles, helping his believers, bringing joy to another person)?  

Do you want to worship a god who seems to use petty, passive aggressive tactics to get your attention?  

Are you really being punished or could there be a different explanation for your current situation?  

Was your life problem and worry free before you deconverted?  

What can you do for yourself right now to distract you from these thoughts?

Resources:

Mental Health Resources - Dare to Doubt

Religious Trauma Syndrome - ChoosingTherapy

RTS How to Heal Tips - livingbetterlivesnwa

If you find yourself becoming increasingly paranoid or anxious, I highly recommend finding a professional in your area to talk to! There are lots of great resources online to find cheap counselling services. 

[orteil42]

given the current climate this pride especially i feel i must mention that i love my trans friends, i stand with trans people in the fight against transphobic legislation and those who would enforce it, and this blog is not a good place for you to be if you do not vibe with that

[valtsv]

the thing about growing up with siblings in an abusive household is that ultimately you're each other's jail wardens and whipping boys and that does things to you no matter how much you sincerely love each other and understand why it happened the way it did and wish you could have been big and strong enough to save both of you

[valtsv]

it's just inevitably going to be difficult to reconcile the love you feel for the other half of a bear trap clamped around both your legs. is the thing.

[ape-of-naples]

lmao

[ape-of-naples]

come on

[maxknightley]

"of course this is a valid historical source. it says 'this happened' right there at the top of the page."

[grubloved]

we have to do something about womens misery in their heterosexual relationships we have to DO something i need to make my beautiful funny smart witty driven intelligent powerful women coworkers understand that they really could both break up with their shit ass men partners who treat them badly and dont cook and are weird and uncommunicative and petty and nasty and immature and get best friend married even if they dont want to go full lesbian all at once and they could make a life together where they support and communicate with each other and they could be happy and they dont just have to joke about it like it could never happen it could be real you could be so happy you could be so happy

[winged-thinged]

You have to let people love you. You have to let people get to know you. You have to let people help you. Being so completely selfless that you try to erase yourself off the face of the planet and never ask for anything and reject everybody's offers of support makes you very hard to love! Unfortunately. Emptying yourself out of everything that makes you, you is not actually what your loved ones want from you, generally. They want to make you happy! They will be so so sad if you don't give them the chance. It's not all selfish. I promise.

[winged-thinged]

Oh god oh no people are reblogging this again without the context that it's speaking back against the Christian teaching that love is abnegation and that true love means emptying yourself of your own desires, suffering, and submitting yourself to death, even death on a cross.

[stimman3000]

“oh you wouldn’t identify as transgender if you hadn’t been exposed to other trans people and learned what being transgender was” you’re right! i’d identify as suicidal

[unknought]

social contagion is good actually

[tanadrin]

“better for people to be miserable in the right way than happy in the wrong way” is the inescapable conclusion of a lot of social conservatism

[gowns]

[thegentlemanstar]

[image ID : a reply by user thegraftedbutch that says “If you’re happy and you know it’s that’s a sin”. end ID.]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[thistoowillpasss]

[kittykittyredcat]

[rimonoroni2]

the christian veneration of the lamb has always been terrifying to me in ways i can’t explain

[rimonoroni2]

here’s this figure that is vulnerable and easily abused and what’s admirable about it is that it doesn’t fight back and it doesn’t try to defend itself and it’s suffering is noble because it just sits there and takes it. pain is beautiful when you surrender to pain, suffering is godly when you don’t question or try to protect yourself and survival is ugly… like it is just me or is anybody else’s fucking skin crawling rn!!

[self-molded-clay]

happy mother’s day to myself and anyone else who raised themselves or their siblings. the things you sacrificed and the childhood you lost may or may not be recognized or validated by your family of origin, but i see you!!

it doesn’t have to feel like a celebration, it’s ok if it feels like grief today instead. but i see you and i love you and i am making you a cake and bringing you flowers for everything you’ve survived. we aren’t alone!

[gramarobin]

[theshoesofatiredman]

The concept of a prayer warrior is kinda crazy cause it would seem to imply that you have to fight to be heard by god (why? Is Daddy not listening to his children?) and also that some people can do it better than others. Are they more sincere? More faithful? Do they know how to ask god for help in the way he likes it best?

If you imagine an all powerful loving god who is always listening, it really doesn't make sense that he couldn't answer the prayer for healing from the person who doesn't really believe it will happen or who asks for it poorly. Prayer is this mystical mysterious thing, a power that gets amplified by faithfulness and also quantity (Christians are always trying to get more people to Pray For You when something bad is happening) and yet this seems totally unaligned with the supposed character of their god.

[christmasturtles]

[dreamdolldiary]

[inthesensethat]

[hexthelex-deactivated20250420]

This is true btw

[letmeliedown]

the podcast If Books Could Kill has a really great episode on the original book and its legacy! just a bunch of misogynist evangelical bullshit really

[cherishedproperty]

I want to clarify something kind of important because this kinda used to be my field. The concept that people express and feel love in different ways, and that this might lead to misunderstandings, IS something with scientific merit. The idea that there are just five and we know what they are is NOT. The idea that people have a primary love language is NOT.

In science, we have a saying. All models are wrong, but some are useful. That’s how I see the love languages framework. It is inherently flawed, but some of its concepts are useful. Communicate with your partner what makes you feel loved and understand what makes them feel loved. Understand how your partner shows love. There is immense value in that. But don’t over-index on which one of the five you are. That part doesn’t matter.

[thesunflowersqueen]

#love languages#really reblogging for that last comment though#“all models are wrong but some are useful”#the concept is sound but the specifics are uhhhh not (via @mad-madam-m)

[heartcountry]

there was no perfect path. you did not get punished. your life did not unravel when you made a left turn. the memory will always be there. you can visit whenever you want. there is no alternate timeline where you made a better choice and got a happier ending. you were a little girl chasing the ice cream truck, playing hopscotch, swinging and aiming for the never ending blue. yes, the grief was waiting up ahead. but so was the miracle of saturdays in a car headed wherever you wanted to go. enough sky to wrap around every wound. friends who, despite your perennial bouts of silence, kept an ear close at all times.