[expiredcheese]

[creaturey]

ok this tag really got me

[bee-leaving]

...girl

[sapphosdickandballs]

immortalizing these tags

[gothiccharmschool]

My middle name begins with V. My Dad somehow convinced my Mom to participate in the years-long prank of making me believe my middle name was Vegomatic. To the point that if I was in trouble, I heard “Jillian Vegomatic [last name]”.

I didn’t learn my real middle name until I got my driver’s permit.

[noknowshame]

I’m watching Splash (1984) which is a romcom about a guy who falls in love with a mermaid, and when she chooses a human name she chooses Madison and guy says “that’s not a real name, but alright” which seems to imply that Madison was not a name until at least the 80’s and all girls named Madison are actually named after the mermaid. thought you should know

[brbeth]

I think...you might be right

[brownheadedcowbird]

what the fuck

[randomtheidiot]

Remember, kids. If a recipe says to only use one clove of garlic in a dish that is larger than a gerbil, the recipe is wrong and the person who made it drinks out of the toilet.

[zoomerchan4]

[nepofledgling]

an old drunk man told me to enjoy my life and have fun because I’m only 24 and I have so many years and so much life ahead of me and then he went “and you know what? in ten years when you’re 34 you’ll still be young and have your whole life ahead of you” and it was really comforting to me

[polpotpie]

What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle

[teaboot]

you've taught me to count blessings I didn't know were mine

[technofeudalism]

god forbid 5000 year old girls do anything

[flamei7]

[postpoeticparadox]

holy shit bronze age pro sheep bone gamer girl

[a-meh]

[sophie-baybey]

It's stupid that bread goes bad so fast. Bread should last ten million years on your countertop. You should be able to feed yourself off the same loaf of bread from the day you are born to the day you die. They should pass down bread between generations like a family heirloom. There should be remnants of still-good bread after the heat death of the universe.

[teaboot]

Can someone explain to me why the idea of "uploading your consciousness into a machine" is so popular???

Like... you know that the machine isn't YOU, right?

It's like. You know the ship of theseus? It doesn't really matter which boat is the REAL boat. The truth of the boat lives in the crew, not the wood

So like... You're still gonna die. There's just gonna be a thing that your loved ones can talk to when you're gone.

Worst case scenario your grieving family goes into debt paying a subscription fee to maintain denial and prolong the natural grieving process to pretend you aren't while the ghost of your voice reminds them how much you loved to buy Pepsi Cola Brand Soft Drink

Best case scenario you've made a brick that IS sentient, that THINKS it's you

Like

Why would you do that

[foone]

I was trying to find out if Kermit was eligible to be pope and I found a blog that says he's the perfect example of a catholic priest

[masha4ever]

illicit records from the soviet union hidden on x-ray plates

[bestoftswift]

[surprisebitch]

Scream Queens was really ahead of its time

[creepymutelilbugger]

[sighinastorm]

uh, source?

[frowningfox]

Source:

[catchymemes]

[ofishal-fish-posts]

official fish post

[stingrayextraordinaire]

Another year, another group of my delightful ninth graders trying to spell the word "tragedy" for their Romeo and Juliet assignment.

Last year's collection

[shane-actually]

in a way this is beautiful because this is how language worked in the elizabethean era

[thjazispixie]

FINALLY some good fucking feature ideas from the tumblr devs. tamagotchi renaissance now

[tinsnip]

I feel like “I expect it” is a completely different vibe from the rest of this scale??

[mxamalgam]

Child emperor ass response