Ser O No Ser

Hi my name's Seraph they/it Fray 22 icon made by the lovely @sulkycatart

[charlataninred]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[meraarts]

Might I add:

The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

The woman who raised the changeling alongside her biological child

The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

[eater-of-hopes-and-dreams]

The adventures of a space roomba

Cinderella finding Araura (and falling in love)

I don’t know a snappy description but the my nemesis cynthia story certainly lives in my head

[blitzlowin]

hilariously, these are almost all in my fic tag. so, a compiled list from the notes (and some extras):

The God of Arepo (graphic novel 1 / 2 / 3) (ebook)

The Monster of Sentan

The Witch’s Cat

Raise Both Children

Stabby the Roomba (honorable mention)

Cinderella Marries the Prince (comic)

My Arch Nemesis Cynthia

Pirates and Mermaid

Eindred and the Witch

The Demon King

The Cornerwitch

Grandmother Beetroot

Apocalypse Daycare Worker

Grandmother Accidentally Summons a Demon

New Year Saga

A Story About Changelings

Ranger in the King’s Forest

The Difference Between a Hare and a Rabbit

Goblin Men (Canines)

[charlataninred]

I am in love with you /p

[inkvoices]

Adding Faceblind Prince Charming and Cinderella

[inkvoices]

21. The human who died of radiation poisoning after repairing the spaceship

22. The defeat of the wizard who made people choose how they’d be to be executed

[lightningladybug]

adding the Doctors Without Borders one

[inkvoices]

I LOVE tumblr storytime, so here’s a bunch more your weekend reading. Enjoy!

24. The Queen with Three Cursed Children

25. Tiny Dragon with one coin hoard

26. Haunted house

27. Shark hero was about to go rogue

28. Grandma lives in the woods comic

29. A Different Aftermath comic

30. Battery (microstory but I love it so much)

31. It’s A Date comic

32. Supervillian kidnaps rival’s kid and they want to stay

33. Narrative Town

34. I have been hired to clean the wizard tower comic

35. Robot Apocalypse

36. The Statues That Do Not Weather

37. Kushiel

38. Tooth Fairy

39. Alien abduction

40. Felonious wish-granting

41. When humans met actual space orcs

42. Space cousins

[mikkeneko]

43. How to Bury a Gentile

[ebonyheartnet]

44. The Priest of Arepo

[terrarium-of-mistakes]

This is a collection of tumblr folktales (NOT MINE)! It has links to the posts they’re from, and it’s just really neat. Can’t remember the post I found it on, tho (it might be a different version of this one).

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream of, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[misogynistcatgirl]

I know we are all like "people in caveman times would drill holes in their head to relieve headaches" andwe go oh that's so stupid that's so dumb but like. then I get a headache and I'm like.ooooh I get it I get it. Grug prepare the drill.

[greyerwardens]

[isawken]

going over to my minimalist girlfriend’s house and she apologizes profusely for the mess and there’s just a single perfect, fresh pea on the floor of her living room

[bluelois]

Blue Lois

[isawken]

can i help you

[redmarge]

Red Marge

[isawken]

jesus christ. I Am Under Fucking Attack

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[donutdrawsthings]

I was thinking of a pride art challenge people could do with their OCs, because I thought it'd be cute! A queer/trans artist with their creations.

but then I realised that same challenge would be infinitely more funny with folks who have atypical or horror OCs

[gutsygills]

mold pisses me off so much

oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food

[tobiasdrake]

I ran into this post years ago and to be honest, it has completely reoriented the way I engage with food.

Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.

But now I’m just like.

Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.

Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?

Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.

That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.

Life-changing.

[the-missing-number]

food doesn’t actually “go bad”, it just gets eaten by something else first

[the-haiku-bot]

food doesn’t actually

“go bad”, it just gets eaten

by something else first

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

Young Hero Sent On A Quest meets other young heroes also sent on various quests—only to discover they're all being used as free child labor by the same flaky wizard as a scam to collect magical artifacts.

the Young Heroes' collective new "Quest" is now to Unionize.....

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

actually this is funnier if there are multiple wizards involved. the 12-year-olds combine their knowledge and realize the wizards are operating as a unified corporate entity...so then of course they have to go on a Quest To Meet The Monarch to ask the Crown to rule on this previously undeclared power bloc. which in a feudal fantasy world causes all sorts of political intrigue! none of it good

so then we've got corporate executive wizards facing off against royal anti-monopoly legal teams. meanwhile the aforementioned 12-year-olds are standing by pissed off and chewing popcorn (and hoarding undeclared magical artifacts they may or may not collectively vote to use as ammunition to fuel a revolutionary uprising). the!! possibilities!!!!!!

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

feels like a real step back that with all the sexual freedom available to us we moved to Hookup Culture instead of Having Sex With Friends Culture

[ellieisnotjelly]

Kiss the homies. Hold the homies. Make love to the homies. Then play smash.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*nods sagely* smash bros and then Smash Bros

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#hell yeah #I’ll show you a good time and then kick your ass with Luigi #come at/on me bro

[mgsr]

[ladytengen]

[elegantkiddreamer-deactivated20]

FLORIDA

[kevuu]

“Jones is not being charged with a crime because there’s nothing against the law about driving a truck through a house, as long as it’s your truck and your house.”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

every child should have a specific stuffed animal/toy that they develop an antagonistic relationship with

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

some of my most significant core memories involved getting into heated arguments with the furby who lived in my closet. essential component of my pre-teen character development. necessary anguish

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

sometimes small children will inflict years of torment & waterboarding on their victims before burying them in an unmarked concrete grave, that's just part of growing up

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

the post that keeps on giving (via @zenyeetaa):

#okay we weren’t children when we did this but me and some old roommates kept a baby doll in the freezer #at first it was to jump scare the next person who opened the freezer #but he was in there for a few months and then when we decided it was time to pull it out a bunch of fires broke out across our county #so we put him back in the freezer. we named him chippy and drew a mustache on his face #we tried pulling him out of the freezer a few times after that but some horrible event would happen every time without fail #when we moved apartments we had a special cooler to bring chippy with us #as far as i know chippy is still in a freezer somewhere

[eebie]

I just ate one

[eebie]

You can lie when you name things

[chonklatez]

@21st-century-minutiae

[21st-century-minutiae]

Red Delicious is a variety of apple that was bred to maintain shape, color, and durability when transported and stored. It was originally created in the late 19th century and achieved great popularity in the mid 20th century. In the early 21st century, the variety remains popular, and is one of the most common apple variants.

However, in the early twenty-first century is has developed a reputation (especially online in the form of memes) for being unpleasant. The deep red color the apple was bred directly selects against many flavor traits in apples which produce yellow coloration and striped. The thick, waxy skin protects the apple in transportation and maintains a attractive shine, but many find that it is undesirable.

In the early twenty-first century, the competitive advantages of the Red Delicious breed is much less relevant. Transportation logistics have vastly improved, so even delicate apples are unlikely to bruise on their way to the store and at home. Transportation speeds and storage mechanisms have also improved so the apple's long lasting nature is much less relevant. And, the consistency factor the apple was prized for, where every apple of the breed could be counted on to taste the same, has become the norm among cultivars. New and improved apple varieties have emerged that have all the benefits of the Red Delicious (or close enough given the new logistical realities) while also tasting better.

As such, the Red Delicious has become something of a lacking thing. The great success it represented at its introduction has fallen behind across its 150 year history, leaving it an object of mockery compared to all the new variants that have learned the lessons it taught and improved upon them. The Red Delicious simply cannot compete, as we no longer live in the world it was grown for, a world it served very well.

[sreegs]

I usually disable all the health stuff in the iPhone Health app but i opened it today check something completely unrelated when i decided to scroll down the "All Health Data" section and i've apparently fallen down a lot?? on one day in January 2015 in particular

[sreegs]

scale time

the number above is 1.00e81 (1 with 81 zeros).

There's 86,400 seconds in a day. A femtosecond is one quadrillionth of a second. there are 8.64e19 femtoseconds in a day. i would have to fall down at least 1e61 times per quadrillionth of a second to reach that number

[sreegs]

apparently a fall creates 2-4kN of force so lets split the difference and say 3kN so thats 3e81 kN of cumulative force applied over a 24 hour period to roughly, i dunno a square meter or two. i have no idea how to quantify that but im pretty sure that's an erosive force that can move mountains

presuming im invincible, i dont think the elasticity of like, granite can even keep up with the frequency of the impact. interesting conundrum

[sreegs]

i failed to consider the speed involved here in order to fall 1e81 times in a 24h period.

i'm 178cm tall, and in order to fall repeatedly, you have to get back up again (isnt there a song about this?) so one complete fall cycle is 356 cm, or 0.00356 km.

i traveled 0.00356km 1e81 times so thats 3.56e78 km/day, so 86400 seconds in a day thats 4.12037037037e73 km/sec.

i have absolutlely annihilated everything and broken the speed of light, which is a measly 299,792.458 km/sec. everything is gone. everything.

[teathattast]

[apatheticfluorescence]

some hyper famous artists like Van Gogh transcend overratedness and become underrated because they're so normalized. Like I'll look at a van Gogh and I'm like wait this really is amazing you guys don't get it

[headspace-hotel]

Shakespeare is like this

[insufferablepirate]

Every time I see a Van Gogh that’s not one of his better known pieces it absolutely blows me away

Have you seen this shit my liege? smh unreal

[pinkbowsandstripedsocks]

[edwardspoonhands]

Honestly, Tvyek is pretty miraculous. It’s permeable to water vapor but not to water, it’s nearly impossible to tear, but can be easily cut. It’s cheap and made entirely without binding chemicals. In addition to being used for wristbands, it’s used to wrap construction sites to keep out water during construction, for tear-resistant envelopes at Fed-Ex, coveralls for mechanics, and my wallet, actually.

Fun tip, though it looks like paper, Tyvek is plastic, and cannot be recycled with paper.

[fairypsychicarchive]

[andromedafalls]

holy fuc

[piisbetterthanpie]

I didn’t even know it had a name