[sizvideos]

[nopizza]

He committed to how pissed off he was

[cocochineal]

I love how petty this is

[quiet--batpeople]

I hope he brought the video to traffic court to contest the ticket lol

[doing-talking]

I love the poetry that this gifset ends with him running into a police car.

[gjallarmoth]

This is a tactic called Uncivil Obedience: where you follow the law so stringently that it exposes the injustice the law causes.

[vashito]

the treat yo self scene in parks and rec is the worst thing that ever happened to my self-control

[pickleston]

[mugicha1]

summer looks  ☀️

[babyanimalgifs]

why is my pencil talking

[setheverman]

why is your cat full of star wars sound effects

[kintatsujo]

Me: I don’t know if I ever want to be pregnant, I’d rather adopt a kid or two that are a bit older

Someone: Are you SURE? Older adoptees present UNIQUE CHALLENGES

Me: We are discussing human beings not digital pets

[plenoptic07]

Literally every child every born and/or parented presents unique challenges. It’s like people are unique individuals…..or something………….

[kintatsujo]

An amazing and revolutionary concept

[indigo-night-wisp]

When people ask me, “Why do you want to adopt teenagers?” I always answer, “Because you asked like that.”

I’m real over it. If I become a foster mom to a 17 year old kid and I get the privilege of the option to adopt them? You better believe I am legally making that kid mine.

“They’ll be a legal adult in no time, why spend the money to adopt? They’ll be aged out of the system.”

There’s no aging out of family, Marvin.

“They might be rebellious or smoke or do drugs or steal things! What if they won’t listen to you?”

Then I guess I’ll have to step up and do some fruxking parenting, Stanley.

“You want to adopt problem children then?”

All. Children. Are. Problem. Children. If you’re not prepared to deal with the fact that at some point, any child ever, whether you birthed them yourself or adopted them at any age, could become a problem? Then you are NOT ready to have children, and should really just step off and let the people who actually want to be parents live in peace with their kids.

[tearyourcurtainsdown]

Hey I’m so glad this post is picking up

[writingsforwinter]

If you lose interest in someone, tell them. 

If you’re not looking for a relationship, tell the person you’re seeing.

If you’re thinking of ghosting someone, tell them.

If you can’t handle meeting up with someone after all, tell them.

If you’re terrible at responding to messages, tell people.

If you prefer talking in person to texting, tell people. 

If you’re seeing several people at the same time, tell them.

If you’re looking for sex rather than dating, tell the person you’re seeing.

It is not difficult to be a decent and honest, open, communicative human being. Respect those whom you interact with and have relationships with by telling the truth instead of leading them on or being deceitful.

[verovagdevi]

Disney + movie shots

[slimegargoyle]

the knowing eye contact women make when men are talking is the purest human connection possible

[sggxv]

What the fuck does that even mean?

[slimegargoyle]

30 thousand women seem to get it

[d1av]

source: [x]

[revealmyselfinvincible]

[babyanimalgifs]

[vrgnmry]

WHY DID THIS HAVE TO END

[saysomethingsurreal]

OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDD

[taro-bao]

[hannahhillam]

I threw a dog on the ground today 😭😭😭

[coffeeandstring]

I am embarrassed by how hard this made me laugh.

[fatsexybitch]

…..does this mean cat people hurl cats at the ground?

[hollowedskin]

you just kind of… open ur arms and they sort themselves out. if you try and place them down they get mad and wiggle and make everything worse

[osanzo]

[captainsnoop-deactivated2020041]

how the human brain works:

electricity tickles the meat so that different slimes come out. sometimes the slime feels good sometimes bad. some people make more bad slime than good slime. that’s called clinical depression.

[reverbpotato]

my biology textbook said it was more like a sauce

[lonelymountainson]

What is a sauce but slime with a purpose?

[sickassbonedragon]

[hells-little-fallen-angels]

From now on if anyone asks me why I am randomly sad…instead of saying “I don’t know” or something I’m going to look them dead straight in the eyes and say “I’ve been assigned to mourn the death of a stranger” and just walk away

[shadyladiess]

my chest feels like all the life is being sucked out of it. I can’t reach out and touch anything because everyone and everything is just a little bit too far. I can see happiness but it’s just slightly out of reach.

tomorrow, the aching and the nausea will get worse and worse until my body does not belong to me anymore. It belongs to the thing inside me that’s eating away, stealing all of my energy and all of my joy.

i will fill the empty rivers and streams with vodka and gin. The waves will crash over me and give me the strength that I do not have on my own.

and then I will collapse but I will not sleep. When the tide changes the monster will still be hungry.

[celinedijonmustard-deactivated2]

me: i want to have sex 

someone: just go out and have a one night stand with someone it’s not that hard 

me and my emotional monogamy craving ass: