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[shaneberryjam]

hi. heated rivalry sideblog :) my main is over at @thewindyoubargainedfor

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Talk: MLH (3.5k, NR)

Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov, as told through their Wikipedia talk pages.

[urie]

dick so good you start plotting and scheming

[urie]

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

things ilya is always thinking about at least a little bit

Getting shane to do drugs in the bathroom with him

How to use the current situation to commit metaphorical suicide

His mom

How much he fucking hates losing at hockey like genuinely hates it and it makes him feel sick every time he sees everyone treat him like the laughing stock he knows he is because even though he was the second best in the league and the best captain (key word was) he can’t lead the centaurs to victory it kills him a little more and theres a part of him that wishes his dad was still alive so he could get a phone call after every loss to validate how terrible he is

Shane bouncing on it

[iwrotemrtambourineman]

things shane is always thinking about at least a little bit

Getting ilya to quit smoking

Which drills the metros third line needs to do to at least not embarrass him

His diet

They know oh my god they can tell everyone can tell it was a fools errand to even pretend that they couldn’t tell they can all tell and everyone is laughing behind his back because they thing he doesn’t know that they all know because he cant let them know he knows but oh my god they all know

Bouncing on it

[shanesbeautifulmind]

i do believe they try free use but find that it’s not so different from their usual sex life actually. ilya fucks him whenever he likes and shane is always like yay yippee

so ilya invites svetlana over one weekend

which changes everything

suddenly ilya is exclusively speaking russian, there are plenty of important hosting tasks to interrupt, svetlana is watching them

and shane, for the first time, feels used

he’s reduced to an object, good enough to pour drinks, good enough to bend over the counter while prepping snacks, not good enough to acknowledge otherwise

he’s not allowed to speak, not allowed to make eye contact with svetlana, and not allowed to come

his name pops up in conversation often, but they barely glance at him even when he’s making needy little noises, even when he’s choking around ilya’s dick

when ilya comes in his mouth, he casually turns to svetlana and says “you want?” and svetlana very politely goes “oh i’m good for now, thanks” and shane nearly comes in his jockstrap

the nonchalance around sharing him with others, turning down his services but with the threat still looming is sort of a triple hit on shane’s dick

i just think my shangel deserves the full experience <3

[hr-rep]

I’m just imagining in the future, Ilya continues to send Shane sexts that he never responds to (in my interpretation, at this point, they’ve discussed that Shane Likes getting them but doesn’t really know how to respond so it’s just kind of a fun thing for them both where Shane shows his appreciation/enjoyment of it Later) which does mean scrolling through a Hollanov text chain makes Shane look uhhh not good.

Just a paragraph of Ilya describing, in detail, what he’s going to do to a Shane once he gets back from the grocery store and the only response is Shane typing back. Do we need more strawberries? I can’t remember if we finished them.

(I really love a Hollanov text leak fic and this is a version I’ve yet to see 😈😈)

[etheltempest]

nicole gosling i miss you already

[grabmyboner]

i jus wanna watch shane do mundane things. put him in a lil tank and watch him wonder around. maybe tap on the glass to say hey occasionally

[kaijuerotica]

hollanov had to share a locker room during the hours between flirting at the bar and pleakin in the hotel room and im just wondering who else was in that locker room and what kind of suffering they endured

[smokingrozanov]

Shane watched every 2014 Buzzfeed video with the word ‘Gay’ in the title & thought to himself “okay see I can’t be gay because I don’t act like that” then he’d go jerk off to the memory of choking on it

[hollanderthoughts]

I cry before sex and I cry after sex, of course, but during sex? I have a fucking job to do.

[hollanderthoughts]

Which is cry while getting pounded into the mattress, yea. Obviously.

[grabmyboner]

i Loooove projecting onto shane.

[hr-rep]

have you read any good shane breakdown fics?

I’ll call this my compilation of Shane Hollander emotional h/c fics :}}

Something You Can Fix (series) I cannot recommend this enough, truly. It’s based off the idea that somebody records Shane & Rose’s conversation and posts it online.

Dig Two Graves this is a very, very good fic with a very very well-written breakdown from Shane and it’s also a very tough read. There is a graphic self-mutilation in this fic so read with caution!!!

Change, Like the Sky Shane unintentionally attempts suicide after getting outted in this one, so, please, read with caution!

A Year Safe in Your Heart I’ve recommended this one before, it’s a time travel fic where Shane has a. tough time. I really find the way his emotional health is discussed very compelling.

Crystal, Come Right In less of a breakdown fic but I really like this one, it’s an expansion on a possible version of the Club scene where things go differently. Bit of a spoiler, I guess, but it does have a happy ending :}

One Day I’ll Watch as You’re Leaving (and Life Will Lose All It’s Meaning) this is a Hollanov break-up fic + Shane’s very passive in this one so just keep in mind that that is the Shane you will be reading about. Additionally! Shane deals a lot with his suicidal thoughts in this fic, so keep that in mind.

How to Be a Rogue another tough read, please be aware that this discusses Shane being sexually assaulted and it being public knowledge.

It’s All Canadian Vodka’s Fault yeah so Shane thinks Ilya died and this is him Reacting. I really, reallyyyy like Shane’s internal monologue in this one

(Incomplete) Ilya; My Ilyusha there is truly so much potential here, this is another time travel fic and I’m Very obsessed with what’s been written so far. Book!Shane gets sent to TV!Universe and, unsurprisingly, there are problems with this. Very veryyyy good so far!

This isn’t totally what you mean BUT I would be remiss not to add a big fav of mine :}

Hope It Hurts Like You Hurt Me I’ve said this about this fic before: it has one of my favorite blowjobs scenes ever :} and unlike these other fics, not a sad breakdown nor would I Really call it a breakdown, it’s Shane Standing On Business

[kleefkruid]

Tumblr already has a personalization algorithm it's called my beloved mutuals who have great taste and only wish to psychologically damage me sometimes

[hr-rep]

shane very public post-wedding breakdown. shane yelling at his teammates during practice and completely tanking like 3 games in a row. shane getting in reckless fights on the ice and losing teeth over it. shane becoming completely unable to take care of himself in any meaningful way and suddenly ilya is seeing his husband laying in bed for days on end with greasy hair and skipping meals in a way that reminds him so much of his mother. shane breakdown…………

I FUCKING LOVEE THIS SONGGGG !!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[pregnanthudsonwilliams]

ilya strikes me as something of a pancake fiend

[argillaforma]

ilya being in a period of Bad depression and between playing games and going to practice he doesn't really have the energy to do much else and he just kind of collapses when he gets home and he hasn't shaved in days and his hair is unruly and he just feels kinda gross and ugly but doesn't have the energy to do anything about it so shane is like Not On My Watch so he drags ilya into the tub and washes his hair with his special curly shampoo and carefully shaves his face and lathers him in too much body lotion which means he has to stand stark naked in the bathroom for 10 minutes before he can put clothes on and shane tries his best to do his curly hair routine for him he gets the special towel and the curl cream and his eyebrows furrow in concentration as he scrunches ilya's curls to the best of his abilities and ilya sits on the toilet lid with tears in his eyes

[blond-shell]

AS PROMISED: fics ive enjoyed lately

there is no rhyme or reason to this ive just been depressed and reading an insane amount of fic and wanted to share

a decision to stop needing things softer than they are by greymcknot - 24,853 words - not complete - the ilya retrograde amnesia fic of my dreams it's so so so so good

for jessica (or not) by 21cg - 10,079 words - complete - im not even a big au guy but this hit so good. shane and ilya are roommates and shane is bad at sex with his girlfriend so he asks ilya for........... advice

white collar crimes by anonymous - 10,692 words - complete - shane stealing ilya's clothes. that's the fic and it's perfect.

if i could save time in a bottle by imbihesgay - 4,947 words - complete - hollanov aging fic my BELOVEDDDDD. if you know me you know that's the thing im SENSITIVE about......

would you still love me by UglyGreenJacket - 4,187 words - complete - ilya asks if shane would still love him if he's a worm and then they both end up spiraling about it 10/10 no notes

Operation Get Roz a SAP by dntat - 9,781 words - complete - a fun and slightly canon divergent fic where the cens think ilya is lonely and try to set him up with various people

Leave It On by beedeer - 9,730 words - complete - the best jealous shane x jealous ilya fic.... ilya forgets to put his ring back on after a game and they both end up spiraling about it. possessive4possessive hollanov

Is This a Jeep? by beedeer - 4,100 words - complete - all the sweet, anxious moments between "im coming to the cottage" and shane picking ilya up from the airport. i love this so much and i think this author writes them perfectly

u & me at home by static_radio - 3,325 words - complete - shane at ilya's ottawa house for the first time reacting very normally to the fact that ilya clearly bought this house with the intention of it one day being Their house

The Shane Hollander Debacle by nineteenohtwo - 9,791 words - complete - the internet trying to cancel shane for not using pride tape ASDHDKSFHAS every part in this series is like crack to me. i am this author's biggest fan.

guilty pleasure by WeeBeastie - lots of words - ongoing series but can all be read as one-shots or out of order - a 7-part series of shane wearing lingerie for ilya. you're welcome.