Ya Nort A Boy

Milo They/Them I might be on now or in the next 3 years who knows anymore tbh

[so-many-ocs]

immediately after an interaction: i have GOT to get more normal oh god i need to get more normal immediately i have to get more normal or they're going to hunt me down they're going to hunt me down and flay me for sport

during an interaction: and why not put a little spin on it? why not add some conversational zest?

[aphrodite-gock]

just overheard somwone say "hey dude i dont see the future I've got two balls and neither is made of crystal" and im absolutely losing it

[blue--deer]

*slides this across the table* you're going to want to read this

[elodieunderglass]

There are Experiences behind this sign

[dailycatsblog]

[dr-gaytorius]

The fact of the matter is that I do not want to do it

[dr-gaytorius]

"do what?" you might wonder. well. [gestures broadly]

[stealingpotatoes]

for some reason my cat always acts surprised and sniffs me when i pet him even if he's literally sat on me

[ceilingfan5]

MEASURE NEVER

CUT WHENEVER

LIVE FOREVER

DIE ON ANY HILL

[teaboot]

CHASE DESIRE

FUCK AIR FRYER

FRIES ON FIRE

EARTHQUAKE DRILL

[wanderingwondererofthings]

we didn't start the fire

[riverc1an]

“i asked chatgpt” okay well i asked starclan and they gave me a foreboding prophecy involving a broad-shouldered brown tabby with amber eyes

[babushkaat]

[girljeremystrong]

booty shorts that say ASK ME ABOUT THE BOOK I'M READING on the ass

[fallout-lou-begas]

it's finally that time of the year again for the clinically depressed newscaster describing february with disco elysium music

[harry-does-boys]

sisyphean slip: getting the same word wrong over and over again

freudian complex: the incorrect belief that every human being on earth has the same wierd kink as you

oedipus’ boulder: trying to prove over and over again that you don’t want to fuck your own mother

[devilcroc]

the biggest questions detective pikachu answered

no one but professional trainers has a full team of 6 in the pokemon universe because it would be a fucking gigantic hassle to deal with 6 animals, let alone different types that need different things

some people don’t evolve their pokemon because imagine having a fucking cat and then you can choose to make the cat five times as big and strong. would you do this if you weren’t battling.

[sindri42]

Technically if your cat isn’t battling it doesn’t evolve.

That does however give cat owners a strong incentive to not let their cat outside, because realistically any cat that is allowed to roam free is gonna rack up exp until it evolves.

[such-justice-wow]

I let my litten out one day and a week later incineroar rips my door off and demands wet food only

[humblebee-hymn]

Caring for this incineroar for three days before my litten shows up. Who the fuck is this then?

[devilcroc]

this is the funniest addition anyone’s ever made to this post

[starridge]

who are your parasocial enemies, like mine are andrew lloyd webber and butch hartman

[chaifootsteps]

[sagacious-sdaughter]

"Hey there pepperhead, legal isn't super exited about this tweet"

[drysqu1d]

im always really impressed with how you find such incredibly Bad Posts. that mr krab naked penis one. wow

thank you?

[sandersstudies]

Me: Okay improv class somebody give me an occupation. :)

Class: Dentist!

Me: okay, so in this scene you are going to be a dentist. :)

Child 1: WHY DID YOU STEAL MY TEETH!

Child 2, on the floor, sobbing: I’m so sorry! I sold them on the dark web. I’m in so much debt from medical college.