What if you were so beautiful and so talented and so tragic, and your eyes were so big and so wet, and then two men whose lives revolve around you fistfight in a pool? What if your good sweet boyfriend who is willing to die to protect you got tied up by a dangerous romantic monster who will kill to have you?? What if everywhere you went was opulent and everything you wore was stunning??? Please god listen, I am grabbing you all by the lapels and shaking, this movie is at every moment one hundred percent committed to being the shameless distillation of the best daydream you’ve ever had in math class.