SharkRunaway @sharkrunaway - Tumblr Blog

One single spider has been descending from a very long thread all the way from the moon and will very soon, we hope, carefully touch down on earth.

poetrylesbian

being very fat means that sometimes you will encounter a chair that is so spindly, so fragile, so delicate. sometimes you will encounter a chair that is made of matchsticks and dreams. and has a seat the size of an ipad. a chair that resembles a newly born deer taking its first shaky steps. being very fat means that sometimes a thin person will offer this chair to you as a seat and not even think about it. meanwhile you, the fat person, if you listen very closely and with an open heart, can actually hear the chair whimpering and coughing like a sick victorian child. a thin person will offer this chair to you, a very fat person, and you have to look at them. and then the chair. and then your hips. and back at them. and be like. let's be real. can we please be real for a second. can we please use our spatial awareness right now. like it's okay we are allowed to use our spatial awareness when it comes to my ass. it's all good.

choxtopia

Top 10 chair opponents:

1. That white plastic garden chair. Fuck that thing.

2. The old rickety metal folding chair that's already wobbly before you give it to me.

3. Those fabric outdoor folding chairs you take to go camping, or to the beach or the park. We'll all be on the ground if it's not a heavy duty one.

4. Those fuckass outdoor wedding chairs that fold up. Nothing better than sweating through your dress or suit, shaking hoping to not break a rented chair on the most important day of someone else's life.

5. The same chair but at funerals. It's only lower bc at least if I bust my ass at a funeral I'm going to brighten someone's day as they laugh at me rolling around trying to get back up.

6. The seats at old timey theaters built during the dust bowl/depression era when everyone was starving. A three hour musical is just long enough for your whole lower body to go numb. Even with the intermission.

7. Any non metal chair at those trendy brunch places. Wicker held together with string are the biggest opps of the bunch but they're almost all bad.

8. Booths at cheap restaurants/old booth seats with no internal bones. Also any where the tables or seats are bolted to the ground. Why? For what purpose??

9. Office chairs that say they're big and tall but they sadly deflate after a month or two. The utter betrayal.

10. Your well meaning friend who actually tried to get you a chair that worked but it still didn't. Now my skinny nice friend is also sad, you monster.