when jeremy's brother came by their house and jeremy froze and looked panicked so jean just casually got up and put bryson through a windshield... yeah you're right laila, that was hot
It’s so funny to me that Jean uses his lack of English proficiency as an excuse but then his inner monologue is using words like malcontent and cretin. Like the only thing that man is fluent in is being a straight up hater.
There is literally nothing funnier to me in these two books than neil just existing. In all scenes he's in neil is like a complete alien. POP All these monsters die so easily in the end... why are you so weird, jean is hyperventilating as we speak. Next scene he's in? He's in California giving FBI mental rabies. The best part? Neither Kevin nor Andrew had any idea neil was visiting jean in California. None, whatsoever. Andrew is regretting every decision he's ever made
jean about neil in tsc: the wayward child. a tedious malcontent. a wretched little runaway. an insignificant brat. an abominable cockroach. a rabid little fox. the tiny bastard. a miserable wretch.
also jean about neil in tsc: my misplaced forever partner. an unfulfilled promise. my permanent partner. his voice is a line to follow home.
Summary: Harry considers what kind of house he would like to live in, and asks for Ginny's opinion.
Read below or on AO3
“What kind of house do you like, Ginny?”
It was several weeks before they both finished their last year at Hogwarts when he asked this. She put down her quill beside her Potions homework and turned around. She sat up on her knees by the couch, where Harry rested on his back. One hand tucked behind his head, the other played absent-mindedly with his Snitch.
She leaned a bit closer and rested her hands on the edge of the couch. “Is this your way to ask me to move in with you? Because that would be incredibly lame.”
He offered her an incredulous look. “I am not that much of a twat...usually.”
She grinned at him. “So you do not want to move in with me?” She tilted her head innocently, knowing she had set him up for failure either way.
He turned red. “Ginny.”
With his attention elsewhere, his hand did not chase after the Snitch and it softly soared away through the common room. He leaned on his elbow, turning towards her. She kept eye contact.
“I need to find a house, for myself. I can’t stay in the Burrow forever, and I do not want to live in Grimmauld Place. And if I would get a house, you’d be there frequently, wouldn’t you?”
Her gaze softened at his words. “Yes. I would hope so.”
“And so, I thought it must be something you like too. Your dad said I could probably afford a house.”
She held back her snort. “My dad? Perhaps he was hinting at something.”
He raised an unimpressed eyebrow. “I am sure your dad did not suggest we would live in sin.” His eyes twinkled and the corners of his mouth turned up in a grin.
“He is not an idiot, you know, about what we get up to.” Her fingers walk over his chest up to his collarbones. “However, maybe he was suggesting something with more commitment.”
He laughed and let himself drop back on the couch. He looked up towards the ceiling. “If you want to marry me, you will just have to propose.”
She tried to playfully swat at him, but he caught her hand and entwined their fingers, turning it towards him. “Though that finger would look lovely with a ring on it.”
She took her hand back and joined him on the couch. He made place for her so she could lie beside him. His arm wrapped around her shoulder, and she found comfort in the familiarity of it.
“I like cosy houses. Something that is clearly lived in and enjoyed,” she said.
He hummed. “Something like the Burrow, but slightly less crooked?”
“Yes.”
“And a big garden for Quidditch practice.”
She nodded. “And perhaps we should think ahead, so we do not have to haphazardly add rooms on top.”
“Good point,” he said lightly.
She rested her head on his shoulder. “We will give my mum and dad a month or two to adjust that all her children are out of Hogwarts before I go anywhere.”
“They can start counting down until Victoire comes, 11 years to go.”
She chuckled lightly. “What is the Hogwarts castle without a Weasley in it?”
“It is not great,” Harry mused. “I think anything you would like to call ‘home’ should have a Weasley in it.” He caressed her cheek.
“Don’t say that too loudly or you’ll be stuck with Mr Lanky Blue Eyes over there.” She nodded in the direction of Ron. She put her leg over his. “Instead of me.”
His hand dropped to her waist and squeezed it closer. “I am sure Hermione has Ron’s life planned out for the next fifteen years, he simply doesn’t know it yet.” He threw her another lopsided grin.
She smiled at him. “I’m sure he knows. He simply lets her.”
“Right,” he said. “Am I putting up too much of a fight for your future plans?”
She chuckled. “Definitely.”
“Your future plans are... Holyhead Harpies?”
“Yes.” She still could not believe she was already signed with them. “And you are there.”
He blinked at her. “Nothing else?”
“I think the rest will be things we should decide together, so all those plans are vague.”
He breathed in deeply. “I do like the sound of that.” A silence fell. “Do you think we should get married before we move in together? Do people expect that?”
She sat up and leaned on her hand. “Is this your way to ask me to marry you? Because that would be incredibly lame.” Her face hovered over his. “Hm, Potter?”
His hand cupped her cheek. “All in due time, Weasley. It’s nice to know you want it that bad you only consider it ‘lame’. You’re not even peeved. That means I won’t have to worry too much about your reply when I do ask.”
She kissed him. “Would you ever doubt my reply?”
His brows knitted together, his thumb traced her bottom lip. Then he shook his head. “Maybe I do not.”
can you write a fan fic on Sirius giving Harry advice on Ginny. I need Hinny fluff!
This was sent so many years months ago, hope you'll still read it, Anon!
godfatherly advice
Summary: Sirius and Remus discuss Harry's love life. Set during OotP. Around 1600 words.
“Do you remember a girl named Cho Chang?”
It is the sudden change in their talk — they had been exchanging stories of their favorite Christmas dinners at Hogwarts — that makes Remus blink, surprised. He turns to Sirius, but his friend is now looking at the far corner of the kitchen where Harry is playing Explosive Snap.
“What?”
“When you were teaching at Hogwarts,” Sirius answers, sounding impatient. “There was a girl called Cho Chang, right?”
“Right,” Remus agrees slowly. “Ah—she was in the Fourth Year. Ravenclaw. Bright girl. She wrote this essay about curses—”
Sirius waves him off. “Fourth Year,” he muses. “One year above Harry, then. Different houses. Not much in common.” He shifts his weight from one foot to another. “Pretty girl?”
He jumps. “I didn’t notice it! I was her professor—”
“Oh, get a grip.” Sirius rolls his eyes. “Think like a fifteen-year-old boy—never mind, you never mentioned your crushes back in school, I don’t think you were ever a teenager.”
Warmth floods Remus’ face, and he deviates his gaze. “Why are you asking, anyway?”
“Hum…” Sirius seems as embarrassed as he gets. “Rumour has it that Harry’s got a crush on this girl.”
“Rumour.” Remus glances at where Tonks and Hermione are talking with the Weasley twins. “I guess this rumour is friends with one of Harry’s best friends.”
“I am not discussing my sources with you. But if you can trust this particular rumour, and you can… Harry and this girl, Cho, got friendly before the end of the term.”
“Oh.” Remus watches Harry for a moment. With his overly large shirt and laughing freely as he plays Explosive Snap with Ginny Weasley, Harry doesn’t look his age. “I forgot he is old enough to have a girlfriend.”
There’s a grunt in answer. Sirius is frowning, displeased.
“What?”
“I don’t think she is his girlfriend. From what Ton—my source mentioned, it was just a snog or something like that. “
Remus raises his eyebrows. “Just a snog? That doesn’t sound like Harry.” Sure, Remus may have missed a few — a lot of — years staying away from Harry, but he got to know him during his time as a professor. And between Voldemort and the Triwizard Tournament, not to mention all the stress of this year, he doubts Harry has turned into some kind of Casanova since then.
“No,” Sirius shakes his head. “But from what I got, Harry has had feelings for this girl for ages, but it is complicated—she was the girlfriend of the Diggory boy. The one who died in the Triwizard Tournament.”
Remus sighs. “Nothing is ever easy for Harry, is it?”
“Maybe,” Sirius mumbles, seemingly to himself. “But when Harry finally snogs the girl he’s been pinning for so long—you would think he might mention something to me.”
“Is that what’s bothering you?” Remus can’t help his smirk. “You know you owe him the talk, right?”
Sirius flushes slightly. “It’s not his silence that’s upsetting,” he says haughtily, clearly determined to ignore the second part of what Remus told him. “But rather—do you remember when James and Lily finally snogged?” That familiar jolt of pain hits Remus; his smile is wistful as he nods. “James kept smiling so much that it looked as if he had overdosed on an Euphoria Elixir.”
“And he couldn’t stop babbling about it—it was three in the morning, and he was still gushing.”
“Yeah.” Sirius looks older for a moment, his gaze far away before he nods towards Harry. “Does Harry look remotely like James did?”
“I don’t know. He seems quite happy now.” And as to prove his point, Harry’s laugh echoes in the kitchen for a moment. The cards have exploded, drawing everyone’s attention, though neither Harry and Ginny seem to mind. They are chuckling, and even though his own face is painted with soot, Harry jumps to smooth the small flames over the tips of Ginny’s hair.
“Exactly!” Sirius beacons him to come closer, his eyes shining with mischief. “And not because of this Cho Chang girl, but rather…”
Sirius’ voice drifts away, conspiratorially. It takes Remus a few seconds — during which, impatient, Sirius glances meaningfully at the place where Harry and Ginny are — before he understands.
“Harry and Ginny? They are friends.”
“So were James and Lily.”
“Yeah, but aren’t you forgetting the part where James made a fool of himself whenever Lily Evans was around?”
Sirius shrugs. “Things never happen twice the same way. In fact, rumour has it that Ginny used to have a massive crush on Harry.”
“Hmmm.” Remus considers this for a moment, before deciding it is no big secret. “This one is true, when I was her teacher, I saw how she acted whenever Harry was around… but I thought it was because of that Chamber of Secrets incident.” He shakes his head. The things Harry faced at Hogwarts…
“Very romantic, I guess. The hero saves the girl… and usually gets the girl.”
“I think the hero was too young then to care about these things.”
“And now he is older, but he doesn’t seem to be caring for the right person.”
Remus blinks. “Aren’t you being too judgemental? You have just heard about this girl.”
“I am judgmental, but not of Cho Chang. I’m judging Harry.”
“Who is acting as a teenager for once?”
“I just mean… I thought they would make a good couple. Harry and Ginny. They share the same slightly twisted sense of humour and they seem good together.”
Remus sips from his goblet, allowing himself some time to consider it. Harry and Ginny have split up now; while Ginny is chatting excitedly with Tonks and Hermione, Harry has joined Ron, but now and then he glances at Ginny’s back — fondly, not exactly romantic, but maybe there is a spark there, a seed that could grow. There had been some storm over Harry’s head during that Christmas break, something related to the vision of Arthur being attacked; that storm is gone now, and though Remus has no idea of what exactly unfolded, somehow he thinks it was because of Ginny Weasley.
“They would match,” he agrees, and then, because this is Sirius he’s talking to, he adds carefully, “but you shouldn’t meddle with them.”
“I would never,” Sirius rebuffs at once, but there is a mischief spark in his eyes, so alive, that Remus knows this isn’t the end of it.
“Sirius—”
“Speaking about match-making, don’t you think my cousin looks splendid tonight?”
The inevitable flush that floods his cheeks is enough to make Remus change the subject.
He isn’t really surprised to find out, a couple hours later, that Sirius has cornered Harry as they clean up the last remains of supper.
“How are things at Hogwarts? Any good news?”
Harry seems taken aback. “You know how things are,” he says, looking at Sirius as if he’s considering his godfather lost his mind. Remus winces, then unsuccessfully tries to get Sirius’ attention.
“I was thinking about things you might not mention in a letter or during a fireplace call, like… Maybe some romance in the air?”
Smoothness, Remus considers, was never Sirius’ strength. Harry flushes a deep red, all his attention in drying the dishes as if his life depends upon it.
“Er—okay. Not anything worth mentioning, just the same.”
“The same,” repeats Sirius slowly. Perhaps he senses that Harry is ready to run — his eyes have shifted to the door a couple times as if he is considering how many steps he needs to be away from there — because Sirius suddenly smiles. “You know, your father never had eyes for anyone but your mother.”
Harry’s eyes open. “Really?”
“Really.” Sirius looks only encouraged. “Now, James was a popular guy, a Quidditch hero, had a great sense of humor, and of course an amazing taste in his best friend, so there were girls chasing after him, but he never cared for anyone else. And he was right, because he and Lily… they were just perfect, destined to be together.”
There’s a dreamy expression on Harry’s face. Remus knows Harry is away thirsty for any information he might receive from his parents, so he may just be considering this new piece of the puzzle that are his parents. But as he drifts, destined or not, Harry’s gaze seems to fall on the corner where Ginny is now sitting by herself, playing with the cat.
And Sirius, bless him, notices it. He barely contains a grin.
“So, you get what I mean, right? When you find the one, you know you did. Someone with whom you really connect, someone who makes you laugh, who gets you. You don’t waste your time snogging anyone else…”
Harry blinks, suddenly pulled back to Earth. “Snogging?” His gaze is suspicious. “Who said anything about me… snogging?”
“No one. This is not the point, I just—”
“It’s late, I should get some sleep.” Harry glances helplessly at Remus, who nods.
“We’ll leave for St Mungo’s early tomorrow,” he agrees.
“Right.” Sirius looks as flustered as Harry does. “But Harry—you understood what I said? About the one—”
“Yes, yes.” Now Harry is almost at the door. “Good night!”
Remus gives him a few seconds before shaking his head at Sirius. “You should not have—”
“I just did what I am sure James and Lily would like me to do. They would adore Ginny.” The mischief is back on Sirius’ eyes. “Speaking of—I heard Ginny might be dating someone, I think she needs a piece of advice as well.”
“Fred and George have mentioned her Bat Bogey Hex—” But Sirius is not listening to him anymore, already crossing the room. Remus sighs as he sits to watch the scene; he supposes he could use a last laugh before going to bed.
Andrew : doesnt make a PowerPoint but critiques everyone else's
Neil : gives a tour of europe with the best spots and worst spots
Kevin : critiques all of their plays individually its not supposed to be funny but its so in character and the foxes are so drunk it ends up being hilarious
Nicky and aaron : they make eachother powerpoints that they have to bullshit their way through. Nicky has to explain straight sex in detail whilst aaron ranks drag queens.
Dan : recounts all of the worst fox media moments with dramatic reenactments
Allison : just a slam down roast of each person
Renee : how she would manage to survive in different fictional worlds and who of the fixes she'd bring to help her
Matt : teaching neil specifically pop culture references
nothing sexier than that picture with the italian players on top of eachother after the win and the english ones going through the 5 stages of grief in the back
we are behind (long story, longer year). but unless anything goes horrifically sideways, best guess is sometime December for 2 and 2025 for 3. please do not ask me WHEN in 2025 or I will kms, thx lovies bye <3
ellievsbear
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yousharknotpass
turnnoffyourmind
