hlo

24 - autistic - bi cis girl

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"But narcissistic abuse is a specific kind of abuse that only narcissists are capable of. It's not just typical abuse."

Really? Then why does everything people say about narcissists perfectly describe police, bosses, and landlords?

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

narcissists when they discover their disregard for humanity has given them en masse an economic and societal advantage always at the expense of others:

[sillypuppybrr]

ableists when they discover that's not actually how this fucking disorder works. fucking shut up. it's a DISORDER.

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

autism is sometimes considered a disorder, and it can enable people to do things like be extraordinarily good at a specific skill or hobby. ehlers-danlos syndrome is considered a disorder, but it allows some people to be contortionists. of course there are significant limitations that can come with these conditions, but sometimes the symptoms of a disorder can be profitable or useful.

the thing about narcissism though is that the few "positive" things associated with it (such as wealth or charisma) deliberately come at other people's expense. once you go above a certain cap of wealth, you had to have stepped over a few bodies to get it. sure you can be charismatic but that's what can be used to lull people into a false sense of security.

narcissism is like a neuropathy of the soul: yeah it must suck to be numb or blunted, but if you can't feel as much pain, then there's no need to consider the consequences or fallout of your actions until they catch up to you.

[sillypuppybrr]

do not fucking use autism or eds to excuse your bullshit. trust me, we feel pain. go fuck yourself. as an autistic disabled person. eds is DISABLING for so fucking many. oh where's my fucking wealth as a poor npd person huh? where's my numbness to fucking pain? I'd love to know, asshole.

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

i meant emotional pain, you numbskull. you wondering where your wealth is because of your npd, is like a racist expecting white privilege to work like a credit card. it's because even though you have the lack of conscience nailed down, you (thankfully) lack the connections or skills to obtain more power or hoard wealth.

most narcissists work individually on a relatively small scale: as parents, lovers, bosses, police officers, et cetera. but all of these have some form of power or authority over the people in their immediate circles. power they will inevitably abuse.

the last thing these people need is a place to assemble and enable each other. and the last place that needs to be is in a tag meant for victims of people like you.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"But narcissistic abuse is a specific kind of abuse that only narcissists are capable of. It's not just typical abuse."

Really? Then why does everything people say about narcissists perfectly describe police, bosses, and landlords?

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

narcissists when they discover their disregard for humanity has given them en masse an economic and societal advantage always at the expense of others:

[sillypuppybrr]

ableists when they discover that's not actually how this fucking disorder works. fucking shut up. it's a DISORDER.

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

autism is sometimes considered a disorder, and it can enable people to do things like be extraordinarily good at a specific skill or hobby. ehlers-danlos syndrome is considered a disorder, but it allows some people to be contortionists. of course there are significant limitations that can come with these conditions, but sometimes the symptoms of a disorder can be profitable or useful.

the thing about narcissism though is that the few "positive" things associated with it (such as wealth or charisma) deliberately come at other people's expense. once you go above a certain cap of wealth, you had to have stepped over a few bodies to get it. sure you can be charismatic but that's what can be used to lull people into a false sense of security.

narcissism is like a neuropathy of the soul: yeah it must suck to be numb or blunted, but if you can't feel as much pain, then there's no need to consider the consequences or fallout of your actions until they catch up to you.

[midimon-mad]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other destigmatized mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

there's no such thing as patience with narcs because no amount of it could be enough. no amount of love could be enough. no amount of understanding would be enough. no amount of supply would be enough. it's not just that you were destined to be empty; it's the fact that you insist on taking from everyone else and then blaming them for never. being. enough. you will never be truly grateful.

if you have to suffer, at least have the courtesy not to drag others down with you. and if you have to do pr work for the shittiest people, at least have the courtesy not to post in a tag meant for SURVIVORS of people like you. being nice didn't work the first, second, or tenth time with you, and it sure as hell won't work now.

[corbinite]

I see you changed the part where you suicide baited a stranger in order to make it yourself look less downright evil. But the fact that you even had that moment where you INVENTED that a total stranger was inhuman based only on a label, and then suicide baited them, that reveals a lot about your motives here. If you actually wanted to make it right you should have deleted this whole comment. But you didn't, you just cleaned it up to look less evil

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

i didn't change shit. i just reblogged it twice. maybe telling them to die was a little drastic but i think if you try to post in victims' spaces asking for people to enable and ignore your shittiness, you aren't entitled to nice words

let's say there is a tag made by people of color for people of color about the racism they endured. it would be incredibly shitty for a white person to not only post there, but make it about their own feelings that pale in comparison to actual racism.

except narcissism is a double-edged sword, as it usually comes from trauma. so in this case the white person would be irish or jewish (as they have also faced oppression from other white people,) yet also have the audacity to put their white feelings before the livelihoods of people of color.

these tags exist for a reason. i didn't just wake up one day and go "let's spin the wheel of scapegoats today and pick on narcissists." i'm punching up. not down. remember that.

[s0mber-radi0-deactivated2024021]

KEEP EYES ON SUDAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DONT LET THEIR SUFFERING GO UNSEEN OR UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[nsaint1]

PSA:

NEVER build your confidence based off of people’s opinions about you, good or bad. Your confidence needs to be based on solely what YOU think about yourself. You need to understand that you are beautiful alone, you are special alone, you are intelligent alone, and you are fine as hell, alone. YOU DO NOT need others opinions. When your confidence comes from within NOBODY can take it away.

[pathologising]

I think I gonna be homeless 🥰🥰🥰😍😍😍

[pathologising]

I am very stressed lol but anyway being an ebeggar because well this is all I got chief! I need help with a few things. My rent for my new place is 700 a month, but the deposit is 350 so I need that. Plus I need another 300 for my tuition payment plan for school asseen below

So I'm just hoping for some help woth the initial deposit and tuition which would be around 650.50 total :( literally anything js appreciated ! I can't take out a student loan (no cosigner) nd I'm trying to avoid a personal loan as much as possible !! Any help os appreciated again thank u so much

Cshapp + vnmo are angelophie

Pypall is pathologising

Pls boost if u can <3

[pathologising]

Hai everyone I moved into my new apartment but I cld rly use help woth rent this month bc I was out of work for a week so now I'm gonna be short on some stuff :/

[nothing0fnothing]

"If you're gonna call it narcissistic abuse you also need a word for autistic abuse and bipolar abuse and depression abuse!!"

Bold of you to assume that we mean your disorder when we're discussing abuse and not, yanno, the very common term that existed for centuries before your disorder had a name.

[ispyspookymansion]

i dont need therapy i need to be 8 years old at halloween again

[heavensickness]

Magnolias are so ancient plants that almost every other plant and insect who came to being around the same time as them has gone extinct by now. They are the loneliest plants in this world. Does anybody understand how much grief it gives me that the symbolic flower of Kuras is magnolia.

[blairwitchapologist]

may i please direct your attention to the poem dinosaurs smelled magnolias by dalton day!!!!!

[one-abuse-survivor]

Often times, abusers will get us to stay in the abusive situation by convincing us that they'd die without us—that we're responsible for taking care of them, that we're the only people they have left in this world. This guilt-tripping tactic can be as blatant as threatening to harm themselves if you leave them, but it can also be more subtle.

Sometimes, they do it through snide remarks about how your purpose in life is to take care of them when they're elderly, because the alternative would be for them to rot in a retirement home, which would be the death of them.

Sometimes, they do it by coming to you for comfort when they cry or they're hurt or scared. The same person who has yelled at you, insulted you, and belittled you, comes to you in moments of vulnerability and desperately seeks your comfort, making you feel responsible for their emotions.

Sometimes, they do it by thanking you for being the only person who's stayed by their side and not given up on them despite all their flaws.

Sometimes, they'll use their personal struggles (mental illnesses, financial problems, family issues...) to paint themselves as martyrs and anyone who doesn't prioritise their every whim as selfish and toxic.

If you can relate to feeling guilty for wanting to leave your abuser when they've made it clear you'd be hurting them terribly if you did, this reminder is for you:

Your responsibility is to take care of yourself. And just the same way, it's your abuser's responsibility—and not yours—to take care of themselves.

Your safety and well-being always come first, and it's never wrong to prioritise your safety over your abuser's. Yes, even if they're threatening to harm themselves. Yes, even if they're crying about how lost they'll be without you. Yes, even if they've spent years thanking you for being the only person who still loves them.

There is no situation an abuser—or any person—can be in that overrides your right to prioritise your own safety and well-being. And if you ever decide to prioritise someone else, it should always be that: a decision. Not an obligation.

And lastly, when they tell you you'll hurt them if you leave, this is what they're actually saying:

“You're hurting me by not wanting me to hurt you.”

[traumadrauma]

hey y’all wanna talk about a lesser talked about trauma effect?

loss of autonomy.

not knowing how to do anything without explicit permission or instruction.

feeling like you’ll get in trouble if you do anything on your own will.

waiting until you’re given permission to do so much as eat.

not feeling like your body is your own.

if you experience this you aren’t broken or alone. you were abused and traumatized and conditioned to be like this. remember you belong to nobody but yourself. you are and will be okay.

[nonegenderleftpain]

When I moved out of my mom's house to live with my dad, I was terrified constantly. I asked for permission to get a glass of water, or food from the fridge. It took me almost a year to feel comfortable doing survival tasks without asking for permission, and I STILL struggle with it sometimes, even though it's been like 7 years. This isn't stuff that just goes away overnight, but it DOES get better, and you are not alone.

[informationsorter]

I used to be paralysed by this exact thing - and no one has ever put it into words before in a way that makes me think “yes, this person knows exactly what I experience”. It’s been 8 years since I started healing and addressing this problem. I still have days where I find myself with this same old mindset, but I am getting better at employing the techniques my therapist taught me, and sometimes I am able to get out of that trauma trap.

[midimon-mad]

the thing that gets me the most about ableism against pd’s is that ppl will be like “these disorders make you an ASSHOLE!!!!” and then turn around and pretend that other disorders can’t and don’t make you act shitty.

depression and anxiety can make you irritable and snappy. they can cause you to refuse to listen to people and to be distant and withdrawn. they can cause you to seem angry, bitchy, rude, uncaring, etc.

ptsd causes an array of difficulties in forming meaningful relationships. it pretty much shakes up your entire worldview and sense of self a lot of the time. ptsd can cause you to get angry often. it can cause you to yell and scream. it can cause you to withdraw from others, run away, or cut them out. it can cause general changes in demeanor and more cynical worldviews. it can make you seem grouchy, negative, explosive, impolite, difficult, needy, controlling, etc.

and yet when people with personality disorders have symptoms of that nature, suddenly we are irredeemable monsters. when it’s npd, bpd, hpd, or aspd instead of ptsd or depression and anxiety, people suddenly and magically lose the ability to be understanding.

mental illness is an explanation, not an excuse. i firmly believe that. hurting others is never justified simply because you have any disorder.

but if you can be patient with people who have depression, anxiety, ptsd, ocd, or any other destigmatized mental illness, you can be patient with us.

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

there's no such thing as patience with narcs because no amount of it could be enough. no amount of love could be enough. no amount of understanding would be enough. no amount of supply would be enough. it's not just that you were destined to be empty; it's the fact that you insist on taking from everyone else and then blaming them for never. being. enough. you will never be truly grateful.

if you have to suffer, at least have the courtesy not to drag others down with you. and if you have to do pr work for the shittiest people, at least have the courtesy not to post in a tag meant for SURVIVORS of people like you. being nice didn't work the first, second, or tenth time with you, and it sure as hell won't work now.

[quitblamingnarcissism]

"But narcissistic abuse is a specific kind of abuse that only narcissists are capable of. It's not just typical abuse."

Really? Then why does everything people say about narcissists perfectly describe police, bosses, and landlords?

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

narcissists when they discover their disregard for humanity has given them en masse an economic and societal advantage always at the expense of others:

[quitblamingnarcissism]

People become narcissists as a response to trauma from being abused.

So it's possible to define "narcissistic abuse" as someone who suffered and in response wants others to suffer in the same way.

But that's still not a good definition, because it's normalized by society and nowhere near exclusive to narcissists. It describes every parent who spanks, who enforces oppressive gender roles, or who prioritizes good grades over their child's mental health. It describes everyone who opposes student loan forgiveness because they already paid theirs or because they have other types of debt. It describes everyone who opposes a minimum wage increase because "then they'll make as much as me".

[shewhowalksbehindtherows]

narcissists don't necessarily want us to suffer, it's that they don't care if we do. nobody with a conscience would do the shit they do, let alone give it a pass.

that's most likely why you post narc apologia in a tag that is supposed to be for survivors, not caring if you're triggering them with your subhumanitarian efforts. if you see nothing wrong with inviting yourself to a community built on the suffering you cause, please consider suicide

[wendi-bnkywuv]

Calling narc abuse/emotional abuse “ableist” IS ableist!

After 25 long years, I’ve realized that I’ve been living with a covert narcissistic abuser. My own maternal unit, the one that I’ve tried so hard to love me…is abusive. Responsible for the many psychological afflictions I now have. Granted, at first, autosexual and autoromanticism may sound akin to narcissism, but upon a deeper dive, I found out that they’re very different things.

Back on point. Amidst my searching for some healthy positivity, I came across some troubling posts. I am deeply, deeply saddened by this ‘ableist’ trend going around. No. Not even saddened. It is downright scary.

It is insulting and offensive to suggest that narcissistic abuse is somehow harmful to point out. People who ARE BEING ABUSED SHOULD NEVER have to say they’re sorry for being abused. People who are being abused SHOULD NEVER have to say it’s ABLEIST to speak about their abuse and get help. We should not be gaslighting, and further silencing victims OF REAL ABUSE just because this “neurodiveregence” spiel has taken off.

We suffer each and every single day of our lives walking on eggshells if we live with a narcissist, OR HAVE PREVIOUSLY lived with one. People DO suffer extreme, even lifelong mental and physical health problems from being silenced by the abuser, and now, this movement has further stigmatized, and WILL continue to stigmatize victims from speaking truth. This toxic positivity is dangerous for those who are victims of abuse.

The narcissists who RARELY TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY for the many lives they ruin every day is being cast in the wrong light with these sick twisted values and movements. It not only is harmful for those who are CURRENTLY going through this abuse, or who HAVE PREVIOUSLY been abused, it sets up the framework that others in the future should just put up with the abuse because it’s “abelist’ to speak up about it.

I know, I know. “but people who are narcissists or emotionally abusive were often abused as children! You should be ashamed of calling them abusers!!!” Big. Fat. NO! Being abused as a child or ANY TIME is NO excuse for abusing others. If you didn’t like being treated a certain way, but you choose to do so anyway, IT IS YOUR OWN DAMNED FAULT! Do NOT blame the victim, and STOP enabling abusers and silencing voices of real harm!

In some cases, the abuser can, and DOES choose their behavior. In public, they’re charismatic. Loving. Life of the party. As soon as you get in private, their mask comes off and you’re exposed to their abuse. Does that seem like they cannot control themselves? It is a choice in many cases, and YOU, THE VICTIM, can see it where others don’t, and CANNOT. Just because NO ONE else sees this abuse or believes you when you speak up DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD PUT UP WITH IT! It also does NOT MAKE IT INVALID! if this happening to you or someone you love, please get yourself or them the help they or you deserve.

Narcissists will have better lives than those who ARE OR HAVE BEEN ABUSED!!! Victims will have to suffer a lifetime of trauma, nightmares, PTSD, self harm, self blame, feelings of being worthless. VICTIMS ARE NOT ABELISTS!!!! Victims ARE VICTIMS!!!

Victims are already blaming themselves. We do NOT need further self blame, self hatred, and abuse from those who are unwilling to understand, who enjoy blaming the victims, or worse, who don’t care.

I’d like to end this with some rational positivity.

If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, YOUR SUFFERING IS VALID AND REAL! People CAN help you. Someone WILL help you. If you cannot get help, please, find ways to help yourself and keep yourself safe!

Please. If you are a victim of this, DO NOT PERSONALIZE TOXIC POSITIVITY SUCH AS CALLING OUT ABUSE AS ABELIST or excusing the abusive behavior as ‘depression” “anxiety’ or “anger issues” or just “a bad day”!!!

Do NOT listen to these people or their posts! YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT! You matter. You ARE important! Your story SHOULD be heard and listened to! You DESERVE better! You DESERVE self love, self respect, and love from others, I mean REAL self love, and REAL self respect, NOT superficial, hollow self love. You’re BIGGER, BETTER, AND matter so much more than the abusers and those who enable them!

My heart goes out to all of you who have gone through or are currently going through abuse. You’re worth love, and deserve unconditional love.

[brooksview]

🍌

[lompyart]

Day 4 of my pokemon art by color, orange! 🍊 I’m getting my daily dose of Vitamin C just by looking at these guys 👁️👁️ follow to see the whole rainbow 🌈 & all of these are available as stickers or keychains!