The New Face of Failure

WHACK

[loverslaundry-deactivated202201]

every august its like. u will feel happy but also unbearably sad

[tropiyas]

conditioning my opponent

[tropiyas]

shampooing my opponent

[tropiyas]

we’re making out in the shower

[thebootydiaries]

[serpentmythos]

This tag has me dying

[cascadiarch]

[strawdogs]

growing up on tumblr is weird bc they let you say anything on here except show tits but on tiktok you have to censor curse words and say things like d1e and then instagram calls it hate speech for saying u dislike men

[idk-my-aesthetic]

They used to let us show tits

[old-manrupee]

They used to let us show tits

[ledzepplin]

[jojordan-art-deactivated2025120]

[trickmaster29]

[eileennatural]

it's so important for your health and well-being to get overly attached to a fictional man who is both deeply amoral and unbelievably, pathetically sad

[catboybot]

boys in fishnets? whats that? im a visual learner by the way

[it-was-a-joke-bitch]

[funnytwittertweets]

[songsofwaterandnight]

[songsofwaterandnight]

@oniongarlic

[oniongarlic]

HI ITS ME

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*alleviates your anxiety by replacing it with new, less relevant anxiety”

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

*distracts you from the state of the world by giving you a phobia of blue whales* 

[noodles-07]

Gaud its just a whale. Have you ever met a blue whale? It won’t hurt you.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

listen fucker, whale songs can be twice as loud as a fucking jet engine, more than loud enough to burst eardrums, paralyze limbs and cause organ damage at close range. sperm whales, the loudest animal on the planet, could literally vibrate a human body to death. the sheer fact they don’t is either ignorance, choice, or lack of opportunity–not inability. as for blue whales (aka the biggest creature to exist ever despite the fact that megafauna roamed the earth for tens of millions of years before these fucks came around), well a blue whale’s corpse is capable of literally exploding from gas buildup. and that’s not even getting into my extreme visceral discomfort surrounding whale falls aka the process of a whale carcass falling abyssal depths of thousands and thousands of feet, just falling through the fucking water to the ocean floor and creating a complex localized ecosystem capable of sustaining who-knows-what kind of deep-sea terrors for decades, so kindly get fucked. 

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

#and just like that you’re not thinking of coronavirus anymore

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[narcissusneverknewme]

thank you for this free trial. I would like to unsubscribe from your service

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

this is a hostage situation pay up

[fantasiawandering]

So when we had the blue whale exhibition at the museum, there was a section on the whale call, and how it was below the range of human hearing, but sailors could FEEL it shaking the boat. And the curators actually found out that there’s a certain type of speaker that can duplicate the effect. But it also had a tendency to cause people to spontaneously void their bowels, so they opted not to go for accuracy in this particular case.

[biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist]

[frozenpinesmp3]

his voicemail is “make your voice a mail” hes literally the best character of all time

[omghotmemes]

We did it boys. We did it.

[low-poly-yuri]

a message from the man himself

[cringelock]

i do not get queerbaited im simply correct all the time. whether the show catches up eventually or not is no great concern of mine

[cosmos-kitty]

I've made so many astronaut themed artworks over the years now, these are some of my favourites ♡

[cuteys]

[theballgame]

if psychic Pokemon glow like in the anime when they use their telekinesis or whatever I bet that like at least once a week their trainer sees them glowing with no floating item in sight and have to be like “WHAT ARE YOU FLOATING? WHAT DO YOU HAVE” like when your cat is chewing something you didn’t feed them