Alright, Alright, Alright!!! @shread-indeed - Tumblr Blog

Follow up on the whole BDI thing

...I didn't make it.

Honestly I knew I was kind of a long shot anyway, but a small part of me really wanted to believe that I could've made it. I'm bummed out. I busted my butt for 3 weeks to prepare for this audition, and in the end, it didn't work out. And that's okay. That's life.

Here's a few things I took from this experience:

You can really try hard for something, like give it your best effort, and in the end it still might not work the way you want it to. But the fact that you didn't get the desired result doesn't invalidate the blood, sweat, and tears that you put into said thing. Am I bummed I didn't get in? Of course. But I'm still proud of the work I did in the process.

When you put your mind to something, all of the small inconveniences that come up as you're pursuing it become less of an issue. This is because your mind is focusing on solving the inconveniences as opposed to worrying about them. For real. One of the biggest issues for me was finding a field to practice on, in a city that I've lived in for barely a year. But because I'd already set my mind to going for this audition, that didn't hold me back. I messaged a bunch of band directors in the area (all of whom I've never met) and found a field to practice on. This would've stopped me dead in my tracks before.

When your why (motivation) is strong enough, you can do things that you previously thought were impossible. I actually attempted to audition for BDI two times before this. Both times I gave up before I could even sending in an audition video. I let myself back out. Also, I'm not very good at sticking to goals I set for myself. I've told myself that I'd do things so many times in the past, only to flake out. But this time was different. I was so hell bent on seeing this audition through to the end, and that drove me to complete it. I was so sick of flaking, so sick of wondering "what if I'd just seen it through". I just wanted so badly to be able to say "I had the balls to audition for the Blue Devils", and that pushed me the whole way. That motivation carried me forward, and I was able to see it through. I'm not gonna say that I didn't struggle, because I definitely did, but having that "why" helped me refocus on those down days.

Even though I'm bummed that I didn't make Blue Devils International, I'm proud of myself. I had the guts to go for something I wanted, and see it through to the end. I did the best I could with my audition. And I know that whether I made the group or not, I have no regrets, because I did my part. I tried out, and learned from this experience. And that's all that matters.

#wil learns things

I had the balls to audition for the Blue Devils International Corps.

And I'm really proud of myself for actually following through with it.

Yo my anxiety is kicking my ass.

I'm trying my damnedest to go for this audition though. I really am. But I'm tired, I'm stressed, and I'm unsure. Clearly it's more challenging than I expected. But its doable. I'm just hitting a rough patch right now is all. But I'mma be good. I just have to keep trying my best. It's not gonna be perfect, but it'll be as close as I can get it. Gotta remember, the goal is to complete the audition.

Completion. Leave it out on the field. To have done my best and given as much as I can. So I can honestly say, I have no regrets. I did my best.

I want that feeling more than anything. Because I know if I have the balls to go out for the Blue Devils, the TOP drum corps in DCI, I can do anything.

I'm doing this to prove it to myself. To prove what I already know. I'm capable. I can make it work. I can do this.

comfy-precision

In this episode of Tomica Hero Rescue Fire, one of the heroes’ gigantic, high-tech fire engines is damaged beyond repair. Tatsuya, the leader of Rescue Fire, mourns the loss of this fire engine as if it were alive.

A little boy joins Tatsuya by saying goodbye to a beloved toy.

So the lesson is that it’s okay to become really attached to familiar belongings, and to miss them when they are lost or broken. And a healthy way to deal with that is modeled: Say “Thank you” and “Goodbye.”

ineffectualdemon

“Babies only cry if they are hungry, need changing, or need to be picked up”

Lies

Babies (and small children) also cry for reasons such as:

1. “I am tired and that makes me angry”

2. “I scared myself with a fart”

3. “You are the wrong parent”

4. “I ran into something with my face”

5. “I’m facing the opposite direction then the one I want to”

6. “I fell asleep in one place and woke up somewhere completely different”

7. “I am a very small person in a very big world”

8. “I got scared because YOU farted”

Babies have more then 3 states of being and sometimes you just have to hold them and bounce them gently while saying solemnly “yes it is very hard to be a baby” because frankly it is

aconfusedbird

you have to remember that when you’re that tiny… pretty much any bad thing that happens to you is LITERALLY the WORST thing that has ever happened in your life. they have no perspective. everything is awful. help them

let-tyrants-fear

#everything is happening for the first time and they cant even google it

sarahboev

Lil’ Kamen Rider for Pixel Dailies!

fabulous-bree

Tumblr: on December 17 we will hide adult content

My blog the next day: gets followed by 3 porn bots

#but where is the lie?

porterr-robinson

doctor-roman

@sarkhanvolkswagen

0deerling0-inactive

If you’re one of those people who thinks executive dysfunction only happens for things we don’t like (school, cleaning,) then please consider the fact that I’ve been meaning to plug my phone in for 20 minutes and I’m now at 2% and still putting it off to write this post ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

hawkeyedflame

My anime/video game list consists of over 100 titles, easily, and yet I almost never get around to watching/playing any of them.

Executive dysfunction is not just for boring or unenjoyable things. It’s for everything. Even eating.

biphobicerasurer

What is executive dysfunction? O.o

hawkeyedflame

Put simply, it’s difficulty/inability with initiating tasks. The prefrontal cortex is responsible for executive functions, like decision-making and impulse control. People with ADHD and other neurological disorders that affect the prefrontal cortex often experience difficulty making decisions and performing tasks, as well as exercising self restraint. Part of why people with ADHD tend to procrastinate so badly is out of genuine inability to begin tasks, even if they’re very important.

It feels, for me at least, like I’m constantly waiting for something and I can’t start X task because I’m waiting. I never know what exactly I’m waiting for, but that doesn’t stop me from wasting hours and days not doing the things I need to do, even if I have a desire to do them.

ewanmrozny

It feels, for me at least, like I’m constantly waiting for something and I can’t start X task because I’m waiting. I never know what exactly I’m waiting for, but that doesn’t stop me from wasting hours and days not doing the things I need to do, even if I have a desire to do them.

Oh thank god, someone put it into words.

For me it’s also waiting for the “right” time to come to complete the task because for some reason my brain thinks doing the task at any other time is horribly, horribly wrong, weird, and out of order. The “right” time might come eventually, might not. It’s a lottery.

lady-feral

Yeah. This.

silvermoonphantom

Y’all make it sound so deep but tbh to me it feels like tapping on the ‘Do the dishes’ button but a screen pops up saying ‘you must be lvl 27 to do this activity’ and I’m like ‘well shit I’m only lvl 26 so I guess I’ll just dick around until my exp goes up

And then next time I tap ‘do the dishes’ it demands I’m lvl 28 and by that time it’s getting a bit moldy and I’m just staring furiously at this pile of dishes, slapping the ‘Do the Dishes’ button to no avail. The stars aren’t in position.

The stars are never in position.

cumaeansibyl

sometimes there’s a Just Fucking Do It special move available but it depletes your entire power bar and the recharge speed is completely unpredictable

spite-cadet

I click Do Thing and it loads to 78% and then stays that way for 3 days

kaylapocalypse-deactivated20201

For me it’s like a notification pops up saying “The dishes need doing. You have 4 seconds to comply. If you do not comply within the allotted time, “Do Dishes” feature will become unavailable for 3 weeks.” And if I don’t get up literally that instant and force myself to do the task, and wait even like 3-5 minutes, it becomes like when u open an un-dismissible window and accidentally click outside the box and your computer makes that chime noise to let you know that the option to click outside the box (do the dishes) doesn’t exist. And then I’m just laying there like “ding…ding……ding….” until 3 weeks has passed and I’m given another 4 seconds to seize the opportunity to do the dishes.

hey-look-a-squirrel

That last one is 100% yes.

bellfry

The worst part is that, rather than being able as an adult to get assistance or accommodation, you are castigated for personal failure. It’s especially hard on those of us who grew up without a diagnosis and never got any sort of therapy to learn to deal with it. Just decade after decade of escalating crisis.

dankmemeuniversity

halftruthsandhyperbole

Today I learned

ouijubell

Free Audiobooks and Ebooks on OVERDRIVE.

Free Graphic Novels (DC, Marvel, Image, etc), Music, TV shows, and music on HOOPLA.

Free music that you can KEEP on FREEGAL

You are PAYING for all this with your tax money - USE THEM. Most likely systems will have all 3 or 2 out of 3, so if you aren’t sure call your local library’s reference/information desk and how you can get set-up or started.

horrorinthegraveyard

Hey, highkey from a library worker:

Overdrive has a new mobile app called LIBBY I find it easier to use. It’s the same content as Overdrive just better for mobile. Overdrive and Libby both let you send items to your kindle as well.