When I read stories, when I listen to people, I am always baffled, by the endurance of their emotions.
I know emotions can be intense. Consuming. But I never could understand how that intensity could last.
My emotions can grow sharp. I can feel sadness and anger, but I never have lasting grief or rage.
The feelings resurface, sure. A blip then gone. Like sand washed smooth. Sand slipping through my fingers.
When I am not drowning in an emotion, it's like they're muted. Echos exist. I know that I do not want to be involved with certain people. I know there are others that I will side with.
But I cannot hate for long. I cannot love either. Preferences. Avoidance. But the emotions do not last.
Maybe I just do not have enough room for them. Or maybe I am not meant to hold them. Like a bowl with cracks.
I wonder if something is wrong with me.








































