Cosmic Funnies
Xuebing Du
Today's Document
Stranger Things

pixel skylines
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
ojovivo
occasionally subtle
h
Game of Thrones Daily
Not today Justin
Sweet Seals For You, Always
noise dept.
Claire Keane

roma★
Misplaced Lens Cap
hello vonnie
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
$LAYYYTER

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@silverbrook123
Katara, keep that up. The pressure will build up in the drill, then when Aang delivers the final blow, it will be ready to pop!
sometimes i’m like ‘fanfiction can’t shock me anymore i’m numb to it’ then i find this shit
every moment of a cumulative thirteen years of catholic education is simultaneously screaming out in agony at this reply
Tbh the only way an average-looking guy could get 12 hot guys to follow him around and hang off his every word is if he’s the only top
Obviously Christ was a top, the Catholic Church keeps reminding us he’s inside everyone, and the one and only time he got nailed, it took him three days to recover.
So ain’t nobody gonna ask OP what they were doing looking for Jesus/Judas fanfiction?
trying to find jesus/judas fanfiction to read i thought that was obvious
thijs is so???
humans are not the only animal to engage in homosexual activity, but they are the only animal that engage in being homophobic. (source)
wrong i limped my wrist at my cat and he attacked me
What production of Heathers is this
This one
Might I add: You didn’t think I would fucking notice?
Pathetic.
Y’all fuckers better stop giving me ideas
WHAT ABOUT HOGWARTS HUH????
Ask and ye shall recive
WAIT UP I JUST GOTTA MAKE SOMETHING
Long ago the four nations lived in harmony...
I literally CANT with this post fidhdnd
Ah. I’m in hell.
i kept scrolling hoping to find the heritageposts date but then i realized this was made within the last year. hellsite.
That just means that it will be a heritagepost someday.
Political Compass
this feels like a 2012 post
Wii sports: tennis unstrapped
POV: you’re the first LCD tv your parents bought in 2008
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.
You missed some of the best ones
the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.
How could you forget this one though
I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.
someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?
Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.
Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.
Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”
ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!
I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life
im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands
Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:
Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple
I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.
Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor
He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god
It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.
An older project, but he also did this:
(x)
oh dude hes metal as fuck
Every addition to this post is better than the last.
Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)
Be a Stuart Semple in 2020. Use your petty to inspire and drive you.
i still do not understand what possessed so many well-respected actors to do the spy kids movies like
did they pay really well? did you want these beautiful, terrible movies to be a blemish on your career forever?? why
antonio banderas did so many high-profile movies then in spy kids he looked like this
tony shalhoub has won multiple emmys but he did spy kids and
even fucking george clooney wtf
steve buscemi is pretty goofy but still
salma hayek’s pigtails in this wow
elijah wood was the lead in a movie that’s tied for the largest number of oscars of all time and he played a character creatively named “THE GUY”
sylvester stallone is like a cultural icon and he played not one but FOUR ridiculously dressed weirdos
alan cumming is the only one i can understand
Spy Kids is a national treasure
how dare you talk about spy kids as though it is not the most brilliant franchise ever created
They did Spy Kids cuz Spy Kids fuckin SLAPS. Bad post op
Real answer: because Robert Rodriguez’s experience working with Tarantino lead to him developing a way to make movies with essentially no budget AND made him a lot of friends in Hollywood, plus he was making these movies specifically for his kids and had such an infectious energy about it, he was a joy to work with and those big-name actors did it almost for free.
So, basically, they did it for fun. Is that it?
Yeah, and because it was very little work, the movies were shot in record time almost entirely on greenscreen.
who the fuck is this man im seeing him everywhere
its bigfoot. and i doubt youre seeing him everywhere since his kind are endangered.
whos the guy in the first pic
This is what Rasputin would've wanted.
I feel like I'm being seduced like one of those fancy rainforest birds
This high school drumline’s incredible performance included only drumstick
Impressive
My thoughts as I watched:
“Heh, that’s cute.”
“Okay, that’s cool.”
“Dude.”
*reblogs*
Also shout out to their ugly Christmas sweaters
As former drumline… dude… that was impressive…
What else did they expect?
My generation, generation Z, is going to be the one that changes things for good. In America, after yet another school shooting, instead of just accepting the “our thoughts and prayers to the families” that is normally said, the students actually did something. They began to stand up and speak for harsher gun control laws. These same STUDENTS organised one of the largest protests in AMERICAN HISTORY, with an estimated 1.2 - 2 million people taking part in over 800 cities world wide.
We are a generation raised in a society of “girls rule boys drool”, of girls being given toy kitchens and hoovers whilst boys played with cars, Lego and army men, of girls being told to wear skirts and be careful to sit so you don’t accidentally flash your underwear whilst boys were told to run free and do whatever they want.
But, we are also the generation that grew up on a diet of tales about heroes and villains where the heroes stand up and win. We grew up on Percy Jackson, Harry Potter, The Hunger Games, Divergent and Marvel movies. All things where the heroes fight back and WIN. But then the adults stripped away our hope, our futures and then backed an unqualified business man for president over a woman with political experience and they’re shocked children are fighting back. They’re surprise that we’re all like the heroes we grew up with. What else did they expect when we are the generation raised in the aftermath of 911, the recession, the Iraq war, the 7/7 bombings and increasing numbers of terror attacks? We grew up with Disney movies that taught us to speak our minds, to let ourselves to be heard and now this generation has begun to speak out.
In the word of Thomas Jefferson, the 3rd President of the United States,
“Every generation needs a new revolution.”
This is ours. In America, they fight for stricter gun control laws. Everywhere, we fight for equality for EVERYBODY.
The generations that came before us may have began the battle for equality, but we’re the generation that will fix it.
It was always going to be us.
Why wouldn’t it be us?
This is their fight song
“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the Universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”
― Ariana Dancu
i can’t talk shit about the pirates of the caribbean films as if elizabeth swann becoming pirate king didn’t hand my entire ass to me and make me the gay i am today
these 2 looks basically defined my sexuality and i’m not afraid to admit it
things pirates of the caribbean got right:
1. will and elizabeth’s love story
2. elizabeth becoming pirate king
3. avoiding sexualizing elizabeth or the other female pirate characters in the first 3 films by allowing them to wear period-accurate pirate outfits that aren’t tailored to be revealing and impractical for ‘sex appeal’ just because they’re women
4. hans zimmer’s entire score but especially the iconic ‘he’s a pirate’ main theme
5. When the movie came out, morally-gray characters like Jack were actually not really a thing yet in pop culture, and it’s not Pirates’ fault that there are a ton of stupid shitty copycats out there.
6. I run a corseting panel at cons and literally use Elizabeth’s lace-up scene as a video clip of what historical corseting was actually like, because the only thing they got wrong in this scene is that tightlacing wouldn’t be a thing for about another 200 years (and you couldn’t tightlace with the corset style Elizabeth is wearing anyway). It’s one of the most accurate corseting scenes I’ve ever seen.
7. Will’s hat.
8. That scene with all the pirates on the gallows where that little boy starts singing Hoist the Colours? Yeah, that’s fucking legendary. The rest of AWE was kind of a trash fire, but that scene gave me goosebumps.
9. There’s this great shot in the first one where they really drive home the class differences inherent in this time period by having the governor talking about progress and civilization to Elizabeth in their carriage, and then they cut to a shot outside the carriage where a beggar gets splashed by mud from the wheel. It’s a perfect way to underline that everything is not, in fact, a nice little upper-class fairytale, and to give some weight to Will’s storyline, because he has a lot more in common with that beggar than with the governor.
10. For its time, the CGI was fucking amazing.
11. And let’s not forget the work of the makeup department, which had to actually invent new ways of putting on makeup for this movie.
12. The governor’s death scene. Holy shit.
13. They could have gone with a Jack/Will/Elizabeth love triangle, but they didn’t. There are some hints Jack is in love (or at least in lust) with Elizabeth, but he recognizes that she loves Will, and that’s that.
14. You’ve got to admit that wedding was unique.
15. The introduction of fantasy elements to historical fiction outside of Tolkein-esque fantasy, and how it contributed to and expanded the Fantasy Media boom we’re still enjoying today.
1. They had a woman of colour play a goddess.
2. They had a woman pirate right in the first film, when the tradition is to only show male ones (hell, the PotC ride at Disney had a wench auction scene until recently). And it was a female pirate of colour at that!
3. Elizabeth may not have known how to fight in the first film, but she wasn’t helpless either. Her first instinct was to fight, but she also had the brains to recognize when it was best to hide instead. Plus when given the chance she stabbed Barbosa that one time.
4. Elizabeth’s lack of fighting ability was not simply because she was a woman, it was clear it was due to her societal circumstances, since we saw other women of different socioeconomic backgrounds being able to fight (and when given the opportunity to learn Elizabeth took to fighting like a duck on water).
5. The Hoist the Colours scene where we see pirates of multiple ethnicities and their varying flags, reminding us that pirates came in all shapes and sizes and weren’t just white men.
6. One of the Pirate Lords being yet ANOTHER woman of colour. She may not have had much of a speaking role if memory serves, but even her presence is already a big deal.
7. The pirates accepting their King is a woman without much fuss.
Pirates is amazing I will not here a bad word
Davy Jones CGI is legendary and a ton better than some of the stuff done today 😄
I’m pretty sure that female Chinese pirate was a nod to a real, documented female pirate king who was Chinese and had a whole fleet of ships at her disposal but I can’t remember her name rn
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ching_Shih
My favorite part about the Bretheren Court voting wasn’t that they were against Elizabeth for becoming King as a woman and newcomer. They were pissed at Jack for being a chaotic neutral who broke the decades long tradition of an egotistical stalemate by voting for someone besides himself.
Also, the deleted scenes from Black Pearl and At World’s End that divulge more of Jack’s troubled past, like how he was branded as a pirate by the East Indian Trading Company because he stole a ship full of slaves and freed them.
“People aren’t cargo, mate.”
karma got it’s kiss for you, donny?
if you’re his doctor you can kill him a little bit on purpose it’s okay