An Offbrand Milkshake

[sincerity-moi]

OKAY, but..... Night At the Museum as premise would be so good for so many genres (Let us, for this moment, ignore the actual movies and all of their cannon characters so that we can dig into this.)

Horror: Imagine it being told in this format, you’re looking for a job, it isn’t the best but you figure “hey, it pays, don’t it?” so you become a nightstaff person (Doesn’t have to be a guard, you could be cleaning or some shit). The exhibits aren’t always sentient/friendly, so you’ve got issues to work out and surviving is a bit harder than in the family film (plus you eventually get roped into whateverthehell which makes you keep the job despite it’s many dangers, maybe an exhibit tricks you into doing something that keeps you from quitting?, idk.)

Sci-Fi: It is already this from the get-go, but we can go so much more indepth with all of the weird mythology and magics/innerworkings which cause things to come alive (make the nitty gritty bits of how things work be a lot nittier and grittier and make them an integral part of the plot with plenty of weird little add-ons.)

Fantasy: Cannon, this is just the cannon.

Y/A: I’m sure I’m not the only one to get ideas for this one growing up, lol.

Romance: I mean...... yeah no, you can make of this one what you will (Some of the cannon ships work excellently and there is no end of potential OC plots which could be formed.)

I kind of forgot where I was going with this, but you get the gist.

[sincerity-moi]

Two of my fandoms converging (In spirit, these are my fandoms in spirit, because I have not made content for either of them lately) as the stars align for an extremely batshitfuckinginsane idea, but what if Ajin existed in the Sweet Tooth universe?....

I mean.... it is the apocalypses (Deadly virus, humanity literally having to evolve animal traits in order to avoid exstinction, some nasty-ass crusty motherfuckers playing at being a military.....)

There would be no end of things to cause somebody’s demise, and in a crossover a lot of immortals would be meeting theirs.

Random Human: “So......?”

Ajin: “.....”

Random Human: “You just died, and now you’re still here, ‘wanna elaborate on that?...”

Ajin: “Not particularly, although this isn’t the first time in the last few years, so no sweat.”

(The OC that I have in this AU has died of pretty much everything rapid-fire.)

[autumnlusts]

There’s two types of Autumn:

the bright, colorful, happy autumn with pumpkins, apples, candles, and great food

the dreary, dark, creepy autumn with overcast and rainy skies, scary forests, cool temperatures, and halloween

And I love them both!

[sincerity-moi]

Being named Autumn is quite the interesting experience.

[sincerity-moi]

I just recently started watching Netflix’s adaptation of Sweet Tooth, and as usual my immediate first thought following episodes 1/2 was how some of the characters from my own stories would take to being in a universe like the one which this not-mine series depicted.

This is what I came up with ->

Abigail “I’ll draw and quarter you like last thanksgiving’s ham, then leave your body to rot without a grave” Evans: Probably born a hybrid, definitely went feral almost immediately following infancy, is exactly like she is in her own canon (IE an absolute menace with an excess of moral ambiguity who can and will absolutely use selective empathy for all other life, which does not include her inner circle, entirely depending on the situation she’s in) just half animal now.

Sariah “Let me just save everyone I can and be a total cryptid in the process” White: Also very much like she is in her own canon, protective of others and weary of fucking everything to no end (Probably not a hybrid, but definitely physically fucked up somehow, I’d say a human who underwent something which changed them in some sort of early experiment, definitely involved in some secretive government shit related to the sick.)

Richard “Someone come and pick me up, I’m scared, please god strike me down, this is horrible” Bykov: I mean.... his own canon is very similar to the brand of hell that these hybrid kids are canonically in, so......... I could either give him a break and say that he winds up a human full-time in this AU (which even so isn’t much of an upgrade because he’s also born human in his story, and that works our terribly), or go full dark-mode and say that everything is the same for him, because he’s a hybrid, and because therefor as usual he’s different and a species minority which people like to beat up on.

Waylan “Your toes, hand them over” Asuka: A human with a grudge against poachers, 10/10 will skin a poacher alive for sport (So..... same as in his canon?..... like Abigail he has no qualms about murder regardless of his location, if you’re outside of his inner circle, then you’re dead if he has a fleeting fancy for violence.)

[mezzodical]

sometimes someone isn’t “toxic,” they’re just “abrasive.” or “mutagenic” or “highly flammable,” and you should always check their material safety data sheet to be sure

[mezzodical]

tag yourself i’m harmful irritant

[sincerity-moi]

Corrosive.

[marzipanandminutiae]

scars in fiction: I got this trying to save my lover from an assassin- but tragically, I was too late. now I carry the mark of my failure with me always, and I can never forget~

scars in real life: so I was trying to open macaroni sauce with a paring knife

[tied-up-teacup]

Tell me how you got your scars in the tags

[sincerity-moi]

- Climbing a fence and falling off.

- Trying and failing to whittle with a dull pocket knife.

- Trying and failing to climb a tree in semi-formal dress (while waiting to be taken to class).

- Processing empty boxes at work.

[coffeetwosugars]

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

[actualtrashbag-deactivated20170]

holy f uck jane

[coffeetwosugars]

its a serious question

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

[coffeetwosugars]

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

[tinfoil-on-the-windows]

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

[coffeetwosugars]

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

[generallyhuxurious]

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

[coffeetwosugars]

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

[the-negotiator]

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

[coffeetwosugars]

now that u said it im really surprised as well

[rainnecassidy]

what the fuck did i just read

[manynamedshe]

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

[thewinterotter]

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

[audsbot]

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

“I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”

“You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”

“You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

[constant-instigator]

Or they feel obligated to show up at your house a couple days a year. So, like

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man I’m so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now he always comes by over memorial day weekend and helps me out with minor home repairs.”

“you what now”

[headspace-hotel]

@alexandrintea

[sincerity-moi]

I have some lore where fairies will sometimes use the whole “eat my food and stay here forever” thing as a means of helping those in need, like..... the people who get offered this aren’t turned into slaves, it’s just a law of the world itself inside the fae realm where if you eat something from there, you’re bound to the land and will eventually become a fae yourself via slow transformation through living in such a magic rich world for so long.

Do you have a shitty homelife? (and do you know a fae who knows about said homelife and feels bad for you?...) Eat the food and get away from it all.

Did you make a terrible mistake?... find the right Fae and sell yourself (via eating their food) as a temporarily or perminantly contracted servant of their household. 

Are you really close friends with a Fae who wants to make you an honorary member of their family somehow? (or is a fae in love with you with the desire to make you their spouse?...) EAT THE FOOD!.

[sincerity-moi]

For the last few weeks, I’ve been trying to decide on whether or not I ever want Ricky to call Viska/Tarl by any variation of Father/Dad once he finally accepts that they are absolutely that in some manner (sense everybody in-world, except definitely Ricky himself for a huge chunk of most flashbacks, knows that they begrudgingly work together in order to Co-Parent him.)

But I think I’ve finally decided that no, he isn’t going to that (entirely based on the merit that if he has such a phobia of secure familial bonds as the one which I’ve described on multiple occasions, it’d be out of character and make zero sense for him to ever use those words again, even after he has recovered enough to realize that it isn’t the structure of the bond, but the people who make up said bond which make said bond a safe one.)

He accepts everyone as family (eventually, and has already done so in the majority of the present day one-shots which I’ve written, sense I’m reserving all of the trauma for flashback one-shots and the fluff for current times), but he shows that through how he behaves around them, or through his manner of speech (title wise, he will always stick to the first name basis.)

I plan for behavioral stuff to be a trademark of Ricky’s, he’ll ask about a question which has been eating at him or face a physical conflict with his loved ones nearby in order to show a true connection between them, but words like “Brother, Sister, Mother, Father, Dad, Mom, etc.” are contraband (as I’ve said in other posts similar to this one) and need to stay that way for the sake of character.

[sincerity-moi]

I’m playing around a lot with the dynamic between Ricky and his DIY family, and I like the idea that Viska and Tarl have extremely different “Parenting” styles when it comes to their unofficial ward.

Tarl: Extremely sweet and nurturing nine times out of ten, but also cryptic and distant with some frequency, to the point where it eventually becomes a plot-point (When he meets Ricky, Ricky isn’t speaking and is selectively mute, but the core pieces of Ricky’s good-boy personality are intact, even through all of the other drama, so in the absence of knowing an actual name for the boy, Tarl just starts calling him “Sweeheart” which sticks even after Ricky begins speaking again and articulating.)

Viska: Very much an overenergetic (but well meaning) busy-body who isn’t so much nurturing as he is that-one-friend-who-who’ll-strangle-a-bitch-for-you-even-though-you-fucking-told-them-not-to, god help you if you get his perfect appearance mussed up and his werewolf puppy had better be left in peace, because “He already has dietary issues and he need this steak which I just swindled you out of even though we both know that I could have afforded it, thank you very much”. 

(Honestly, Viska is like a hybrid between Eda the Owl Lady and that one head of the Abomination Coven which we saw in the most recent episode of the owl house.)

I am toying with the idea of Ricky meeting Tarl before he meets Viska, because that would fit the timeline in terms of just how completely broken and feral Ricky is in the beginning (it’d also work for Ricky’s friendship with Alexi and Lilac, who are Tarl’s great niece and nephew through the Stoll Family’s side of their bloodline.)

Ricky definitely encounters Lilac and Alexi before either of the adults, though.

[furiouskettle]

a group of furblets encounter a fearsome beast.  kinda like a scaled-down version of this

patreon ☆ ko-fi 

[sincerity-moi]

Furbies as Cat-Like-Kiwi-Birds?.... YES!.

[sincerity-moi]

I’m going to release something of a pilot (a one-shot with some basic infodumps and character moments) for one of my stories.

[anything-goes-my-friends]

ROTT spoilers

….

I am never one to post about things like this, but I am 100% on board with Jim going back in time to try and prevent all the innocent casualties with the Arcane Order. I am not on board with giving Toby the amulet though. As much as I love Toby and wish him nothing but happiness, think of what an experienced Jim could accomplish?

He comes back to the day he gets the amulet with 2+ years of trollhunter experience under his belt. Consider what he could change:

- The bridge is recovered early on because Jim knows where it’s being held.

- Bular, Gunmar, and Morgana are still defeated.

- Toby, Nomura, Nari, Draal, Strickler don’t die.

- Vendel doesn’t die because Jim knows who Gunmar’s spy in trollmarket is.

- With possession of the bridge, all of the Trollhunters go into the darklands together, freeing all of the babies and Gunmar’s prisoners, and kill Gunmar without the unnecessarily casualties in trollmarket. Jim made the mistake of going in alone, he wouldn’t do that again.

- Because the fight is taken to Gunmar, trollmarket never falls and Jim and Claire don’t need to leave Toby.

- Jim doesn’t need to become half-troll because why would they need to go reawaken Merlin until the events of Wizards?

- When the Arcane Order attacks, Douxie is with Nari, and Jim doesn’t get corrupted by the Green Knight. So the seals are never lost. The amulet doesn’t break, and Jim is able to hunt down and destroy the Arcane Order with the full team from ROTT.

- Toby still becomes War Hammer, Claire still learns shadow magic. Douxie becomes a master wizard when they go back in time to learn about the Green Knight. Strickler and Barbara get married. Jim protects both the human world and the troll world. Douxie protects Nari. Jim lessens the trauma the second time around and gets the love and support from the family he found for himself.

[sincerity-moi]

I seriously need this, like.... so much angst and hurt/comfort all in one fic?....

I SERIOUSLY NEED THIS AS A FIC!!!!!!!!!!!.

(I need to see Jim break down in front of his parental figures, I need to see Blinky, Strickler, and Barbara be fluff supporters. I need to see Draal and Nomura as concerned Wine Aunt and Himbo Brother respectively, I need to see everyone doing THE THINGS!!!!!!!!!..................)

Jim and Claire being badass together?.... YES!.

Toby and Claire being bros?.... YES!.

Jim and Toby being bros?.... YESSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!.

Vendal being Goat Grandpa who doesn’t want to be a Grandma but get’s stuck being one anyway?.... OH YES!.

Dictatious and NotEnrique being themselves?.... YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!.

[sincerity-moi]

I decided to suck it up and watch TOA: Rise of The Titans.....

It was something (The M-Preg thing with an actual teenager squicked me out just as much as I though it would.)

The police officer in the beginning deserves a regular cat, he was a beautiful man....

My emotions are screaming, I’m sorry.

[slinky-dogg]

I keep seeing a theory that by Jim letting Toby get the Amulet instead, he’s prepared to take his place and die in ROTT. But if that is true, does that mean Toby will go back in time too, so Jim would get the Amulet instead. And it would just be an endless loop of them going back in time so the other will live and get a happy ending. But in reality neither of them, nor their friends will have a happy ending cause they keep messing with time… That’s pretty dark.

[sincerity-moi]

Have you met some of the other Loop-AU posters on this sight?... (because I think that you and them would be best friends and I love all of you with my whole heart.)

[shrubberiesaremytrade]

I can’t stop laughing at the concept of cycling through Trollhunters in order to find the right combination. 

Like, the first time around, Jim does everything he can to be the best wingman to Toby and help him succeed, which he does, until at some point, something inevitably goes wrong, and they have to start all over again. Only this time, Toby also has his memories of both previous timelines. 

And so Claire is called and fails and remembers. Then Blinky. Douxie. Draal. AAARRRGGGHH. Steve (that on unsurprisingly only lasts a few days. Still more than the betting pool Toby had set up). Barbara. Nomura. Strickler. Archie.

So it goes, on and on until the whole family is back together and traumatised by reliving just five hellish years for some, but also puberty for others. Each time another has failed and regains their memories, they have a remembrance-party.

It will continue for hundreds of cycles until they discover the Trollhunter to make it through all trials and tribulations and finally triumph: Ms. Janeth.

[sincerity-moi]

Fic?.... FIC!!!!!!!!!!!.

[sincerity-moi]

Sometimes family is a fairy diva, an old blind werewolf, the werewolf equivalent of Team Rocket, and a very lost sad boy who ultimately gets a happy ending.

[artbyblastweave]

I’m not even joking- has anyone ever done lovecraftian eldritch abominations that, like, go out of their way to avoid bothering humans?

 Because if you want to run with the “we’re like ants to them” metaphor, most people who aren’t total assholes are making, like, an active choice not to stomp on anthills or squash random bugs. They step over or around. And it’s not the bog-standard indifference of the genre, there’s an active thought process of “You’re not bothering me so I won’t bother you.” I want a story about people exploring an eldritch horror-city like Ryleh, and eventually it turns out that all the bizarre psychological torture and warping environs and all that are an elder god’s equivalent of trying to shoo out a fly or a spider without killing it. I want a story about how the empathy of an elder god is just as dangerous as it’s wrath.

[animatedamerican]

oooooooooh

[sincerity-moi]

Horror, but heart happy, I LOVE IT!.