i'm not here

nope, not here either

[humansofnewyork]

“What was the happiest moment of your life?” “I don’t think I have one yet but it’s probably coming up and it’s going to be a surprise.”

[johanirae]

… that is the most beautiful thing I read in my lifetime

[singulardream]

Me: *has one practice session*

Me: why have i not improved an insane amount and mastered my instrument already

[werewollves]

top 3 depression activities: 

-watching vine compilations in your bed at 3am

-playing 2048 with a dead expression

-listening to Africa by Toto on repeat and trying to feel something, anything

[inkskinned]

dear universe;

hello. i am writing to let you know you did good job on the stars, and also on cats.

yours respectfully, me

[inkskinned]

dear universe,

in the original post of this, it says “dogs” where it now says “cats”. i do not know when (or how) it got changed, but i am glad that someone loved cats enough to do that, because i love my dog and i also love my cats and i felt bad about not mentioning it that first time. i’m also glad for all the tags where people told me what i should have added (like libraries and waffles and maple syrup) and i am glad for all the comments about how much they love their pets (and some people have such cool pets!)

i kind of think, universe, if we are your children, this is our macaroni art. see, see, see, you gave us a little bit of the stars, and we’ve made our own constellations. we tried to give back to you by making art and music and books and bad poetry and our laughter and our love and our tv dramadies. we took pictures of the night sky and pictures of sunsets and pictures of dew, we fell in love with space and the rivers and the rain. i personally have my desktop background as a picture of one of your nebulas. your hair looked great that day.

i think…. you did a good job, universe, on the stars, and what the stars became, because you put us together and yes, yes, things might be terrible - but good gracious did we make so many things worth loving, worth writing to you about, worth telling you - thank you, i’m taking the spark you put in me and using it to be kind, to be alive, to be wildly fierce about our gardens and gentle about our pets.

so hello. i amend my previous memo. i am writing to let you know you did a good job on the stars, and on my dog and my cats and the lizard i kept illegally in my apartment. and universe, i hope you’re watching, because some of the people you made? they’re great, universe, and they’re full of love, just endlessly capable of loving. and they give me hope.

and through them, universe, that’s you. that’s how the stars sing.

yours respectfully, me

[fandomsandfeminism]

Full time work should entitle someone to enough pay for rent, food, bills, and leisure activities. Full time work for a full life wage. You put in your 8 hours a day, 5 days a week? You should be able to afford the basic shit you need in life, no matter where you work.

[rainydayshea]

pisses me off that this is considered a radical statement.

[ew--gross]

I do agree with this but from economic standpoint if you are working at a job like McDonalds as someone flipping burgers and making fries you are getting paid for the amount of skill needed for the job. But if its any other job that requires you to have an actual skill that you can make a career out of then yeah you should be getting paid enough to live a standard life.

[geekandmisandry]

If you work FULL TIME you should be able to afford to fucking live. No, it doesn’t matter if it’s flipping burgers, these people contribute to our fucking economy and they MATTER. They should be allowed to be alive.

Jesus fucking Christ do you people hear yourselves?

[janothar]

People like this are why we can’t move on to issues like reducing how many hours is full time, or working out UBI. We’re going to need to do that. Most people just don’t know what’s coming down the pipeline, without a major change to the structure of the economy, we’re looking at large scale permanent unemployment, even in the “skilled” labor force.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

Also? Making food is a fucking skill. Running a fast food kitchen is a fucking skill. Operating a drive-thru is a goddamn fucking skill.

I do not know how to do these things. I have a masters degree and I have no fucking clue how to operate a deep fryer or make coffee drinks. I’d probably not be very good at it, because that kind of hands-on, fast-paced work is very hard for me.

But thankfully, there are people who are good at it, so I can do my job, and they can do theirs, and we can benefit one another by putting our skills to use in different areas. People who work in fast food are not less deserving of comfort and security in their lives just because their skills aren’t valued like they should be. That is a myth developed to deprive people of rights.

[goodness-gracious-great-balls-of]

My friend works as a medical assistant and I’ve worked at McDonald’s and Starbucks. You know there’s a lot of things you gotta learn in this typa job?

Like in addition to it being physically demanding (standing up for 4-6 hours straight, carrying heavy ice/coffee, constantly getting burned by boiling water and an oven, a lot of reaching and squatting (like a lot a lot I lost 40 FUCKING pounds in a year okay this job demands a lot from the body)), there are actual skills required. Also your skin splits from using so much antibacterial soap.

Do you know what temperature different foods have to be to prevent contamination? If it’s a “cold” or “hot” plate?? Do You know how long food can be out before bacterial contamination can happen?? Do you know the difference between say 1% and heavy whipping cream? Can you teach a chemistry class using milk????? That’s p much what you gotta learn to be able to do. My friend who works as a medic was surprised, because I do more in my day than they do, and THEY told me that. They were shocked how much I actually do; I am on my feet more, talking to more people, I have a working knowledge of food germs food born illnesses and chemistry, I gotta do the same shit with sterilizing my tools the same exact way a doctor sterilizes theirs. Etc etc.

There’s no such thing as an unskilled job. There are only undervalued skills.

[tikkunolamorgtfo]

“There’s no such thing as an unskilled job. There are only undervalued skills.”

[residentwhatever]

also: Everyone deserves to be able to live, regardless of whether or not they can work or ‘contribute to the economy’

[wheel-skellington]

If we’re mutuals just know that I love you dearly but I will not hold back in combat

[institute-for-thermal-research]

I don’t know how to make friends offline

[institute-for-thermal-research]

The first draft of this post was “how do I make friends in the prime material plane” which should indicate why I have trouble making friends

[sunbutch]

I just taught a pretty girl how to use a vending machine and I'm gonna die

there’s no way this girl didn’t know how to use a vending machine. she thought you were cute, formed a game plan, and fucking executed it. i’m proud of her

[sunbutch]

tag yourself are you the girl pretending not to know how to use a vending machine because she’s gay and useless or the girl who genuinely believed it because she’s gay and useless

[furiousradfem]

Don’t be fooled, men are not worried about being falsely accused of rape.

If they were, they would watch very carefully not to touch a woman who is unwilling and reluctant to be intimate with them.

They would check over, over, and over again before initiating sexual contact.

They wouldn’t dream of pressuring, coercing, intimidating, or tricking an unwilling woman to have sexual relations with them.

They wouldn’t even come close to women who show clear signs of not wanting them around. 

Men aren’t worried at all. 

We should make them worry.

[womanphilosopher]

Men aren’t worried about getting falsely accused of rape. But men are worried that they won’t get away with rape anymore. So they make false accusations sound like a real problem in society so that when they are rightly accused, society will scrutinize women so much that men always get off easy on the benefit of the doubt.

[furiousradfem]

exactly.

[soravagemecrazy]

This is some TEAA chile

[the-perfect-aesthetic]

[broodingsoul]

not to be dramatic but i would literally die for every one of these dogs

[slowspinningredemption]

I just had this hyper-realistic dream and like. I don’t even know what to make of this lmao 

I was sitting in this park, on a bench, looking up at the night sky and all the stars and stuff, and I blinked and suddenly the entire sky was different. I’m talking different constellations, the sky absolutely packed with billions more stars, some so close they’re massive. I’m like wtf and suddenly I realise there’s an old man sitting next to me, dressed in like 1940s clothing, also looking up at the sky.

before I can ask him if he’s you know, noticed, he speaks, without looking away from the sky.

“this is what the universe really looks like,” he tells me.

“oh,” I say. a pause. “…can you put it back?”

he smiles and nods. I look up. the sky has gone back to normal.

“what do I do with this information?” I ask, looking at him again.

he turns his head and, smiling, looks me dead in the face. "be careful.“

[gayladypank-deactivated20180415]

hey op im pretty sure you mightve just met god or something like that

[evildeen]

Hi my name is Hela Ebony Dark’ness Dementia Raven Way Goddess of Death and i have long ebony hair that’s darker than the expanding universe (that’s how I got my name) that reaches my mid back and icy blue eyes like loki tears and a lot of people tell me I’m made of Knives

[steveplustony]

mood: thor flinging that ball at the window only for it to bounce back and hit him in the fucking face

[fandomsandfeminism]

How to deal with kids (without hitting them)

1. The Best Defense is a Good Offense: Be proactive with children’s behavior. 

Don’t wait until a child is in the middle of a meltdown in the toiletries aisle of Target. Try to be aware of how different situations and stimuli might affect kids of different ages. A few tips: 

Kids, especially toddler age kids, struggle with transitions. Give them a clear time table and stick to it. Give them updates as deadlines approach. “We are leaving the library in 5 minutes.” “We need to go see Grandma in 10 minutes.” “Target will only take 20 minutes.” 

Getting toted around by adults can be exhausting and frustrating. Give kids tasks to do. Put them in charge of something. It can be something actually helpful (you get to hold the calculator and keep track of how much money we are spending in the store) or something fun to keep their mind busy (count all the blue things in this aisle.) Talk to your kids. Help them feel involved, instead of just a tote bag. 

Model self care and emotional awareness. Kids are often dealing with SUPER new emotions, and may not know how to recognize them, contextualize them, or act on them. Talk through your own emotions, or emotions you think they may be having, and show them how to deal with them. “Yeah, I know, mommy is really sad that we can’t go to the park because of the rain. It makes me feel really bad inside. I think if we color with crayons for a while, I’ll feel better.” 

Give kids choices. Obviously, age plays a big part here, but a reasonable, curated set of appropriate choices gives kids a growing feeling of agency and teaches making good choices. “Would you like peas or green beans?” “Penguin Shirt or Turtle Shirt?” “Water or apple juice?” This requires YOU to also speak with and listen to the kids. Always important. 

Be aware of how the children in YOUR care react to things, and find ways to mitigate “bad” behavior before it happens. 

2. “Punishment” is not the goal. Discipline means teaching. 

Your goal, as a parent, as a teacher, as a baby sitter, is not to punish kids. Your goal is to help teach kids how to become thoughtful, responsible, and kind people. The entire idea of kids “deserving” bad things because they’ve “been bad” is flawed. If a kid does something “bad”, then we should aim to help them not make that bad choice again. 

How? 

Identify any immediate stimuli or situation causing the bad behavior and remove/alter it so the behavior stops. This might mean leaving an errand unfinished, a time out, taking away a toy, etc, in order to STOP the behavior that is happening RIGHT NOW. 

Talk to the child about why their behavior was “bad.” What bad affects could it have? How does it affect others? What caused it? Kids, even very young kids, can understand complicated things if explained in terms on their level. 

Come up with a plan for what to do next time the original stimuli or situation happens. If Timmy tries to take your truck again, what can we do differently? The next time we are in line at the bank, what can we do to make it more fun? 

If the child is older, and the offense is more severe, you may feel the need for a tangible consequence. Remember that these should be age appropriate, reasonable, and negotiable. Give kids the ability to reduce their consequence with good behavior, and be willing to modify the consequence if they have a compelling and reasonable request. Listening to kids and being empathetic is not a weakness. It is a sign of respect. 

3. Don’t forget that kids are people. Kids are also kids. 

Kids will not be perfect angels. You will not be a perfect adult. Sometimes they will be cranky, angry, tired, hungry, selfish, or mean. You can be these things to. One bad day doesn’t mean you are a failure, and it doesn’t mean the kids are a failure. You have to let kids have bad days sometimes. You have to love them anyway and be willing to give it a fresh go tomorrow. 

Working with kids is not easy. No one said it would be. But part of working with kids is the obligation to always be thoughtful about our interactions with them- we teach them with everything we do. So we should treat them with all the respect, kindness, thoughtfulness, and patience we want them to learn. 

[dmnsqrl]

OMG I can’t express how much I love this post!!!

[fandomsandfeminism]

:D

[idiotsonfb]

[starglitteredsky-deactivated201]

Isn’t it nice how people twist their religious scripture to suit their weds but when it’s used against them it’s suddenly not okay

[crippledcuriosity]

I talked to a monk about this quote once (we have mutual friends, and he came to a New Year’s Eve party at my shared art studio). He said this isn’t even talking about homosexuality. That the bible never actually says homosexuality is wrong. What that passage means is this:

Women were treated as subservient and it that you shouldn’t treat other men as subservient, like they are beneath you. It is not talking about homosexuality. If it was, it would say it outright since the bible lists other things outright.

I take the word of a monk who have studied the bible extensively more than a self proclaimed Christian.

[theguilteaparty]

The above text, I would like to point out is from the point of view of this translation of the original Hebrew. I spoke with my cousin’s rabbi on the matter and his response was different, saying that it was a mistranslation. See, the true translation says that a man shall not lie with another in the bed of a woman, which is to say, the Hebrews had a shit ton of rules about when a man was or was not allowed in a woman’s bed and private quarters (including, if she didn’t want you there, you weren’t allowed there. Hebrew women were also allowed to divorce their husbands and the image of the ‘oppressive Hebrew people’ is an image that was propogated by Christianity which, historically speaking, doesn’t treat the Jewish people too well and liked to paint them as being rather barbaric and backwards and cultish with their traditions, which, another piece of fun info, their traditions were one of the main reasons why the Jewish people were less likely, in medieval times, to die of the plague. Because washing your hands and avoiding the dead and vermin and the like was a lot of help. Of course the Christians persecuted them for not dying but that’s another matter. I’m sidetracked). So the verse is literally saying ‘Don’t fuck in some lady’s bed because that’s just goddamn rude’

Also, whenever a Christian brings the book of Leviticus up, you should feel free to point out that these are rules that were given to make the Hebrew people prepared for when the son of God came to earth. In Christianity, it’s believed the son of God was Jesus. So by following the rules set in Leviticus or pushing them as things we should follow, they’re saying that Jesus was not the son of God, and that Jesus did not, in fact, die for our sins. Jewish people believe, in their faith, that the son of God hasn’t yet been born, so many choose to follow these rules.

Most people of course roll their eyes when I explain the translation of the verse (full breakdown found here) but it’s always fun to point out the nature of the rules in Leviticus and the implications of following them. 

[bedbugbookworm-deactivated20150]

I’m a theology student and I am on the verge of crying because of how accurate this commentary is. Historical context is simultaneously the most interesting and most important part of interpreting any texts. 

[zorobro]

Most religious people seem to base their beliefs on things that are severely mistranslated. I wish they would do their research before using the bible for hate.

[justnahok]

I studied theology extensively and was going to become a theologist until I switched majors. The above commentary is 100% accurate and what I try to stress in a lot if conversations with Bible Thumpers.

Jesus also affirms the homosexual relationship between the Roman Centurion and his “slave”. The particular Greek word used to refer to this special slave was “pais”. Greek language studies and contexts show that a “pais” was a male love slave. Regular slaves were called “dolos”. The Centurion makes this distinction clearly when he asks Jesus to heal his slave (pais), and then to prove his status he tells Jesus that his slaves (dolos) go when he tells them to. But this slave (pais) was special. He was the Centurion’s lover.

Hearing this, Jesus was so amazed he says he had not found ANYONE ELSE who had such great faith. He then blesses the Centurion and heals his male lover.

Matthew 8:5-13

THIS IS WHAT THE BIBLE REALLY TEACHES ABOUT SAME SEX COUPLES.

In short, the English adaptation is a mistranslated farce.

[zorobro]

^^^^this

[noshamejustlove]

reblogging for the comments ^^^^^^

[veldian]

EXCUSE ME WHILE I REBLOG THIS FIFTY MILLION TIMES

[thetwistedrope]

“As a toddler, the codependent learns quickly that protesting abuse leads to even more frightening parental retaliation. Thus she responds by relinquishing her flight response, deleting “no” from her vocabulary and never developing the language skills of healthy assertiveness. The future codependent also learns early on that her natural flight response intensifies her danger if she tries to flee. Later, when a child is older she may also learn that the ultimate flight response, running away from home, is hopelessly impractical and even more danger-laden. Many toddlers, at some point, transmute the flight urge into the running around in circles of hyperactivity. This adaptation “works” on some level to help them escape from the uncontainable feelings of the abandonment melange. Many of these unfortunates later symbolically run away from their pain. They deteriorate into the obsessive-compulsive adaptations of workaholism, busyholism, spend-aholism, and sex and love addiction that are common in flight types. The toddler who bypasses the adaptation of the flight defense may drift into developing the freeze response and become the “lost child.” This child escapes his fear by slipping more and more deeply into disassociation. He learns to let his parents’ verbal and emotional abuse “go in one ear and out the other.” It is not uncommon for this type to devolve in adolescence into numbing substance addiction. The future codependent toddler, however, wisely gives up on the fight, flight or freeze responses. Instead, they learn to fawn their way into the occasional safety of being perceived as helpful. They discover that a modicum of safety can be purchased by becoming variously useful to their parent. For the budding codependent, all hints of danger soon immediately trigger servile behaviours and abdication of rights and needs. Once a child realizes that being useful and not requiring anything for themself gets them some positive attention from their parents, codependency begins to grow. It becomes an increasingly automatic habit over the years.”

— Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving, Pete Walker pg 130-133

[vajeentambourine]

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

Shout out to people like me who have parents who are loving but are black holes of emotional labor… It took me a long time to realize that it’s okay to have mixed feelings about your parents, about your relationship with them.

Sometimes parents can love you but be somewhat toxic to you and your growth, and that’s a very hard realization to come to if you, like me, grew up extremely close to them.

Sometimes parents can love you genuinely but lack emotional maturity, forcing you to perform disproportionate amounts of emotional labor. Some parents manifest symptoms of their mental illness in ways that are toxic to your mental illness.

Some parents, like mine, try so hard to be good parents but fall back on habits of emotional manipulation because they haven’t processed their own traumas and are modeling behavior they grew up with. That doesn’t make their behavior acceptable, and it’s okay to feel exhausted and hurt when they betray you. You don’t have to forgive every mistake.

I want you to know that it’s okay to protect yourself, to need some space apart from them. The love you have for your parents is still valid, and you are making the right decision.

Placing a safe emotional distance between myself and my parents has been one of the most difficult, heartbreaking processes I’ve ever gone through… it hurts to try to curb the strength of your own natural empathy around people you love. It feels disingenuous to your heart’s natural state.

But I promise you, you are not hard-hearted or ungrateful, and you are not abandoning them. You are making a decision about your own emotional, mental, and spiritual health.

I know what it’s like in that confusing grey area of love mixed with guilt and anxiety, of exhaustion and quasi-manipulation and unreciprocated emotional labor, and I promise you, you are not alone.

Your mixed feelings about your parents are valid.

[tinaramala]

Ah, this something that’s always floated around in my head, and this person wrote it so perfectly.