The Shit I Dig @sirdoodle92 - Tumblr Blog

lugmilla

officialfist

This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of.

the-pundertaker-deactivated2020

Only 32 days until this joke expires. Reblog while you can.

tranz-parents

transmortifried

pendaly-archive-deactivated2021

klubbhead

chaosgameingkoi

Good luck historians of the future.

mesopelagic

holy shit i have the best idea

mesopelagic

my line of logic was “well if i put the sponge in the blender, when i turn it on the sponge will spin around and scrub the blender for me so i dont have to spend ages cleaning it”

mesopelagic

thats not what happened though :•(

neverthere12345

firelightmystic

“You wasn’t even born when the first one came out.”

f0llar

ME

palmsofgranate-deactivated20181

Best believe imma act a whole fool 😂😂😂

panthergoddessbast

I waited 15 years you lil niggas better get to steppin

coolsaddad-blog

Roses are red, that much is true, but violets are purple, not fucking blue.

feels-for-the-fictional

I have been waiting for this post all my life.

marzipanandminutiae

They are indeed purple, But one thing you’ve missed: The concept of “purple” Didn’t always exist.

Some cultures lack names For a color, you see. Hence good old Homer And his “wine-dark sea.”

A usage so quaint, A phrasing so old, For verses of romance Is sheer fucking gold.

So roses are red. Violets once were called blue. I’m hugely pedantic But what else is new?

ineptshieldmaid

My friend you’re not wrong About Homer’s wine-ey sea! Colours are a matter Of cultural contingency;

Words are in flux And meanings they drift But the word purple You’ve given short shrift.

The concept of purple, My friends, is old And refers to a pigment once precious as gold.

By crushing up molluscs From the wine-dark sea You make a dye: Imperial decree

Meant that in Rome, to wear purpura was a privilege reserved

For only the emperor!

The word ‘purple’, for clothes so fancy, Entered English By the ninth century

.

Why then are voilets Not purple in song? The dye from this mollusc, known for so long

Is almost magenta; More red than blue. The concept of purple is old, and yet new.

The dye is red, So this might be true: Roses are purple And violets are blue

.

squeeful

While this song makes me merry, Tyrian purple dyes many a hue From magenta to berry And a true purple too.

But fun as it is to watch this poetic race The answer is staring you right in the face: Roses are red and violets are blue Because nothing fucking rhymes with purple.

cryoverkiltmilk

last-flight-of-dickarus

Hirple - To limp or walk awkwardly

Cirple - An old Scots word for the hindquarters of a horse

nobodybetterhavethisoneoriswear

“Roses are red, violets are purple,

My boner for you has caused me to hirple.”

…

My, how romantic!

wouldthatcreationhadformedmeman

DYING. I AM DYING.

kiranovember

Calling theshitpostcalligrapher! We need @theshitpostcalligrapher

theshitpostcalligrapher

@kiranovember u better buy this as a commission lmao

jodetesuciaperra-deactivated202

That SCENE in “Bao”

All of us:

highbleaching

Incredibles 2 spoilers without context

willandmace

a visual “PFFFT”

wet-monsoon

anybody see the main character designs of matt groening’s new show yet? i’m mot much into fantasy but i’m still curious about it enough to check it out….. and also maybe because i want more female protagonist adult cartoons lol

the demon is adorable and by far the best-looking one out of the three of em, maybe because he’s kind of different from the usual groening design mold

however, the goblin/elf/whatever looks like green bart. its literally just green bart.

wet-monsoon

Toe to Tip, This Is A Bart .

localstarboy

Calling teachers by their first name 😂

sim-simma

I’m frank

sirdoodle92

God the anxiety this gave me

jauregxis

bob-belcher

Who needs Meghan Trainor’s “NO” when there’s this masterpiece?

vampirezigzagoon

I THINK YOU COULD USE A MINT

shezasag

this is literally honestly a fucking bop

RIP Sir Doodle James💜💙💚💛❤ I will miss your sweet meows and nap time snuggles. Seven years hardly seem long enough, but it will always be remembered fondly. I know you had a heart full of love and you were loved by so many.💔 Your passing made a hole in our lives and made the world a little dimmer.

goodbyeeveryonepeacendblessings

where’s that video of the naked crackhead literally running the speed of a moving car and I use the term literally literally he was deadass keeping up with the car

goodbyeeveryonepeacendblessings

signlesstheredbloodedtroll

Hi! Humans don’t have an eye shine, so that’s not a person!

legitimatelala

😨

nyanbinyuri

inactiveaccount12345678

My roomba is scared of thunderstorms

I was sitting at my desk just a few minutes ago, drawing, and a really loud crack of thunder went off–no power surges or anything, just thunder–and my roomba fled from its dock and started spinning in circles

I currently now have an active roomba sitting quietly on my lap

systlin

Humans will pack bond with anything.

apostatively

I had a teenage girl come into my tea shop with her mother the other night. She purposely grabbed a teamaker in the most crunched-up looking box on the shelf (got banged around in shipment) and carried it protectively over to the counter. “If something’s in a damaged box I have to get it because I’m afraid no one else will love it,” she laughed nervously.

Not only will humans pack bond with anything, the empathy level of adolescent girls in particular likely has puppy-saving, world hunger-solving, war-ending powers.

a-dull-glow

I once saw a really bumpy lime at the grocery store, just a real ugly fruit. Later that night my boyfriend & I were driving home from rehearsal at like 11:30pm & passed the grocery store & I stared crying & he said “is it that lime? Do you want to go back and get it?” And I nodded and pulled the car around and bought the lime.