professional hooligan

jess // a whole bouquet of whoopsie-daisies

[thiccyonce]

-

the flavor… it’s exquisite 😭

[gaypeopletwitter]

[sleepallsummer]

archeologists: are you wearing the- 500-year-old skeleton found in the london river: the chanel boots? yeah i am

[hotniatheron]

kyle ron: grandfather…..show me again, the power of the dark side

bail organa in the afterlife:

[unsettlingstories]

Polar vortex tiddys.

[naomi121406-deactivated20210507]

How weird tumblr hasn’t flagged this “female-presenting” vortex yet

[thebisexualmandalorian]

Brings a whole new meaning to the phrase, “Colder than a witch’s tit.”

[gallusrostromegalus]

Truth Coming Down From The North Pole To Shame Climate Change Deniers

[fakehistory]

The Leaning Tower of Pisa is finally completed (1372)

[teojida-archive-deactivated2020]

my dumb cat got arrested

[teojida-archive-deactivated2020]

he and a couple other neighborhood cats were caught fighting a couple nights ago and someone picked them up and took them to the shelter, it doesn’t open until 11 so i can’t go get him yet

[teojida-archive-deactivated2020]

😑 costs 15 dollars to get a pet out of the shelter even though they’ve already inconvenienced me enough by kidnapping my son

[teojida-archive-deactivated2020]

snndjfdjcnjdkxm….

[gaypussyretard]

[friendly-neighborhood-ehrhardt]

this image actually makes complete sense & that is a fucking trip & a half.

[rot-city]

You can take it back even further to the Archudke’s assassin just bumping into him deciding to get a sandwich. One man’s need for lunch 100 years ago gave rise to tentacle porn half the world away. What a world.

[goblinbutler]

Is anybody going to explain?

No? Okay.

[kemonododo]

1. Archduke Ferndinand is murdered, causing World War 1.

2. The Allies win WW1, imposing the Treaty of Versailles on Germany.

3. This causes tension between Germany and the rest of Europe, something Adolf Hitler takes advantage of and begins WW2.

4. Japan joins the axis in WW2 in order to expand their empire.

5. The Axis is defeated, and Japan comes under US occupation.

6. American soldiers bring comic books, cartoons, and other American mediums to Japan which stay behind even after the occupation is over.

7. Post-WW2 Japan imposes strict censorship laws that include the banning of most conventional porn.

8. Japanese citizens retaliate by drawing comics with women having sex with vaguely penis-shaped objects like tentacles to exploit loopholes in the law.

9. It establishes itself as a fetish even after the laws are relaxed, and so Hentai was born.

[deadddeviant]

Butterfly effect

[joyquill]

[omuii]

kidz bop cask of amontillado

[mintsyrup-deactivated20191203]

ok why does this look better than marvel movies with $100m budgets

[whatistheplan-deactivated201712]

Man found the stoplight cameras were activated during yellow lights and decided to cut the wires of it.

[loremerchant]

Florida Man: Chaotic evil. New York Man: Chaotic good.

[timelessblasphemy]

Holy shit. Nah dude look up the entire story, it’s INSANE.

The dude got arrested once before this for using a painter’s extension rod to point the stoplight cameras into the sky instead of cutting the wires. He didn’t cut the wires until AFTER he got out after being arrested the first time–which he did after posting facebook videos that prove that the stoplights are intentionally rigged to trick drivers into citations–the yellow lights at intersections with cameras only last THREE SECONDS, as opposed to the five seconds they last at other stoplights without cameras in the same county.

When he cut the camera cords, he reported his deeds to the news -himself,- and then politicians pressured the local police force into arresting him. The local police and sheriff deputies actually SUPPORT him for his actions because the lights have been killing innocent people! During his most recent arrest, one of the Sheriff’s Deputies actually -offered to bail him out-. When he got home again after these incidents, there was a surveillance camera planted at his house BY THE GOVERNMENT to watch him! His reaction to being surveilled? He painted over the camera in America’s flat out fucking ballsiest “fuck you” to the gubmint I’ve ever heard of. And it gets EVEN CRAZIER. After painting over the camera, suddenly this guy–his name is Stephen Ruth by the way–started GETTING ATTEMPTS ON HIS LIFE. He reports that a car intentionally tried to hit him in a head-on collision, and after talking about the car to his neighbors, they confirmed that the car in question (Or at least, one that was visibly identical, its occupants included) had been staking out his house! Somebody was legitimately trying to MURDER HIM over his discovery and his actions!

As a final insult to injury, Ruth pointed out that the VAST majority of the cameras were found SPECIFICALLY in lower-to-middle-class neighborhoods. As well, the victims of these rigged stoplights tried to go to the local news station to talk about the deaths of their family members that occurred from the rigging. Aaaand… The local station, “News12″, never aired their interviews. Remember how I said that, after cutting the cables and calling the local news station, Ruth was arrested because of pressure from politicians? Get this: News12 is actually owned by CableVision, who PROVIDES INTERNET SERVICE TO THE CAMERAS.  Whereas mister Ruth was only trying to help people and save lives, he’s been caught up in a full-blown fucking government conspiracy that’s out for his blood. This guy isn’t Robin Hood, he makes Robin Hood look like a -CHUMP-.

[recoil-operated-deactivated2021]

American hero.

[ipod6-remade]

[pietriarchy]

everyone loves to shit on david cage for making his games so heavily prompt based but let me tell you it’s the prompts specifically that elevate his work to the level of modern masterpieces

[loremerchant]

[taragrimface]

wheres the one where the player fails every prompt in a chase scene and it turns a dramatic pursuit into a mr bean movie

[sapiosexualmcride]

this the video you’re talking about?

[taragrimface]

YES THANK YOU

[valtsv]

adult person: life gets faster as you get older!

me aged 10: sounds fake but ok

me now:

[epiphanies]

[p1tbullterrior]

Play us a tune, banjo man

[redwinerozanova]

sir that’s my emotional support youtuber

[redwinerozanova]

and by that, i am referring solely to

her

[jessafer94]

out of boredom i decided to scan a stuffed shark. here are the results.

[strangersea]

your work is appreciated

[trainsforbrains]

op i spent entirely too long on this and im sorry

[scarlet--raven-deactivated20230]

It’s 1:30 am and I’m cackling like a deranged witch

[kishona]

@sassy-dad