potentially controversial but i don't think "male sexuality is inherently predatory (and so if you don't want to be predatory, you're probably a girl)" is a winning feminist take. i actually think it's exactly the opposite and we should really be avoiding the implication that predatory misogynistic behavior is biological and not social in nature
this is just “boys will be boys” used to defend misogynistic behavior under the assumption it’s biological and not a choice resulting from misogyny never being socially punished, but with a coat of paint on it to sound woke
socialized behavior argument aside i just also do not think this is true beyond shitheads who are obviously not representative of the general population. some boys just had good parents idk what to tell you
this is one of those things where it’s like, “damn that sucked and shouldn’t have happened to you but it does seem like you’re turning your bad experience into political beliefs and you can’t be doing that”
Would argue that one's ability to be a good person doesn't depend on having good parents, but otherwise, yeah.
And every time I see a guy (cis or trans) who talks about how he's just so scared of accidentally intimidating a woman, I just wanna rescue him like some kind of a creature from a wildfire.
Also sorry its just DEEPLY dehumanizing to act like even misogynistic cis men truly have no internal emotional or relational depth beyond "seeing women as fleshlights."
Like, on top of what OP is saying, I feel like people take misogynists at their word about their desires way too much. I would say its not just that misogyny isn't socially punished, but that misogyny and toxic masculinity are the only conceptual tools many cis boys & men have to make sense of their internal and external experiences.
There are a lot of cis men who would insist they just want to get laid and engage in sexual objectification of people they see as women, who do have genuinely negatively feelings towards women, while also having genuine desires for connection and emotional fulfillment that they are processing through a deeply patriarchal worldview, which is constantly reaffirmed by their environment as the only real way to see the world and the only meaningful way to navigate their experiences.
Which is not to say that cis boys treating people they see as women as disposable sexual objects doesn't happen or doesn't matter. But the idea that if you have any more internal depth to how you view yourself and your relationship with sexuality in the privacy of your own mind, that makes you fundamentally different than all the cis boys who "just see women as fleshlights" obscures how this kind of behavior and perception of others actually arises.
And then on top of that, its bioessentialist and such an insane overgeneralization that if you actually believe this, I am begging you to interact with more / a broader variety of cis men. If your stated intention is to genuinely try to help closeted trans girls realize their internal experiences may be trans, then you cannot do that by saying such obviously inane shit that many closeted trans girls will read and go "well that obviously isn't true? my guy friends aren't like that?" Also, once again the exorsexism of "if you aren't a boy, you MUST be a girl, there is no other option!" because these people would truly rather eat tacks than think about nonbinary people. It's all just gender affirming radical feminism.
Plus all the "Real Men see women as interchangeable fleshlights to show off to other men with" stuff makes it harder to understand like, abusive men as a whole. Because if your threat model is "A Bad Man will just want to fuck a woman and then discard her so he can tell his male buddies" you won't be ready for the one who is obsessive about a woman and won't let her get away, or who is abusive and withholds sex and intimacy as part of that abuse, or who doesn't high-five with his bros because he doesn't want to spend time around other men at all.
(Even before getting to how basically every trans man who transitioned "from" being a lesbian has worried, endlessly, that his sexuality or interest in women is automatically predatory and sick because of his identity, and that doesn't make him a woman either!)
