like a frog in a blender but more poisonous

she/they | you reblog one to many sense8 orgy scenes (for the beautiful visuals) and all of a sudden you have a cone for a face... RuDE

[slurpingarsenicgreen]

It has come to this

[rosettyller]

Yáo Li-Jie & Olesya Ilyukhina

Project Hail Mary (2026)

[himbomarleau]

Thinking about a scenario where Marleau goes to all stars instead of Ilya because Ilya is injured and he ends up hanging out with Shane all weekend and they actually hit it off? Shane is nervous because he knows Marly is Ilya's bro and he doesn't want to embarrass himself in front of him. Marleau is sticking with Shane because he's a bit in awe of playing on the same team as The Shane Hollander. Eventually Shane starts letting out his bitchy one liners under his breath and Marleau is eating it up. By the end of the weekend they are a chirping machine. Marleau is teeing Shane up and Shane is landing the most devastating insults.

Marleau comes back to Boston and is like man Roz you would love Hollander if you could get past the rivalry and Ilya is just staring wide eyed at him. Marly is going off about how funny Shane is and talking up his hockey iq. Ilya is just like ha ha. Yes. If only I didn't hate his guts... meanwhile he's furiously texting "Jane" "Marleau is my friend. You can't have him"

[brokentoasterrr]

ilya posts a video on instagram with the caption “my husband and the dog he didn’t want” and it’s shane cradling anya like a baby outside the vet’s office whispering “you were so brave, honey. we’ll get you a pup cup on the drive home and you can sit in my lap while papa drives. you did such a good job when the scary lady poked you. such a good girl” and people everywhere lose their fucking minds

[lu0niiel]

alexis (thinblood), and agnes, her adoptive tremere sire she’s bloodbound to, for @floorisfloor ! i love toxic lesbians

comms open! i would love to do more like this

[vamptits]

don't ever look up what your childhood friends are up to now!!!!!!!!!! like girl you're a nuclear safety engineer. i put on matching socks today. we played tag a thousand years ago.

[halberdbooks]

Yeah

[austinkleon]

The British Library Puts 1,000,000 Images into the Public Domain, Making Them Free to Reuse & Remix

[medievalpoc]

Link to Article

Link to British Library Flickr

Link to Album View (shown above)

Selected Links by Subject:

musical instruments | fashion & costumes | ships | dancing |decorative papers | curator selection | highlights | portraits | space and science fiction | children’s book illustrations | technology | flora |advertisements | decorative illustrations | castles | heraldry | diagrams| comic art | illustrated letters & typography | wildlife

[austinkleon]

From Open Culture:

We have released over a million images onto Flickr Commons for anyone to use, remix and repurpose. These images were taken from the pages of 17th, 18th and 19th century books digitised by Microsoft who then generously gifted the scanned images to us, allowing us to release them back into the Public Domain. The images themselves cover a startling mix of subjects: There are maps, geological diagrams, beautiful illustrations, comical satire, illuminated and decorative letters, colourful illustrations, landscapes, wall-paintings and so much more that even we are not aware of.

(via maudnewton​)

[writernotwaiting]

(Tags below: let me know if you want to be added to Tumblr’s nerdiest tag list.)

Keep reading

[quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks]

omg yay!

[zoesupreme]

Marvel really fumbled Blade so bad Mahershala Ali said okay I'm gonna do my own Blade knockoff and make him muslim. and it fucks.

[vampirejuno]

This might be a hot take but, I'm convinced that Carrot wouldn't be the one to take over command of the watch after Vimes retires. It'd be Angua. She and Vimes are so similar, both in temperament and worldview, and just the way they handle police-related problems.

Like. That's such a Vimes way of looking at things. And much like him, she doesn't let her cynicism stop her from doing her job, she uses it as fuel. She doesn't have the same ties to Ankh-Morpork that Vimes does, but she's fiercely loyal to Carrot, who effectively *is* the city.

And the bit at the end of men at arms where Carrot himself explains to Vetinari why it shouldn't be him commanding the watch - people should follow orders because they're given by a commanding officer, not because they're given by Carrot. Angua doesn't have that charisma that makes people like her and do what she says; she just has intelligence and willpower and a good, disillusioned understanding of how people work. Not to mention all the thematic parallels we see between her and vimes and their struggles with restraining their inner beast (literal or metaphorical).

Idk, it seems such an obvious choice to me. I think if Vimes ever managed to actually retire, the only person in whose hands (paws?) he'd be comfortable leaving the watch would be her.

(also the post of commander comes with the title of Knight and "sir Angua" would be hot as fuck)

[worldofdarkness-eyecandy]

Artwork by: Magdalena Ploszkiewicz

[ode-on-a-grecian-butt]

art by @niochemblyat

[sunderwight]

Every day I am haunted by the fact that Jupiter Ascending was not based off of a million word space opera fantasy book series and that I cannot go to the library and take out like six door-stopper sized volumes of sheer unhinged gendervibes-y space werewolf bee queen batshittery where every new freudian space eugenicist villain talks like he's trying to eat the scenery's pussy out harder than the last guy. 😔

[lavenderprose]

Ottawa wins the Cup, wins it in LA, and due to the proximity to stardom and the several actual celebrities who make a point to come out and celebrate with the Centaurs, there are approximately seven hundred angles of the festivities on every social media by the following morning.

One of these is your classic TMZ highly invasive round-the-corner spy shot of Shane and Ilya--like, waiting for an Uber, is what it looks like, and the bass from inside the club is pounding and you can barely hear what they're saying except that the guy standing next to them is also TMZ and he's got a directional mic sticking out of his pocket pointed at them and when he gets into position you can hear Shane Hollander, like, fucking giggle.

"I'm sorry," Shane says, and his arms are around Ilya's neck. "I got--I'm a little drunk."

"It's okay," Ilya says, and he brushes a hand through Shane's hair. "Did you have fun?"

"Ye-s-s-s," Shane says, nodding his head decisively. "We won the Cu-p."

"Yes we did. I am proud of you."

"I'm proud of you!" Shane cups a hand around the back of Ilya's neck and giggles again into his shoulder. "Why aren't you drunk? I drank the same things as you--"

"I'm drunk," Ilya chuckles. "But I have twenty pounds on you and I am Russian, so."

"That's not a thing. That's not really a thing." Shane sighs and goes a bit boneless against Ilya's body and says, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have, uh--"

"Shh. You said you had fun, and this is all that matters. My beautiful winner." He kisses the side of Shane's face, loudly and repeatedly.

Shane makes a sound that Twitter, TikTok and Instagram comment sections will all agree is a purr.

There are also, by the following morning, about a hundred discrete comments on various platforms that all say some version of Oh I just know he talks him through it.

[littlegirlinvisible]

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE 3.04: The Devils Road TVLTwT/IWTVTwT Version.

The Vampire Lestat is now streaming on AMC+. If you have the chance, please support the show by tuning in on the official platforms. Every view counts!

[wulfhalls]

the thing is. the thing IS. they were licherally in love here.

[hollanovarchive]

hi!! i apologize if this has already been asked, but i looked through your page and didn’t find anything - i was wondering if you knew of any fake/pretend relationship fics where they pretend to date for whatever reason and end up falling in love? kinda like the movie The Proposal if you’ve seen it? thank you for all that you do :)

ohhhhh I love this. Here is a list for you (:

Fake/Pretend Relationship

🏒 playing the waiting game | 1.1k

Shane is tired of his mother trying to set him up on dates since he came out to her. His best friend Rose gives him the idea of a fake boyfriend, there enters his so called rival Ilya Rozanov, who had a crush on Shane since their rookie year.

🏒 are you lonely just like me? | 2.0k

Shane is a high end escort who gets a mysterious request for a boyfriend experience that requires out of town travel from an I. Roz. Intrigued, he accepted the request and is surprised to find out who his mystery man is.

🏒 church bells, wedding rings | 6.8k

 Ilya and Shane get (fake) married for papers

🏒 call me maybe | 8.3k

“I’m not lonely, mom. I have a boyfriend!” Unfortunately, Shane does not, in fact, have a boyfriend.

🏒 better than your ex | 10.7k

when Yuna insists on setting Shane up with yet another guy, he says he’s already in a relationship and accidentally drops the name of the most unbearable person on earth. Now they have to spend Christmas together in Ottawa

🏒 why don’t we just play pretend (‘cause what if I never love again?) | 16.6k

the fake dating hollanov fic, in which Shane desperately wants his ex to think that he's no longer hung up on him and his rival Ilya Rozanov is more than happy to help.

🏒 Public Relations | 18.2k

The MLH needed good PR after another scandal. What better way to promote inclusivity than by forcing its two biggest rivals into a long-term and stable relationship?

🏒 Fake dating | 19.7k

“Is not a big deal, Hollander, you need fake boyfriend and I get a trip to, where was it, Kauai?” Ilya grinned. “It would be nice to take a week off and enjoy the sun.”

🏒 and i think i’d miss you, even if we’d never met | 23.5k

Shane Hollander refuses to show up to Rose Landry’s wedding alone after having his heart broken by the man-of-honour. Enter Ilya Rozanov, charming date-for-hire and possibly the hottest man Shane has ever seen. Shane needs him to play the perfect boyfriend for just one weekend.

🏒 damage control (with benefits) | 28.6k

When a college dean’s homophobic comments threaten to cost Northlake University its main sponsors (and therefore its entire hockey program), campus golden boys Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov are asked to fake-date for damage control.

🏒 bad idea, right? | 30.5k

After making up a fake boyfriend so his teammates would stop setting him up on dates, Shane is suddenly faced with the task of finding a real one on short notice in order to avoid humiliation

🏒 (and i want these words to) make things right | 42.7k

When Rozanov’s Russian team doesn’t want to let him return to the MLH after the 2012-13 lockout, Shane finds himself pulled into a harebrained scheme to make sure his rival is safe – and it might just work. Now he only has to navigate a secret pretend relationship while also facing the condensed MLH season. But needs must, right?

🏒 Just Go With It (Hollanov Remix) | 51.5k

Ilya asks Shane to pretend to be his soon-to-be-ex-husband so he can get a girlfriend.

🏒 Babe for the Weekend - Hollanov | 52.0k

The one where Shane accidentally lets his coworkers assume Ilya is his boyfriend and instead of telling them the truth, he convinces Ilya to play along for the weekend.

🏒 The Game Plan | 64.0k

No one will ever suspect, let alone find out, that the NHL’s greatest rivals are secretly married. And there’s certainly no risk of feelings getting involved. They have a game plan.

🏒 Terms of Agreement | 90.5k

When the Hollanders face a financial crisis that might end in bankruptcy, Shane finds himself agreeing to a deal that forces him into proximity with his archenemy to save his parents' legacy

🏒 With or Without You | 109k

the one where that one night in Vegas gets a little out of hand for Ilya and Shane and a marriage by accident could turn into one of convenience. And maybe, something more

🏒 The Rozanov Rose: No Feelings, No Exceptions. 🌹❤️🌹  | 112k

fake dating • secrecy • loving someone who was never going to choose you • happy ending, I promise 💔➡️❤️ • 🔥🔥🔥

🏒 Unplanned Affection | WIP

Shane tells Rose and Hayden he is in a relationship so he asks his fuck buddy Ilya Rozanov to be his (fake) boyfriend

🏒 boyfriend for hire | WIP

Shane Hollander makes a small mistake: he tells his family he has a boyfriend. Now he just has to find one. Enter Ilya Rozanov, his roommate, who needs money and has no problem pretending for a few days.

🏒 no net ensnares me | WIP

shane hollander presents as an omega after his first game following the NHL draft. in a desperate bid to keep his mouth shut, he meets with ilya rozanov who surprises him with an offer he’d be remiss to refuse

If you have any suggestions, feel free to add (:

Make sure to check out other fic rec request here -> Requested Lists

Check out other AU -> Age Gap AU | Arranged Marriage | BDSM/TPE AU | College AU | Co Workers AU | Dystopian AU | Escort AU | Fake/Pretend Relationship | Famous/Non Famous | Historical AU | Medical Professional AU | Mob Boss/Mafia AU | Sugar Daddy AU | Trans AU

[aenslem]

THE VAMPIRE LESTAT || 1.04 The Devil's Road