Normal is Relative; Let Others Make Their Own.

Panromantic genderqueer ace, Slytherin, pagan follower of Thoth. I am a Cute Potato

[ordinaryredtail]

For today’s wigglin wtuesday, have a more unsuccessful kestrel wiggle. he’s doing his best.

Source: American Kestrel Partnership

[ordinaryredtail]

Happy father’s day to this moron and this moron only

[bulbasaur-propaganda]

Growing up with your starters

Artist:  esasi8794 / Twitter

[chabbit]

The captions are also really cute, although they mostly describe what’s in each photo:

Bulbasaur: Somehow, nomming on my clothes… has become a weird habit of theirs.

Venusaur: That hasn’t changed now that they’ve grown, but they’re very gentle.

Charmander: It’s my first attempt, but I made a plushie so that he wouldn’t get lonely.

Charizard: That plushie seems to be his favorite even now.

Squirtle: Squirtle’s a bit timid and hides behind me at the smallest things.

Blastoise: Looks like they’re scared of the first Pichu they’ve seen. You’re not really hiding!

[notsomerryerry]

@noelle217

[gale-gentlepenguin]

This is adorable

[arrghigiveup]

They just posted some more!

[source]

[kradeiz]

And some more!

[eeveelution-appreciation]

You forgot these!!!

[cubonepropoganda]

I’m disappointed that these were left out

[a-redharlequin]

SO MANY GOOD ONES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[godofhyperrainbows]

If I ever don’t reblog this, kill me

[scretladyspider]

I mean

[furbearingbrick]

adhd is stored in the ass

[sunlitkoi]

the a in adhd stands for ass

[moonybyte]

What do the other letters stand for then?

[commodorecliche]

Ass Don't Have Dopamine

[arsonistblue]

I’m sorry Mrs. Teacher, I’m trying to focus but I’m 

dummy thicc

and the clap of my a(dhd)sscheeks keeps distracting my brain 

[writing-prompt-s]

You’re a daycare worker, watching over toddlers, when the imminent end of the world is announced. It becomes increasingly clear none of the kids’ parents are going to show up as the end inches nearer.

[bixbythemartian]

[Audio starts]

“Mom has been texting me for the last twenty minutes. She wants me to come home. It’s a four hour drive, when the roads are clear, and from what I hear everybody is trying to get somewhere right now. There’s no telling if I’d even-”

“Everybody else has left. All the other kids were picked up, the other staff left. They gave me all the keys. I promised to stay and wait for as long as- well. Even if some of the parents show up, I guess some of them won’t, so I’m just waiting. Until.”

[Clears throat.]

“A couple of people came after everybody left. Peter, one of Aidan’s fathers, gave me three hundred dollars for staying. What am I going to do with money? It’s- anyway. I kind of get it. He wanted to give me something.”

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“They’re all between 2 and 4.” Sniff. “They’re so little. Too little to really- maybe if they were older, I’d have to tell them something. But um. I’m just- trying to stay calm and keep them happy and occupied. I think that’s the best thing, right now.”

[Heaving breaths.]

“I normally use this recorder to help me remember stuff. It’s just, uh, habit to talk to it. I don’t know. They’re napping, right now. I’ve got the baby monitor, they know that if they talk into it, I’ll come, so-”

[Sobbing.]

[Audio ends]

[Audio starts]

“Mom keeps texting, so I blocked her. I sent her a text telling her goodbye, first, but. I do. But these kids need me.”

[Sniff.]

“I tried calling their parents again, but I can’t get anybody. It’s just busy signals. I called the firefighter station, 911. I can’t get through to anybody.”

[Shaky breath.]

“I went out into the yard. Um, I think they can play. It’s nice out, and you can’t really see it yet. Little bit of a glimmer, if they ask I’ll just tell them it’s a plane, but it’s nice out and we’ve got hours before-”

[Murmuring child’s voice, indistinguishable.]

[Audio ends]

Keep reading

[sisterofiris]

Hey students, here’s a pro tip: do not write an email to your prof while you’re seriously sick.

Signed, a person who somehow came up with “dear hello, I am sick and not sure if I’ll be alive to come tomorrow and I’m sorry, best slutantions, [name]”.

[yay855]

I mean, if someone wrote that to me, I’d probably believe they were sick.

[rox-and-prose]

“Slutantions” has me crying laughing

[watermite]

i once emailed my professor with a migraine. a mistake.

“I amsick will not to choir because i have a heache. i Hope its very and i am so sorry

love,

blue”

the subject line was “OW”

[xakumi]

THE SUBJECT LINE IS THE BEST PART JSJFJSJDJS JUST IMAGINE GETTING AN EMAIL WITH NO CONTEXT OTHER THAN “OW”

[themodernsouthernpolytheist]

As someone who has taught college, please send those emails because 1) We WILL believe that; no one would write that on purpose and 2) we need a laugh sometimes.

[asortoflight]

On the other side of this, once after getting taken to the ER by ambulance, I got an email from the professor whose class I’d passed out in, and the message had no text, just the subject line “you good?”

[whisky-gerblin]

Reblogging for the last addition

[simonalkenmayer]

A friend of mine once told a story about a professor of hers not showing up to class until five minutes before the class was to end. He was covered in blood, had a giant knot on his head, a black eye, a bandaged hand, and was carrying a helium tank. He entered the room in a fluster, dropped his armful of paperwork, sat down on the edge of the desk facing the class, then glanced over at the rank as if he hadn’t seen it before. She said someone asked if he was alright. He stuttered a bit, then finally managed to get out he’s been in an accident on the way to the campus, and had needed an ambulance. The students were horrified and demanded he cancel the class and go home. He said he could not, as he now had no car. When they asked how bad the accident was, he seemed very vague and somewhat in shock. Finally someone asked why he was carrying around the helium tank and offered to give him a ride home, and take the tank too. She said he looked around in a daze and said “that’s not mine.” She asked him why he had it. He said “It jumped into my car.” They immediately swarmed him, and helped him out of the room.

Eventually what became clear was that he was involved in a massive accident with a truck carrying the tanks, and this one flew through his windshield. He’d apparently been so determined to get to class he’d had the tow driver drop him at school and had grabbed his papers from the car, grabbing the tank in his dazed shock.

Long story short: these letters read like that story and the visual of this poor bloke dragging around a helium tank in mild confusion.

He was fine, by the way. Mild concussion.

[cattloverss]

[rhyolitepebble]

grey cat, gold eyes!!

gold cat, grey eyes!!

[tiktoksforlosers]

[ziraseal]

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

“What a shame the poor groom’s bride is a—”

“Watermelon?”

“No!!!”

.....why this kinda sLAP THO

[fauxfable]

If you need some cheering up, watch this video of my dad trying to get his jacket back from my stubborn cat😂

[startrekrenegades]

[Dad: Cookie… I’m pretty sure I left my jacket on the back of the chair, NOT in your bed. Cookie… can I have my jacket? Hmm? Can I have my jacket? C'mon. Here, let me have my jacket. Here, this is- this is my jacket, okay. Ah… myyy jacket. Cooookie, you’re not asleep. I KNOW you’re not asleep. This is my jacket. Y– *snickers* Here, here, llllet me have it. Pleeease? Can I have my jacket back? Please??? Little loaf– Cookie: *meow of protest* Dad: *laughing* Aw, c'mon, little loaf, give me my jacket!]

[tumblunni]

Your dad is the sweetest man alive. This genuinely did cheer me up a whole lot!

[justcatposts]

“My cat is known for her arm flops. So I recorded some more for you. Hope you enjoy it!“ 

(Source)

[babyanimalgifs]

“this is Lucy, she likes to pet the other dogs at daycare“ 

(via)

[popsunner]

Was just informed by my mom that I do in fact have ADHD and the reason I thought I didn’t was because ever since I was seven whenever I got super energetic my mom would have me go chop wood so now when I’m feeling The ADHD I go chop wood and I thought it was just some sort of routine I started when I was little and wanted to blow off steam

[popsunner]

I’d also like to point out that my sister has a really hard time staying present (I can’t remember the term because we’ve always called it Tethered at my house) and whenever she’s feeling Untethered my mom has her knead bread and make syrup because they’re repetitive and easy things to do that ground her

[popsunner]

Now that I’m thinking about it- my brother has days where he doesn’t talk and doesn’t eat unless he’s prompted, and on those days my mom sits him down in the fish pond in the backyard and plays Mozart and because he’s so used to that being his wake up he always comes back in after like an hour rambling about random things

[popsunner]

Oh yeah and when it rains my mom has a required hour where we all have to go outside and run around and whoever finds the most worms for the garden wins and then we go inside and my mom makes us tea and we watch Studio Ghibli movies

[popsunner]

Wait!!! When one of us has a bad day at school we make a fire in the backyard and roast homemade sausages and my mom tells us stories until we laugh and then she tucks is in bed like we’re five again and sings us songs

[popsunner]

Uh.... wait guys is my mom a witch raising a bunch of fae kids hold on-

[saint-batrick]

your mom is very definitely a witch raising a bunch of fae kids, please tell her i love her in the abstract way one can love a complete stranger.

[ltab-moving]

if you’re white and you act like race issues are just “unnecessary drama” or “discourse” then sorry to tell you but you’re just…. racist

[ltab-moving]

yes white people CAN and probably SHOULD reblog this just dont add on anything.

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

my kid has started to write stories and like, no lies, they’re funny as fuck

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

actual dialogue:

“to your battle stations, boys! it’s time to line up and see who’s tall enough for the roller coaster to hell!! some of us may not survive this, but the ones that do will get the ultimate reward.... paid.”

[anneuhken-deactivated20200828]

“here’s a penny for your thoughts, and a quarter to not tell me them”

B A B E

[sabertoothwalrus]

unmute

[copperbadge]

I have never so joyously reblogged a bird video in my life. 

[sepulchritude]

The “attention deficit” part of adhd is misleading imo because in my experience adhd is less “doesn’t have focus” and more “cannot control where the focus goes”

Forgot what you were doing because your brain zoomed way ahead and you were left scrambling to remember why you’re holding a dishtowel? Adhd

Looked up from your computer screen and realized you’ve been reading wikipedia articles about the mating habits of spiders for the past five hours and you haven’t eaten all day? Adhd

Can’t do the mildly intimidating task because every time you try to think about how to do it, your brain skitters away from the topic like a nervous mouse? Adhd

Didn’t do the dishes because you remembered them on the drive home but by the time you arrived you had already moved on to other topics? Adhd

Need to listen to a podcast while doing chores because neither task occupies enough of your attention to keep you engaged? Adhd

[takingbackourculture]

Let me teach you something about braids… by the_land on tiktok 

[fuurais]

[Transcription Start:

Hey you let me teach you a little something about braids! To indigenous people our hair is everything. When braiding our hair we’re supposed to have good thoughts because we’re connecting with out body, mind, and spirit; that’s what the three strands are for.

Braids are a simbol of strenght and wisdom and they reflect our identity as indigenous people. I wear my braid to show that I’m proud of who i am, and also to honor my ancestors.

I was teased and bullied because I had long hair, and i was also called a girl sometimes. But I wanna show boys and men that we should never be ashamed of our long hair. Our power is in our braids so let’s show them proudly. 

That’s why I want all boys and men to show off their braids proudly. Duet this video and if you’re watching this like it and show your support to our boys with braids. hoka.

End Transcription]

[sevdoesnotexist]

Hey quick tip, DONT FUCKING TAG INDIGENOUS POSITIVITY WITH THIS SHIT! Indigenous culture isn’t witchcraft, it’s not Pagan, and relating the two is some big time white people bullshit that we’re damn fucking tired of. Yes, indigenous practices can be used in witchcraft (if the practicer is indigenous) but they’re not the same so stop equating them