idk lmao

rose - she/her - 27 - aus

[thirdwheelravi]

forgot until just now that when i went to the grocery store today i turned down the oil/vinegar aisle and there was a store employee stocking the shelf and he said "welcome to the land of wonders" to me for some reason

[davidbyrne]

Dog in David Byrne Big Suit costume at dog costume contest in Brooklyn

Bonus:

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

[kiturak]

[ID: Post by Marco Kloos @marcokloos "Don't fret about your Amazon reviews. I just got a three-star review because my novel isn't a 36-count package of Jimmy Dean sausages."

below: thumbnail of the novel's cover over the following three-star Amazon review:

"Jinny Dean not in shop ink cart?

March 20, 2017

Hello why can't I get the 36 pack of Jinny Dean sauceages any more from the amazong? This web sight is sobbroin why isn't any help?? ¿ hello?"]

[fangs4faggots]

i think we should start openly mocking male creatives who can't figure out how to write women. like actually i think it's embarrassing that it took elliot page transitioning for christopher nolan to give him a good role. why did it take like ten years to get the first female lead in a marvel movie? why is it a Known Fact that stephen king can't write women? why is 50% of the population omitted from large ensemble works? i asked my friend to name a movie directed by a man with a majority female cast and he said ghostbusters 2016. ghostbusters. ghostbusters. g

[lowpawly]

people foolishly dismiss desserts and treats as having no nutritional value when they actually are necessary for refilling your sanity stat. to prove my point please observe the emotional stability of the next person you meet who doesnt let themselves ever eat any form of dessert

[parkayquarts]

so many amazing words in the english language. you have clandestine and precarious and serendipity and iconoclast and then you also have staunch and sludge and slurp and smudge

[trying-trying2lyk]

i love writing out numbers and then putting them in parentheses like "one (1)" even when i dont need to i think its funny

[justatiredlittlesnail]

[enki2]

[androdragynous]

[ID: A tweet by TylerAlterman:

"In the middle of a "forcing party" where friends and I are forcing one another to do the things that we've been avoiding.

So far: [bullet list] A passport has been filed for; An inbox has been zero'd; A personal website has been created; & more.

I recommend this format!"]

[anathemaegg]

call that attending an Executive Function

[gaylor-moon]

An autistic man with a special interest in the Harry Potter series has made the decision to value the lives and dignity of his trans friends more than a book about a wizard who grows up to be a cop, leaving you with no excuse whatsoever to keep wearing that Hufflepuff scarf, sources have reported.

Jack Harrington, 38, grew up reading the popular children’s stories, and soon developed an intense fascination with the world of the books, including knowing all about the suspiciously depicted money-hungry goblins, and that one time it was revealed that slavery is commonplace and accepted in the wizarding world.

In spite of this, however, Harrington has recently worked to redirect his interest towards media created by someone less troublingly focused on his friends’ genitalia.

“It was hard to do,” Harrington said. “I really love collecting things, and there’s so much merchandise to collect! But once I realised that it’s possible to collect things in a way that doesn’t make it harder for my mates to go for a piss when out and about, it really was a no-brainer.”

At the time of publication, Harrington was marvelling at the sheer amount of fiction available in the world that doesn’t actively contribute to material harm, and questioning whether you specifically really need that copy of Hogwarts Legacy for your PS5.

[depsidase]

[broken-horn-of-equius]

[bernard-jackson]

[dyke-pollinator]

You cant get this on any other website

[kira-serialfaggot]

[cuteratgirl]

Ah, but yes you can! Ordinary Sausage on youtube has spent years providing content for anyone who'd like to see just what would happen if you made a sausage out of whatever you can think of:

Recently Mr. Sausage has also been putting more time into his non-sausage videos, including stuff like Chicken Boiled in Nuclear Green Kool-Aid and Carbonated Eggs. Check it all out if you aren't prone to being easily grossed out.

[feraligatr]

[dknightlight]

The straight up whiskey sausage

[oraclebabs013]

[sasha-on-the-side]

Been talking about this with friends so I present to you, the cursed spectrum of media literacy

[i-might-be-vanny]

Added a Y axis from the notes

[casgirl]

I’m not gonna lie very little has been going according to keikaku these days

[prokopetz]

Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.

[prokopetz]

“Yes, in the balance of consideration this person’s behaviour could certainly be interpreted as flirtatious, but it would be purest arrogance for me to just assume they actually meant what they said. I should gather more evidence. Forever.”

[importantcatpics]

[retquits]

i get asked regularly for photos of jpeg and it honestly feels like this every time

[retquits]

i have been informed of how foolish it was to post this without an actual photo of her. my apologies. i present: miss jpeg 🤲

[shamesonlydaughter]

it doesn’t have to be good it just has to be done

[fiyero3305]

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

[blueindeed]

I tell this story all the time but I'll tell it again! When I taught kindergarten full time, we had a working bee one weekend where we did a bunch of gardening/landscaping in the outdoor area. One of the dads put up a bit of fencing, then stood back and had a look, kind of frowning like he wasn't sure. His wife then came along, and the following conversation ensued:

Wife: GETMO? Husband: (after a moment, with a sigh) Yeah, GETMO. Me: GETMO? Wife and husband, in perfect unison: Good Enough To Move On

Absolutely LIFE CHANGING acronym, friends and enemies.