My Blog

It is a blog in which all I do is reblog

[stardustpainter]

Ilya trying to outplay his demons

[ok-notgood-probablybad]

this means more to me than it should

[limpwristedrose]

Someone asking Luca after Shane's first season as AC on the Centaurs: "So, is it difficult with basically three captains, especially if two of them are married that must be hard to get used to.

And Luca and the other rookies being like, oh you mean the Dad-Trifecta? it's the best thing that has ever happened to us.

You loose your skates or you need help with paperwork or you're just feeling kinda sad and need a dad hug - you go Bood. he will grill you some chicken and go speak to Coach for you. You call him or Cassie if you're sick and they will pick you up and deposit you on the floor with Milo and you are their baby now. I'm 23 years old but that's my dad tho

If you're having trouble with other players, or if you're in like, a crisis? Mama Bear Ilya, will 100% get arrested for any of us and/or pick you up from the middle of nowhere any time of night. You wanna ragebait other players? He has the perception of a God and can tell from one look when a players second wife will leave him. He can also tell when you're feeling like shit mentally and he will pick you up take you to Harris farm and make you dog walk with him while throwing sweets at you. Holmberg got high sticked the other week Ilya spent like, 2 hours going through the guys Instagram with us while wine drunk and ripping his entire life to pieces with us.

and Shane? He will come early to practice for you, he will tell me things wrong with my playing I didn't know EXISTED. Boyle was in a slump Hollander turned up at our house with a fucking smoothie get your ass out of bed we're going to the rink and he will completely pull apart your playing style with such precision that's it's beautiful to watch and I'm not even mad about it. Roz will be giving a fucking captains speech about how we can do better next week and he'll fucking pipe up in the corner going, well we will if Lapointe improves his footwork Coach, we're gonna be staying late on Saturday and Wiebe is like, sounds good Hollander like COACH you can't Agree For Me and he'll just go, Shane Hollander is giving you a private lesson I don't care what you're doing cancel it

[future-demiurge]

Hollanov agree to record their wedding as a personal video diary of the day.

Shane’s surprisingly quite relaxed. He’s confident in their relationship, excited to be married, and knows that even if something goes wrong, it doesn’t matter, because at the end of the day he’ll be with Ilya.

Ilya is stressed. He keeps crying. This is the best day of his life. Shane deserves better, why would the greatest man on earth want him. He’s never been happier. Something’s gonna go wrong, he knows it. Bood, Troy, and Sveta have to keep calming him down and reminding him that Shane loves him and they deserve to be happy together. He locks himself in the bathroom.

Shane’s getting dressed with Hayden, JJ, and Rose, sipping champagne, feet up as he waits for the ceremony to start.

Once they manage to coax Ilya out of the bathroom, David comes in and does his canon speech about Ilya being his second son. The waterworks start again.

David then checks on Shane. “At least you’re doing okay.” “…. i-is Ilya not doing okay?” “Don’t worry about it, have another flute.”

[brokentoasterrr]

people often forget that characters lie all the time and while the concept of big dick ilya is fun and sexy, it is infinitely funnier to imagine shane, who is intimately familiar with ilya’s respectable six inch cock, pulling out a tape measure when he gets home after the infamous “nine inch dick” text exchange, measuring out nine inches, and just thinking to himself

this fucking guy

[yellow-cat]

the reason that wounds that break the skin hurt is because its always supposed to be dark inside your body and when your blood sees sunlight for the first time it gets scared. and that causes the pain. or maybe it doesnt

[munsons-mutiny]

Hollanov lie detector interview where Ilya begs beforehand to be allowed to ask every Rose Landry comparison he’s ever been insecure about, and he totally plays it out like he’s joking (he’s not).

Shane is like no! It’s embarrassing! And this is public! And you wouldn’t make me actually do that to Rose would you? You know the answer, I’m gay!

Only Rose thinks the whole thing is hilarious and gives Shane the go ahead so there’s no real reason to resist Ilya’s begging anymore, still he holds out to the day before the interview.

“Fine! Fine! You can ask about Rose, but I get to ask about anything I want too!” And Ilya’s like yes yes of course my love. His boring Shane would hardly ask anything damning.

Fast forward to the day of the interview Shane is fondly exasperated with Ilya’s Rose questions, and Ilya is being a cocky bastard so happy with how it played out.

Until they switch sides and Shane breaks out his first question:

“Is it or is it not true that despite famously calling Scott Hunter ‘a nearly extinct fossil’ you think he’s hot?” The blood drains from Ilya’s face pretty quickly after that.

“Do you think Hayden Pike is a good hockey player?”

“Do you consider Hayden Pike a close friend?”

“Who do you love more: me or Anya?”

“Besides me who is your favorite teammate?”

He gets so nervous all of his lies get caught, and by the end his asshole reputation is in shambles. Kip takes a video of Scott watching the interview and he laughs so hard he can’t even comment. It goes viral.

[scunthotter]

Ilya and the Centaurs hanging out with all of Ilya’s old teammates after playing Boston. Ilya does his disappearing act (aka going outside to talk to Shane for 30 minutes) and the Centaurs and the Bears are chatting and they start talking about the person they all have in common when Bood kinda shares a look with Hayes and goes "So, like, when he was in Boston was he this..."

"Scarily obsessed with Shane Hollander?" Cliff chimes in " Yeah, we're all a little worried he moved to Canada to stalk the man."

Everyone at the table gives a half hearted laugh at the "joke".

Ilya comes back, not even smelling like cigarettes smoke and the first thing he says is "Did you see the deke Hollander pulled against the Admirals goalie tonight." and no they had not seen it because they had all, Ilya included, been playing hockey at the time. Which means that from their perspective he had just been outside looking at Hollanders highlights for 30 minutes and suddenly everyone at the table is just a little less convinced. Like Cliff was just joking.

Probably.

Rozanov was almost definitely not stalking Shane Hollander.

That would be crazy right?

[libraford]

Googled something about quick hydration and it suggested big jug of water, couple tbsp pickle juice, dash of lime juice.

Its surprisingly tasty????

[libraford]

Pleased to report that after a day of this i am not longer craving caper brine and my mouth is not dry as usual. There's some good suggestions in the notes too that I want to try.

-ancient roman posca: water, red or white wine vinegar, honey, salt, herbs (coriander, mint, thyme)

-switchel: water, ginger, vinegar, sweetener, lemon, salt

-ayran: yogurt, water, salt, mint

-Agua pepino: water, cucumbers, lime, sugar, optional mint.

[libraford]

I have been reminded of:

-shrub: vinegar, sida water, elderberry (or other berry), sugar.

[libraford]

I have now been informed of

-sekanjabin: honey, vinegar, mint, water.

[libraford]

"Wow, I wonder why this post was popular this week."

-sees the reports of the heatwave in Europe-

"... ah."

[greater-than-the-sword]

When you're a kid you just take trees for granted. Then when you get to be an adult you realize that a fully mature tree cannot be created in an amount of time that fits in a convenient landscaping timeframe for love nor money nor all the powers of science. Then you realize that people are very very very cavalier about chopping them down

[believeripley13]

I love the opening of Heated Rivalry so much because it sets up the show and Shane and Ilya's dynamic so perfectly. From "not the most sociable" Shane Hollander actively going out of his way to interact (because he's already fascinated by him) to "not liked outside of his own locker room" Ilya Rozanov being a bit of a cocky shit (which we pretty quickly realise is a front) to the instant spark of attraction.

Look at this man experiencing freckles and awkward Canadian politeness and developing a fat crush.

My favourite part however is as Shane is leaving clearly uncomfortable with how their conversation went (he does a head tilt like "well, that went horribly")

Ilya notices and that's when he chirps, immediately making Shane more comfortable as he chirps back. And thus, their lovingly teasing, when they say "asshole" and "boring" they really mean "I love you" dynamic is born.

Also, yes, Ilya's lighter doesn't spark until Shane appears which is just an additional beautiful touch.

[perlukafarinn]

After the foundation is established and before they're outed, Shane and Ilya go viral on hockey twitter.

It's All Stars and a camera catches them sitting together on the bench during the skills competition, leaning in and whispering to each other, clearly trying to be sneaky. They're both kind of smiling, looking like they're trying not to laugh. Then Ilya says something that makes Shane crack up and have to hide his face while he's trying to pull himself together. This moment gets giffed and everyone is dying to know what made the famously cool and collected Shane Hollander laugh like that.

Shane and Ilya don't comment on this incident despite being asked repeatedly and after they're outed, everyone assumes they were just flirting. They readily let that be the story, because they're not about to admit they were actually talking major shit about the other players.

[sanfairyanntome]

Travels with Shane and Ilya

Part One - Ireland

“I told you not to put it in on the plane.” Ilya could see the look of mild panic in Shane’s eyes when he saw the length of the arrivals queue at Knock Airport.

“It’s that woman in the opposite row’s fault. I asked her how long it takes to get from the airport to Ashleigh Castle and she said, Ahh no time at all. You’ll be grand.”

Shane elbowed Ilya because he could see the smirk appearing on his face.

“You’re so impatient.” Ilya said, biting his bottom lip in a stupidly attractive way that made Shane clench even harder. “And you’re also terrible at doing an Irish accent!” Ilya laughed and slid his hand down into Shane’s back trouser pocket. They’d been travelling for almost eighteen hours. Ottawa to Toronto. Toronto to Heathrow, and finally Heathrow to Knock. Ilya had wanted to book an overnight stay in London to experience the Soho nightlife, but Shane had pouted at that. Shane wanted to go straight to the quiet, and very romantic, Irish castle. The huge fireplaces and grand rooms he’d seen on the website did something to his brain, and he couldn’t stop fantasising about seeing Ilya spread eagled on one of those luxurious four poster beds.

“Shane?” Ilya playfully squeezed Shane’s butt, snapping him out of his daydream. The queue was moving forward, but not fast enough for someone who had impatiently decided to insert a plug just before landing, thinking he would be all cosy and naked in “no time at all”. It seemed to take forever to get to the passport control desk.

“Now then lads. What brings you to Mayo on this fine day?” The guard had the look of someone who could easily smile and make polite conversation with you, while also bending you over in an examination room to do a full body check for illicit substances. Shane gulped.

“We are on our honeymoon.” Ilya beamed.

.

To be continued

[sweetangelfart]

Yuna posts a carousel of ilya on her Instagram page to celebrate his birthday with the caption, "My youngest turns a year older today. Thank you for bringing your big heart and soft smiles into our lives. Your perseverance, intuition and ambition never fails to amaze me. We can't wait to see what the future has in store for you and we're so so glad to call you our son.

P.S David asked me to tell you that he is very excited about the puzzle he picked out to do with you."

All the pics are of ilya being soft 🤧

Him at the dinner table stuffing his face with chicken parm with a mountain of cheese, the marinara sauce tinge the corners of his mouth

Him and Yuna on the couch, his head on her lap, her fingers lost in his curls

Him in the backyard of his house, sat on the ground while Anya licks his face

Him and shane passed out on different parts couch on their tummies, with their fingers tangled together

Him with the pikelings treating him like jungle gym. The twins hang from his biceps while Arthur is licking an ice lolly sat on his shoulders totally zoned out and little Amber has wrapped her teeny tiny hands around one of his knees. To be noted, he is wearing one of his expensive ass ray bans and his nails are painted in the bi flag and he's wearing those necklaces from the DIY jewellery making kits for kids.

Him solving a puzzle with David at the dinner table with a blanket around his shoulders

Him posing with 2 hotdogs as if they are guns, face scrunched in mock strain

A family photo of four of them in a restaurant all happy smiles, a bit shaky due the staff being nervous

Him sticking his tongue out at shane with the TV remote in one hand keeping it out of reach while the other arm tries to push shane away

The hudcon lick™️ on the ice but hollanov in their Ottawa jerseys

Him and shane at the dock with Shane's arm around his waist and his wrapped around Shane's shoulders at they watch the sun rise at the cottage

A picture of them at their wedding, shane throwing his head back laughing, his hand on his stomach with the wedding band glinting as ilya tries to hide his smirk into his champagne glass

When ilya finds out, he blushes deep red and tries to hold back tears.

"Shaaaannneeee, mama is trying to make me look uncool!!! She's posted nice pictures and its ruining my reputation!!" As he whines and poutspoutspouts while shane laughs at his face and feeds him cake

[feel-like-expl0sions]

chasing cars by snow patrol really hits harder everytime i listen to it like,, what if i DID just lay here???? would u lie with me and just forget the world??????? please???????????

[carnelianfoxx]

there's a really funny 3d printing controversy going on btw.

if you don't know, there's a very popular 3d printing model out there called "benchy". this is used for benchmarking your 3d printer because it's a difficult print and will help test it out.

this is so widely used that people make their own little versions of it, remixing the 3d model to make benchy look cooler and stuff. however, a new company owns the benchy license. they are sending copyright takedowns to all those who wrongfully uploaded the benchy model.

of course, this is pissing off the 3d printing community greatly. everyone loved benchy and have used it for years. so someone on reddit decided to make a new model that is designed as a 3d printing stress test. one that works a lot like benchy, and people are freely able to edit it as they please. you know what they called it?

boaty.

[mutinsfromthemoon]

ilya mic’d up talking with his teammates about recipes he’s been trying recently and tricks he’s been trying to teach anya. and shane mic’d up barely having something that producers can actually use because of the amount of swears

[hockeyhockeyjoyjoy]

Examples of Ilya quotes from his mic'd games:

"You try the steak rub, Bood? Good, yes? Yuna is a queen, I know. Yes, next weekend is good for barbecue, if weather holds. Littlest Pikes might visit, we will see."

"She will jump through the hoop on ground, why not 4 inches up?? So frustrating. Shane says to use real bacon for treats, maybe then, but is so salty. Nitrites too, you know. Bad for her. No, have not baked her special treats, Troy! What?? Recipe, now!"

"Shanya has new glasses. Very sexy. Even without them he can see puck better than 47, though, on wing? This man is terrible, yes? Is not entirely his fault, probably, Columbus is mostly very bad. Look at stupid tape job, though. Ugh."

"I want syrniki after game. You want? I have made you syrniki, Luca. Little pancakes. Yes, very, very good. Okay, not tonight, but come over on Saturday, we will have syrniki and force Shane to eat it too. Yessssssss, okayokay, good plan."

Examples of Shane quotes from his mic'd up games:

"Jesus FUCKING Christ what the FUCK is wrong with the Dallas refs holy SHITTING ass. Can they not fucking see their own fucking asses? Do they need fucking Lasik?"

"I am going to goddamn disembowel the next person who chirps us about the FUCKING baby shower. That shit was cute and Cassie fucking loved it. Come the fuck on, it's what fucking year? Men can throw baby showers, shit. Get over yourselves, assholes."

"He thinks he's hot shit, yeah, with ugly fucking edges like that. Fuuuucking ridiculous, am I right? What a motherfucking joke. Let's run a train on his ass next shift, you fucking in?"

"Dyks, I fucking love you, man, that shit was insane, so fucking dope. Yeah, yeah, I know Hazy loved it too. Broke their shit right up, they thought they had a lane, hahaha! As fucking if with you on the ice, bro. Nice. Fucking nice."

Ilya: Suburban Dad who plays some rec league, maybe

Shane: Intensely professional jock insulted by your basic lack of talent and skill, might kill you

- - -

Masterlist of my Tumblr drabble lore drops for Hollanov and HR is here. 🥰

✨🏒✨

[rainbow-femme]

Ok but headcanon that Shane is one of those people who will just write “Love, Shane” at the bottom of a card UNTIL he feels comfortable being vulnerable with that person, at which point he writes the most heartbreakingly sweet and earnest notes

And no one is ever ready for the switch, and even after it happens they can never fully prepare themselves for what they’re going to get. Shane has learned that when he’s going to do that he should take them aside to give them the card rather than in front of people

Once Shane feels comfortable with Hayden as a genuinely good friend in his birthday card that year he writes out a whole thing about how he’s always wanted a best friend like other kids had but never had one and had accepted he never would, and then Hayden came into his life and gave him a level of love and friendship he never thought he would get and he loves everything about Hayden and can’t wait to be by his side as friends and brothers for the rest of their lives. Hayden fully breaks down and loses it, Jackie notices they’ve been gone a while and walks into the kitchen to see Hayden hugging Shane and sobbing into his shoulder. She raises her eyebrows at Shane and Shane just gives her the OK sign and goes back to rubbing Hayden’s back

Ilya learns about the card thing when it’s yunas birthday and he notices her opening Shane’s card like she’s deactivating a bomb. She stares silently as she reads it and Ilya starts freaking out a little when she starts to tear up and then pulls Shane in for a long silent hug. He looks at it later and sees that Shane wrote about how the last year made him realize over again how lucky he is to have someone as strong and supportive as her as a mother and he hopes to one day be half the parent to his own kids as she was to him

When it’s their first time having Ilya’s birthday together he’s legitimately nervous because this is his first Shane Card and he doesn’t know what to expect and part of him is afraid he’s built it up too much in his head and Shane won’t have as nice things to say as he did with other people. And then he opens the envelope and there’s no card but instead multiple pieces of paper because Shane couldn’t fit it all into a limited space. Ilya spends the better part of the next hour walking around the house reading it, taking breaks occasionally to cry or hyperventilate before going back to reading it because holy shit does Shane Hollander love him. Like he knew logically that Shane did but now he’s got pages and pages of Shane walking him through his feelings over the last decade of their life and every moment he remembered and cherished. Shane finally catches up to him and he’s on the floor of the kitchen, face a splotchy red mess, chugging Gatorade because he’s dehydrated from crying

David texts later to ask how his first Shane Card was and he just sends a wall of crying emojis and David is like “LOL yup, the first Father’s Day he did that for me I had to take the week off work or else I would remember it and cry in my office”