So Peter gets his powers when he’s 13, and Ben dies a couple months later. Then he becomes Spiderman. A year later, May is dating Happy. Maybe May was going to lose the apartment, so Happy suggests they move in with him at the Tower.
Peter, meanwhile, is so fucking nervous bc he’s already been recruited as Spiderman for Civil War, but Tony never pried when Peter said he didn’t want to take off his mask or share his identity yet. Tony, feeling generous mostly bc he was desperate for help, decided not to push it.
And now he has to LIVE in Tony Stark’s tower? How is he supposed to be a friendly neighborhood spiderman when he lives in high security with an AI tracking his every move?? He’s had to become very sneaky about going out for his spider related activities.
Then a few months pass. Maybe it’s almost Christmas. And Spiderman gets the crap kicked out of him bc the Avengers interrupted him trying to talk down some bad guy or whatever and basically it’s their fault he gets super hurt.
And then they take the mask off when he’s in the medbay so they can fully asses the damage, and it’s stunned silence. Because Spiderman is a child. Did anybody know Spiderman is a child?
No one speaks until Happy just, “Peter, what the FU-”
“Don’t be mad don’t be mad don’t be mad!!!” Peter immediately interrupts him. “And please don’t tell Aunt May!!! Happy if she finds out, she’ll freak out. And when she freaks out, I freak out!”
“I know that!”
“So don’t tell her!!!”
“Happy,” Tony interrupts, speaking slowly. “Who the hell is this kid?”
“Really, Tony?” Happy scoffs, and now he’s offended on both his own behalf and Peter’s. “He’s May’s nephew!”
“…May?”
“My girlfriend!”
“Oh, the hot nurse?”
“Hey!” Peter’s voice wavers.
“Tony, they BOTH live here. You’ve met them.”
“I meet a lot of people, do you expect me to remember all of them?”
“When they’re important, yes, I do!”
They’re bickering back and forth while Peter slowly inches toward the edge of the bed, unhooking himself from IVs and whatnot. He does pause a moment when he hears Happy call him important, because he didn’t think Happy actually liked him all that much and that he only put up with him for May’s sake, so it’s a nice surprise to hear. He’s nearly to the door when there’s a hand on his shoulder, tugging him back.
“And just where do you think you’re going?” Happy asks, marching him right back into the bed. “A building just fell on you! Get back in bed!”
“S’not like it’s the first time,” he huffs, but he realizes it was the entirely wrong thing to say when Happy and Tony both zero in on him and ask him to repeat himself. “I mean, uh, nothing! I didn’t say anything!”
“I knew you were gonna give me gray hair,” Happy groans, falling into a chair near Peter’s bed. He looks like he might faint.
“Well,” Tony says, brushing imaginary lint from his clothes, “perhaps now you’ll reconsider that internship offer, won’t you, Spider-Kid?”
“It’s Spider-Man,” Peter mumbles.
“Internship? What internship?” Happy snaps.
“I offered Spiderling an internship after Germany–”
“You!” Happy accuses, standing and pointing a finger at him. “You took my kid to Germany!”
“Yes, you were there.”
“Well I didn’t know he was a kid! Or that he was my kid!”
“Well, I didn’t know either!”
They’re bickering again, arguing about Tony being irresponsible and not thinking things through.
Until Peter’s voice breaks through their argument, asking, “Did you just call me your kid?”
Happy freezes, a little embarrassed, until he scoffs a bit and says, “Of course you’re my kid, Peter! I drive you all over New York, I went to your parent-teacher thing when May was working late, you eat me out of house and home–”
“–I have a fast metabolism–”
“–of course you’re my kid!”
Happy is stammering, and Peter is refusing to make eye contact, and Tony makes a gagging noise.
“Just hug and have your little Disney Princess moment or whatever. I’ll come back when you’re done being so sentimental, it’s making me sick.”
Happy glares at him as he walks out, even though he does also immediately go over to check on Peter and hold him close for a moment.
“Does Mr. Stark not like me?”
“I think, unfortunately for me, he likes you a lot.”
Peter looks at him confused. Happy just shoves his head back under his chin so he can hold him close a moment longer. He damn near had a heart attack when the Spiderman mask came off and Peter’s big, freaked out eyes were staring back at him.
