To commemorate my first trip to ABQ (driving down today), I wanted to write something quick about Waltās continuously broken windshield in Season 3 and how, at least to me, it serves as a symbol of how fractured he and Jesse are in the time between Janeās death and Galeās death.
Waltās windshield breaks a total of three times after Jane dies. In a way it represents him being unable to see the way forward in his life during this time, just as the broken glass prevents him from seeing the road ahead of him clearly. He is trying to shove down the guilt he feels about what heās done, heās unable to predict the consequences of his actions, and he canāt see whatās right in front of him. But on a more specific level, all three windshield incidents are Jesse-related - the breaks represent their relationship and Walt's emotional volatility in relation to Jesse. Walt canāt predict him, which he both thrives on and is eternally frustrated by, but he also canāt predict what HE will do FOR Jesse because itās often a decision made on emotional impulse and not a carefully laid plan. He is at his most impulsive when Jesse is involved, which is a huge factor in why his feels so alive in this business.
Anyway, the first break comes from the plane accident - a direct result of Waltās 'in the moment' decision to let Jane die. He made that choice for Jesseās sake, to ānever give up on familyā, but also selfishly, because with Jane out of the picture, there is no one to pull Jesse away from him and no one to turn him in or threaten to. The plane crash that follows is something Walt grapples with for a while, trying to reason his way out of feeling responsible for that tragedy. But he knows, deep down, that his choice to āsaveā Jesse from Jane came at a great cost (and really the dominoes began to fall way before that).
Walt takes a long time to fix that windshield because he doesn't want to face his involvement in breaking it. He doesnāt want to see the path forward, he takes comfort in the obstructed view, but the broken windshield also serves as a reminder of what heās caused. Just like the teddy bearās eyeball, the broken windshield keeps the plane crash with him, it keeps Jane and her father with him, and it tells him āthis is what your attachment has wrought, but it was worth it because heās still aliveā.
The second windshield break comes when Walt pushes Jesse over the edge with his cold-ass āIām in, youāre outā line in Saulās office. This is the moment in S3 when their relationship is most fractured. Walt is mad because he sees Jesse as ungrateful for his help, for paying for rehab and giving him a place to sleep. To Jesse, he is only doing what he thinks is the only thing heās good at and he wants Mr. White to be proud of what he accomplished on his own. But in Waltās mind, Jesse thanked him by turning around and āstealing his formulaā (which Jesse views as THEIR formula) and trying to poach his distributor. So Walt plays nasty, effectively telling Jesse that not only are they done as partners, but he actually means nothing to Walt on a personal level, either, which devastates and infuriates Jesse.
Walt doesnāt anticipate Jesseās emotional reaction to that level of rejection. Itās just money, right? But for Jesse, who has been abandoned by every trusted adult in his life through rejection, neglect , or death, itās so much deeper than just not being allowed to cook. Walt isnāt just taking the formula, Walt is taking their shared history. So Jesse is the one who breaks the windshield this time, by throwing a rock at it (not sure how Walt didnāt predict this, since Jesse always throws things when heās mad, like a frustrated housewife). I think itās significant that although Walt does get the glass fixed quickly, he leaves the tape on the windshield for literally the rest of the season - a reminder of that moment, that betrayal, as he spends the remaining episodes of S3 ārepairingā his connection to Jesse. The blue tape is there to remind him as he moves forward, 'you did this, Walt, and don't forget itā. But itās all a bandaid, ultimately - from paying for rehab to bringing Jesse into the super lab, none of it addresses his deeper feelings, so the wounds are all still there.
And then, of course, the final break is when Walt impulsively runs the two dealers over with no regard to the consequences for himself. This is maybe one of the only truly selfless things Walt ever does (though he retroactively makes it selfish by using this event to manipulate Jesse later). He walks out on his family to stop Jesse from getting himself killed knowing full well he could just as easily die trying, but he doesnāt give it a second thought. And so the windshield comes full circle - the first time it breaks is the result of āsavingā Jesse, but in doing so he also so thoroughly ruined Jesse, and the final time it breaks is also the result of saving Jesse, though he canāt anticipate how these dominoes will fall either.
Itās worth noting that Walt regains a lot of confidence from doing this. Heās been a cog in Gusā machine but now he can don his Heisenberg hat and confidently meet Gus in the desert to not only defend Jesseās actions as well as his own, but to make demands to keep them both safe for the moment. And, again, he keeps the broken windshield until Mike tells him he HAS to get it fixed. A reminder, but this time itās a positive one, a brag, even - āsee the lengths I will go for him, no matter the costā. No half measures, right Mike? (But thatās an essay for another day).
The evolution of the glass mirrors Waltās own evolution - at first, he avoids facing the shame he feels for his choices, the second time around he wants the reminder of the damage he caused so that he will feel bad, and by the third time heās proud of the damage. āLook on my works, ye mighty, and despairā and all that jazzā¦
Walt does get the car fixed, fully this time and with no blue tape in sight, because the way he sees it, the break in his top priority relationship has already been repaired (for now). Jesse is devoted to him again, completely. Jesse is relying on him for safety and security. Jesse sees him as a hero again. Jesse knows he will kill for him if needed. And I donāt think Walt even knew he would do that until he did it. The path forward wasnāt clear until that moment. Impulsive, unpredictable. Alive.
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