Pencil Scribbles

I'm Beth and I write stuff sometimes

[stairwaywithwords]

Daylight Saving

The world is bright when the day is just dawning, The sun cuts through the low-hanging fog A bird sings good morning like yesterday but it sounds new. The breeze touches your face like it’s blind. It wants to see you when you skin finds this sun and glows with it.

Smile if you want to, Life is small when it is only you.

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Hold

I can see you've got a hold on me, Some days I hope you’ll loosen your grip, Others I think I’d miss it if it was gone. Your fingertips, Cold to the touch, Your heart beat in your thumb. But I know this isn't right, Just a bit too tight. Stifling.

Hard to say no, though. Hard to wriggle out of plans like hands around My throat.

[stairwaywithwords]

World (20.9.2015)

I saw the world and said “Inspire me”. She turned and replied,

“you first”.

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Sea (6.8.15)

Shallow shining Blue in the sun. White tipped waves caressing the sand, Pulling pebbles into her bed, A welcome change to the  Jagged black shapes that live there, just hidden enough from view to catch a boat or two. Unforgiving but undeniably a part of her, A fact offering no comfort. And Sea can only watch on. Sea always watches on, Helpless, black, cold.

The beach is her haven, Laughing and footprints to fill, Kinder than the cliffs, which are like talking to brick walls. The beach is conversation, the beach is a listener Sea is lonely on the horizon, But the beach really gets her ebb and flow, ebb and flow, ebb and flow.

[stairwaywithwords]

Love Lost in Translation

Stolen looks And science textbooks. Feet tap what I can’t say.

.. / .-.. --- ...- . / -.-- --- ..-

[stairwaywithwords]

Permanent

I squeezed a spot on my nose A little too hard With the looped end of a hair clip. I've got a scar there now And I don't think it will ever go away.

The spot would've though.

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Pencil on Paper

Pencil on paper Sounds like my mind. Rubber on pencil on paper Sounds like you.

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Values (10.11.2014)

Value the heart, not on its cracks But on the amount cellotape and superglue it bares. Value it not on the damage it suffers upon impact with the cold stone floor, But on the number of pieces that were Picked up.

Do not value it on the poison which has spread through you Since they left you, They died, They told you that they loved someone who wasn't you.

Value the heart on the love hastily injected, a slow working antidote Prescribed to be given every day as many times a day as Humanly possible.

[stairwaywithwords]

New Year, New Me

New year, new me. New month, new me. New day, new me. New hour, new me.

New moment, new me.

Break free from your mold, If you want Whenever you want. Don't wait for January 1st Start at 14:38 on April 9th Or some time in June in the middle of the night. Start tomorrow, Start now If you want.

The opportunities to start over are endless But sometime it takes a countdown to remind us

They're there

[stairwaywithwords]

Chivalry

Your chivalry is insulting me,

So stop trying to give up your seat.

You and I both know the views are better on your feet

and that you're not really being chivalrous,

you're just trying to assert some sort of authority

but you're not in control of me

I control me.

  And there's no need for you to insist that you assist me with my bags

Just because I'm a girl it doesn't mean my arms don't work.

I'm not stupid, I chose this weight because I knew I was capable.

Do not allow yourself to believe that my gender shows that I am the weaker one of us

Or that you're assistance is more valuable than mine.

Do not give up your chair for me,

I can stand up for myself

[stairwaywithwords]

I'll Forget your Voice One Day

I'll forget your voice one day, It will fade into a whisper in my head. That whisper will slowly ebb away into a sigh, merely a breath, almost inaudible. I have no doubt that one day your voice will be gone But I will hold onto it's final sigh, of pain and love and loss. I will grieve the space your sound took up, I will clutch onto the air in which it once settled And I will not forget that I forgot your noise, That I forgot your sniffs, Your hums, Your snores, Your deep chuckle, and the words you formed I will not forget that I forgot you, I will always know the empty space was yours.

[stairwaywithwords]

Camera Phones (draft)

My friend has an embarrassing photo of me on her phone And she won't delete it. I hate that picture of me.  I hate pictures of me. I hide behind heads in group photos, One hand over my stomach, I know I'm not huge but I see the lens And it magnifies my flaws Pinpointing Imperfections to the point where they become real And I look in the mirror And there it is, that photo. That one on my friend's phone, The one where she caught me off guard The one I didn't have time to hide from. My friend put a picture on Facebook, And I was leaning over a little bit And you could see some of my bra And I don't have amazing boobs or anything so it looked pathetic And my tummy stuck out And I hadn't washed my hair, Or shaved my legs And I forgot how ugly I look when I smile. She's standing next to me, And she's beautiful, Her figure is so good And she's smiling but not too much. And there she is standing next to me, I'm fucking disgusting. You all sit behind me and giggle together Not at me, no, Of course you're not laughing at me. I can see your phones You hold them as though you're taking a photo of me, You're not, why would you? Am I sweating? Did I pull a stupid face at the wrong moment? What is it? Why are you laughing at me? We've been sat at the park for hours, It's hot so we're drinking water. You're younger than us, why are you coming towards us? We're outnumbered three to eight and you're on bikes. Come on let's go, I want to go now. "Pussy patrol!" "I fucked your mum!" Please go, go away. Okay, laugh it off, they'll get bored. They'll leave, don't say anything, don't, Don't say anything. Put the phone away, please, Please put it away, don't film me. I can feel it That fucking lens I can feel it Magnifying my imperfections. I hold my stomach with my hand And cover my face. I hate pictures of me. There's an embarrassing picture of me on my friend's phone And she won't delete it. I hate pictures of me. I hate pictures. I hate me.

[stairwaywithwords]

Coat

Take your time. Let your stutter shatter silences let your whispers settle in the air around us. Talk with your eyes and your hands talk with your heartbeat, your tapping feet. Spill out your soul and let me catch it in my hands, let me take it away, this pain, so it splashes onto me like rain. And we can stand and hold hands, with wet hair. I will hold you as the world crumbles around you. I will walk over broken glass with you on my back. And I will give you my coat every time.

[stairwaywithwords]

Words

So, on her death bed she said nothing; she couldn't think of the right words.

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Unless

Tight dress compress impress caress undress a mess confess useless Goddess. Unless...

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Jumpers

You died nearly ten years ago; I'm wearing one of your jumpers to bed.

[stairwaywithwords]

Bless you

Bless you I hope, you get well Bless you soon Because you've used up all my Bless you tissues