starpoke @starpoke - Tumblr Blog

I love when ppl draw Jax with abstraction hair it's so pretty. here's my contribution

#tadc #tadc jax #transfem jax #the amazing digital circus #tadc spoilers #tadc fanart #jax fanart

So if Caine and Kinger finally have a father-son relationship… does that mean Kinger calls him by his first name, all three middle names, and last name when he’s about to unleash the full force of his parental wrath

starpoke

i'm giggling this is so cute

ctrl-alt-del-au

Part 2 of Episode 1

absolutedream-art

bearcosmic

Spleen Recovery Part 1

Damian: Timothy, now that we have we officially have a truce and are ‘brothers’ in definition if not in essence, I have prepared a present for you. Happy Birthday

Tim: Thanks Dami, i’m sure i’ll love it.

Dick: *tearing up* I love seeing you guys get along. Open it up Tim!

Tim, opening the present: . . . Damian is this what I think it is

Damian: Yes, you are welcome.

Dick: Is that— is that an organ Dames?

Tim: . . .

Dick: Damian? What!? How did you—WHY did you, WTF?!?

Jason: No fucking way

Tim: *tears in his eyes* this is the sweetest present i’ve ever got in my life.

Damian: I hope this will serve as a symbol of the new leaf we have turned.

Dick: Wait is that TIMS SPLEEN

Jason: I can’t believe the decrepit bastard actually kept it preserved in a jar. Where did you find it?

Damian: On a small stool besides his throne.

Dick: . . . Tim why don’t you open up your next gift. and for the love of God please put that away.

Tim: Wait i’m gonna be right back, I’m gonna go show B!

5 Minutes Later

Bruce: DAMIAN. DAMIAN CAN I TALK TO YOU PLEASE

avayarising

The Batfam Death Project Masterpost

This post will contain links to all major posts relating to this project. Subscribe for updates, which will be announced in the replies to this post.

General information

Introduction

Timeline of all deaths and major world events

Charts and figures

Lists of death experiences and related events

(actual depicted deaths + ambiguous/implied/inferrable/arguable deaths + non-death trips to the afterlife)

List of all Bruce’s deaths (dozens (around 20 separate incidents) + 2 + 0)

List of all Dick’s deaths (5 + 0 + 2)

List of all Jason’s deaths (5 + 3 + 0)

List of all Tim’s deaths (3 + 3 + 2)

List of all Damian’s deaths (6 + 2 + 1)

List of all Cass’s deaths (2 + 2 + 1)

List of all Steph’s deaths (2 + 1 + 0)

List of all Barbara’s deaths (1 + 0 + 0)

List of all Alfred’s deaths (2 + 0 + 0 + 3 undead appearances)

List of all Kate’s deaths (1 + 1 + 0)

List of all Duke’s deaths (0 + 1 + 0)

(These numbers may be subject to change if I uncover further death experiences.)

More details on selected individual events

Dick in the Murder Machine: Forever Evil 6–7, 2014.

Bruce’s first death – the Death Cheaters: Batman 1:72, 1952.

Bruce’s longest death – The Obsidian Age: JLA 1:68–75, 2002–2003.

hedgehog-moss

I went to the small pizzeria in a nearby village last month and asked for a calzone, and when she brought it to me the owner had a look on her face I can only describe as bitter.

Naturally my first assumption was that she was judging me for my food order (maybe calzones are too easy compared to other pizzas and she felt under-challenged as a pizza chef?), but then I looked at my calzone and the more I looked at it, the more I felt like it might have been a failed attempt at a cat calzone.

(I didn't ask for a cat calzone, just a calzone.)

If I had immediately identified it as a cat calzone I would have of course said something about it, such as "Aww that's so cute! You made it in the shape of a cat!! Thank you!" — but it was too late. I hesitated too long, and it was just failed enough that I wasn't sure it was meant to be a cat.

I think this poor woman knew her cat calzone was a failure and I wouldn't be able to recognise her effort for what it was, hence the bitterness in her eyes when she brought it to me.

I asked my friend if my pizza looked like a cat to her, and she said "Are you saying this because of the olives? I think they were just placed randomly."

no, I think they were meant to be eyes, and a cat nose. And those are the ears. Wait, I'll turn it in your direction so you can see

Friend: "It's just a pointy calzone... Maybe you should ask the chef if she meant to make it a cat?"

If I tried to make a cat calzone and the recipient of this gift went like 'hey, sorry, is this weird-looking thing meant to be cat?' I would sell my pizza restaurant and drown myself in the river.

After considering this, my friend said we could brainstorm a better phrasing—but then we ended up agreeing that since the chef didn't go 'haha sorry I tried to make a cat and failed!!' when she brought my pizza, the options were a) she didn't try to make a cat; b) she feels humiliated by her failure, and either way it's better to say nothing.

But I felt deeply curious about this unresolved mystery, so this week when I went back to the pizzeria I asked for a calzone again.

The options were now: a) the chef brings me a better, recognisable cat calzone and I immediately remark upon it and she's happy and we erase the failed cat calzone from the historical record and never mention it ever;

or b) the chef brings me a normal calzone, which suggests that the vague cat shape from last time was accidental and just another instance of chronic cat pareidolia.

(I refused to consider option c) The chef brings me another failed, hardly-recognisable cat. She just doesn't seem like the kind of person who would let that happen to her twice.)

Here's the photo of the failed cat calzone from last time, which, according to my friend, just looks like a pointy calzone with randomly-placed olives and not a deliberate attempt to make a cat:

And here's what the chef brought me this time:

THAT'S A CAT.

I knew it!!!!

And it looks so sad!! This cat calzone looks like it will burst into olive oil tears if you once again fail to identify it as the cat that it is

But I didn't; I was so ready this time. I went "A cat!!!!! It's so cute!" and the chef went like yes!!! I tried to make one last time but it looked weird :(

I said I was pretty sure it was a cat last time and apologised for not bringing it up and she said no, it's my responsibility to make it a decent cat. She also said she was glad I'd come back and ordered another calzone because she was really bothered ("vraiment embêtée") by that first failed attempt, and wondering if I'd noticed an attempt was made (and failed)

That's so relatable. It's like when you make a really embarrassing spelling mistake in a text and you're not sure if the other person has seen it and is judging you for it. Should you bring it up? Can it go unnoticed if you don't? It's the cat calzone equivalent of that. I'm so glad we were able to clear the air.

starpoke

this is one of my favorite tumblr posts i'm so happy i found it again

emo-batboy

A Wild Battinson (Social Media AU)

MASTERLIST

Part 1 — Temporary Baby Acquisition

Part 2 — HE POUT ????

Part 3 — The Babygirl Agenda: Origins

Part 4 — Stuck in a Bookstore

Part 5 — Dior Bruce Wayne Supremacy

Part 6 — Please Sleep

Part 7 — GALA UNDER ATTACK

Part 8 — Stuck in an Elevator

Part 9 — Bruce Wayne is scared of bats?!

Part 10 — Lex Comes to Town

Part 11 — HIT THE DECK

Part 12 — Career Day in Gotham

Part 13 — Bruce Wayne is GAY????

Part 14 — The 30th Annual Wayne Business Convention

Part 15 — Monday: Puppies!!

Part 16 — Tuesday: Protecc Him

Part 17 — Wednesday: Crafts

Part 18 — Thursday: KIDNAPPED

Part 19 — Friday: The Seminar

Part 20 — Gotham's True Cryptid

Part 21 — Temporary Baby Acquisition II

Part 22 — Valentine's Day <3

Part 23 — "I'm used to it"

Part 24 — Weird Bruce Wayne Pics

Part 25 — Permanent Baby Acquisition

Part 26 — Richard "Dick" Grayson

Part 27 — Who's Batman?

Part 28 — A Baby!!!!

Part 29 — Magical Girl Bruce

Part 30 — A Kid on the Roof

Part 31 — Grounded

Part 32 — Bruce Wayne doesn't blink?!

Part 33 — Gotham Bingo Cards

Part 34 — A Secret Third Thing

Part 35 — Q&A with Bruce Wayne

Part 36 — Bat-Themed Bandaids

Part 37 — Bruce Wayne is MOTHER

Part 38 — Be Gay Do Crime

Part 39 — PLOT TWIST

Part 40 — No Bruce?

Part 41 — Permanent Baby Acquisition II

Part 42 — Bruce Wayne Should Punch Someone

Part 43 — Vigilante Discourse

Part 44 — A Wild Superguy?

Part 45 — LexCorp Goes on Strike

Part 46 — Gift Shop Shenanigans

Part 47 — Be My Valentine

Part 48 — BRUCE WAYNE PUNCHED SOMEONE

Part 49 — #BlockBruce

Part 50 — Bruce v. The Horrors

Part 51 — Monday: Lost in NY

Part 52 — Tuesday: The Tonight Show

Part 53 — Wednesday: amFAR GALA

Part 54 — Thursday: Ice Cream Kidnapping

Part 55 — Friday: SUPERBAT

Part 56 — Saturday: Night Live

Part 57 — Caleb Gets Fired

Outtakes: Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Updates Whenever I Feel Like :)

starpoke

it's just so peak,,,

#i'm new to the batman fandom #it's pretty neat here

missyfrs

EVERYTHING on Kinger's Screen in Episode 8:

BOMBSHELL AFTER BOMBSHELL

1: The circus members are brain scans, this folder might be the abstracted members. CA_NeuralScans (Obsolete)

2: 'Abel' did exist, and the circles at the beginning of the episode were most likely Caine killing 'Abel'.

3: The circus was created on October 30th, 1996. Kinger's password is Queenie, and this confirms again that Kinger was his username.

4: Ragatha entered the circus on October 15th 2008, Scratch entered the same day but in 1999, and Caine in 1996. Interestingly enough, he is written in LISP, which has links to AutoCAD the modeling software.

5: Not much to actually say here, Caine's internals are protected by both him and bubble.

6: Assuming the GreenGrounds is the circus, Kinger was likely trying to inject the torment program (what the circus members are being tortured with??) with a daemon (automated process) in order to stop it.

Note a censored name [G_AN_]. My guess is on Grant lmao

Since these pictures are covered by Caine and Bubble, I'll write what they probably say. "This IS a wacky word, but WRONG word!" "System selecting SAFEST option for reliability, cancel automatic selection? [Y/N]" "Yes" "Which backup do you want?" "C" "NONE Selected"

"Interpreted as: DELETE" "Confirm deletion of current unstable program (or AI)?" "No" "Negative response! inverting to (?) per (?) protocols!" "DELETE THIS MOTHER*****R, HAHAHAHAHAaaaaaaaaaaaa" "No" "Errored: Proceeding with ORIGINAL decision" "Actually you're CONFUSED let me HELP, should this program EXIST [Y/N]" "Yes" "Override instruction error falling back to default metric" (Kinger tries to yet again load a backup and stun Caine here) "Are you really going to delete Caine? [Y/N]" "YES" (This is where he accidentally hit delete)

scribs-in-gotham

New headcanon that the whole family carries on their own versions of the Brucie Wayne persona in order to keep up appearances, giving the whole family a reputation of a bunch of beautiful idiots. Everyone EXCEPT Damian. He understands the necessary evil of it, but he can't. He can't do it y'all it's beneath him.

So this child, who is known among the other children at his school to talk like he swallowed a dictionary and get into screaming matches with his history teachers, gets the title of The Wayne Family's Single Brain Cell. This is furthered by the fact that every time he's seen in public he has an exhausted expression on his face like

He becomes a localized meme. The Baby Wayne, fighting for his life every day against his family of well meaning morons.

inkydandy

What an unexpected trilogy. Also, I was going to put Bruce in something resembling Tim’s Robin suit, but Bruce in green undies. You just don’t pass that opportunity up.

First part | Second part

allthingswhumpyandangsty

remember that when it comes to fanfics, two cakes is always better then one. the more the merrier!

starpoke

me making the same exact fic 15 different times in a different format because i like the trope

i-will-write

Me at 3AM thinking about a new plot line for my multichapter fic I haven't still written a single word of:

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

lukewarm vampires

biggest-gaudiest-poltergeist

no listen to me vampires are only "cold" compared to living humans who have a pulse built-in heating unit. but it's not like they have built in refrigeration. the undead aren't actually "cold" per se at best they're room temperature. lukewarm vampires

starpoke

my legs get to be room temperature (poor circulation) and they somehow feel colder than anything around me. lukewarm (assuming it means room temperature/~70F/20C) is perceived as a different temperature across different substances