the proposal minigame stressed me the fuck out but at least it led to the single funniest thing i have ever seen in my life

oozey mess

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Keni

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@starryeyeddumbass
the proposal minigame stressed me the fuck out but at least it led to the single funniest thing i have ever seen in my life
I hate to say "some of you don't go outside," but fucking Christ, dude
Ouuhh I see the water it’s right there on the post,, I’m so thirsty ouyghhhhhw just one sip for me ooouuuuuu
Girl, what are you talking about? Are you feeling alright?
yeah u freaks up north look and sound exactly like this when u pretend that us southern queers are perfectly complicit in our own eradication - for the heinous crime of not living in a liberal population center.
I keep this image on hand for whenever I see similar sentiments.
I don’t have time to unpack my full thoughts on the whole argument of ‘you shouldn’t be a burden to the healthcare system’ but I would like to chime in on it:
so, all athletes should immediately stop playing sports. construction workers, anyone with jobs that put them at risk, they need to find different employment. people with uteruses shouldn’t ever get pregnant, either. actually you know what? don’t enter a car or vehicle at all! and don’t even get me started on old people. what age do we think they should just give it up & throw in the towel? 50? 60? after that they become way too burdensome. it’s a problem.
sweet baby eugenicist, your anger is misplaced. they want you to blame yourself on their crumbling system. you should be asking, what kind of a fucking healthcare system is it if it can be burdened by the very thing it exists to provide? which is healthcare?!
this is what i mean when i say "sniles so sneetly" btw
i appear to have infected 14k people with the phrase "sniling so sneetly". it makes me grin. snile, even. perhaps sneetly
since there is such an "english speakers who don't even try to pronounce a foreign mame correctly" epidemic, native english speakers often try to overcorrect and end up thinking they have a moral imperative to pronounce every foreign name correctly at all times. so i'm gonna hold your hand and look into your eyss as i say this: you can't. you can't pronounce every sound in a language you don't speak. and that's fine. it happens to the rest of us too. we won't be mad so long as you try your best.
“I did some research to pronounce this name correctly” = 👍 great! even if the pronunciation was still off (and learning to pronounce a foreign language correctly takes a lot of practice) people generally appreciate it when someone goes the extra mile for accuracy, and honestly, languages are cool
“I’m probably not saying that correctly”/“sorry for my pronunciation” = 👍 understandable! foreign languages often have sounds that aren’t used in English and learning to correctly pronounce unfamiliar phonemes is genuinely difficult even with help
“lol I’m not even gonna TRY to pronounce that 😂” = 👎 THIS is the problem, if treats languages other than English like they are inherently ‘weird’ or ‘overly complicated’ just because you aren’t familiar with them
“One thousand apologies for my butchering of this beautiful effervescent tongue, I will now flagellate myself as punishment for my crimes” = 👎 chill
You wish to a genie for a money tree and he grants your wish. The money tree gives you $1 every second.
In just 3-5 days, you can buy a house with cash. That's just a few days to buy something the average person spends decades paying for, and something many people will never be able to afford in this lifetime.
I make $40 per hour working typical full time hours as a programmer. I'm considered one of the well off ones. My salary for an entire year is still less than what your money tree gives you in a day.
Clearly, the money produced from your money tree is astronomically large.
But in order for your money tree to make you as rich as Elon Musk, it would take 30,000 years.
It's nowhere near possible for someone to earn that much money.
the existence of uncanny valley would suggest there is also a canny mountain
Canny Mountain, Charlie!
this baby tawny frogmouth is hungry hungry hungry! hes taking it all!
Big fan of seeing baby muppets in the wild
sex-repulsed people are fully within our rights to be cranky and blunt about not liking sex and how it's fucking everywhere btw. we shouldn't have to tiptoe around and make sure our phrasing is perfectly squeaky clean because people interpret any criticism of sex and sexualization as puritanism. venting about compulsory sexuality is not purity culture. maybe you could stand to learn a thing or two from us.
Man I’m a graphic designer why the fuck do I have to explore the Tomb
You get a Devils Hole Pupfish
Cyprinodon diabolis
Well Ok I like this
OKAY CAN SOMEBODY EXPLAIN TO ME HOW THE FUCK YOU SHIP A PACKAGE OF COOKIES TO A FRIEND WHO LIVES IN NEW JERSEY, ONLY TO HAVE IT NOT GET THERE ON TIME BECAUSE IT SOMEHOW ENDED UP IN GUAM?
I JUST
GUAM?
IM CRYING REAL TEARS MAH DUDES THE COOKIES ARE IN GUAM
KATIE TRIED TO SEND US COOKIES OUTTA THE GOODNESS OF HER HEART AND JUST
“OHHHH THESE COOKIES WERE SUPPOSED TO GO TO NEW JERSEY, PHIL? I THOUGHT YOU SAID
12/27, 8:37PM CT
ITS STILL IN FUCKING GUAM
12/28, 12:18PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE IN HONOLULU GUYS THEY ***FINALLY LEFT GUAM***
12/28, 10:22PM CT
THE COOKIES ARE FINALLY ON THEIR WAY TO NEW JERSEY
GO COOKIES GO
@phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper @homebeccer GET READY
lol i was looking through my history to find the tracking number page and
12/30, 12:39AM CT
@phantomrose96 @homebeccer @cupcakecreeper
holy fuCK HOLY FUCK HOLY FUCK GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS GUYS
THE COOKIES ARE ALMOST THERE
The saga of Katie’s Guam cookies is my Anime of the Season
THEY’VE ARRIIIIIIIIIIVVEEDDDDD THEY’RE ON THE FRONT DOORSTEP
COOKIES ACQUIRED
THE THRILLING CONCLUSION
also as a bonus visual here’s a rough approximation of these cookies’ journey
how the FUCK did this blow up and get so many notes
SO FOR SHITS AND GIGGLES, @homebeccer @phantomrose96 @cupcakecreeper AND I WANTED TO KNOW HOW MUCH IT WOULD ACTUALLY COST THE U.S. GOVERNMENT TO INTENTIONALLY SEND THESE COOKIES FROM TEXAS TO GUAM TO NEW JERSEY AND???????????????
AND
IT’S
IT’S
IT’S NOT AN OPTION IT’S NOT AN OPTION I CAN’T I-
I COULDN’T EVEN HAVE SENT THESE COOKIES TO GUAM EVEN IF I’D HAVE TRIED
Cant believe we uncovered the Guam Cookie glitch folks
Its not even an in-game feature
Oh my god it’s back
H O W
I’ve had this sort of thing happen.
At least it explained why the package took so long to get here.
I appreciate that they have an Entire Stamp for “Missent to Nepal”
No one said “hey let’s stop missending things to Nepal” they just said “let’s make a stamp for this” and called it a day.
I’m gonna get Missent to Guam tattooed on my arm in commemoration.
@hellsite-hall-of-fame
Get Moist von Lipwig in charge of the US postal service ASAP
Ok I know this is super old now but I work at a post office and I was curious about the price so I did some digging and I still don’t have a definite answer because THE REASON it says “no shipping services available” is because all shipping services were actually suspended to Guam at the time. As in no packages, parcels, letters, or mail or any kind could be sent to Guam. So not only is it mind boggling that it got sent so far in the wrong direction of its intended destination, but because nothing should have been able to get in to Guam period.
You QUITE LITERALLY could not have sent these cookies to Guam if you tried.
why are cool old houses still visual shorthand for evil rich people in modern-set media when most evil rich people nowadays live in neutral minimal hundred-million-dollar cubes with like. a single plant
and often advocate for the destruction of cool old houses, especially if it makes them money
put your evil rich villain in a house Elon Musk would design, is what I'm saying
fucking insane to be a person of colour in the uk right now
When my family first moved to the UK, we faced a similar risk to our wellbeing & safety as many are facing now, albeit for different reasons. in light of everything happening in Ireland & the tensions increasing in Glasgow, and the perennial England, here’s a list of actionable things to do for people who may be targeted & anti racist allies.
MY HOME IS ON THE LIST/LIKELY TO BE TARGETED, WHAT CAN I DO?
* it may bring you peace of mind to have a go-bag ready, just in case. A go-bag is a bag with everything in it that you need to get out a volatile situation quickly. Any bag that can be secured (buttoned or zipped) will do. In your go-bag, you should include;
- identifying documents; passport/driver’s license/asylum card/ILR certificate/British Residency permit card
- Wallet and/or banking books
- A spare charger & cable and/or a power bank
- any shelf-stable medication (tablets, inhalers etc.) if you are on medication that needs to be refrigerated, leave it in the fridge until you have to leave
- Sanitary items; toothbrush, toothpaste, sanitary pads & tampons, deodorant. If you have very young children with you, you may also want to take your nappy bag.
* If you have to leave, a go-bag is a convenient way to ensure you have everything of importance with you.
* If you are being supported by an asylum seekers or refugee charity, or are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help. If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too.
* IN THE EVENT THAT “PROTESTORS” DO COME TO YOUR HOUSE, CALL 999 IMMEDIATELY, AND FOLLOW ANY INSTRUCTIONS THEY GIVE YOU. MOVE AWAY FROM ANY WINDOWS. DO NOT OPEN YOUR DOOR UNLESS INSTRUCTED TO DO SO BY EMERGENCY SERVICES.
I’M AN INTERNATIONAL STUDENT/CARE WORKER/NHS WORKER, WHAT SHOULD I DO?
* Contact your student welfare office/NHS Trust/agency for advice, support and referral to organisations that may be able to provide assistance
* if you live in or commute through an area that is likely to be targeted, contact your lecturers and your faculty to find out whether remote study is possible; if you work in care or as part of the NHS, find out if it is possible to change shifts.
* If it would provide peace of mind, prepare a go-bag as listed above
* Reach out to your the uni society or student’s organisation for international students or students of specific ethnic origin; they may be able to provide you with direction to resources and peer support. If your university has a Marxist or Socialist society, reach out to them for mutual aid with a travel buddy etc., for getting to and from your place of study/work
* If you are a member of a gurdwara/temple, mosque, synagogue or church, reach out to your religious leaders. They may be able to provide direct support, or put you in contact with organisations or other congregants who can help.
* If you are friendly with your neighbours, it may be worth contacting them too for assistance with travel to & from work.
* Report any racism or racialised violence you are subjected to. NHS staff have a right to refuse to treat patients who harass, abuse, threaten or insult them; if a patient is racist to you, where possible, ask another member of staff to take over their care.
PERSONAL SAFETY:
* do not leave your home unless strictly necessary. If it is necessary to leave, don’t do it alone.
* use NextDoor, WhatsApp, social media and word of mouth to avoid commuting through “protestor” road blocks, areas of active conflict etc.,
* When travelling, use Share My Location or Life360, and keep at least two people aware of your expected time of arrival at your destination with instructions to contact the police if you do not let them know you’ve made it safely
* do not directly confront any individuals involved, or allow them to bait you into becoming confrontational
* only record if it is safe. Do not record individuals directly/from up close
* Do not directly intervene. If you see violence occurring, contact emergency services and if safe to do so, record what’s happening.
ALLYSHIP & HOW TO HELP:
* if you have neighbours, friends, coworkers or acquaintances form targeted communities, reach out to them. Ask them what you can do to help them feel safe.
* If you live in an area likely to be targeted, reach out to any vulnerable people you know. If safe and possible, offer to let them shelter with you in the event they need to leave home
* If you see any incitement to violence online screenshot it; it may prove useful in the event of individual “protesters” being prosecuted
* If you see any specific areas being discussed as targets, alert anyone you know at risk in the area
* Reach out to local refugee & asylum seekers’ organisations, to organisations supporting foreign national care & healthcare workers, and to churches, mosques, gurdwaras; they may be looking for short term assistance in helping to provide for vulnerable members of their community
CHARITABLE ORGANISATIONS FOR ASSISTANCE & TO SUPPORT:
* NASC Ireland; refugee & asylum seeker charity
* Doras.org; migrant, stateless persons, refugee and asylum seeker rights advocates
* Jesuit Refugee Service; religious refugee & asylum seekers charity
* Irish Refugee Council; supporting stateless displaced persons & refugees in NI & ROI
* International Student’s House (IE & UK WIDE): provides hardship funding and help to international students
* PathFinder (UK WIDE); supports international students
* Care International (GLOBAL); global carer’s charity
* Choose Love (IE & UK WIDE); charitable organisation supporting refugees and asylum seekers
* Praxis UK (UK WIDE); supporting refugees & asylum seekers
* The Runnymede Trust (IE & UK WIDE); antiracism education charity
* Migrant’s Rights Network (IE & UK WIDE); advocacy and support for migrants and refugees
* ShareTheMeal (GLOBAL); providing meals for refugees and those fleeing conflict globally
* Amnesty (IRELAND, UK & WORLDWIDE); human rights NGO
* UNHCR & UN Refugee Council (GLOBAL); UN refugee bodies supporting those seeking asylum, fleeing conflict & internally/internationally displaced worldwide
I know we’re all like lawless nonconformists but you really can’t be texting and driving. that’s one of the ones you’ve gotta listen to for real
Not even at stoplights!!! I know it’s so so tempting to just glance at your phone when you’re stopped, but there’s actually something called “distraction hangover” where even once you put your phone down, your brain is still processing the interaction and isn’t fully paying attention to the road for up to 30 seconds afterwards. So it’s still really dangerous even if you’re stopped when you look at your phone. If you need to check something on your phone, pull over.
this especially applies to people with adhd. you know that symptom you may have heard of called “difficulty transitioning between tasks”? you don’t want piloting a ton or two of potential death to be the task you can’t mentally switch back to.
Interesting! I hadn't heard of the "distraction hangover" before, turns out because it's pretty recent research!
big fan of using songs about romance in non romantic context. de-romanticizes your music. no more love