Reposting with our names on it š with @knottydevil and curiouskatxo
Bonding...

shark vs the universe
occasionally subtle
šŖ¼
I'd rather be in outer space šø

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d e v o n
trying on a metaphor

romaā
DEAR READER
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

ē„ę„ / Permanent Vacation
dirt enthusiast

⣠Chile in a Photography ā£
KIROKAZE
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Cosmic Funnies
TVSTRANGERTHINGS
No title available
YOU ARE THE REASON
Monterey Bay Aquarium

seen from Malaysia

seen from Malaysia
seen from Finland

seen from United States

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seen from United States
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@stash-in-da-cut
Reposting with our names on it š with @knottydevil and curiouskatxo
Bonding...
T-RWRk
I really want a science fiction story where aliens come to invade earth and effortlessly wipe out humanity, only to be fought off by the wildlife.
They were expecting military resistance. They werenāt counting on bears.
Imagine coming to a hostile alien world and being attacked by a horde of creatures that can weigh up to 3 tons, run at 30Ā km/h (19Ā mph), and bite with a force of 8,100 newtons (1,800Ā lbf).
By the time you realise that they can traverse water, itās too late. The surviving members of your unit manage to make it back by shedding their excess gear and running for their lives; the slower ones were crushed to death within minutes.
You later describe the creature to one of the humans you captured, wanting to know the name of the monstrosity that will haunt your nightmares for cycles to come.
The human smiles as it speaks a single word, slowly and distinctly, in its barbaric tongue.
āHippopotamus.ā
This is giving me the biggest, creepiest grin I might have ever grinnedĀ
Imagine being the next crew to go down to earth and thinking āitās fine, we got this. We have the weapons and equipment necessary to deal with bears and *shudders* hippopotamuses. Weāll be fine.ā
And at first you are, youāve learned how to dodge. Youāve learned where their territories are. You know how to defend yourself.
But then one night you are sleeping in your shelter. Youāre in a tree covered temperate part of earth. It seems benign. There are been no sightings of the dreaded āhipposā around. Not even any bears. But there is a slight rustle of the undergrowth. You try and ignore it telling yourself it is just the wind.
Then you hear the rustle again. closer this time.
You peer out into the darkness but see nothing amongst the trees.
The rustle again and now you realise you can smell something. Itās musky and slightly foul. Itās the smell of an omen, a warning. But what of? Where is this smell coming from.
You sit up, but itās too late. The foul smelling creature is on you. You are hit with 17kg of coarse fur and vicious bites. Long dark claws tear in to you and you are pinned down white the striped creature tries to bite your throat.
It takes some doing but you manage to wrestle free. Blood drips from your wounds and already they itch with the sign of infection. The creature has a bloodied snout, rust rad, mingling with the black and white hairs. It lets out a terrifying growl from the back of its throat and looks to attack again. Itās between you and your knife, so your only choice is to back away.
Eventually the creature gives up and snuffles off in to the undergrowth, down a hole near your shelter you hadnāt noticed before.
When you make it back to your base you once again consult the captive human.
āBadger.ā they say, with a solemn nod.
One word: Moose
āOur vehicles are far superior to the local human models, in range, speed, armament, and any other metric you care to name! Nothing could possibly-ā
BAMrumblerumblethumpcrash!!!
āThatās called a moose.ā
Wolverines.
Also.. dolphins.
The invasion is going slowly. The humans have caught on and are actively destroying information on the planetās flora and fauna before Intelligence can capture and process it. All that they have are survivorsā accounts. Bears. Hippos. Badgers. Moose. It is becoming obvious this mudball planet is a full-on Death World to the unprepared, and you are so very unprepared.
You lost Jaxurn to a plant. Not even a mobile or carnivorous plant, just one that caused a vicious allergic reaction on contact that killed him in less than a rai'kor. Commander Vura'ko died to an insect bite, a tiny local pest that sucked a tiny bit of her blood and apparently replaced it with a bit of its last meal, which was full of disease. Backwash. She died to bug backwash. And yet you honestly envy them after that⦠thing you encounteredā¦
When you got back to base the quarantine officer refused to let you inside. They had to roll a containment tank outside to put you in, because you all knew there would be no chance of eliminating the smell if it got into the shipās air ducts. Smell. You wonder if your nasal slit will ever recover from this stench.
And the smell would. Not. Leave. After incinerating your gear the Q.O. had you use every cleansing agent they could think of, including a few janitorial ones, and still everyone fled the stench if they were downwind of your tank. Desperate to protect everyoneās nasal slits from the smell the quarantine officer interrogated the humans. From them, a glimmer of hope: there was a cure. Somehow the juice of a certain fruit on this mudball was the only thing that could break up the chemicals in the little horrorās spray. Immediately the Q.O. sent a team to recover buckets of the stuff and made you bathe in it. That was hours ago and it didnāt seem to be working, though. All it was doing was turning your blue skin an interesting shade of purple.
Sighing in frustration you wave the med-assist on duty over, who only approaches after checking the wind direction. Annoyed, you flip on the tank`s vox speaker.
āThe humans did say it was āgrapeā juice that removed āskunkā stench, right?ā
Every night.Ā
It came for someone almost every night.Ā
Any soldier alone was a viable target for this native monster that moved unseen by any but the security viewers, usually only spotted in hindsight.Ā They were taken as silently as this earth-monster moved.Ā Sometimes theyād find the remains in the morning taken up a tree and hung there, mostly eaten, as if it were a grisly reminder that the monster was still there, waiting unseen, to strike again.Ā
What little they saw of the monster on the vidfeed showed true horror.Ā Yellow eyes that shone with all the light it could gather.Ā It had fangs as long as his grasping digits.Ā Claws half that size formed curved hooks that allowed it to climb up their fortifications with impunity.Ā And in the underbrush, its spots made it almost impossible to see clearly in the undergrowth, if it could be seen at all.
Even the native sentients, the humans, had a healthy respect and fear for it.Ā
The earth natives called the monster a leopard.Ā Ā
It was a constant fear that muddied the senses, and let the monster hunt even more effectively as the soldiers were always on edge.Ā Sleep deprived with fear, it made them even better targets for the monster.Ā
But rumor was that there was worse on this planet.Ā Rumors of a monster like a leopard but larger, and bigger in every imaginable sense. Stripped instead of spotted, which leaped from the underbrush with a sound.
A sound that burst eardrums, paralyzed entire units, and let the monster kill with impunity.Ā While the Leopard wrestled soldiers down and ripped their throats out.Ā This other monster, the Tiger, killed with its pounce alone.
āWeāve been through this,ā Group Leader 455 snapped.Ā āThe dissection of an Earth life form will help the scientists make weapons to combat the rest of this planetās hellbeasts.Ā And these are domesticated.Ā Harmless.ā
The troops were not-quite-looking at her in the way troops do when they donāt want to be seen to contradict a ranking officer, but canāt quite muster a correct Expression of Enthusiastic Assent.Ā āThe name of this species,ā she pointed out, āis synonymous with dullness and slowness in the language of the Earth barbarians.āĀ Well, one language out of several thousandāthese creatures needed Imperial guidance more than any other world on recordābut there was no point in confusing the rank and file.
More not-quite-looking.Ā 455 bubbled a sigh and consulted her scanner.Ā āThat one,ā she decided.Ā āAlone in the separate pasture.Ā Scans suggest that itās a male, which means itās probably weaker.Ā Possibly itās kept isolated so that the females donāt eat it before mating season.Ā And yes, I know some of you are here on punishment detail, but youāre still soldiers of the Imperium.Ā This squad is perfectly capable of handling a lone, helpless, pathetic male cow.ā
Iām enjoying this immensely. Wait until the aliens try Australia for sizeā¦
It was a strange creature Tar'van glimpsed at on the vast island known to the humans as āAustraliaā.
āI would warn you not to fuck with us, mate.ā Their forced guide, a prisioner, had warned with a chilling grin upon capture. āIf you think a moose is bad, wait until you tango with a red back.ā To this day Tar'van fears the creature known as the red back, and what horrors it would bring.
The prisioner turned out to be of little help,the stubboness of his people causing them to refuse the danger that the captured human warned of. Tar'van recalls a moment when one of his squad members approached a creature know as a dingo, insistent they had seen these creatures before and they were tame. They barely escaped with 5 of the original 7 members of his squad.
Another moment Tar'van recalls was the brutal mauling they witnessed by the hands of a creature called an āEmuā
āDonāt feel too bad,ā the prisioner mocked. āWe lost a war to the Emuās as well.ā
Now with only 4 members of their squad left, including themself, Tar'van had learned to listen to the prisoner, to be wary of the simplest of creatures. This human was of the sub-species of āZookeeperā after all.
The āZookeeperā looks off to the distance, where the creature is.
āItās a kangaroo, leave it be and youāll be fine.ā Tar'van nods, a human signal of acknowledgement if they are correct. The human smiles a bit.
āThat creature cannot possibly harm us.ā Tar'vanās squadleader protests. āIt is so docile. I will aproach it and bring back itās head to show this human is a fearmongering liar.ā
The human reels back, a look of disgust crosses their face and anger passes through their eyes.
āFucking do it mate, I dare ya.ā The human hisses. The squad leader puffs up their hoinn gland, a sign of pride to their species, and aproached the so called āKangarooā.
āThis will be unpleasant.ā A squadmate mutters as they watch their leader raise their fist and bring it down on the creature. The āKangarooā looks a little stunned by the impact, before it raises itself upon its strong tail and uses its powerful heind legs to launch their squadleader backwards through the air.
Their squadleader lands upon the ground, unmoving with black blooded oozeing from them. It appears Tar'van is the squads leader now.
āI donāt know what they expected.ā the human says, smugness filling their tone. āKangaroos are fucking shreaded. 8-pack and all.ā
Tar'van steps forward to the human, whom inches back in a sign of fear as Tar'van pulls their blade from its holster, and in their first act as leader, frees the human of the bonds around their hands.
āPlease,ā Tar'van bags. āGet us back safely.ā
@kryallaorchid, you guys really lost a war to emus?Ā Why was it necessary?
oh, mate, you never mess with the emus.
(Jesus christ. Dont get us started on kangaroos)
They had faced Emuās. They had lost one in the battle but had experienced them. But this was no emu.
Looking to their guide, they all stare in horror as his face changes from calculating to fear. Pure, heart consuming horror as he stares at the large bird. āCassowaryā¦ā They mimic him in fear. Squawking the horrific name as another joins the first in the mad run towards them.
The only ones to survive was the native guide and Tar'van. The guide was carrying the soldier over his shoulder as they made their way back to the settlement. Tar'van was a wreck. Periodically alternating between rocking in complete silence and whispering broken words in horror. When they consulted the native all he said was āIts springā¦. Magpie seasonā¦ā
āListen up, troops. This armour upgrade has been tested both in the laboratories of the best Imperial military scientists and in the field. We are impervious to the stings of any insect on this hellhole of a planet, striped or not! We can brave the perils of its wildlife, and conquer it at long last! Revenge for our fallen companions! Glory to the Emperor!ā
āExcuse me,ā the native Terran guide speaks up in a tired tone, and the squadās cheers die on their lips. āThis is Japan. You havenāt seen whatāā
āSilence, worm! No sting can penetrate this plating!ā
The guide tries to warn them once again, merely earning a blow that throws them to their knees. The troops set out, morale high, certain in their ability to brave the wildlife now and thirsting for vengeance against the non-sentient native species. One soldier thumps his fist against a tree. A hollow sound follows.
In an instant, the soldier is the centre of a storm of the striped insects. At first, no one pays it any mind. Their little stings cannot penetrate the new plating, after all.
But then the soldier falls to his knees, and the squad stares in horror as the insects enclose him in layer upon layer of their own bodies, all moving. The squadās medic yells a warning at everyone to stay back, watching the readouts of the unfortunate soldierās armour on their diagnostic screen with undisguised horror. The insects arenāt even stinging. They simply keep moving, one atop the other, and the soldierās body temperature is slowly rising until he drops to the ground, quite literally cooked alive. The insect swarm takes off, unharmed save for the ones that were crushed when the trooper fell.
Finally asked about what happened, the human sighs. āJapanese honeybees. They do this to wasps, too.ā
āHow?ā You ask.Ā āHow has your species dominated this planet?āĀ
The human bares its teeth. A smile, they call it. Something humans do when they are happy. Yet you canāt help but think of all the creatures with the their large fangs and sharp teeth.Ā (What kind of species uses a threat signal as a sign of happiness?)
āPersistence and ingenuity.ā The human answers, still smiling.Ā
It doesnāt matter that this one is your prisoner. Humans, you decide, are as terrifying as their planet. Ā
āAnd scattered about it ⦠were the Martiansādead!āslain by the putrefactive and disease bacteria against which their systems were unprepared; slain as the red weed was being slain; slain, after all manās devices had failed, by the humblest things that God, in his wisdom, had put upon this earth.āĀ
ā HG Wells, The War of the Worlds,1898
Iām picturing aliens going up against a hoard of Canadian geese, or a swan.
I think at that point theyād just give up.
Or fire ants
No one even MENTIONED snakes yetā¦
This thing gets better EVERY FUCKING TIME I SEE IT.
āLet us try the creatures that the humans keep for domestic companionshipā
āIs that a miniature tiger?ā
āWhy does this human own a small pack of wolves?ā
The aliens ask their human captive why small wolves live with them.Ā
āOh, you mean dogs? Yeah, theyāre the only animals that can keep up with us.ā
The aliens look at each other in fear.Ā āWhat do you mean?ā
āOh well thatās why you guysĀ āwonā is because humans arenāt super fast or strong. I think my middle school biology teacher called us pursuit predators? It means we evolved to hunt things by following them at walking pace until they had to stop to sleep and then catching up to them then. Dogs are the only animals that can keep up with us. Did you know one time a pack of wolves tailed a herd of caribou for three days straight?ā
āUh⦠okay, what about these small round things with big teeth?ā
āOmg dude no if you give a hamster enought time that little fucker can chew through concrete :)ā
The aliens wonder if the surrender of humanity was a trap.
Somebody do sharks or sea creatures next. Giant squids would wreak havoc on their ships.
The aliens have sophisticated technology which pretty much allows them to live underwater, which is something even the inventive humans have never managed. Submarines have nothing on alien submersion pods, which can withstand the crushing pressures of even the darkest depths of the oceans and seas.Ā
The aliens arenāt expecting any difficulties with their underwater expeditions. Of course, thatās when four of the life signs on the central screen simply vanish, like theyād never been there.Ā
Alpha turns on the direct communication lines to the remaining submersion pods, and the only thing they hear through the tinny speakers is screaming.Ā
Alpha resists the urge to turn and stare at the shackled human standing behind them, but Beta, Gamma and Theta have no such compunctions.Ā
The human shrugs.Ā āI mean, weāve never really been down there so weāre not entire sure, but weāve heard stories of giant squids and stuff. No smoke without fire, and all that.āĀ
āThere can be neither smoke nor fire underwater, human, cease your prattling.āĀ
The human snorts.Ā āItās a phrase. A metaphor? Man, I donāt know, I studied marine biology, not literature.āĀ
The human is unable to tell them anything useful about what might have happened to the submersion pods, but retrieved footage later shows tentacled behemoths snaking out of the depths of disturbed silt and cold water, and crushing the submersion pods effortlessly, in full view of the outer-hull cameras. The monsters have giant beaks which rip through the organic alloy sheets, and into the bodies of the pod pilots within.Ā
The outer-hull cameras register the blue of fresh spilled blood and gore, at the same time the on-board cameras register screaming and the red glow of critical power failure.Ā
The last thing the aliens can see on the retrieved footage is thin, long, snakelike creatures appearing out of the darkness and gloom, creating their own light and descending upon the remains of their brethren. They are accompanied by creatures that look like plastic bags, but which feed upon the toxic remains of the organic alloy of which the pods were made.
The human appears completely nonchalant - there is no love lost between slave and master.Ā āWait till you see sharks.āĀ
Iāve seen this post go around a few times, but this time I have some thoughts: 1) This is more or less the plot of Animorphs.
2) Earth has Poison Dart Frogs, weāre clearly a Death World.
3) Iām now imagining them deciding to set up a base on the poles, because life on this planet is clearly dependant on plants. So, that frozen wasteland should be safe of any dangerous megafauna. Cue Polar Bear out of nowhere.
GIANT SQUID.Ā
OH GOD. This is brilliant.
@words-writ-in-starlight ik youāve reblogged various versions of this but this one has so many moreā¦
MY FUCKING FAVORITE THING OKAY
Of course the aliens are not dumb. So eventually they put their head of operations in some urban area somewhere in western europe, because the humans have long ago killed all the dangerous beasts who used to live there, like bears and wolfs. But then an entire team gets murdered by a grey monstrosity the humans call āelephantā and then one of the dreaded tigers shows up and rippes the head off the consuls body. The vice consul (now new consul, apparently) runs to the human prisoneres in a rage. āYou said those monsters do not live here.ā āI donāt know manā, one of the humans sais. āThey arenāt supposed to be here. Maybe they broke out of the zoo.ā And to his horror, the new consul finds out that the humans have brought animals all over the world for fun, and apparently a tiger can sneak up on you anywhere on this god forsaken planet.
If you think about what is needed for a civilization, one could argue that violent tendencies would have to be greatly surpressed, almost to the point it wasnāt a core component of the biology if that civilization. What if aliens have visited, silently and fearfully observing us, stealing test subjects in the dark of night, watching our technology advance at a terrifying rate, slowly, yet steadily, clawing our way up and out of our gravity well. The whole way, one mistake and 45 minutes away from destroying ourselves.
Because violence beyond steps taken for immediate self defense is simply unthinkable for them, wiping us out in our infancy is something only we can contemplate, and thus, including this story, is a dark reflection of the evil we may unleash on a peaceful and completely unprepared for aggression of any kind, Galaxy. This is a galaxy that hasnāt seen war in eons, murder is almost always caused by negligence and inaction than through a overt act. A galaxy that treats signs of short temperment and outbursts of anger as sever mental illness.
The consensus among them is that we will do to ourselves what countless other violent and aggressive civilizations have done; simply wipe ourselves out in a mega orgy of death and destruction that will leave our planet, at worse our solar system, completely uninhabitable for thousands of our years. Our intelligence, adatability, diversity, and independence of thought evidence even in the strictest of our various social and governmental structures would be worrying if not so clearly obvious we would destroy ourselves. The violent āhumansā as they call themselves, are simply incapable of the united single mindedness needed to successfully leave their gravity well beyond the small sensors launched nearly blind into the void, and the communication platforms and science platforms kept in low orbit about their homeworld. A homeworld they poison at a rate even they find alarming, if unable to stop even that in global unity.
Besides, if they donāt do it to themselves, they are mathematically overdue for a global life killing event.. a relatively small meteor, a sudden eruption on thier equally tectonically violent planet, hell, the stupid creatures still canāt stop something as simple as a flu virus, although, to be fair, even the bacteria and viruses mutate at alarming rates. The planet evolved to kill, eat, destroy and multiple, right down to the single cell organisms..
No way the creatures will beat all the odds and manage to gain the technology to give themselves a foothold elsewhere, allowing them to survive when, not if, disaster struck. And before that clock ran out, they were going to commit sucide by violent tendencies anyway. This is what they smuggle told each other, before fitfully returning to watch again, worried as they see cooperation and innovation keeping a half step ahead of their destruction. Silently dreading the unspeakableā¦
What happens if humanity lasts long enough to get off their rock, the majority of their violent tendencies leashed and guided into massive technology leaps? Worse, what if the leaps let them see what they have long suspected? See that, indeed, they are not alone. What would happen if these violent barbarianās make this discovery, and instead of cowering in fear, or humbly submitting themselves to the wisdom of civilizations that have prospered and grown over eons through peace and cooperation, see instead what their ancestors saw whengazjng upon the wolly mammoth? A thing large, and strong, and even fearsom, but slow to adapt, slower of whit, and with just a minimum of cooperation, a walking larder of riches on the hoodā¦.
Humanities art is even violent, filled with stories of terrors from the skies. But the dark truth isā¦ā¦what if humanity is that terror, far scarier then the darkest and most grim of their stories and movies?
The watch continues silently, the Galaxy waiting to see what, if anything, this fledgling, violent, brutal and self destructive race becomes if it manages to leave itās nestā¦ā¦
"If we can decipher the secrets of their evolution, we may yet conquer and subjugate this planet of black nightmare. We shall travel to the continent called Africa, and their cradle of civilization."
The "Zookeeper" face goes slack-jaw, mouth hanging open, appearing dazed as if physically struck.
He slowly raises his face to the sky, and his shoulders began violently shaking, and he began to emit howls at the top of his lungs. "Hahahaha" rings off the walls, as he wraps his arms around his mid-section, gasping for breath in between his shrieks. Tears stream down his face, and Tar'van realizes he is not dying.
It's at this moment, he realizes he has never TRULY, experienced the feeling of Terror so deep, he could barely maintain consciousness. If this human is shrieking in terror and collapsing to the floor at the mere mention of "Africa"... And it's the literally birthplace of the ENTIRE SPECIES?!?
Tar'van, the terror making it impossible for him to raise his voice beyond a mere whisper, "What is in Africa that makes you behave so, human?"
The Zookeeper, wiping tears from his eyes, gasps explosively wrenching from his mouth as he manages to stand, says "Oh lil Dorothy, you wanna head off to the majestic plains to parley with the king to gain the knowledge you seek? You think there are only monsters to fear in the dark? In the deepest of darkness, there are GHOSTS. It's been a VERY long time since the Ghosts in the Darkness openly hunted us. Learned to be wary of our scent."
"You mean learned to fear your scent, human?"
"The king fears nothing. A smart warrior learns to exercise caution and cunning against a dangerous foe."
"Then this 'ghost' will quickly fear us!"
"Galaxy must be softer than a new born baby's..."
The Zookeeper sighs, and starts again "Boy, y'all haven't realized by now you're about as dangerous as a newborn kitten with a ball of yarn in a box lined with a soft blanket?
Stay away from the packs of simians. If your skin begins to fall off, just do everyone a favor and kill yourself. Hell, maybe you will get lucky and your smell will keep them away.
If the Ghosts come out of the darkness, I'd advise you to remain as still as possible, and pray to whatever Gods you have. Do so silently, and without breathing.
And prey there isn't a pack of laughing death following in its wake, looking to play clean up."
Tar'van suddenly realized the stench suddenly in his slit, was of his own making. Apparently, without violation or awareness, he had released all his bodily wastes, at once. He felt no shame. Only a great sadness at realizing he must be sane still.
It was appropriate to suddenly shit oneself when feeling this terrified.
"Id clean up before heading out, if I was you. In your current state, that smell would almost FORCE em to come out of the darkness."
Drip check how do I look
Reblog if you think am gorgeous š
@ monica_atong
Reblog if šyou wanna eat myš tonight šš¦
Reblog and hmu
7ā
Y'all wouldn't believe me if I told ya anyway.
Reblog if you wanna get spun and connect with other tweakers
We need a tumblr meet up
been tryin to make this happen
Yes !
Yes Plz
Reblog and youāll find money soon!
Yes.
Also weird I reblobbed the other money one last night and a freelance check I invoiced for a month ago came in.
reblobbed
seriously have nothing to lose
Did it once might as well let it stack. At least Iām not buying loto tickets
You guys, I reblogged this 2 days ago out of desperation. Today I was looking through my old wallet for coins to go to the vending machine because thatās all I can fucking afford. I havenāt touched this thing since July/ August. When I found a disappointing 15 cents in the coin pocket I went to the billfold to see if any coins were in there. Thatās when I saw them. 5 crisp bills amounting to $22. I literally screamedĀ and danced around my room out of joy before remembering that Iād reblogged this post.
Tl;dr - This post is fucking magical and actually worked for me.
Iām broke as fuck. Money gods pls send me like 100k.
I never reblog these, letās give it a shot. BIG MONEY, BIG MONEY
I reblogged this last week and withing an hour I got a client after a month of silence! Literally gave me money to eat for the rest of the month.
Crazy enough but my mom randomly gave me 200 dollars after I reblogged one of these the other dayā¦
Reblobbed.
I have a theory that these posts actually gather energy from the wishes of people who reblog them and thatās why they work. Plus, yanno, they get passed around by witchesā¦a lot. :)
Financials are getting a little rocky here (new job was a pay cut and was supposed to be an hours increase but ended up being more of a cut/lateral move) and Iām still trying to figure out how to downgrade my spending (seriously how can I cancel some of my cable services and end up paying MORE than before fucking packages fucking Verizonā¦) so in the meantime I could really go for a cash infusion until I get myself sorted.
Ok this is such a ridiculous coincidence but I JUST reblogged this this morning and between then and now my tax refund hit my account 3 days early. Draw your own conclusions.
Still need crafting gear and materials.