A what if! Crack AU! where Goose and Maverick are country swing dancers, and instead of serenading Charlie, Maverick accidentally seduces his class by dancing that night at the O-Club
Head-canons and plot ideas for the country AU!
Part 1: Country Boy, Shake it for me
Part 2: All my Exes Live in Texas (Not really)
Part 3: America's Next Top (Country) Swinger
Part 4: Owww, My Feelingssss
𓆉 General Top Gun Head-canons & Fic Ideas
The Royal (Naval) Wedding
The Royal Daggers
𓆉 TG and TGM Shitposts
POV: The Admiral will see you now
Mav + Cain = Besties <3
Horse Girl Meets Horse Boy
Have you seen my gay son?
Picture Perfect Mavdad Wallet
Despite his shorter legs, Maverick was the first back to the unit housing. As he passed the door of the common room he heard his fellow aviators call his name. He WAS NOT in the mood to deal with any of them and went straight for his room.
Two minutes later, Iceman strolled into the common room and everyone greeted the new arrival. "What did Viper want with you two?" Hollywood inquired. Iceman huffed, "Apparently just to waste my time with a chat. He didn't do anything to Maverick for his stunts out there! He's going to get someone killed, mostly likely himself and maybe Goose."
"Easy Tom," Goose said, "What are you talking about?"
Iceman was frustrated at needing to recount this again; couldn't they see it during the exercise. He started his rant again, "First of all, he took off at a trajectory steeper than necessary. Second..."
Slider cut him off, "Iceman, you know I think Maverick is a crazy little shit, but that angle is the same we use from a carrier. You know it is safe, I know it is safe, Maverick knows it is safe."
The Iceman mask was firmly in place, but his eyes got colder. Slider recognized that look and hurried to usher his pilot to their shared room for a more private conversation. Once they were in the room, Slider closed the door, "Tom, what's going on?"
Using his first name seemed to startle Iceman out of his own head. "I don't really know, Ron. I know that procedurally the takeoff was fine, and we didn't really come close to a mid-air collision, but I was scared, Ron."
Slider paused, surprised but he recovered quickly. "Ok Tom, I'm going to ask you a question. Before I do, remember that nobody can hear us and I'm your best friend. Got it?'
Iceman narrows his eyes at his RIO. "Ok," he drew out slowly, trying to distract Ron from asking questions he was sure he didn't want to answer.
Ron stepped back out of the reach of Iceman. "Which part scared you, the one where you were not at the controls or the one where Maverick was in close proximity to you and had control?"
Iceman considered the question for several minutes. "I don't know Ron, probably a little of each?" Slider chuckled, "Don't ask me, tell me which it is."
Iceman released a shaky breath, "Honestly, I don't know, Sli. There is something about him-" Slider chuckled lowly, "Are you ready to talk about the thing you have for Mitchell yet?"
"No!" Iceman quickly replied. "I'm not ready to think about it, let alone talk about it. Let's be honest, even if I did think and talk about it, that's all it would be. I can't DO anything about it, and I'm nearly certain that he doesn't need to think or talk about it."
Slider nodded, "Ok, Tom. I'll let it ride for now, but if you can't keep Iceman in check and help us win that trophy, we WILL think about it and talk about it. If you aren't pursuing it, then we are NOT taking second place."
"I hear you, Slider. No distractions." Slider sighed, "No Tom, you didn't hear me. I said if you weren't thinking, talking, and doing anything about it, THEN no distractions for winning. Do you hear me?"
"Ok, Slider. If anything changes, I'll let you know. When did you decide to meddle so much in my life?" Iceman asked with a quirked eyebrow.
"First of all, Tom, you're my best friend. Second, you have my life in your hands every day; it is in my best interest to ensure you are in the right headspace. Lastly, Goose and I clocked you two on the first day. We have a bet on which of you two idiots gets your head out of your ass first. " Slider turned on his heel to the door. "Let's go play some pool," he said, leaving a speechless Iceman slack-jawed in the middle of the room.
"You go ahead, Slider," Iceman said, "I'm going to stay here for a little while."
Maverick was nearly vibrating. He slammed the door of his quarters and paced a circle around the room. He ran his hands through his hair, muttering, "I'd NEVER put anyone's life in danger on purpose. How could he think that? How could anyone? Yes, I like the thrill; I want to push the limits but NEVER hurt anyone. We need to fly better, faster, and more creatively to ensure we stay ahead of the enemy; I thought Iceman, of all people, would understand that. "
Unbeknownst to the pilot, Goose had slipped in the room mid-monologue. He closed the door softly and set the beers on the nearest surface. He took a beat listening to his friend before intervening. "Hey Buddy, want to tell me what's going on?"
When Maverick stopped and looked up, Goose saw the bruises on his neck. Rage filled the usually laid-back RIO and his voice was a growl, "Pete, who did that to you?"
Maverick had all but forgotten about the physical injury, the hurt to his pride and feelings running much deeper. He reached a hand up to his throat. "Oh, that was Iceman, he wasn't happy with the hop. He-"
Goose heard nothing else. He turned on his heel and nearly ripped the door off the hinges as he threw it open. He stormed down the hall toward Iceman and Slider's room. As he turned the corner, he ran directly into Slider. "Hey, Mother Goose, what's the hurry?"
Goose didn't acknowledge the man. He was of a single purpose, and it didn't involve Slider. Slider stepped in front of the man again and snapped him out of his rage, "Goose, what's going on? Who are you off to murder?" Goose snapped his eyes to Slider and leaned in, "Iceman and you if you knew and didn't stop him!"
Slider was on his heels, figuratively and literally. "What are you talking about, Nick? What did Tom do?" Goose huffed and looked the other RIO in the face. "He tried to strangle Maverick. Are you telling me you didn't know? You didn't play lookout?"
A genuine look of confusion crossed Slider's face. "What are you talking about?" Before Goose could answer Maverick walked up, "Goose there you are, what the hell are you doing?"
Slider's eyes bulged as he saw the bruises on Maverick's throat. "Tom did that?" He barely squeaked out. Goose started to speak, but Maverick spoke first. "I'm pretty sure Tom was nowhere to be found; this was all Iceman. And they say I live up to my callsign," He added quietly.
Slider took a step closer to Maverick and looked more closely at his throat. "Are you OK, Maverick?" Maverick automatically answered, "Yeah."
Slider took another small step forward waiting until green eyes met his own brown ones. "Mav, really, are you ok?" It was Maverick's turn to be shocked as he saw genuine caring in the brown eyes of the rival RIO. He sighed, "Yes Slider, I'm really ok. White hot temper your pilot has to be so ice cold." Slider chuckled darkly, "That he does. Any idea why he turned it on you?"
Maverick shrugged, "He didn't like how I flew when he was in the backseat. He had a list, but mostly he said I was going to get someone killed." Slider paused, "This was after the hop? He started it? You didn't say anything stupid to trigger it?"
Maverick shook his head, "No time to say anything; as soon as we were alone in the hall, he slammed me into the wall with an arm on my throat."
Maverick was left standing there for the second time as a RIO stormed off in a rage. As Slider stomped past Goose, the latter fell in step. Slider paused, "Goose, let me handle this one, will you? But if I can't get through to him, I'll let you know, and he will be all yours. Can you do that for me?"
Goose huffed and growled in Slider's face, "You have ONE shot. Don't make me clean up; none of us will like it." Slider nodded slowly. "Come find me after; we need to talk." Slider inhaled sharply, "Yes, we do. I'll find you later."
Slider stormed back to his quarters as Goose shepherded a confused Maverick back to theirs. Maverick sat down on a chair at their table. He looked up at Goose, "Why do I feel like you know more than I do about what happened when I was the only one there?"
"You know we were at the Academy together. We were friends, not close, but friends. We all know stuff about each other and our lives before and during the Academy, but it isn't my story. Sorry, buddy. Are you sure you are ok? Those bruises are getting dark. Let's put some ice on them." Goose walked to the refrigerator to get some ice and wrapped it in a towel. "Here, put this on your throat."
"Thanks, Goose." Maverick took the ice-filled towel and gently held it to the bruised area. Maverick was quiet for a minute, "It was like he wasn't even there, Goose. His arm was pressing into my throat and he was yelling, but his eyes were emotionless, almost dead. Is he ok, Goose?"
From his position, leaning against the counter, Goose choked on air. He started to ask an incredulous "is HE ok" but saw the sincerity in Pete's eyes. "He will be Pete. Like I said, it isn't my story, but Ron is with him now," he cocked his head to the side, "as long he doesn't kill him, you'll both be ok."
Goose set a glass of water in front of Maverick and took a sip of his own. "Did anyone else see it happen?" Maverick nodded, "Viper broke it up. Sent Kazansky to the showers and asked me about it. He didn't like my answers, so he called us into his office. That's where I was. Where did you think I was?"
Goose answered the last question, "I thought you might be flirting with Charlie." Maverick spluttered, "I'm not really into her, you know." Goose smiled, "Oh, I know, but I know you. If she flirts, you'll flirt back." Maverick smiled and blushed lightly, "Flirting is fun, Goose. You should talk. You still flirt with Carole ALL THE TIME." Goose smiled, "I know. She loves it, though." As if it suddenly occurred to him, Goose stopped, "You got yelled at by Viper, AGAIN?!?! Pete-"
Pete held up a hand to stop him. "He didn't yell, Goose. He just asked what happened, listened to us, and then dismissed us."
"No discipline, no threats?" a perplexed Goose asked. Maverick shrugged, "No, he listened and dismissed us. He looked like he was thinking about other things, honestly." Goose furrowed his brow, "Hmm, interesting. As long as we aren't in trouble with Viper, we are okay. Tom, however, is going to need to apologize."
Maverick dropped the ice towel and jumped to his feet, "No, no, he doesn't. As long as we can fly well enough together, it's fine." Maverick looked hard at Goose, "You hear me, Goose? Leave it be."
Goose raised his hands in surrender, "Ok Mav, whatever you want. I'm always on your six, always." Goose made a mental note to revisit this reaction later, something wasn't quite adding up.
The doors in the quarters were having a tough day as Slider slammed open the door of his room. "TOM, what the hell were you thinking?" he bellowed.
Leaning against the wall, legs sprawled across the bed, Iceman was reading a book. He was still trying to calm down and return to himself after the afternoon events. Slider's entrance was sure to impede the process.
Sighing, Tom laid the book on the bed, "What are you talking about, Slider?"
Undeterred, Slider grabbed Iceman by the collar, "You could have crushed his airway! I know you don't love his flying style, but Jesus, Tom, you KNOW you weren't in any real danger this afternoon!"
Tom looked at Slider confused, "Again, what are you talking about Slider?"
Nonplussed, Slider huffed in the pilot's face, "Your altercation with Maverick! The one where you yelled in his face and left a fucking bruise on his throat. Did you lean in with your whole weight, Tom? What the hell?"
Realization crossed Tom's face, color draining from his cheeks. His breath comes quicker, and Slider releases his hold on Ice's collar. "Deep breath, Tom. Tell me what happened."
Iceman took a deep breath, a second one, and finally looked up a Slider. He nodded his head for the man to take a seat. "Is Pete ok, Ron? Did I hurt him?"
Slider shook his head, "He'll be ok, Tom, he's bruised pretty badly, but seems ok otherwise. Do you know what stopped you?"
"Viper," Ice hung his head. Slider's eye widened. "Viper saw it? Shit, Tom. We'll be thrown out for sure."
Tom shook his head. "He didn't yell at me in his office, just listened to Mitchell and me talk about the hops." Slider was stuck, "He didn't say anything about it?" Slider wondered if the other shoe would drop tomorrow.
Turning back to his friend, "Tom, what happened?" Tom looked up, "I'm not entirely sure, Sli; the first hop was fine. Maverick is no Slider in the back seat, but he did as well as you would expect from a pilot."
Tom took a deep breath as he considered what had happened. "I didn't like feeling out of control. It made me nervous." Slider mumbled, "No shit, Sherlock." Tom cut his eyes, "Sorry, Tom, go on."
"I knew Maverick was doing it right, but I started to feel my heart rate increase. When he flew so close to the other plane's wing, something snapped, and I knew he was trying to hurt me. I never want to let anyone hurt me again." Tom's shoulders sagged, "I felt like I was in danger again."
Slider exhaled deeply, understanding what had transpired in the plane. "Tom, Pete is a fearless pilot, he flaunts rules occasionally, but he would never willingly put one of us at risk. You HAVE to know that. Plus, you were in Goose's seat. That is some of the most sacred space you can occupy in Pete Mitchell's life."
Iceman looked up, "I didn't even think about that, Ron. I was so irritated that Viper had paired me up with him instead of Hollywood." Slider chuckled, "I'm pretty sure that's why he did it. Well, that and, of course, you would pair the two best."
Iceman offered a small smile. Ron cut him off, "Nope, no gloating right now. We are TALKING." Ice dropped the smile, "How did you feel when he was in my seat?" Tom pondered the question. "I wanted to keep him safe, work with him like we do..."
Slider was losing patience, "and..." he prompted. Iceman was not inclined to give the final answer. "Tom," Slider started more firmly. Iceman scrubbed his hand through his hair and down his face. "I was distracted." The pieces started to fall together for Slider.
"You flew first and were distracted by Mitchell's presence in the cockpit with you. Then when you were in the back of his plane, without control of the situation and still distracted, you felt like you were in danger. That's when the memories surfaced. Am I close?"
Iceman's cheeks flushed. "That's a fairly accurate picture. Why are you saying distracted like that Ron?"
Slider guffawed, "You HAVE to be kidding. You're distracted by him because you want to rip his clothes off him and have your way."
"SLIDER!" Ron laid his hand on Tom's arm. "Relax, Tom, nobody can hear me in here, and you need to talk about it to figure out what to do."
Iceman thought back to the morning when he pushed thoughts of those green eyes down. "Ok, fine. I may have been distracted before we left the room this morning. But I don't know why that triggered my response, and I don't know why I almost hurt him."
"Of course you do," Slider said with an eye roll. "You know those feelings are dangerous in the Navy, and it triggered all the bullshit from your childhood. If I had to guess, you didn't even know it was Maverick you had backed against the wall. You saw him instead."
Tom shook his head in disbelief, "How do you do that, Ron? How do you know things like that and say it simply like it is no big deal? It could destroy both our careers."
Ron smiled kindly, "Tom, we've been best friends since the Academy. I'm the only person in the whole damn United States Navy who knows about your whole life, and it isn't a big deal. We all have bullshit; yours is worse than I had." He shrugs and continues, "You tolerate everything that is Ron Kerner, and you love me better than my own brothers. It is simple, and it is no big deal. I'll never let it hurt either of our careers. Besides, as long as they let Mitchell continue to fly, they can't take your career." He grins, and Ice lets out a soft chuckle. "At least your job isn't as tough as Goose's," he bumps Slider's shoulder.
As he looked over his friend, Ron noticed that Tom looked exhausted. "You need to find a way to apologize to Maverick. You don't have to give any details, but you need to apologize. The bruise is bad, Tom. We already know some of his bullshit, don't pile on."
Tom nodded in agreement, "You're right, I know. I'll say something tomorrow."
Ron wandered over and grabbed two beers from the refrigerator. He handed one to his friend, "We need to talk about your distraction too, but it will keep. For now." Tom took a long drink of his beer. "I just need to not be distracted. I can do it, I'm sure.
Ron didn't answer, he offered a small nod but let it go. For now.
Just after 19:00, the doorbell rang out at the Metcalf house. Viper's wife was busy setting the table, so Mike answered the door. "Good evening, Heatherly's; glad you could make it; please come in."
Mike stepped back from the door and ushered Jester and his wife into the house. Viper's wife joins the trio as they exchange warm greetings. "I'm so glad you could make it. Can I get anyone a drink?"
Jester looked to Viper, "Beer or do we need something stronger?" Viper smiled back, "This is a strategy session, we'd better stick to beer for now."
Jester's wife laughed, "Oh my, Rick, you just said advice; I didn't know it had progressed to a strategy." Viper looked at her, "Listen, if they were as easy as Hollywood and Wolfman, I'd be done. BUT these two are complicated and while I have a great intuition, I'm not as romantic as the two of you," he wagged his index finger between Jester and his wife. "No you are not, Mike." laughed Viper's wife in response. "Are you absolutely sure about Maverick and Iceman?"
Jester looks around the table, "Should we just be using their first names, less identifiable than callsigns." Viper chuckled, "You think someone is going to hear us around my dining room table, Rick?" Jester laughed, "I suppose not, I'm just used to being careful about these matters." The group nods. They all know the rules, they all know the dangers to the careers of the two Commanders in addition to the pilots. At the outset of the evening, they had all agreed it to be worth the risk. Both marriages withstanding the test of time, they fully believed everyone deserved a partner in life.
Jester's wife looked at Viper, "How are Hollywood and Wolfman doing?" Jester answered first, "They seem to have settled in very well. I've been impressed with their discretion; they just might make it for the long haul."
Viper agreed. "Hmmm, they just might. I think Maverick and Iceman have the makings of an epic relationship. Can't you imagine them both admirals who sip some wine on their deck at the end of the day?"
Jester snorted, "Maverick an admiral? Mike, are you feeling alright? Maverick will be lucky if the Navy doesn't toss him out as soon as possible."
Viper's wife interrupted, "Stop right there, we aren't here to discuss Navy business this evening. We are here to help two people find companionship and maybe even love. If that helps the Navy, so be it, but this isn't for the Navy, this is for those two men."
Everyone agreed. Jester's wife asked, "What do we know about their interactions?" Everyone at the table had heard the stories, but recapping them in order painted a clear picture. Viper's wife was stuck at one story, "Shark bite in the air?" she laughed, "Gracious Mike, they are worse at this than you were." Everyone laughed at that. Mike looked over, "I was bad at it, but I got you and that's all I've ever wanted."
"Back to this afternoon in your office," Jester refocuses the conversation. "You said Maverick leaned into Iceman?"
Viper nodded, "He moved his arm and leaned just slightly, I don't know if he knew he was doing it, but he would have leaned all the way in if Kazansky hadn't moved. For his part, Kazansky looked at his shoulder like it was on fire."
The ladies exchanged a look, "Do you think their RIOs know?" ventured Jester's wife. Jester and Viper both chuckled. "Usually not necessarily, but with Goose and Slider, absolutely. I'd be surprised if the pair haven't discussed it themselves."
"Well that's the next step then, isn't it." Viper's wife said simply. "Talk to the RIOs and get them to help. They each most certainly have a vested interest in the situation." Viper sat back and pondered. "I could call them both in the office to 'discuss' the situation today. Yes, that could work." Jester and Viper smiled. "See why we need them, Rick?"
The foursome discussed future steps but everyone agreed over dessert that the right next step was to check in with Goose and Slider.
Maverick had turned in early, the day of adrenaline highs and lows, catching up to him. When Goose was sure he was deeply asleep, he slipped out to the common room to think and see if Slider would join him. He only waited a few minutes when Slider catiously entered the room.
"Hey Ron, how's Tom?" Goose asked first. "He'll be okay. It's bad, but it's not as bad as junior year at the Academy." Goose nodded, "That's good, I never want it to be like that again. Anything I can do?"
Slider shook his head, "I'll let you know if that changes. How's Pete? Is he really ok?" Goose nodded, "Physically yes, the bruises will take a bit, but this has something stirred up in him and he hasn't talked to me about it yet. But I'm pretty sure I know what it is."
Slider looked around, "We should talk somewhere else. Fancy a late-night snack?" Goose stood up, "Sure, why not." The pair were sitting in a parking lot facing the ocean and eating burgers as they pondered their pilots. "Listen Ron, he hasn't really said anything, but" Goose runs his hand cautiously up the back of his neck, "he definitely has something for Tom. But he is still working it all out and he still dates women and I don't know how Tom would feel about that."
Ron waits for Goose to finish, "Nick, if Pete gives Tom the time of day, I'm pretty sure he can get away with anything. Tom is pretty far gone on him already, even if he won't admit it."
"Funny way of showing it trying to kill him," Goose said. Ron raised an eyebrow, "I know, Nick, but that's why we are here right now. We have to help them get passed the bullshit either to each other or to at least work with each other."
"So what do we do? Setup a candlelight dinner with no sharp objects or breakables and stand watch to see what happens?" Goose asked. Slider shook his head. "How did you ever get Carole, Goose?" Goose smiled, "I played the piano and smiled at her."
"Well, I don't think that will work with these two idiots. I was thinking something more appetizer-like, give us time to really see what is going on," Goose waited for Slider to continue, "but it has to be something competitive. Something that allows them to peacock for the other."
The two consider possibilities when Slider snaps his fingers, "Beach volleyball." Goose rolls the idea around his head, "that could work, plus it will give Wood and Wolfe a chance to show off their boyfriends without being too obvious."
Slider snorted, "I can't believe they still think we don't know." Goose chuckled, "Actually, I don't think Chipper and Sundown know yet; those two are oblivious on a good day." As Slider thought, "maybe we don't invite them."
Goose wadded up the wrapper from his burger. "That's the right call, I don't know them that well, and I would never want to put any of the four of them in danger."
Slider nodded, "That's the plan then; we'll play beach volleyball tomorrow after the afternoon hop."
Goose had one last question, "What do we do if Viper pairs them up again tomorrow or later?" Slider sighs, "If that happens, I'll talk to Iceman before preflight and see if I can keep him from getting caught up in memories. If that doesn't work, I'll have to chat with Viper. Can you handle Mav?"
Goose nodded, "Yes, he'll be a little subdued tomorrow because everyone can see the bruise. I'll talk with him before preflight too. Hopefully, tomorrow's hops will just be dogfights."
Slider laughed, "What a life, right Goose. We're hoping for just dogfight practice."
"Let's head back. I know Tom will have you up before 05:00 for your regular exercises." Goose said. Slider nodded, "I'm surprised you remember that, Goose."
"Remember it? I'm thanking my lucky stars he doesn't try to force me to participate again. Rooming with Pete has some advantages." Slider laughs at Goose's response and drives them back to base.
As I grow older I feel my capacity to understand that Miss Piggy is not a real person reached a peak in my adolescence and is now on a steady decline. I watched a Wendy Williams interview and there's this part that's like "can we get a ring cam!" and Miss Piggy shows her bling and I'm just like fuck she's so iconic. Miss Piggy who are you wearing? Miss Piggy have you ever considered running for office??
Like literally every time I see Miss Piggy there's a period where I need to readjust to the fact that it's not a person, and I feel that period is getting longer and longer with every instance
If a Muppet ran for office, I would vote for them in a heartbeat. I'm not even joking. Yeah, so I'm actually voting for their puppeteer, and the puppeteer's name is the one on the ballot, but that's honestly not any worse than people voting for Ronald Reagan because he was an actor they recognized. And the Muppets in particular have been very vocally left-wing since Jim Henson made them. And I trust that Eric Jacobson (Miss Piggy's current puppeteer, after Frank Oz retired) would know when it was important to be a human and when it was okay to be in-character.
A/N: I'm threading between canon compliance and not here. Matchmaking is complicated so it will take a while, esp for that one blond and brunette. But let's see how you feel about our resident matchmaker after this one. He's pretty proud of himself so far.
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The next morning Viper walked into the classroom, "Hollywood, Wolfman come take a walk with me."
The pilots and RIOs exchanged confused looks between and across the pairs. Maverick leaned over to Goose, "What do you think that is about?" Goose shrugs, "Maybe an evaluation of yesterday's hop, I know Viper likes to do some individual feedback." Maverick shrugs and nods.
From a seat in the front corner of the room, Charlie tries to catch Maverick's gaze. Jester steps in front of the screen to begin a lecture on maneuvers against smaller aircraft. The hair on the back of Maverick's neck stands up. He knows someone is watching him. Assuming it's Charlie, he keeps his eye front and listens to Jester.
Pete is plenty happy to let Charlie use him for info while he keeps up appearances for the Navy, but he certainly isn't interested in starting 'something' with her. He takes a quick glance out of the corner of his eye and notices her looking down at her notes. The prickles on his neck are back and he glances over his left shoulder. That's when he makes eye contact with a far more intense blond, Kazansky. Iceman is chomping his gum, spinning his pen through his fingers and has his eyes locked on Maverick. Misreading the look and intention completely, Maverick takes it as a challenge. He applies his cocky smirk to his face and juts his jaw out just slightly in challenge to Iceman. Goose is actively ignoring the two pilots, but Slider see the whole thing. He suppresses a chuckle when he realizes the mistake of Maverick. Maverick turns back around to listen to Jester again. Goose looks back over his shoulder and catches Slider's eye. The RIOs exchange knowing looks and small shrugs. Charlie stands up and the RIOs turn their attention back to the class.
Hollywood and Wolfman quietly follow Viper through the halls racking their brains to figure out what they've done wrong. They had heard about the grand ass-chewing Maverick and Goose had received and were not looking forward to their turn, for whatever it is they have done.
Viper quietly leads the pair to the parking lot and to what must be his car. He gestures for the pair to get in as he affirms with his instructions, "Hop in, Gentlemen." If Hollywood and Wolfman were confused and nervous before, they were nearly terrified now, but they did as asked and took seats in the car, Hollywood up front and Wolfman in the backseat, as usual.
Viper started the car, slid his aviators on his face and started toward the gate. He still said nothing but both men could tell he was appraising the situation. What situation, they still couldn't ascertain and thought it best to remain quiet.
After they cleared the base gates and turned onto the highway, Viper finally spoke. "Gentleman, it has come to my attention that you share a close relationship."
Both Hollywood and Wolfman froze for a split second. Wolfman recovered first, "Yessir, like all pilots and RIOs Wood and I know each other well." He started to say they were like brothers, but that is not accurate and whatever is happening, Wolf decided guarded honesty to be the best policy.
"Hmmm" was all Viper said. "Listen, what I'm about to say stays here in this car, treat it like classified information. Mishandling it could have similar consequences, understood?"
"Yes, sir" Wolf replied. "Sir, yes sir." from Hollywood.
"Scuttlebutt says you two linger in the locker room longer than the others and you weren't seen at the bar the other night."
Hollywood stammers, "We wanted to review--"
Viper held up a hand to stop him. "Just listen." Viper makes another turns and drives the along the coast. He finds that seeing the ocean is calming to most, but especially Naval aviators and has taken to having serious talks where they can see the water. "We all know that scuttlebutt is just that, but often it has at least some truth in it. What I want you to know, is that if there is a connection I need to know. I'm talking about a real, genuine connection and not a habit that is convenient for deployments." He quirks an eyebrow and glances at them both.
Hollywood looks down at his shoes, Wolfman looks anywhere but the other men in the car. Viper waits, patiently driving and glancing at the ocean for himself. After what seems like an hour (but is really just 5 minutes), Hollywood speaks up. "I know for me, sir, it is real." Heat and flush creep up his face and neck to the tips of his ears. He chuckles uncomfortably, "I haven't even told Leo that yet."
For his part, Wolfman takes it all in stride. "Thank fuck." he chuckle sighs. "Rick, I was getting nervous that it was one sided."
At that Hollywood turns around, "No dumbass, but we can't parade it around, we will face a court-martial..." An identical look of horror broke out on each face as they remembered where they were and with whom. "Fuck, fuck, fuck" was all Wolfe could muster.
Viper laughed out loud. "Gentleman, if this were that kind of talk, we'd be in my office." He rubs a finger across his mustache considering his words carefully. "Officially, I can and do know nothing. Naval rules apply to us all. The thing is, I love the Navy, but it takes and takes from us and almost never gives much in return. I know we signed up for it and I love to serve and duty and honor are important, but love matters too. When you have a job like we do, having someone to love and who loves you back gives your life meaning, purpose, a reason to come home, reasons to balance it all."
He paused and looks at the two aviators. They are cautiously looking between him and each other. "I couldn't do this job without my wife. She is my partner, my friend, she supports me, tells me when I'm pushing too hard, when I need to do more and I think everyone should have that." Another quick glance at the ocean. "Is that the kind of connection you two have?"
Hollywood can't contain his smile, "It is for me sir. Leo knows everything about me and he is good to me, good for me." He turns to look back at Wolfe and reaches a hand over the seat.
Viper meets the RIOs eyes through the rearview mirror and awaits a response. "God yes, Rick is the man of my dreams. I've been in love with him since the first time I saw him. I didn't know it showed, I thought I was being careful."
Viper shook his head dismissively, "You could be as careful as possible and our resident romantic would sniff it out. I'm not at liberty to say who that is but you need not worry about them either." He braces himself, "Let me be clear, you must continue to be very careful and you cannot talk about this conversation, but love is the most important thing we can do in life and I don't think the Navy has the right to threaten or take that from anyone."
"Sir?" Hollywood speaks up, still cautious and skeptical of Viper "are you saying you aren't going to discipline us?"
"That's right, I'm not." Viper turns into a parking lot at the beach and parks facing the ocean. As he turns to speak to Hollywood and Wolfman he sees them both staring at each other, eyes glistening. "Fellas, I need to stretch my legs for about 5 minutes. Then we have some other things to discuss." He leans toward the two and in a classic Dad voice says "5 minutes is 5 minutes and this is my wife's car, don't disrespect her. Got it?"
Simultaneous, "Yes sirs" echoed through the car. Viper looked at his watch and stepped out of the car. He walked along the sidewalk to a bench and sat looking over the ocean, plotting the next step.
Inside the car, Hollywood looked at Wolfman, "You, you love me? Really?" Wolfe looked back at the pilot, "Yes, I do. You're amazing. Handsome, great pilot, fun, you are the total package."
Hollywood shook his head, "I love you too, Leo. I'm so lucky." Leo leaned forward as Hollywood turned a little more as their lips brushed in a gentle kiss. "Are we sure we aren't going to get disciplined, is this a test?" Hollywood mumbled against Wolfeman's lips. "Shut up and kiss me, we only have 3 minutes left." They used the remaining 3 minutes to softly kiss each other and mumble assurances of love and "yes, it's real". A single sharp tap on the driver's window marks the end of 5 minutes. The two straighten in their seats as Viper once again sat behind the wheel.
"I just have to check one more time, you're sure about this?" Without hesitation this time, both men confirm.
"Ok, so let's see what we CAN do." Viper backs the car from the spot and proceeds back to the highway toward the base. "Wolfe are you in a single or a double?"
"Double sir, I'm bunking with Kerner." Viper nods. He glances at Hollywood "You in with Kazansky then?"
"No, Kazansky is in a single. I'm bunking with Goose."
"What? Goose is married, he should be in a single so his family can visit."
"He had a single sir, but he gave it to Maverick. I assume because he's said to have has such a revolving door and it makes scheduling easier."
Viper frowns. That's possible but something doesn't add up there. He adds that to his mental list.
"That complicates things a little." Viper taps his mustache as he drives and considers his next move. "Here's what's going to happen." The two men wait, wondering why any of this matters.
"We are going to move everyone to doubles and we will house pilots and their RIOs together."
"Oh, OH." Hollywood says. Wolfman just grins.
"Mind you, you need to be careful at all times, you hear me?" Viper said. "Copy that". But neither man could keep the smile off their face.
Viper chuckles, "That, Gentleman" he points between the two, "is the opposite of careful, you look like cats that ate the canaries. It's 2 miles to base, get it together. "
It took some work, but Hollywood and Wolfman were able to school their features as they pulled back onto base. Viper parked and sent them to lunch with instructions to say nothing about the new arrangements.
The morning hop had gone well, Maverick and Goose scoring the points today and behaving well during class and the hop. Jester was becoming restless with Hollywood and Wolfman not returning yet and he hoped that it was a good talk and not a forced hand for Viper. He was sure that he had gotten it right. That look that Wolfman gave Hollywood, mostly when Wood wasn't looking was love. Love had to be nurtured, but he needed to know what was happening with Viper and the two men.
He rinsed off in the shower as fast as was reasonable and donned a fresh flight suit. There wasn't another hop scheduled, but he hoped to go up with Hollywood and Wolfman this afternoon anyway.
Jester stopped by the mess and grabbed two sandwiches and some chips and all but runs to Viper's office. He slows as he turns the corner closest to Viper's door and schools his face. A quick knock to the doorframe and he enters without an answer from the other side.
"Please Commander Heatherly, come in, do make yourself at home." Viper scoffs as Jester sets out the sandwiches and chips on the desk. "Oh knock it off Mike, you know why I'm here. Was I right?"
Viper leans back in his chair unwilling to give anything just yet. He tears open the small bag of chips and makes a show of taking one slowly and thoughtfully chewing it before swallowing. A frustrated Jester, sighs and spins his hand in the air to try to speed Viper along.
Viper laughs. "All right, all right, Venus, I'll tell you." Heatherly rolls his eyes at the nickname but keeps his mouth shut. "You were right, it's real." Jester smiles and claps his hand one time "Hot damn, I knew it."
Viper chuckled, "You are as bad as your wife, Rick. You love love and want everyone to be in love."
"If that's the worst you can say about me Mike, I'll take it. But, Cupid, what's your plan?"
Viper stopped, "What plan, who says I have a plan? Cupid, really?"
"Tell me your plan and I'll take it back if it doesn't fit." Jester said, perched on the edge of his seat eyes twinkling.
"Ok,ok. We are rearranging bunk assignments. Everyone will be in doubles and if visitors come we can move those to singles."
Jester narrowed his eyes, "You going to put Iceman and Maverick together?"
"No, Rick I'm not. Yet." The "yet" was much quieter than the rest but Jester still heard it. "We are going to pair up the pilots and their RIOs for now."
Jester sat back, "But how does that...OH, right. One step at a time, eh Sir?"
"Something like that." Viper said. He glances at the clock. "Come on, let's go tell them about the rearranging. They should be back in the classroom now."
The two picked up the nearly forgotten sandwiches and ate as they walked to the classroom.
--------------------------------------------
Viper commanded the room before he even spoke, "Gentlemen, we are making some changes to improve our training program. Starting tonight, everyone will be bunking in doubles."
Maverick froze, jaw and fist clenched, unmoving. Since the pilot clenched his jaw and fist regularly, only 4 people in the room noticed, Goose, Jester, Viper and Iceman.
Goose nudged his pilot's shoulder to break him out of his state. It worked and Maverick chewed his gum and listened to Viper.
From the seat directly behind Maverick, Iceman saw the pilot freeze when Viper mentioned doubles. Knowing that all pilots shared bunks with someone on a carrier, Kazansky found Mitchell's reaction odd in a way that made him soften a little toward the younger pilot.
Jester was barely containing his glee at all the goings on when Viper announced the double bunking. As he glanced around the room he noticed Maverick was locked up tight at the jaw and fist unmoving. What on Earth is that about, he wondered.
As Viper announced the double bunking situation and saw Maverick instantly freeze, he wondered what drove that response. He was certain it wasn't the more complicated companionship scheduling. No, he looked haunted. Viper filed that information away for later and continued.
"Each pilot and RIO pair will bunk together. We think that will better allow you to work on strategies and process our feedback for the duration of the program. For those of you who might have family come to visit," Goose perked up more to listen, "We will have apartment accomodations for those visits. Your families deserve that." He smiled and so did Goose.
Maverick looked relieved to find out he would be bunking with Goose, but there was still sweat beading on his brow.
"For those who need to relocate, please have that done by 22:00 this evening, no bar tonight fellas, sorry."
There were a few grumbles but for the most part, everyone took it in stride as Viper dismissed the class.
Viper walked up the center aisle followed by Jester, both feeling quite pleased with themselves.
Slider and Iceman lean forward, "Sorry Goose, now your stuck with Maverick."
Goose replied, "I'm harder to live with, Mav's the best." Maverick leaned forward a little and smirked at the pair. "Hear that Kazansky, I'm the best."
Goose tugged on Maverick's collar not in the mood for this again. "Come on buddy, we've got to get you moved."
The pair left the room and Slider just looked at Iceman. "Are you kidding? Maverick, seriously?!?!?!?"
Kazansky looked around the empty classroom, and quietly said, "Slider, if you don't keep your voice down, I'm going to rip your tongue out."
Slider threw his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, Tom. I wasn't thinking. But we will be talking about it." Slider said in an equally menacing tone. As the final pair exited the classroom, they did not notice the pair of instructors still standing by the door in the hallway.
Jester had not heard the interaction, but Viper had. Halfway there, let's see where Maverick's head is.
