wuming

twitter: @/wuming__

[stormhordy]

pei ming: I've just ended a relationship

shi qingxiuan: oh my god, are you okay?

pei ming: yes, it wasn't mine

[stormhordy]

*wei wuxian sees a paper passing underneath his door*

the paper:

do you want to date me?

wei wuxian: lan zhan, I know it's you...

wei wuxian: and yes...

*lan wangji feels his heart miss a beat*

wei wuxian: yes, this is the wrong bedroom

wei wuxian: mian mian is next door

[stormhordy]

jun wu: tell me at least one of you is straight.

xie lian: ...

mu qing: ...

feng xin: ...

shi qingxuan: ...

yizhen: ...

shi wudu: *slowly raises his hand*

pei ming: *holds shi wudu's hand and puts it down* bro, don't even get me started.

[stormhordy]

just been thinking about an sns au where hua cheng is just obsessed with streamer xie lian and keeps talking about him on twitter, and, somehow, xie lian ends up finding him

[stormhordy]

*halloween party*

hua cheng: gege, why aren't you wearing any costume?

xie lian: but I am.

hua cheng: what you're dressed as?

xie lian: poor.

hua cheng: *sighs*

[stormhordy]

today I woke up and chose pain

[stormhordy]

lan wangji: wei ying, while we're out, you're the one in charge.

wei wuxian: I am the right man for that!

lan wangji: keep the juniors out of danger.

wei wuxian: I am kinda the right man for that.

lan qiren: and don't do anything stupid!

wei wuxian: you might need another man...

[stormhordy]

lan wangji: my hands are freezing.

wei wuxian: *holds his hands* better now?

lan wangji: mn.

lan wangji: but you know what, wei ying? my lips suddenly started to get cold too...

[stormhordy]

liu qingge: WHO THE FUCK ATE MY CANDY?

liu qingge: I SWEAR TO GOD WHEN I FIND OUT WHO DID THIS I AM GOING TO FUCKING KILL-

shen qingqiu: it was yours? :( I am sorry, I thought it was a gift, liu-shidi...

liu qingge: -them with hugs! I am going to kill them with the amount of hugs I am going to give! It's okay, qiu, you've not be eating enough lately.

[stormhordy]

hexuan: I just ate xie lian's pudding, how much time of life do you think I have left?

hua cheng: 10

hexuan: 10 what?

hua cheng: 9

[stormhordy]

wei wuxian, after a long time being quiet: I am breaking up...

lan wangji: I AM PREGNANT.

wei wuxian: ... the silence... I am breaking up the silence.

lan wangji: oh...

wei wuxian: lan zhan, what the fuck?

lan wangji: I panicked, I am sorry.

[stormhordy]

luo binghe *sighing* : I have never had a real friend.

shen qingqiu: it's okay, I can be your friend.

luo binghe:

shen qingqiu:

luo binghe: I have never had a husband either.

[stormhordy]

xie lian: mu qing, are you still undressed? you've been in your room for hours now.

mu qing: *breathless* I just... I just can't find any nice clothing... to wear.

xie lian: what do you mean? your closet has a lot of nice things.

*xie lian opens up the door to the closet*

xie lian: see? shirts, pants, hi fengxin, shoes...

[stormhordy]

fengxin: hi, good morning.

muqing: hi, good morning.

fengxin: did you sleep well?

muqing: did you sleep well?

fengxin: why are you repeating what I'm saying?

muqing: why are you repeating what I'm saying?

fengxin: I love you.

muqing: I did sleep well.

fengxin: ...

[stormhordy]

luo binghe: I love you, shizun.

shen qingqiu: love you too.

luo binghe: 🤨 I love you, shizun.

shen qingqiu: love you too...

luo binghe: 😧 >I< love you, shizun.

shen qingqiu: love you too!

luo binghe: *sobbing* WHO? WHO LOVES ME?

shen qingqiu: I DO.

luo binghe: *starts crying* THEN SAY IT.

shen qingqiu: I love you, luo binghe.

luo binghe: *instantly stops crying* 🥺🥰❤️

[stormhordy]

hua cheng: I've just cut my finger.

xie lian: let me kiss it so it'll get better.

hua cheng: does it work?

xie lian: absolutely, my mom used to do it when I was a kid.

*later that day*

hua cheng: he xuan, I need you to punch me in the mouth.

he xuan: fucking finally.

[stormhordy]

xie lian - I don't even mind.