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nonbinary-jakey

when you read a horror novel and the author isn't a pervert

I'm about to get divorced.

My husband just said to me

"I know you kept asking me what I thought of Gideon the Ninth, but honestly I'm still on the fence about it"

JAIL! JAIL FOR 200 YEARS!!

#gtn #gideon the ninth #the locked tomb #horrible pun #divorce #jail for mother

a-drifting-boat

John when his Ninth House Lyctor decides she isn't hungry and now he has a pet daughter.

In my neighborhood in JD Couchfukers hometown we have seen a recent uptick in what we can only assume are ice agents. This neighborhood is almost entirely Latino, either black Latinos from a generation or two back or more recent Mexican Latinos.

But the tamales ladies can't properly develop in the presence of ice, and I want a garden of naturally grown latin keystones. I know we will probably never have a piragua man, but I can hope.

What do?

#ice #latino #im a faggot

slyandthefamilybook

why did they start breeding busses to have flat faces. they can't breathe

slyandthefamilybook

if you think this

looks better than this

you're part of the problem. I'm so tired of all the excuses like "oh they look cuter!" "why do you care?" THEY CAN'T BREATHE. People intentionally breeding these vehicles to give them health problems because they "like how it looks" makes me so mad

the-starlight-papers

Actually, flat faced buses can breathe fine! This is a case of convergent evolution, but the two types of buses are not genetically related.

Pointed nose buses are decended from trucks, and have their engines located in the front. This requires the larger nose in order to provide the space for the engine as well as adequate ventilation.

Meanwhile, flat nosed buses are actually descended from city buses (which in turn descend from trolleys), and were domesticated due to their greater maneuverability and capacity.

Contrary to popular belief, flat nosed busses typically do not experience breathing problems. Their engines are located in the back of the bus, with a large breathing vent located in the rear.

These buses also have a different structure to accommodate this change, typically including doubled back tires, a different weight distribution, and a change in location of the emergency egress door from the back to the left side.

stormy-nights-are-best

If only pugs could breathe through their butt too :((

asthedeathoflight

Still thinking about none houses left grief, and while I understand where people are coming from, "it took me out of the world" is just... Really not a relevant criticism here. Like, that line is SUPPOSED to be jarring. It is supposed to be kind of darkly funny, but the point isnt for you to laugh. Its not trying to be a punchline. The point of that line IS to "take you out of the world" because the point is that *this world isn't what you thought it was.*

griddleharkbrainrot

For me, John's memes are what made me truly realize that this wasn't some fantasy world, it was OUR world. It was the EARTH that was destroyed not some made up planet. Here in this story, humanity as I know it was there and then it was gone. John's stupid meme references took the book series from interesting and funny to gut-wrenchingly painful. It made me realize that all of those weird twisted literary references and bad jokes were all that was left of the world I know. Everything else was lost. I can say with full confidence that the book series wouldn't be nearly as poignant to me without the none houses left beef joke.

annabelle--cane

the thing is that the locked tomb is about people who have suffered using making others suffer as their only available avenue to improve their state, either practically or emotionally. for a neat encapsulation of this, gideon is functionally enslaved on the house of the ninth, and her one hope of salvation is joining the cohort, aka the imperial space army. she has fantasies of finally escaping and joining up and doing so well that she's at last afforded a modicum of respect, recognition, and validation from the people who hurt her, but she never thinks about the reality of what it is the military does to those it charges against. for another obvious one: hot sauce. she's fourteen and she's experienced a huge amount of imperial violence and she's completely cool with burning people alive for spectacle and she shoots nona in the goddamn head. it's not a real position of power by any means, but her reaction to surviving all this violence is to make herself the head of a "gang," and before shooting nona she takes the time to state that she's been kicked out, leveraging the tiny amount of power she has against someone else. repeat ad nauseam with every single character, they're all stuck in the torment nexus and trying to alleviate the torment just a little bit by kicking it down the line to someone else, many of them not even letting themselves entertain the idea that they're maybe doing something wrong.

and, well. john gaius.

#crab bucket

poughkeepsiesjr

if you feel queerbaited by actual real human beings have you considered that maybe you're just queerstupid and queerparasocial and need to touch some queergrass

dick-hardboiled

There is absolutely a platonic explanation for that

dick-hardboiled

But I will also entertain the non platonic for my own edification do u understand

goldensunset

cpericardium

You're locked in a room by yourself for an hour. The room is empty except for a device that, when activated, administers a painful electric shock. How many times are you shocking yourself?

0

1

2-5

6-10

11-20

21-40

41-60

61-80

81-100

100+

Voting ended onFeb 9

That last option should say 101+ btw

beardedmrbean

keroa

reblog if AAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

numahachi

アアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアアア

phuiscribbles

啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊啊

valbrandur

ddemotivators

AAAAAAAAAHHH!!!

skarchomp

moolinator

aaa-aaaa-a-a !!!

aaa-aaaa-a-a

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A A AAAA A A AAAAA A AA AA A A A AA

redstonedust

when boy bands sing a love song addressed to the listener does that imply all 5-10 of them are in love with you at once. that seems like a lot of pressure i don't know if i want to be the nucleus of the boyband polycule.

spiralstaircased

Me when I'm old as fuck and my grandkids talk to me: this reminds me of a post. I gotta go find the post

Grandkids: grandpa sit down you don't need to show us a post

Me: (not listening) Now where was that post....

goatedgreen

every person you meet will have one bit that only they find funny. it is important that you hate that bit as much as possible in order to enrich their experience of doing the bit. it is part of the enjoyment of the bit

irondive

harbinger-of-silly

All gays will go to hellsite

king-of-oreo

What if in hellsite but not gay

punky-beaver-offical

king-of-oreo

NO!

avhira

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