@streimel - Tumblr Blog

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

cryptid-sighting

0v9

Me to to my cat when I'm getting out the vacuum: please leave the room if this will affect you

frogglegged

3amsnow-deactivated20241128

ID: a text message with a heart reaction attached to it that is edited to say "are you in the right headspace to receive vacuum noises that could possibly hurt you?" end ID

#the answer is literally always no

luulapants

In 4th grade, my bff was in a death feud over chess with a boy in our class but instead of competing like normal people they decided that the best way to determine who was chess master was for each of them to select one of the two biggest idiots in class and teach them to play chess, My Fair Lady style, and see whose idiot won. We are just now, 22 years later, grappling with the moral implications of this exercise.

#JACOB