This is the last thing I’ll say about it, but this applies to soooo many other things I see on here:
PSA, if you are called in/out, if you unintentionally hurt someone, if someone expresses they were hurt and that wasn’t your intention, if your words are interpreted in a way you did not intend…. you can literally just apologize.
A grand majority of the time, a simple apology and acknowledgement is enough! You can say you didn’t mean it and try to explain again, but you need to recognize and own that your words hurt someone.
Doubling down may feel instinctual. It hurts you to be told you did something wrong—and that’s okay, that is a hurt all humans know. To grow as a person you have to resist the urge to retreat from that pain. Own up to it, learn from it, and we all carry on feeling better.
I actually don't know the original situation this post is referring to, but since it's on my dash I'll just add:
Getting called out/in is an honor. It means someone trusted you. It means they thought that if they brought your behavior to your attention, you would be a smart and kind human and change your behavior.
If someone says something awful and I know there's no changing them, I roll my eyes and keep walking. If someone didn't roll their eyes and keep walking, and instead offered you their soft underbelly to risk saying, "Actually that's kind of fucked up," because they thought you'd value the information and adjust accordingly, you have been honored.
I was a pretty defensive kid for way too long, and this way of looking at it helped me. Thought I'd throw it out there in case it helps you.
