Stuff and Thingies

I love books and animal behaviour. I have ehlers danlos syndrome, Orthostatic tacycardia, Severe combined type ADHD and ME/CFS. My dog blog is jackrum-jackbutt.

[vantasticmess]

my experience with adhd

I don’t even remember putting that thing down but now it’s not in my hand and I don’t know where it went

‘what do you mean you can just think about nothing? what’s that like? I don’t understand’

*tuning out of a conversation halfway through somebody else’s sentence because I just thought of something interesting*

carrying my psychiatrist’s business card with me at all times because I see her once a month and every time I go I forget what floor her office is on. I’ve been there 8 times

‘Between A & B, A would be the right thing to do’ *a cascading thought process that takes a few seconds tops, justifying option B* ‘actually B would be the right thing to do’

somebody else, later: why did you think B was the right thing to do??

me: …. it’s not important, I’ll know better next time

(spoiler: I won’t know better next time)

I know you already told me this thing like 12 times but can you tell me again just one more time because I forgot

it’s not that I forgot that I wasn’t supposed to do this thing. it’s just that in that particular moment i thought it was okay to do it anyway for reasons that would take 48 minutes to explain even though it only took me 3 seconds to justify it in my thoughts, so it’s easier for me to just say ‘I forgot’

‘I already told you that’ ‘really? I must have forgotten, i’m sorry’ ‘it was FIVE MINUTES AGO. in this SAME CONVERSATION’

this internal conversation:

me: I feel motivated to do this responsible thing

me: if I don’t do this responsible thing right now I will get distracted and forget to do it for another 5 hours

me: so I should do this thing right this second, there is nothing stopping me

me: after I finish this one cell phone game

me, 5 hours later: I KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN

almost flunking a class because I straight up didn’t know any homework had been assigned despite loving the class and always attending

trusting the memory of literally anyone else over my own memory

intending to do something for days. sometimes months. never doing it

*cuddling somebody* mm this is nice … *2 seconds later* bored now

somebody is mad at me. I might as well fucking d i e

the options in company are: overshare about the one thing I care about or not talk at all

insensitive or inattentive? YOU decide (and when you tell me that i hurt your feelings and I didn’t notice I’ll rejection sensitive dysphoria into fantasies of disappearing forever)

being excellent at my job for months on end, doing everything right and everything well, and then suddenly & without explanation being t h e  w o r s t at it for several weeks, making dumb mistakes everywhere for no discernible reason

when asked to explain something: well it all started when I was a baby

‘they don’t need that much explanation’ well YOU tell ME where to start b/c I have no fucking clue tbh

i can’t throw away anything b/c when I look at it I remember all the sentimental reasons I keep it around and they seem just as important as actually needing it and when I close the storage box back up I forget I had it in the first place until the next time I try to get rid of my clutter and repeat this process

i wasnt’ idle for a second all day and yet I didn’t accomplish a n y t h i n g

am i a speed-reader or was I so impatient for what came next that I read only half a page and then skipped to the next one?

getting excited about a project, starting it, then racing to finish it as fast as I can because when I get bored I’ll abandon it and never go back. must beat the boredom

edit my fics? working twice on the same idea? /uproarious laughter

well I fucked that up. too bad I can never rework it because I no longer have passionate energy for it

me, opening a bottle of adhd meds: I don’t have adhd. I’m just a lazy bum who doesn’t try hard enough

[vantasticmess]

I’ve seen so many people reblog this with ‘I don’t have ADHD but I relate to all of this’ and I just wanted to add:

this list is mostly about inattention, overthinking things, and failure to follow through.

at its heart, adhd is the inability to pick what your attention is locked onto, sometimes combined with a need to move constantly (hyperactivity).  This manifests as:

lively internal life + rapid thought & intuitive leaps of cognition - good when being creative, bad when trying to make a logical decision

overthinking things

impulsive behavior

short attention span + being easily distracted

unnaturally long attention span + inability to notice outside stimuli

short term memory dysfunction

executive dysfunction

no sense of priority (everything is equally important)

no sense of time in relation to self (cannot effectively tell how long an activity will take or develop a sense of urgency based on a deadline until the deadline is perilously close or already passed)

failure to follow through (leaving work incomplete)

forgetting to remember/remembering tasks at inappropriate times

intrusive thoughts

And pretty much everyone experiences one or all of these things at times, and these symptoms can spring from other causes than ADHD (for instance, executive dysfunction accompanies depression and anxiety as well). 

But adhd people have this happen so constantly and so intrusively that we cannot complete basic tasks, even if we want to:

The only thing consistent about us is inconsistent results: sometimes we’re on time, sometimes we’re not. sometimes we’re reliable, sometimes we’re not. sometimes we’re studious, sometimes we’re not … (and trust me we’re not enjoying it any more than you are)

We fail classes, we drop out of college, we lose jobs, and no matter how much we try, we cannot fix it.

We can’t just remove distractions - our brains are a distraction.

We can’t just ‘try harder’ - our wayward mind might be focusing on our studying today, but tomorrow it might not. The same effort level will have wildly different results on different days because our attention cooperated … or didn’t.

it is literally impossible for us to choose our focus. pretty much ever.

Another common tag? ‘I wanted to read all of this but I couldn’t’. that’s adhd.

So this list is pretty relateable, even if you don’t have adhd.  But if this happens to you to the point that you’re getting in trouble at school or your job and you’re pissing off your friends? might be worth looking into what’s going on with you.

[theunsinkablesappho]

For example. How my “free” time goes with ADHD: Power on XBOX Log Into Netflix Start watching 1 of 18 shows that I have watched 9 times each and which have been off the air for a decade or more Spend 30 minutes goofing on Facebook while Netflix plays Switch over to play video game I’ve been wanting to play for a week Die in video game Give up and go back to Netflix Get bored with Netflix after 15 minutes and go to Hulu Spend 30 minutes goofing on Facebook while Hulu plays Switch over to play video game I died in before Die again and give up again Repeat ad nauseum

[adhdpie]

OP on ADHD sideblog here and holy shit, this reblog is too damn real. god. what a relief to know i’m not alone in this

[stuffandthingies]

Reblogging to read the rest later

[justmyflawedlogic-deactivated20]

“average homosexual sleeps with more than 500 ppl in their life time” factoid actualy just statistical error. average homosexual sleeps with 3 people per year. Homosexuals Georg, who lives in cave & tops over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[cornerof5thandvermouth]

wh

where’s the cave

[paradiseismade]

Where’s the cave OP?

[dicktouching]

Where’s the cave

[devoutjunk]

Things Women In Literature Have Died From, Mallory Ortberg

[youngandloaded-deactivated20210]

My brain, which is being extra weird and ADHD today: We feel like shit. We're simultaneously hyperactive and exhausted. What shall we do?

My brain @ my brain: C-c-caffeine? Ya... ya want some fuckin' caffeine? That sweet sweet giant mug of black coffee at ten o'clock at night?

[tastefullyoffensive]

View this post on Instagram

Pearl, the deaf and blind dog, plays with her best friend, Pete.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

I really like this video. Not only is it cute, but it’s a great example of how dogs with physical disabilities are still capable of engage with other fully-abled dogs - and you can also see to some degree how innate play behavior is, since Pearl is still giving off entirely appropriate social signals even though she may never have been able to see well enough to observe them in other dogs. (This last is an educated guess - although I don’t know this dog’s specific hisotry, double merle dogs that are totally white are frequently born entirely blind and deaf.) 

The white dog - the blind and deaf double-merle - is reflexively falling back into play-bows when she’s not sure where they other dog is. You can see that at first, Pete is a little bit unsure what’s going on (there’s some lip-licking and displacement sniffing from him) but he’s then happy to engage with Pearl when she initiates play behavior. Her behavior is very measured, for all that it’s energetic, and she’s stopping frequently and reassessing the situation and letting Pete re-engage with her. 

[astound]

learning everyday | credit

[marisatomay]

[kingwizardandthelizardgizza-blog]

Douglas Adams is the best when it comes to describe characters

[quasarkisses]

they need to teach classes on Douglas Adams analogies okay

“He leant tensely against the corridor wall and frowned like a man trying to unbend a corkscrew by telekinesis.”

“Stones, then rocks, then boulders which pranced past him like clumsy puppies, only much, much bigger, much, much harder and heavier, and almost infinitely more likely to kill you if they fell on you.”

“He gazed keenly into the distance and looked as if he would quite like the wind to blow his hair back dramatically at that point, but the wind was busy fooling around with some leaves a little way off.”

“It looked only partly like a spaceship with guidance fins, rocket engines and escape hatches and so on, and a great deal like a small upended Italian bistro.”

“If it was an emotion, it was a totally emotionless one. It was hatred, implacable hatred. It was cold, not like ice is cold, but like a wall is cold. It was impersonal, not as a randomly flung fist in a crowd is impersonal, but like a computer-issued parking summons is impersonal. And it was deadly - again, not like a bullet or a knife is deadly, but like a brick wall across a motorway is deadly.”

[nudityandnerdery]

And, of course: “The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don’t.”

[assassinregrets]

the one that will always stay with me is “Arthur Dent was grappling with his consciousness the way one grapples with a lost bar of soap in the bath,” i feel like that was the first time i really understood what you could do with words.

[marsdaydream]

I will reblog this every time I see it because these are some of my favorite sentences in the English language.

[brainstatic]

Y'all think being in a goth relationship means wearing white makeup together but Mary Shelley lost her virginity on her mother’s grave so maybe step it up.

[bandydear]

Mary Shelley carried her husband’s heart around and lived in a crypt after he died. No one will ever be as goth as Mary Shelley.

[zoreta]

She also wasn’t carrying around, like, a mummified heart. Her husband’s heart had calcified, meaning it had grown bone within itself and possibly around itself, and it is this heart of bone which she carried. When she was young she carried it wrapped in a silk pouch, and when older it was kept in her desk, wrapped in a page from his poem Adonais. Adonais was one of his last poems, in which a deceased poet’s subjects (nature, Spring, the stars) mourn him, and long to join him in death. Then the narrator tells them do not mourn, for he has gone beyond where the minds and emotions of humans matter, to the Natural Spirit that is the source of all beauty.

Of his poems, it is this which she wrapped his heart in. There is none. more. goth.

[botanyshitposts]

Did u see?!! A new paper came out and! Plants react to anesthetic the same way as animals!

SOMEONE LINK ME PLEASSEEE

[botanyshitposts]

thanks to @aphid-kirby for linking the article published in futurism here! The specific study in question was published in Annals of Botany today!! it’s called “Anesthetics stop diverse plant organ movements, affect endocytic vesicle recycling and ROS homeostasis, and block action potentials in Venus flytraps” and is open access for everyone to read!!!

[thatadhdfeel]

That ADHDf when you get on tumblr to pass the time for a little while and you look up and suddenly it’s dark out and you’ve been on tumblr for 4 Hours. Tha

[nexya]

I love how humans have literally not changed throughout history like the graffiti from Pompeii has people from hundreds of years ago writing stuff like “Marcus is gay” “I fucked a girl here” “Julius your mum wishes she was with me” and leonardo da vinci’s assistants drew dicks in their notebooks just for the banter and mozart created a piece called “kiss my ass” so when people wish for ‘today’s generation’ to be like ‘how people used to’ then we’re already there buddy we’ve always been

[charlesoberonn]

The Hagia Sophia has inscriptions that were considered sacred for centuries until they were deciphered in the 70s to be Nordic runes saying “Halfdan wrote this”

[terminallydepraved]

my old english prof told us that theres a cave in Scandinavia where a viking gratified some runes like 14 feet up on the wall and when they finally reached it all it translated into was “this is very high”

[loremerchant]

Ancient Shitposting

Now on the History Channel

[self-critical-automaton]

‘People have literally just always been people’ is genuinely my favorite fact about the world

[skaletal-deactivated20190721]

“Times are bad. Children no longer obey their parents, and everyone is writing a book.” - Marcus Tullius Cicero, 106 BC - 43 BC

[super-star-destroyer]

Common dog names have literally not changed in 3,000 years.

[yuripink]

i feel like im in the sims where it takes 5 hours to make pasta and then u have to immediately go to bed

[vintar]

if you’re ever angry at yourself for screwing something up please think of the time that the russian military spent years trying to breed the ultimate water rescue dog only to end up creating dogs that swam over to drowning people and then mauled them instead

[marina-the-tumblerina-archive]

best of tumblr: harry potter

this is a fandom one cannot simply leave

(no post is made by lil’ ol’ me, hmu if you want yours removed)

[laughing-baubo]

I want Mr. Weasley to have one of those ridiculous boxes that’s just a switch, and when you flip the switch on, a door opens, and a little hand comes out and turns the switch back off.

He’d spend hours playing with that. You know he would.

[cassandracalin]

It’s great.

[brolinjosh]

#mood