WHY DOES HE KEEP SAYING THAT???

Shortest pile of Nurseydex trash. U can call me Noon. 21. She. Follows from @ndaiw

[bittybakespie]

Here’s your daily reminder that Ngozi wrote an entire 4 season, award-winning webcomic just because one time in college she and her friend were in the library having a conversation about how many people at Yale were LGBTQ+ (one in four, maybe more) and Chad from the Yale hockey team interrupted with, “haha not on the hockey team!” Like….Check, Please! was basically created just to spite that one guy and honestly… iconic.

[dereknursey]

anyone:

dex after living with nursey:

[firelordleah]

all i contribute to this fandom is memes but someone’s gotta

[baselessomgcpheadcanons]

Jack Zimmermann is the resident adult for the waffles even though they don’t know each other very well. Jack frequently gets texts asking how to handle adult situations. 

Hops: My car says I need an oil change 

Jack: And?

Hops: How 

[misterjackbittle]

Bold of you to assume Jack can change oil in a car. He’s dating Bitty for a REASON y’all

[kparse]

you know the recent trend with celebrities reading what they think are celebrity mean tweets but they turn out to be from fans who are just joking (eg “oscar isaac is a brooklyn hipster piece of shit”)?

what if that happens to jack. he goes on jimmy kimmel and he agrees to read some mean tweets. the first one they hand him says “@omgcheckplease: jack zimmermann has the dumbest fucking blue eyes who told him this was acceptable”

[mias-back-from-the-dead]

#he’d be like oh haha–wait

#wait….

#squints at the handle

#he just looks up and says

#This is my boyfriend’s account

[moved-to-axiir0]

jack is trying his best ok

based off of x

[zim-tits]

The Gay Touch™️

[gayjeris]

[fffuckthelaxbros]

[bitty-smol]

the fact that dex went from insulting the fact that bitty bakes to literally wanting him to not bake for anyone else makes my heart hurt. i love my boy.

[bitty-smol]

ngozi did the thing. she made it better.

[dreamthiefmoony]

In this house we love and support Shruti the rugby captain

[chyeah]

[eriquebittle]

dex: why do you have dancing queen by abba on your workout playlist?

nursey: because it snaps next question

[measurelessgarden]

nursey: I diagnose you with a severe case of the unchillsies.

dex: stop

nursey: I prescribe a vast amount of chill pills. take one twice a day with a slice of pie.

dex: you’re not even a doctor.

nursey: no.. I am a Nurse though.

[shitty-check-please-aus]

Derek Nurse’s interracial gay parents from New York are actually Captain Holt and Kevin from Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

[unacaritafeliz]

This is so funny when you imagine Captain Holt and Kevin reacting to like 90% of the words that Nursey chooses to say.

[dereknursey]

nursey on the phone in the next room: bagels are inherently gay

holt and kevin: How Did We Raise This

[dameferre]

the other side of this:

drunk nursey: dex is not, as the kids say, awake.

chowder, in awe: do you mean woke?

nursey: I did mean ‘woke’, but it’s grammatically incoherent.

[jewishbitty]

“You two just need to bone.” “How dARE you Derek Nurse I am your faTHER…” … “BOOONNEEEE” “What your father and I do in the bedroom is none of your concern!” — “BOOOOONEEEEEEE????!!”

[hoenursey]

Nursey: *yelling about something and arguing with his parents*

Captain Holt: “Derek, go to your room. I think you need to have some, as you say, ‘pound symbol me time’ to ‘pound symbol ‘chillax’’ before you continue to speak to your father and I in that tone of voice.”

[dumouwin]

there is 100% a twitter account @IsSMHintheLibrary and it’s just “nah they’re not here you’re good” or “oluransi is crying under a table and birkholtz is singing, stay away” or “just bittle, he’s watching hockey but the sound’s on low” or “RED ALERT NURSE, CHOW, AND POINDEXTER! STAY AWAY!!!!”

[misterjackbittle]

imagining bitty using everyones first name whenever he’s upset with them is the funniest thing.

[poetry-protest-pornography]

Full first names, no abbreviations

Chowder: Hey, BItty?

Bitty: Yes, Christopher?

Chowder (internally): Shit, he knows I scratched his favorite pan

Bitty: William, can you come here please?

Dex: Uh, sure Bits. Can I just say i’m sorry for whatever it is and also that I’m texting Nursey so he knows where I am?

Holster (walks into the room to find Bitty waiting for him with his arms crossed and foot tapping impatiently on the floor): Uh– *tries to back out of the room*

Bitty: Oh, Adam, I was hoping you had a minute? (It is absolutely not a question)

Jack: Hey, bud. What’s up?

Bitty: Well, Jaques…

[carocane]

…

[benjji2795]