full time fiancee

who else obsessed with their fiancee/future wife?

[sexygaywizard]

You'll never fuck a weird bitch if you have no whimsy

[draconym]

I used to really like the ✨ emoji but now she's best friends with AI and I feel like I can't trust her anymore

[vacuously-true]

NO do NOT let them win. We can save her. We can wrest her association back from AI. She doesn't deserve this and we can't abandon her.

[nativenews]

[isuggestrevolution]

i have a suggestion

[nonasuch]

hey did I ever post the best business card I’ve ever been given by a customer?

a woman wanted me to let her know if I had a particular item in storage, and she went to get a card out of her purse and went ‘oh no. I’m out of my work cards, I’m so sorry about this’ and handed me this:

apparently her husband made them for her as a joke but then she just had like 300 of them so they’re her backups when she runs out of her real business cards.

[depsidase]

[victusinveritas]

[jackhawksmoor]

[weaselle]

"adventurers are actually more scared of you than you are of them"

"he's literally just doing what an adventurer is supposed to do"

"do you think they think of us as Giant Adventurers?"

"do you know how many other creatures would be infesting our cave if there were no adventurers?"

"how would you like it if you were bumbling along on your little adventurer day, and some giant dragon thing squished you for the crime of being yourself?"

"y'know, so many dragons are grossed out by them, but i think they're fascinating! Did you know some adventurers form symbiotic relationships with small monsters? Some of them even do a simplified form of spellcraft! Like, with actual magic and everything!"

[mercaius]

"Of course they are swarming your cave, you dolt! You captured a juvenile queen and took it home with you, what did you expect!?"

[cecilias-cool-stuff]

Never stop hating

[akindplace]

do you guys remember when we googled something and we would get results that were actually related to the things we searched

[delphinidin4]

[dotty-literati]

the big mamdani

[dotty-literati]

[just-sans-things]

[cheaphalloweencostume]

it was a bad pain day yesterday so i was using my cane and i said to my bf “when i use my cane it makes me feel like i should be prescribing mouse bites.” and bf did not know what i meant so i sounded malignantly insane

[alkemylabz]

Interesting mile-long fanfic/theorypost/xreader imagine! Have you considered using this button

It may look like a yummy Burger, but it is called a "read more"

[poppific]

Americans trying to explain that they don’t want to see long text posts: so imagine a burger

[segamascott]

[sugarpiehoneybee]

I know people do it to confirm they understand and shit but it low key annoys me when I tell a patient that all their lab results come back normal and they follow up by asking whether a specific blood result was normal. Like, damnnnn you got me. I decided to lie and say it was normal when we found something fucked up and evil in there.

[venusish]

123movies & putlocker provide more for the people of this country than the army has ever

[kittenisajerk]

At least the army doesn’t take the money creators could have made. And is also not stealing anyone’s content. ^^

[uiruu]

they kill people

[monkeysky]

Minotaur is not a species

The Minotaur was named that because he was the son of King Minos. Anyone with a bull head has to be named after their dad, like the Kyletaur or something.

[supreme-leader-stoat]

[wintersoldierfell]

hang on i gotta google something

[supreme-leader-stoat]

I am so sorry.

[idrawsnoopyeveryday]

68.