Battinson getting sent a possible future or alternate universe and meeting an older version of himself that's with Superman.
They coax Battinson into bed with them. Have a mind blowing threesome for the poor virgin battinson, and send him home.
He falls straight into the older Superman's arm after the portal opens in the sky. And he forgets to breathe for a moment and just takes in the sheer sight that is a DILF Superman.
His suit upholding a regal quality, his huge muscles bulging out everywhere and his deep blue eyes and grey hairs falling on his face and Bruce almost passes out from all the blood that rushes towards his head in mere seconds to turn him beet red.
Before he can process this apparently DILF Superman's hotness, his attention snaps towards a cough coming from beside him and his breath is taken away for the second time when he sees his own older MILF self staring back at him and GODDAMN he's so fucking gorgeous too. His hair is greyer than Superman's and he's smaller than the man of steel but still so beautiful with his sharp grey eyes and lithe body.
He's so entranced by them that he doesn't even consider that he's currently checking out someone who's basically himself in theory.
The older superbat couple see through his very obvious attraction in seconds and they don't even have to coax him into falling into the bed with them.
They have fun with him for hours, taking advantage of his sweet submissive nature. Bruce spends hours eating out his older self's pussy and getting his own pussy fucked stupid by the DILF Kal and then some more when Kal ties them both to a double edged dildo.
He passes out sandwiched between them and wakes up with his mouth around the older Bruce's huge nipples and Kal fisting him from behind.
This goes for assholes, too, guys. I know a couple who went tubing once, and they had to re-air their tubes, but the guy thought it would be funny to stick the tip of the air compressor up to her bikini trunks, the air ruptured something inside her and she died within thirty minutes.
Reblogging with a link because I thought this was a legit joke. Never heard it before. Like I knew you could kill a person by inserting air into a vein but still.
As a general rule of thumb, do not push air into any bodily orifice, regardless of gender. It never ends well. Air compressors and the human body do NOT mix.
The crowd asks for Superboy Prime and Superman’s rivalry over Bruce!! Whenever you feel free to do so ofc!!
I have a new thought on their rivalry.
This happens after prime basically changes the reality to get Bruce in a relationship with him and completely devoted to him. Bruce has no idea that his life has changed drastically or that he's under prime's control.
Now prime changed the whole reality to fit his vision and it did it's job of rewriting everyone's memory to his accord, and it did with Clark too. He woke up one day and had no idea who Bruce Wayne was and what he meant to him.
But there's always this something that roamed around his conscience, making him uneasy as if he forgot something too important and cannot remember it no matter how hard he tries. It takes him months of obsessively poking that feeling and looking around in his brain to finally piece it all together and basically rewrite his forgotten memories because his heart and mind weren't able to let go of Bruce.
And once he did, he didn't waste any more time on finding Bruce and saving him from prime's clutches.
Their fight is so explosive that it almost nukes a whole city and it would have ended the world if it wasn't for Bruce who got hurt in between all of it.
Clark would've liked to kill prime for all he's done but Bruce has grown to love him in his own way apart from the altered control and Clark cannot exactly force him to alter the reality again not with prime being equally, if not more powerful than him. So they both come to a painful reluctant acquiescence and agree to share Bruce between them.
They staunchly hate and avoid each other as much as they can while being present for Bruce and loving him in their own way. It's a battle of jealousy, possessiveness and constant competition to win Bruce and gain more love from him and it will remain like that until the end of time.
The only time they come together is to fuck Bruce's brains out and turn him into their personal fuck toy
Bruce is the toy caught in the middle of two incredibly powerful beings. He has his manor, his family business and charities, but his primary job is being the whore of 2 superhumans.
He's ostensibly free to roam but he's expected to be ready to use at all times. They take him aside several times a day to suck them off or ride them, keeping him on edge with toys that are swapped out often.
Clark established a command word with hypnosis that let's Bruce cum. Both of them barely ever use it, keeping him wet and almost painfully desperate at all times.
As if the altered reality wasn't dubious enough, prime's bad influence caught up it's way to Clark too and now they both are dead set on molding Bruce as their perfect wife and whore. Poor
ok so let me preface this with saying that i'm not a big precrisis guy. like i've been reading golden age superman recently but that's very much an exception. I'm used to the darker, more hypermasculine characterizations of the late 80s-90s-00s, where male characters couldn't be seen as too affectionate with one another, and there were a lot of intricate rituals involving gruff one liners and beating the shit out of each other. so while i hadn't actually read more than 1 or 2 silver age comics (World's Finest 289: Worms Edition i'm looking at you), i went into reading Action Comics 241 (1958) already expecting it to read as pretty gay, if nothing else just by virtue of it not being my usual.
anyways i was so, so wrong about how gay it was. it's WAY gayer. not in the sense of innuendo or anything like that- unlike World's Finest 289: Wormtopia, sex isn't even mentioned, let alone alluded to. what IS explicit, however, is how loving and playful bruce and clark are with each other. They just so obviously care about each other, in a very intimate and close way. The whole plot of the issue is bruce remembering that it's clark's birthday- even though it's implied clark himself has forgotten- and deciding to put together a fun gift for him in the form of a little mystery, complete with a cake at the end, because that's his dearest companion and he loves him.
In the process there are little moments where we learn things like "bruce and clark are among the VERY few people who know about each others' respective identities/secret bases" and "they trust each other completely"
superman realizing batman was the one responsible for the puzzle, and playing a prank back on him in return by pretending to succumb to kryptonite. and a worried batman immediately revealing himself in order to try and "save" clark:
batman playfully 'finishing' a painting clark had started, as part of the puzzle (this is actually pretty funny because clark's painting was an actual depiction of his view of the surface of Mars. and bruce just finishes it from his own imagination because he thought clark was just drawing random shapes. this, predictably, confuses the hell out of clark):
bruce being very cute and :3c about the fact that he might have successfully pranked his best friend:
and bruce literally baking the cake himself and decorating a room with streamers and banners for clark:
look. even if you're not a shipper, these two love each other. no one else calls or shows up to the party- it's implied bruce is the only one who remembered clark's birthday, and bruce pulls out all the stops for him to try and make him happy. and clark appreciates it, and is playful and affectionate with him right back. If 80s-10s comics have homosexual overtones because of weird misogynistic writing and hypermasculine posturing, precrisis comics has those overtones because the very sweet affection these characters have for each other is quite literally textual. you could have told me bruce and clark were dating in this comic and it wouldn't read any different.
reading stuff like this makes me wish we had more of this sort of openly caring, loving male relationship in modern comics, and all the more grateful that we're sort of getting it in mark waid's current run on world's finest. I can only hope we get more of it moving forward.
Bruce having Dick for a few months and suddenly realizing he can't be that reckless and self-destructive anymore, cause he has become that little boy's entire world. He can't go 4 nights with no sleep, pumped up on stimulants to finish a case, only for the fight to turn so nasty he's bleeding on Alfred's polished floors. He can't do that to Dick. He has to make sure he comes home to Dick every night. He promised Dick he'll be there for him. Suddenly he matters more than just his mission!
(Meanwhile Alfred finally feels his chest loosen up a bit)
Bruce: nonchalantly sewing up his own arm and bleeding everywhere like it's nothing
Alfred: disapproving but standing by with extra towels
Dick: horrified as he overhears Bruce describe the last 72 hours to Alfred down in the Cave
Kryptonians are fae. Young Bruce meets Kal at the wilder edges of his family property. Would he trick Bruce into giving up him name and come back for him or take him right away.
Maybe he was originally planning on eating him but decided to use him as a plaything instead
Fae folks on Earth traditionally got divided into two groups:
The seelie court(associated with summer and spring) and The unseelie court (associated with winter and fall). The seelie court were considered the good and angelic bunch while The unseelie court were considered the evil and malicious bunch.
Kal crash landed on Earth as a baby and was found by a seelie court couple and they raised him as such but in reality Kal's blood belonged to the unseelie court and his darkness started manifesting after he met the gorgeous pretty young boy Bruce.
Everything inside Kal wanted that boy and so he innocuously befriended the naive pretty boy and completely caught him in his webs of lies when he convinced the pretty boy to ask him some and made him his eternal debtor. And by law if a human becomes a fae's eternal debtor there's nothing that can be done about it and Kal is going to take advantage of it to the fullest and he's going to do it slowly because the pretty boy is now his and he's not going anywhere.
Fae Kal calling Bruce was inspired by that once comic panel where Bruce is rescued by fae's and they only call him by pretty boy/pretty thing.
According to the fae's Bruce is just a pretty thing with cotton candy for brains so he doesn't need to worry his pretty little head about anything. All he needs to do is sit there and look pretty.
The old school lack of transparency on tumblr is amazing because you assume the people you follow must all be equivalent to you and then you see someone write “I brought my youngest to college today” and someone else write “my mom wouldn’t let me listen to Ariana Grande when I was a kid” and then your head explodes
honestly one of the best things we can do for ourselves is realize that people of different ages than us can still be the same kind of person as us. it's humbling and it gives everyone involved a sense of continuity, and it busts those stupid generational stereotypes media is so fond of.
I think it's hilarious how many times I've been in the middle of an absolutely UNHINGED and FERAL conversation with someone on here and then I mention my kids or my job or the cancer treatments and I get the pause followed by the inevitable question...
Personally, I love that fandoms bring together people of all ages and walks of life and we all just sit here parallel playing and hyperfixating wildly; the readers of my fanfiction range from minors to pensioners and you'd have NO CLUE which was which. It's glorious.
I hear that Clark is like the huge dog that doesn't know that he's big. Just zero spatial awareness and constantly trying to fit into places he can't. So eager and happy that people just can't bring themselves to push him away and correct him. Trueee but I raise you—
Clark that doesn't seem to realize just how big of a man Bruce is. To his even bigger self, Bruce is just smaller. It wasn't something Bruce thought he would be into but the first time Clark just... picks him up—There's a rush of warmth in him that makes him melt. Some soft and gooey feeling that makes his steady heartbeat finally stutter. Against all odds, he feels safe when he's circled with those invulnerable arms. He feels delicate and loved and it's something Bruce never thought he'd have.
Clark doesn't even need to think about it before he's picking Bruce up. The first time it happened, when they're far away from any battlefield so there's no reason for him to do that, it was automatic. Bruce was flipping pancakes for their breakfast and Clark had been bugging him to move over to the next stovetop —"I wanna heat up Ma's soup, B!" "Wait until I'm done." "Then it's time to eat and I'm starving!" "You don't even need food, Kal" "Doesn't matter" — The more he pleads, the more Bruce plants his feet on the ground, a smug smirk gracing those lips. So Clark just grabs him.
It was more awkward than not, his arms circling around Bruce's waist and lifting, the other squawking in surprise and immediately tried to smack him off with a spatula. Clark shuffles three steps forward with a flailing Bat in his arms and plops him down at the next stovetop, picking up and placing his batter-filled pan there as well —"See? It's easy. You can do it there and I'm here-B? Are you... Oh my gosh, I am so, so sorry. " — Clark began to apologize profusely because he knew how much Bruce hates when people touches and manhandles him. He knew and he still did that. He's about to launch into the most depressing, sad, apologetic speech when Bruce simply... grunted and turned back to flipping pancakes.
Clark wanted to ask him if he's okay, if they're okay, but he should probably give him space. No, he couldn't. Bruce is his best friend and best friends need to respect each other's autonomy and— Clark stops mid-turn as he's about to face Bruce and beg for forgiveness. Because the back of the bat's neck is red. It's flushed the softest shade of red that runs right to the tip of his ears. And one shocked peek gave Clark a glance at a bright red cheek and the upturned edge at of those lips, undeterred by the efforts to bite back that smile. Oh.
Oh.
So Bruce didn't mind that. Probably. Likely?
Clark filed that information away into the depths of his mind, where he collects every little piece knowledge about Bruce—He's a very good listener who sometimes drive Clark insane because his advice always worked. He hates waking up in the mornings but he also hates not waking up in the mornings because "it's time wasted, Kal". He carries around lollipops for little kids. He looks perfect with a baby in his arms, even as Batman. Especially when he's Batman. He doesn't seem to mind when Clark manhandles him — Clark knew he shouldn't take advantage of this new piece of knowledge but he surmised that it's time Superman gets a little bit selfish.
So it started out small and casual. Superman diving in the midst of battle to swipe Batman off his feet, away from the laser beam directedly on him. Batman still yelled at him, like those early days of their rocky partnership, but he didn't disinvite Clark from dinner so Clark counts that as a win.
When Batman stalks off to the watchtower lab or his cave because he just needs to check something out, the final clue that will help them take down villain-of-the-week, without any care that he's bleeding all over the floor, Superman takes it upon himself to wrestle that man to the medbay. He'll try to pick Batman up and the other will put up a worse fight because "We can solve this, Kal! Just give me five minutes!" So Superman just grabs him in a fireman carry and physically hold him down on the medbay bed.
They'll come back to Clark's apartment just at the sun breaks above the horizon, tired but happy that the world is saved for one more day. Clark will nudge Bruce to get into the shower first and when the other inevitably fights him on it, just scoops him up with a sleepy yawn and deposits him right in front of the bathroom. "Relax, B. I got breakfast this time."
Most times it's an echo of that first morning. Breakfast or dinner, it doesn't really matter. They'll be moving in sync, shrouded in the steady calmness of the kitchen. And when Clark needs to scoot to the other side of the kitchen or grab something that is on the bat's side, he doesn't need to say anything anymore. A simple hand on Bruce's waist, the gentlest pressure that Bruce just moves with.
When they get together, Clark finds out that he gets to do all that and more.
Bruce will be surrounded with his case files and a million checklist of things to do. But Clark can just pick him up and fly him to bed. "I'm not done, Kal" "Those can wait for tomorrow, sweetheart"
Bruce will be sneaking out of bed in just a few hours. Clark usually lets him get as far as the stairs before he comes over and swipes him up in a bridal-carry, putting him in bed and laying down on him. "Ugh, you're heavy. Get off of me" "You weren't complaining last night" "... shut up, Kal"
Bruce can't say he hates it. He knows okay? That Superman is, well, super. He can lift anything with barely a finger. But to experience it himself? Again and again? Every time it happens, Bruce feels another piece of his heart melt and be molded into something that is indescribably Clark's name.
He's a big man. 6'2 and with muscles he spent years building. Next to the average person he would look huge. And he doesn't think an average person could lift him a few feet off the ground, let alone casually scoop him up and hold him up. Clark just does it effortlessly and God, if that didn't make Bruce wet. He makes Bruce feel small, like he's someone easy to hold and care for. And Bruce can admit that he likes the casual display of strength.
Bruce Wayne will be taken hostage during a heist gone wrong at a gala, for what felt like the fifth time that month. But Superman will be there, clearing out the goons in just a few minutes before rushing over. "Mr.Wayne! Are you feeling alright?" It's for show, as it always is, but Bruce can hear everyone ooh-ing and aah-ing at how Superman simply carries The Bruce Wayne. That makes something proud unfurls in his chest, like look at my man, look at how strong he is. He preens inwardly and to the cameras trained on them, he swoons. "My hero! You saved my life." If he uses that opportunity to run his hand across firm, thick muscles and listen to the jealous awe of other people, that's no one's business.
There are times when Clark is lounging in bed or in the armchair when Bruce will pass by him. One single arm will stretch out and snag his waist, effortlessly pulling Bruce closer and into Clark's lap. He loves when Clark does that. Sometimes he will fake a struggle, telling the other that he has other, better things to do, which just makes Clark tighten his hold while Bruce feels himself slick up. Sometimes he just curls closer into the broad chest, smiling softly when a face nuzzles into his hair, letting himself fall asleep to kisses to the crown of his head. If Clark is particularly engrossed in his reading and doesn't seem to notice Bruce, of course there's a reason why Bruce Wayne is making multiple trips across the room. He has a lot of billionaire stuff to do that requires walking back and forth on that specific path. Don't question him.
When they're on monitor duty together, Clark will just pull Batman into his lap. "C'mon, B, no one is here," he'll whisper, mouth trailing along the side of the other's neck. At first, Batman did put up a semblance of a fight because this is just unprofessional. But then he stopped with the theatrics and let himself be held. With a disapproving frown because it's still unprofessional. "You're still cute when you pout. Gosh, I really, really like you." Lately Batman and Superman will make their way together into the monitor room and as soon as the door closes, Batman sits himself in Superman's lap, not bothering to hide the little smirk gracing his lips when Superman's arm naturally curls around him. It's for productivity reasons obviously.
In the kitchen, when it's Clark's to turn to cook, he start his routine by picking Bruce up and placing him on the counter. "You just sit there and look pretty, B," Clark says with a kiss on his forehead. Bruce didn't even know that that's something he had been missing in his life. Nobody ever did that and he certainly didn't think he could, but there was Clark wuth zero spatial awareness regarding Bruce.
When it's Bruce's turn to cook, Clark simply plasters himself to his back, keeping his head buried in the crook of Bruce's neck. Obviously he can't move with a giant octopus restricting him from even taking two steps to the side, or focus when Clark feels so good and smells so heavenly, so close to him. But he can't bring himself to get out of the embrace so he just leans back and takes an extra twnety minutes to prepare their meal.
Clark just likes pulling Bruce into his lap for cuddles, no matter when or where they are. It's a sight that's commonplace in the manor to the horror of th batkids. It's a constant in Clark's tiny apartment where he just refuses to let Bruce down. Bruce just gets carried everywhere, from the bedroom to the living room to the kitchen. He holds him like he's something precious and Bruce lets himself revel in it. There's finally someone who can bear the weight of everything that he is.
It does not need to be said that the way Clark can effortlessly hold him up extends to the bedroom. Bruce can ride that dick for hours without worrying that he might hurt Clark, quivering thighs working on milking every ounce of pleasure from them. And when he felt his burning legs giving way, after having Clark come so many times in him that every thrust has cum bubbling out around the thickness, large hands will wrap around his waist, almost covering the entirety of it, as Clark begins pounding into him. Bruce is jostled and bounced, made to meet every snap of his hips, scratchy, almost soundless moans interspersed with the slap of skin on skin. Clark can go for a few more rounds like that. When Bruce is finally laid back on the bed, his gaping, fucked out pussy leaks, pearly white cum dribbling between puffy lips.
Clark can lift him up against the wall as he fucks Bruce, holding him in place as he takes his fill. Bruce can't even get mad when they're moving towards the bed and Clark keeps getting distracted, stopping in place as he bounces Bruce on his cock. Because even then, he's getting dicked down so good and Bruce is desperately clawing and scratching at his back, his moans swallowed by the hungry mouth against his. They usually end up on the floor, with Bruce bent in half as Clark drills into him, taking him again and again until he passes out, coming so hard that his minds white out. He comes to already in bed, clean and warm in Clark's arms, and the thought that Clark could easily do anything to him when he's unconscious has him grinding back on Clark, grinning when the other stirs with a soft curse and one hand automatically reaching between his thighs.
Clark doesn't even have to hold him up. Bruce has never been with someone who technically doesn't need to breathe and it's wonderful. Mindblowing. He can ride Clark's face for hours, his pussy throbbing with overstimulation but still clenching tight around the tongue licking into him. Clark practically makes out with Bruce's cunt, spit and slick trailing down his chin as he laps and mouths at his puffy lips, tongue diving back into the heat to coax more wetness into the greedy mouth.
And when Bruce orgasms again, body slumping forward in exhaustion, Clark doesn't stop. He doesn't even try to lift him up, in fact he hooks his arms around Bruce's thighs and pulls him down, making him rest his weight entirely on Clark's face. Clark knows this must be what heaven feels like, surrounded by the scent of Bruce, a taste that is uniquely the bat's flooding his mouth. He can stay here for days, feeling Bruce tighten hard before going slack, squirting against his face. Clark is drenched by the time he's satisfied, hours later. Bruce's limp body still twitching with aftershocks, his tight pussy now fluttering weakly around Clark, so slack that Clark can easily flip him onto the bed and sheath himself in one smooth thrust.
Clark is just casually loving him and using him like Bruce is this tiny little thing, and Bruce is obsessed with that.
i just remembered a fic that has a trope that i think you will love and it was a oneshot so i want to see you write a fic on it
It is about a justice lord fic where clark has never shown any inclination towards thinking about bruce as more then his best friend but when bruce gets de aged suddenly kal takes him to his room and starts rambling about how he was always jealous that he was not bruce's first and how he is going to keep bruce as his and like that so he cannot escape (deaged) and it was a omegaverse fic
Headcanon that Diana had a tendency to pick people up when she’s excited, and loves spinning them around when she’s hugging them.
And everyone, and I mean everyone loves when she does this.
As her best friends, Bruce and Clark are on the receiving end more than anyone, particularly Bruce, because he’s a little smaller, unlike Clark, who’s the same height as her.
