Stingy Is Intersex

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oozey mess
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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occasionally subtle

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@superlazycake
Stingy Is Intersex
i foun d my old wallet in the drawer next to my bed and it had $400 in it im having a heart attack
reblog the aquabats! wallet of good fortune & you’ll b blessed w/ good fortune
@aeofel @friendlytroll
Reblogging for muns!
I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:
I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,
My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn
Recently someone in class asked me how I was doing and I started off saying I was good but switched to I’m okay in the middle and ended up saying “I’m gay.”
Which, while kind of accurate, was not what I meant to announce to my classmate.
This Halloween I was handing out candy and a child said “trick or treat” and I smiled gave them their candy and apparently my mouth betrayed me and I said “Merry Christmas” and proceeded to sit down and look up to the sky for answers while their mother laughed at me :)))))
Sometimes I try to say “I fucking love you” but it comes out in the wrong order and then everyone’s uncomfortable.
When I first started my coffee shop job, I was still getting used to greeting customers as they came in the door. A man walked in, and in the jumble of trying to say, “How are you doing?” and “What’s up?” I ended up demanding “What are you doing here?!”
something really cool happened once at the office and i started to say “i’m so amazed” but halfway through my mind changed to “that’s really amazing” and i just ended up saying “i’m really so amazing”
today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”
I was at the convenience store and I was going to buy a drink, but i dropped my keys and the drink when I got to the register so I got caught between “my drink!” and “my keys” and ended up screaming “MY KINK.”
I walked up to this register,in a target. When the cashier finished checking me out she said have a good day, and i wanted to say “You have a good day” and “You too” so it came out “You have a good do do”
I FUCKIN H HIT MY HEAD ON A CHAIR FROM LAUGHING TOO HARD AT THIS FUCKING POS T
This post is too good. I once tried to say have a nice day or have a good day to a customer and said ‘Have a nude gay!’. Still haven’t recovered.
OOC: i get really used to working nights or days at my work so i’m often jumbled between “have a nice night” and “have a good day” so often it comes out as “have a nice neigh” or “have a good date” or occasionally even “have a night die”
in first grade someone apologized to me and i responded by saying “you’re welcome” and i still haven’t recovered
I was mad at my friend Gabe and tried to call him a bitch, ended up calling him “babe”. It’s been four years and he still hasn’t let it go
My little sister tried to say “sneaky” and “secretive” at the same time and ended up saying “sneakrative”
One time my friend’s mom was driving us home and she tried to yell “Opossum! ” because one ran out into the road, but it got mixed up with “My God!” And came out “MUFASA!” She laughed so hard she had to pull over and my friend almost had an asthma attack.
Once I went to this restaurant my family and I had been going to since I was an infant,and I wanted to ask if my family had been going there since before I was born. Well,something got mixed up in my brain and I ended up turning to my mom and saying “Did you guys come here when I was still alive?” And my mom lost her damn mind.
In fourth grade I had to lead the pledge of allegiance and said “Amen” at the end and was so embarrassed!
I worked at a call center and one time I hung up to find all my coworkers staring at me. Apparently I told the caller “I love you” and didn’t even realize it
First big high school debate meet. Practicing in my head “I’m Melanie, this is my partner Cassidy. I’m Melanie, this is my partner Cassidy.” I get up there and go “I’m Cassidy….” and Cassidy goes “No you’re not”
one time i was trying to say “thank you bella” and for some reason it came out like “thank you belly” let me die in peace thank you very much
Once i answered the phone and in a perfectly nice amiable voice just said “one?”
I am sitting at my desk at work and fucking dying, oh my god
I love these stories. Every once in a while I’ll answer the phone with the completely wrong thing. Once I answered my phone when a number I didn’t know was calling and instead of saying “Hello?” I said “Bye?” so I just hung up because I’d said bye.
When I sing the Fresh Prince theme song for some reason when I get to "sit right there" I always say "shit right there" and I can't stop doing it.
I’m pretty sure everyone loves the “Stephanie becoming the new hero of lazytown” headcanon but I also love the headcanon of Ziggy taking on on Sporty’s role and totally being like Alex lol you know fighting the temptation
OMG I support this so much! I never really liked Stephanie becoming the hero of LazyTown to be honest, I’m not sure why.
It's because Stephanie won't save you if you piss her off even by accident, and that's not really a hero spirit. Ziggy doesn't care if they made him mad; he just cares that they're his friends.
im so pissed that sportacus’ crystal goes off when the town loses their sports equipment/veg (albeit briefly) and when the kids are sad/in trouble or even for most other minor inconveniences but when robbie’s upset/in trouble it hardly ever goes off. great.
Maybe it’s to do with the fact that Robbie is a (self-proclaimed) villain. Maybe his crystal is programmed to not respond to the villain’s pain because, you know, heroes aren’t meant to really get on with villains.
My theory is someone has to think/say “I need help” because the crystal DOES respond to Robbie, but only when he asks, IE on the bilboard, or when he’s trapped in the trunk.
in the tags, put
- where u live
- ur first language
- what u call this:
Caption this
When you start singing the theme tune but then realise it’s season 3 and they shortened it
When you and your bf are about to smash but you can't get it up so you have to bottom
Imagine Sportacus eating a blood orange
But it's REALLY juicy and gets all over him, and when he finishes he looks like he's murdered someone and Robbie comes up like "OMG" and sport pulls out an unpealed orange and says "Eat your sportscandy, Robbie." And it's normal but because of the blood orange to robbie it sounds really menacing and he, pale in the face, squeaks out, "O-okay," as he shakily takes the orange.
this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!
ehh what the hell
OH MY GOD SO NO FUCKIN BULLSHIT I SWEAR To GOD. I reblogged this an hour ago and IM NOT Lying My Tax Refund which I did in late march popped into my Bank Account, and it was a Decent sized amount……
WHAT THE FUCK Is THIS MAGIC!??!?!?! Im trying this again IM NOT BSing hahahaha thats actually pretty cool xD
yooooo
yoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
FUCKIN YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
no BULLSHIT I KID YOU NOT! Look what I found while walking Home…..
OH MY GOD
OH MY F*CKIN GOD
THIS POST FUCKIN WORKS?!?!?! THIS IS PAST A COINCIDENCE NO WAY!??! NO FRIGGIN WAY!!!
Im Going to reblog this every day to test this, its MAGIC ITS FRIGGIN MAGIC
I need to believe in the heart of the post…
Oh? Well… *reblag*
i reblogged this and now my uncle is giving me 250 to dye my hair nani the fucko
I have nothing to lose
my palm was itchin today not riskin it
I always reblog the money posts cause I can’t afford not too lol
It works. I just got $300 for no reason.
Money dog is my friend
Money dog is the shit
Let’s see your magic money dog
May you please give me your mercy money dog
Muns doge so munny I reblogged a different money post so why should this be different?
hope your pets stay healthy in 2017
I almost didn’t blog this and felt guilty
I got excited because someone followed my other blog but it was a porn bot :(
Disney give me a job I can draw just looking at stuff
Edgy/Gun Wander is my aesthetic.
Wander is sick of your shit, Sylvia
A shameless promotion of one of my blogs on another blog.
I complained about the porn bots and now bots posting buzzfeed articles are following me. Reblog this from me if you're a real person so I can see how many followers I actually have.
Okay so like wtf is up with porn bots?
I am a gentle soul. I don’t like seeing naked people (who aren’t drawings). Aside from me, it is problematic because there are actually children on this site! Do they have no shame? Also I'm sure I'm ace/pan now because I'm literally attracted to a giant eyeball for his brains, and these disgusting human bodies insult me with their bold and brashness.
Sitting and wracking up moves on this move counter was preferable to cleaning. It took me the first hour of 10 hours of Platinum Disco