i’ll oh so probably regret letting myself roam Good Omens Tumblr like an absolutely feral goat-pigeon but i just have to say I JUST–
Aziraphale has never fell (yet), only assigned (or perhaps demoted?) to Earth and humans. Heaven is his home. that is where he comes from, what he has always known. he may live on Earth and in his bookshop, may spend the rest of eternity there if allowed, but he’ll always have his first home waiting for him, or perhaps his first home he is waiting for to call him back, tugging incessantly at the back of his mind. it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t fit there quite as nicely as the other angels. it doesn’t matter that Gabriel and the others threatened him and everything he loves. it doesn’t matter the danger, the toxicity, the abuse, the manipulation, the selfishness, the cold and cruelty of it all. that’s his home. Heaven is home. and angels are supposed to love and see the best in everything, unconditionally. it doesn’t mean they see right, but that’s angel eyes for you. and so the bookshop is his home-away-from-home. it isn’t meant to last forever, as he tells Crowley. it isn’t. the bookshop is Aziraphale’s own little corner of Heaven on Earth, his physical shelter among humans. but it is just a place. that doesn’t diminish his love for it, for what it contains, nor the time he has passed in it or the people he has shared it with. to Aziraphale, the place doesn’t equate the memories. it’s just a place. it’s just an impermanent and concrete house. never a forever home.
Crowley… lost his home. Heaven was home, and he rejoiced creating for it, expanding it. but Crowley fell (and that we must see in s3 i am begging) and the doors of Heaven locked him out. whether he bargained to come back, immediately denied or accepted his fate, took centuries to come to terms with his exile or with his flawed perception of Heaven–we don’t know. but two facts remain: Crowley lost his home, and Crowley can never go back. he does not welcome Hell as his new home either. unlike Aziraphale, his time on Earth is never framed in temporality. he does not have that anchor he can rely on in either Hell or Heaven. he’s going through the motions as best as he can, coming to terms with his fall from above and the Above’s fall in his esteem and personal concept of morality. so no home. forever nomad. except. except. Aziraphale and the bookshop. those he always relied on, and he told his angel so. ok, yeah, duh, obvious. to everyone, including us. but not to Aziraphale. angel doesn’t know home for him and home for Crowley are vastly different concepts. we know Crowley relinquished his flat to Shax when she took his job, but did he tell Aziraphale? anyone? no. because the flat doesn’t matter. the flat is to Crowley what the bookshop is to Aziraphale, and even less than that. the Bentley would rank a little closer to the truth. but even the Bentley he lost once in s1, and mourned it, but it’s more like losing a limb. not your heart. your heart you keep safe at home. in a bookshop. in the hands of the angel you love.
but your angel doesn’t see your home for what it is and is wholeheartedly willing to leave it behind and take it away from you.
but your demon doesn’t see your home for what it is and is hellbent on forsaking it and keeping you away from it.
their homes don’t align. and so their hearts cannot either.
No, I suppose they don’t.
the whole exchange is a double one-sided conversation tainted but their respective traumas.
Aziraphale says I’m touched you care so much about my love for the bookshop, but don’t you be sad Crowley, I’m bringing both of us home now because I love you and I’ve always wanted to give you back what you lost. Crowley hears This place you’ve let yourself call home? I don’t care for it, nor for your heart, and I’m crushing both because only Heaven is forever—and you were a sad fool to believe anything different would happen.
Crowley responds I can see now I was entirely mistaken to trust you would care for my heart and I’m letting you go back to the place you truly want, the only place that doesn’t want me, and that hurts angel. Aziraphale hears I’m judging your choices and feel such pity for your dreams of home that I would never want to be a part of it.
THIS IS MY HOME. YOU ARE IT. // I WANT BETTER FOR US. FOR YOU.
they’ve become so intrinsically intertwined in each other that they cannot fathom thinking of home differently. 6,000 years of loyal companionship will do that to you. and perhaps it is time for each of them to grow a little on their own, so they can circle back to each other, back home home, back to them, their us, just like stars in a nebula align.
gamechangershow
amandla
turnnoffyourmind
titsay
